A round-up of all things important in the world
I have rants and reflections in work, but lack the focus to really get them in shape, so we'll just do links.
Dan Savage tells us: Oh, and speaking of male escorts who've earned their wings: Gay blogger Joe My God thinks we all need to show some love to Mike Jones, the escort who outed Pastor Ted "Meth Head" Haggard. "The major gay-rights organizations have extended [Jones] nothing but 10-foot poles," writes Joe. "He is unemployed and I imagine that for at least the short future, he is unemployable. He is facing the potential of huge legal bills. He has received death threats from Haggard's followers... Gentle readers, you and I owe Mike Jones a debt of gratitude." Joe suggests we make good on that debt by tossing Jones a few bucks via PayPal. "Send him the $10 you would have spent buying him drinks if you ran into him in a bar." I made a donation-now go make yours. Donations can be made at www.PayPal.com to Jones's e-mail address, massageandmuscle@aol.com.
Thinking of it as a drink in a bar makes sense, and I've done my civic duty.
I love to ogle Australia.
Fun Google searches:
*Type: “worst band in the world”, see the 4th to 5th search result from the top.
Click here to try it automatically.
*Type: “answer to life the universe and everything”, see the 1st search result from the top.
Click here to try it automatically.
*Type: “french military victories” and click ‘I’m feeling lucky’, see the error screen that appears.
Click here to try it automatically.
*Type: “waffles” and check first result.
Click here to try it automatically.
It is always fun to test whether you can tell the difference between a female and a shemale. I still need a little practice.
JimmerUK sets out to test whether cat food or dog food it worse tasting.
I look at the ingredients.
Meat and animal derivates (including min 4% chicken), minerals.
Only 4% chicken?! Is this "Supermeat" really hard to get hold of then? 4% of anything does not maketh a meal, how they can get away with saying this has meat in is unbelievable.
So what's the other 96%?
ANALYSIS (%): Protein 9.5 / Oil 3.5 / Ash 2 / Fibre 0.3 / Moisture 83 / Vitamin E 8mg/kg.
Hang on... ash?! There's half as much ash in this catfood as there is meat! Shouldn't they label this "Chicken & Ash Flavour"? And what's this 83% "Moisture" nonsense. If something's 83% water, it should never be described as "moisture" which hints at only a little bit of water. This catfood is a drink with bits in, more Cat-a-Cup-a-Soup than food.
A non-ISO 9000-compliant, but still funny, men's guide to clothing selection.
Holiday eating tips thoughtfully provided by ms_wonderland:
1. Avoid carrot sticks. Anyone who puts carrots on a holiday buffet table knows nothing of the Christmas spirit. In fact, if you see carrots, leave immediately. Go next door, where they're serving rum balls.
2. Drink as much eggnog as you can. And quickly. Like fine single-malt scotch, it's rare. In fact, it's even rarer than single-malt scotch. You can't find it any other time of year but now. So drink up! Who cares that it has 10,000 calories in every sip? It's not as if you're going to turn into an eggnogaholic or something. It's a treat. Enjoy it. Have one for me. Have two. It's later than you think. It's Christmas!
3. If something comes with gravy, use it. That's the whole point of gravy. Gravy does not stand alone. Pour it on. Make a volcano out of your mashed potatoes. Fill it with gravy. Eat the volcano. Repeat.
4. As for mashed potatoes, always ask if they're made with skim milk or whole milk. If it's skim, pass. Why bother? It's like buying a sports car with an automatic transmission.
5. Do not have a snack before going to a party in an effort to control your eating. The whole point of going to a Christmas party is to eat other people's food for free. Lots of it. Hello?
6. Under no circumstances should you exercise between now and New Year's. You can do that in January when you have nothing else to do. This is the time for long naps, which you'll need after circling the buffet table while carrying a 10-pound plate of food and that vat of eggnog.
7. If you come across something really good at a buffet table, like frosted Christmas cookies in the shape and size of Santa, position yourself near them and don't budge. Have as many as you can before becoming the center of attention. They're like a beautiful pair of shoes. If you leave them behind, you're never going to see them again.
8. Same for pies. Apple. Pumpkin. Mincemeat. Have a slice of each. Or, if you don't like mincemeat, have two apples and one pumpkin. Always have three. When else do you get to have more than one dessert? Labor Day?
9. Did someone mention fruitcake? Granted, it's loaded with the mandatory celebratory calories, but avoid it at all cost. I mean, have some standards.
10. One final tip: If you don't feel terrible when you leave the party or get up from the table, you haven't been paying attention.
Dan Savage tells us: Oh, and speaking of male escorts who've earned their wings: Gay blogger Joe My God thinks we all need to show some love to Mike Jones, the escort who outed Pastor Ted "Meth Head" Haggard. "The major gay-rights organizations have extended [Jones] nothing but 10-foot poles," writes Joe. "He is unemployed and I imagine that for at least the short future, he is unemployable. He is facing the potential of huge legal bills. He has received death threats from Haggard's followers... Gentle readers, you and I owe Mike Jones a debt of gratitude." Joe suggests we make good on that debt by tossing Jones a few bucks via PayPal. "Send him the $10 you would have spent buying him drinks if you ran into him in a bar." I made a donation-now go make yours. Donations can be made at www.PayPal.com to Jones's e-mail address, massageandmuscle@aol.com.
Thinking of it as a drink in a bar makes sense, and I've done my civic duty.
I love to ogle Australia.
Fun Google searches:
*Type: “worst band in the world”, see the 4th to 5th search result from the top.
Click here to try it automatically.
*Type: “answer to life the universe and everything”, see the 1st search result from the top.
Click here to try it automatically.
*Type: “french military victories” and click ‘I’m feeling lucky’, see the error screen that appears.
Click here to try it automatically.
*Type: “waffles” and check first result.
Click here to try it automatically.
It is always fun to test whether you can tell the difference between a female and a shemale. I still need a little practice.
JimmerUK sets out to test whether cat food or dog food it worse tasting.
I look at the ingredients.
Meat and animal derivates (including min 4% chicken), minerals.
Only 4% chicken?! Is this "Supermeat" really hard to get hold of then? 4% of anything does not maketh a meal, how they can get away with saying this has meat in is unbelievable.
So what's the other 96%?
ANALYSIS (%): Protein 9.5 / Oil 3.5 / Ash 2 / Fibre 0.3 / Moisture 83 / Vitamin E 8mg/kg.
Hang on... ash?! There's half as much ash in this catfood as there is meat! Shouldn't they label this "Chicken & Ash Flavour"? And what's this 83% "Moisture" nonsense. If something's 83% water, it should never be described as "moisture" which hints at only a little bit of water. This catfood is a drink with bits in, more Cat-a-Cup-a-Soup than food.
A non-ISO 9000-compliant, but still funny, men's guide to clothing selection.
Holiday eating tips thoughtfully provided by ms_wonderland:
1. Avoid carrot sticks. Anyone who puts carrots on a holiday buffet table knows nothing of the Christmas spirit. In fact, if you see carrots, leave immediately. Go next door, where they're serving rum balls.
2. Drink as much eggnog as you can. And quickly. Like fine single-malt scotch, it's rare. In fact, it's even rarer than single-malt scotch. You can't find it any other time of year but now. So drink up! Who cares that it has 10,000 calories in every sip? It's not as if you're going to turn into an eggnogaholic or something. It's a treat. Enjoy it. Have one for me. Have two. It's later than you think. It's Christmas!
3. If something comes with gravy, use it. That's the whole point of gravy. Gravy does not stand alone. Pour it on. Make a volcano out of your mashed potatoes. Fill it with gravy. Eat the volcano. Repeat.
4. As for mashed potatoes, always ask if they're made with skim milk or whole milk. If it's skim, pass. Why bother? It's like buying a sports car with an automatic transmission.
5. Do not have a snack before going to a party in an effort to control your eating. The whole point of going to a Christmas party is to eat other people's food for free. Lots of it. Hello?
6. Under no circumstances should you exercise between now and New Year's. You can do that in January when you have nothing else to do. This is the time for long naps, which you'll need after circling the buffet table while carrying a 10-pound plate of food and that vat of eggnog.
7. If you come across something really good at a buffet table, like frosted Christmas cookies in the shape and size of Santa, position yourself near them and don't budge. Have as many as you can before becoming the center of attention. They're like a beautiful pair of shoes. If you leave them behind, you're never going to see them again.
8. Same for pies. Apple. Pumpkin. Mincemeat. Have a slice of each. Or, if you don't like mincemeat, have two apples and one pumpkin. Always have three. When else do you get to have more than one dessert? Labor Day?
9. Did someone mention fruitcake? Granted, it's loaded with the mandatory celebratory calories, but avoid it at all cost. I mean, have some standards.
10. One final tip: If you don't feel terrible when you leave the party or get up from the table, you haven't been paying attention.