mad ramblings... feel free to just ignore
... It's just one of those nights, I guess -- when ghosts of the past drop in for a visit and refuse to be ignored. They haunt me and hound my footsteps and thwart every attempt I make at diverting my thoughts.
I absolutely HATE feeling this way. I despise feeling sorry for myself. I will not deny that I feel utterly betrayed; and dear heavens, yes, it hurts worse than a thousand icy needles under my feet, but it's done. It's been over and done with months ago, though I was not made aware of it until fairly recently... Why is it so much easier to say, "Get over it!" than to actually get over it? What is it about him that keeps pulling me back into that quagmire of confusion and hurt?
The opposite of love is not hate, it's indifference. I do not want to hate him. I want to be indifferent to him. I want to not care about him at all. I want to be able to look at him with the girl he replaced me with and be able to smile because I simply couldn't care less.
I refuse to be defeated by this. I refuse to be defeated by him. He may have shattered my heart and he may have broken every promise he's ever made to me, but I swear that I will not be broken by him. I will not.
I am the one that got away... or so I keep telling myself. Perhaps someday, I'd be able to say that with true conviction rather than just false bravado.
I absolutely HATE feeling this way. I despise feeling sorry for myself. I will not deny that I feel utterly betrayed; and dear heavens, yes, it hurts worse than a thousand icy needles under my feet, but it's done. It's been over and done with months ago, though I was not made aware of it until fairly recently... Why is it so much easier to say, "Get over it!" than to actually get over it? What is it about him that keeps pulling me back into that quagmire of confusion and hurt?
The opposite of love is not hate, it's indifference. I do not want to hate him. I want to be indifferent to him. I want to not care about him at all. I want to be able to look at him with the girl he replaced me with and be able to smile because I simply couldn't care less.
I refuse to be defeated by this. I refuse to be defeated by him. He may have shattered my heart and he may have broken every promise he's ever made to me, but I swear that I will not be broken by him. I will not.
I am the one that got away... or so I keep telling myself. Perhaps someday, I'd be able to say that with true conviction rather than just false bravado.