Call It Even - [JJ Project Oneshot 2/2]
~~
“Hey, Jaebum!” Jinyoung greeted, pleased to see Jaebum sitting with his eyes open and only one earbud in- it was clear he’d been expecting him.
It was now Friday, marking their third day of “civilized” conversation, the fifth since Jinyoung first started bothering Jaebum. They’d spent their entire lunch break the day before discussing music as well, and Jinyoung had honestly been pleasantly surprised. Jaebum obviously had a pride issue, but once warmed up a bit he really wasn’t bad to talk to. Rather than deliberately mean, Jinyoung had realized that Jaebum was just extremely guarded.
The truth of the matter was that Jinyoung would go as far as to say he truly enjoyed the time he spent with Jaebum, even though having fun hadn’t been his original intent. He’d had fun purposefully pushing Jaebum’s buttons as he tried to figure him out, fooling around as he tried to pull different reactions out of him. But the genuine moments of thoughtful discussion were what stuck with Jinyoung afterwards.
It made him wonder too, why Jaebum was the way he was. It was clear his ostracism was self-inflicted, and his aggressive attitude purposeful to keep others at a distance. Had he been hurt before, perhaps?
But musings aside, it was now Friday and he couldn’t shirk his responsibility any longer; he needed a response by Monday.
“So. About Jeju,” Jinyoung began immediately, already having figured out Jaebum hated beating around the bush.
Jaebum scoffed.
“Are you still going on about that? I haven’t changed my mind.”
“Why though?” Jinyoung pressed.
Jaebum only shrugged, but annoyance was beginning to make its way onto his features.
“You can tell me stuff, you know,” Jinyoung changed approaches, softening his voice. “Is…Is anything going on at home?”
Jaebum looked confused.
“No, why? Should there be something going on?”
“Is it about the about the money then?” Jinyoung tried. “I know the fee isn’t exactly cheap.”
Jaebum’s eyes widened, a look of horrified comprehension reflected in his dark eyes before changing into something more dangerous.
“It’s not that. Just drop it, okay?” A hint of anger could now be heard in Jaebum’s tone. Jinyoung took the anger as a sign that he was getting closer.
“Or is something going on at home that you can’t leave behind?” Jinyoung pressed on, determined. “Or your parents don’t want you to go for whatever reason? Or is there someone you want avoid on the trip? Or is-”
“NO!”
Jinyoung broke off, shocked, as Jaebum’s deafening voice reverberated in the stairwell. He was now standing, face twisted in fury as he glared down at Jinyoung.
“I told you to shut up! And here I was actually starting to think you were different,” he scoffed, face twisted in a sneer.
“I’m only trying to understand,” Jinyoung said weakly, disoriented by the sudden shift in events but Jaebum only chuckled darkly.
“Yeah. As if. You’re all the same. You think you get me, don’t you? Oh, I’m the aggressive loner kid who hates people and sits alone in corners listening to rock music and gets into fights and never does his homework so obviously I’ve got to have issues, right?”
“That’s not what I was-”
“DON’T DENY IT!” Jaebum bellowed and Jinyoung swallowed back his words.
“Of COURSE I’ve got to have issues! Because there’s no way a NORMAL teenager would act like me right? So OBVIOUSLY my family either has to have money problems, or I must’ve grown up in a single parent family, or I’ve been abused, or abandoned, or all of the above right?”
Jaebum was laughing but there was no mirth in the sound, only a sharp mockery.
“Well guess what? I’m just MESSED UP, okay? I grew up in a happy family with plenty of money and I still turned out this way, okay? And you know what? I HATE people like you, people who think you can just stick your perfect little noses from your perfect little lives into OTHER people’s business and pick things apart and decide what’s wrong. You act all high and mighty, but at the end of the day YOU KNOW NOTHING! ABSOLUTELY NOTHING!”
Jinyoung winced at the volume of Jaebum’s voice, and then flinched when Jaebum drew closer, thrusting his face into Jinyoung’s personal space as he grew even more agitated.
“And you know what’s the worst thing about people like you? You NEED to find a reason, something, ANYTHING to blame for something that YOU think is wrong. Because you can’t seem to wrap your pretty little minds around the fact that MAYBE THIS IS THE WAY I AM THERE IS NO REASON! I’m NOT some angsty teen waiting for someone to come by so I can tell them my SOB STORY, okay? I AM NOT A PITY CASE!”
Jaebum was panting, face flushed as he spat out the end of his tirade. Jinyoung was gaping, open-mouthed as he struggled for something to say. But the words wouldn’t come.
This time it was Jaebum who left first, tossing a disdainful look behind his shoulder as he descended the stairs.
~~
Jaebum spent his entire weekend thinking about Jinyoung. About how despite the fact that he’d been proven to be everything Jaebum should’ve expected him to be, he couldn’t help but miss his company, couldn’t help but feel a bit empty. He couldn’t stop thinking about his cheeky grin, ridiculous pout, and constant chatter of absolutely nothing of importance.
About the utterly defeated look on his face when Jaebum turned to walk away from him.
But the hurt was more overwhelming, the hurt of being misunderstood yet again, the hurt of why can’t people just get it and stop making things so dang overcomplicated.
The hurt of Jinyoung being one of those people.
By the time Monday rolled around Jaebum was still wallowing in his stew of anger and regret. He was so close to boiling over, he was boiling over. He needed to find release, he needed to get rid of this pent up frustration and anger so even if he promised his parents, even if he promised himself, he sent that provocative text.
A guilty thrill burned through Jaebum’s veins as he received an equally provocative response a few minutes later.
Jaebum slid into class five minutes late on purpose and the whole rest of the morning he didn’t even glance once in Jinyoung’s direction, his eyes fixed on the window outside as his fingers drummed on his desk impatiently. The moment they were let out for break, Jaebum was running, anticipation building as his knuckles itched and a dry smile tugged at the corner of his lips. He dutifully ignored the calls of his name from somewhere behind him, legs pumping faster as he rushed outside to meet his opponent.
Undercut, dodge.
Swipe, grapple.
Punch, kick.
Hit, get hit.
Jaebum lost himself in the frenzy of thrashing limbs and pummeling fists, instincts taking over as his mind shut down. He didn’t even feel the pain, only the high of adrenaline making his muscles spasm and quiver in a deranged sort of ecstasy.
Jaebum didn’t even notice it was over until he was literally on his back, body still thrashing until a voice cut through to his mind, bringing him back to reality.
Jaebum’s limbs instantly became limp as Jinyoung’s face came into focus, his expression a cross between terrified and determined. Jaebum jerked his head to the side just in time to see his opponent stalk off, throwing off the restraining hands of Mark and Jackson who followed him persistently.
“Why?”
Jaebum snapped his attention back to Jinyoung, who slowly scooted back to let Jaebum sit up.
Jaebum eased himself up onto his elbows, then fully up onto his hands, silent as he dropped his gaze. What he just did is finally beginning to settle in, and a hot shame replaced the adrenaline.
“I was worried, you know. I…I was going to apologize today and then you just ran out,” Jinyoung was mumbling now, something so uncharacteristic of him that Jaebum’s eyes were drawn up involuntarily.
An angry red abrasion decorated Jinyoung’s cheek and Jaebum’s stomach dropped. His hand moved without his consent, coming up to cup Jinyoung’s cheek as his thumb traced it lightly.
“Did I…” Jaebum’s throat was so dry he couldn’t even get words out.
Jinyoung didn’t say anything but the answer was clear, and a self-loathing hit Jaebum so intense it made the bile rise up in his throat.
“I-” Jaebum tried to jerk his hand away but then Jinyoung was holding it in place, warm hand closing firmly around his own.
“Stop,” Jinyoung’s voice was quiet but commanding, and Jaebum stilled.
“No more running away, okay? Hear me out first.”
Jinyoung’s eyes were imploring, irresistible, and Jaebum could only jerk his head in affirmation. Jinyoung let out a sign of relief, letting their hands fall from his face but keeping his grip firm around Jaebum’s.
“I’m sorry. I’m really really sorry. You were right. I jumped to conclusions that I was under no circumstances justified to make. It was shallow of me, and completely inconsiderate of your feelings. But I also want to say I didn’t start talking to you because I saw you as something I needed to fix.” Jinyoung paused, eyes crinkling in a sheepish smile. “Okay, yes, at first it was because I’m supposed to get everyone to sign up for the Jeju trip, but I promise, I really enjoyed spending lunch time with you. And I never, ever pitied you. I promise.”
Jinyoung’s hand tightened slightly around Jaebum’s, his eyes shining with a sincerity that could not be denied.
“I…” Jaebum swallowed, wetting his lips as he tried to get his words in order. Jinyoung waited patiently. “I’m…I’m sorry for being a jerk. And for overreacting. And for hitting you. And…” Jaebum trailed off and Jinyoung chuckled, relief evident in his laugh as he watched Jaebum try to think of everything he did.
“I think that’s about it!” Jinyoung’s eyes formed two crescent moons as he grinned widely. “Let’s just call it even?”
Jaebum had a look of pure awe as he stared at Jinyoung, before nodding fervently in agreement.
“But wait!” Jinyoung suddenly composed his face into as serious of an expression as possible. “First you need to promise to come on the Jeju trip.”
There was a moment of silence before Jaebum burst into laughter.
“Fine, I guess I owe you that much.”
“Good.” The cheeky smile Jaebum had missed so much was back as Jinyoung let go of Jaebum’s hand and sprang to his feet. But the next second his hand was outstretched again, offering to pull Jaebum up.
This time, Jaebum didn’t slap his hand away.
A/N: Please comment if you enjoyed, and don't forget to check out 7fics for more got7 fanfics! If you've got requests, that would be the place to leave 'em!
Also! I wrote a crossover fill with JB and BAP's Youngjae, which you can read here.