Jump the Track: Chapter 10 (part 1)
Title - Jump the Track
Chapter - 10 (part 1)
Author - lafleurdumal85
Rating - NC-17
Summary - High school AU. It's Dean's senior year at Lawrence High, and he's already given up on himself. It takes the arrival of the strange, intense, awkward Castiel Delacroix at the school to prove to Dean that maybe his life is worth saving after all.
Chapter warnings - language, lots and lots of sex (finally)
Spoilers - References to characters from seasons 1-6. Apart from that, it's completely AU.
Nothing and everything had changed. Neither of them had spoken about what had happened since leaving the empty house that day and to all outward appearances they’d carried on as before, but Dean could feel the shift in their relationship. Castiel knew the worst now. He knew the deepest, darkest secret in Dean’s soul, and he hadn’t been scared away. He’d stayed, and he’d loved Dean, and he’d made him feel okay about himself for the first time in... God, years. Dean had trusted Castiel with his life from the beginning, but now he trusted him with his heart, which felt like a much bigger risk. He trusted himself to love Castiel.
It should freak him out a lot more than it actually did, he thought. Any kind of emotional intimacy or closeness had always made him run for the hills, and talking about his feelings was like having teeth pulled, but then it wasn’t like he and Cas were going to suddenly start having sappy heart-to-hearts and crying over Beaches together or anything.
It was just in the way that Dean’s shoulders would relax when they were together because he was with someone who knew him so completely he didn’t have to pretend. It was in the way they could have heated arguments without it being scary because however mad they got, they loved each other more. It was in the way that sometimes, when Dean found himself dwelling on the past, he’d look up to find Cas watching him with such love and understanding in his eyes that Dean would completely forget to be sad.
It was ridiculous really; Dean wanted to laugh out loud at how unlikely it was. Here he was, a salt-of-the-earth guy who had spent his entire teens fantasizing about busty, promiscuous underwear models and leering at anything in a short skirt, and the one person he’d actually been able to love was... and here Dean really would start laughing at the curve-ball life had sent him. He’d fallen for not just a guy, but a socially awkward, sexually inexperienced, nerdy little dude with secret ninja powers and the ability to go without blinking for far longer than was natural. A guy who liked crossword puzzles and obscure novels, and who would sometimes stare up at the sky for ages like he was listening for divine messages from above. A guy who occasionally wore hideous sweater vests. Funny, the way things turned out.
There were times when he could almost kid himself that they were a proper couple. Castiel would come over for dinner some nights, and he’d play chess with Sam while Dean crammed for some test or other he needed to pass. Then they’d sit next to each other at the dinner table and Cas would discuss American military history with Dean’s father while they ate. Dean would press his leg up against Castiel’s beneath the table, and they’d both smile, thrilled by their daring.
But then the lies would come, because they weren’t a proper couple, and it wasn’t like Dean could just hold Cas’s hand sitting on the couch or lean over and kiss him while they were doing the dishes together. They were hiding it away like it was some dirty little secret, like they were ashamed, and Dean hated that. More than anything, he hated that he was still too scared to do anything about it.
The most he could do was to casually suggest that they go up to his bedroom so that Cas could show him that new online study guide he’d been talking about, or some other stupid excuse. Dean would shut the door firmly behind them and, because he didn’t know the words, he’d tell Castiel how much he loved him with his hands and his lips and his tongue.
Sometimes he’d almost forget himself and put an arm around Castiel when they were in public. Sometimes it almost physically hurt not to be touching him, and Dean would have to drag Castiel down to the school boiler room during lunch break for another fix. He’d never been so grateful that he’d made friends with the janitor back in sophomore year.
“Jesus Christ, Cas,” Dean gasped, holding onto a water pipe for support. He was pretty sure his legs had stopped functioning properly some time ago. “Jesus Christ.”
Castiel got to his feet, wiping his mouth on the back of his hand. “I suspect I shouldn’t find it so arousing when you blaspheme during intercourse.”
Dean zipped up his pants with a breathless laugh, pulling Castiel in for a lingering kiss. “And I probably shouldn’t find it so hot that I can taste myself in your mouth.”
He buried his face in the crook of Castiel’s neck and breathed in deeply. “Damn it, Cas, you should come with a health warning; you’re more addictive than crack.”
Castiel laughed huskily, his arms wrapped around Dean’s back like he was still scared he was going to get away.
“Cas... you have a definite natural talent.”
Castiel pulled away a little with a rueful smile. “I probably shouldn’t remind you of the first time I tried to do that to you and I accidentally bit you a little bit.”
“Yeah, well, okay, you’re a fast learner. Hey, Cas? You’re... you’re not gonna forget about me when you go off to college, are you?” Dean winced as soon as the words had slipped out, because seriously? Was he actually becoming a girl?
“Why would you even think that?” Castiel tilted his head to one side, as if Dean was a curious, fascinating specimen.
Dean laughed awkwardly. “Nah, forget it. This isn’t gonna be one of those conversations.”
Castiel’s brow creased with a small frown.
“What?” Dean reckoned he was becoming pretty fluent in the nuances of Cas’s facial expressions.
“Nothing,” Castiel demurred.
“No, tell me.” Dean caught hold of his chin, running the pad of his thumb over the other boy’s lips.
“Come with me.”
“What?”
“Dean, come with me to Ithaca. I know you don’t want to go to college, but you can get a job there! I’m sure there are plenty of auto shops that need a good mechanic.”
Dean looked down, kind of shocked because Cas had never asked anything of him before, never gave the slightest hint that he might be scared about something or insecure. A vision of the two of them living together, out in the open, flashed through his mind, and it didn’t scare Dean nearly as much as it should. In fact, it sounded kind of amazing. “I can’t,” he whispered.
Castiel let his arms fall to his sides and he moved away from Dean. “I understand.”
“It’s not that I don’t... It’s just... my dad, you know? He’s got a job lined up for me once I graduate, and he... he wants me to take over the family business one day. I can’t just let him down.”
The corner of Castiel’s mouth twitched a little. “I know. I suppose we’re both somewhat constrained by what our families expect from us.” He looked over at Dean with big, sad eyes.
“Yeah.” Dean tried to quell the sudden sick feeling in his stomach that they weren’t going to make it. That they weren’t strong enough to withstand everything the world would throw at them.
“I’m telling them about Cornell,” Castiel said. “This weekend.”
The floor of the boiler room suddenly became very interesting to Dean. “Right.”
“Dean, you... it’s going to be okay. I mean, we’ll be okay.”
“Right.”
Castiel came to stand in front of Dean again and gently traced the lines of his face with long, cool fingers. “I’m serious. We’ll make it work. Remember that wherever I am... most of the time I would rather be here with you.”
...
“You’re kidding me.”
Mr Henriksen looked down at him with a perfect poker face. “I’m disappointed in you, Winchester; you should know by now that I have no sense of humor.”
Dean turned his eyes back to the test paper his math teacher had just slapped down on his desk. “I’ve never gotten an A before in my life.”
“Yeah, well, I’m guessing you’ve never applied yourself before either. I told you, you’re a smart kid. I also recall telling you that I’d get you through senior year.” Henriksen was definitely looking smug now, like Dean’s success was entirely his doing.
Dean was still too shocked to give the guy the sarcastic response he deserved. He picked up his schoolbag and wandered out into the hallway in a daze.
Sam was waiting for him by his locker, all awkward long limbs and floppy hair. “Dean, there’s an extra rehearsal for Our Town tonight, so I’m gonna get a lift home from Lily, okay?” Dean nodded. “Sure, Sammy.”
Sam wrinkled his face up. “You okay, Dean? You look weird.”
Numbly, Dean pushed the test paper at his brother, and watched Sam’s eyes grow wide as he looked at it.
“You got an A in calculus?” Sam wasn’t quick enough to hide the slight jealousy in his tone, and it made Dean laugh, snapping him out of his stupor.
“Don’t worry, Sammy, you’re still the genius of the family.” He ruffled Sam’s hair, trying not to be annoyed that the kid was almost as tall as him now.
Sam smiled guiltily. “I’m sorry, I didn’t... Dean, this is amazing. I mean, you could definitely go to college with the grades you’re getting now. You could still do a late application, you know.”
“Nah.” Dean shoved the paper to the bottom of his bag. “Not for me. Still, good to know I’m not a complete idiot.” He laughed a little awkwardly.
“Sam!”
The brothers turned around to see Becky Rosen shoving her way through the crowds of milling students.
Dean heard Sam sigh resignedly. “Hi, Becky.”
Becky beamed up at him. “You have good hair today, Sam.”
Dean turned away to hide a grin.
“Um, thanks, Becky. Was there something you wanted?”
“Well, you’re going to the rehearsal tonight, right? Because I was wondering if you’d like to go for ice cream afterwards. With me.”
Dean wasn’t looking, but he knew the awkward, constipated face his little brother would be pulling right now. Clearly, all of John’s flirting genes had been used up on Dean.
“I dunno, Becky.”
Becky, however, was not to be deterred. She narrowed her eyes and looked at Sam appraisingly. “Your favorite ice cream’s mint choc-chip, right?”
“Um... yeah, and I’m not gonna ask how you knew that, but what’s it got to do with-”
“Well, mine’s raspberry ripple, and they actually go surprisingly well together. You know, you wouldn’t think they would, but they do. What I’m trying to say is that just because you might not think things make sense like ice cream or, you know, people, it doesn’t mean you shouldn’t give them a chance. Cause you might miss out on something amazing.”
Sam ran his hands through his hair in frustration. “Becky... look, you just need to... give it up, okay? You’re a lovely girl, but I’m interested in someone else, and it’s not gonna happen with us!”
It was scary, Dean thought, how girls’ expressions could go from sweet to murderous in the space of nought-point-five seconds.
“You mean Ruby,” Becky snarled. “Sam, get a clue! She’s not into you, okay? She’s not a nice person and she’s just using you to do her assignments for her so that she and her friends can go throw themselves at the football team!”
Sam scowled. “You don’t even know her!”
“I know her better than you do.”
“Becky, just... just get over it, okay? I’m not interested!”
Becky glared up at him, her bottom lip trembling a little. Then she whipped around and stormed off.
Dean turned around to rip his little brother a new one for being a jerk to a cute girl, but Becky beat him to it, back again and all up in Sam’s business.
“You know what, Sam? You’re an idiot!” she yelled, making the passing students stop and stare. “You are! Look, I know what I’m like, okay? I know I’m a little crazy, and I don’t wear short skirts or have big boobs or shampoo commercial hair. I know I can come on a little strong, but that’s just because I like you and I don’t see the point in lying about it or playing head games just because it’s the cool thing to do. I’m a nice person, okay? And I like you! I’d never manipulate you or try to change you or make you do stuff you’re not into, because I think you’re amazing just the way you are. But if that’s not good enough for you and you’d rather be with someone who’s horrible to you just because she’s popular and hot, then... maybe you’re not good enough for me!” She marched away again amid whoops and cheers.
Sam had turned an interesting shade of beetroot.
Dean let out a low whistle. “Dude, you just got schooled!”
“Shut up, Dean,” Sam mumbled, looking very much like any time the earth wanted to open up and swallow him would be fine by him.
A/N: So once again, I've manager to write a chapter that needed to be posted in two parts. Please proceed to the gratuitous porn of Part 2
Chapter - 10 (part 1)
Author - lafleurdumal85
Rating - NC-17
Summary - High school AU. It's Dean's senior year at Lawrence High, and he's already given up on himself. It takes the arrival of the strange, intense, awkward Castiel Delacroix at the school to prove to Dean that maybe his life is worth saving after all.
Chapter warnings - language, lots and lots of sex (finally)
Spoilers - References to characters from seasons 1-6. Apart from that, it's completely AU.
Nothing and everything had changed. Neither of them had spoken about what had happened since leaving the empty house that day and to all outward appearances they’d carried on as before, but Dean could feel the shift in their relationship. Castiel knew the worst now. He knew the deepest, darkest secret in Dean’s soul, and he hadn’t been scared away. He’d stayed, and he’d loved Dean, and he’d made him feel okay about himself for the first time in... God, years. Dean had trusted Castiel with his life from the beginning, but now he trusted him with his heart, which felt like a much bigger risk. He trusted himself to love Castiel.
It should freak him out a lot more than it actually did, he thought. Any kind of emotional intimacy or closeness had always made him run for the hills, and talking about his feelings was like having teeth pulled, but then it wasn’t like he and Cas were going to suddenly start having sappy heart-to-hearts and crying over Beaches together or anything.
It was just in the way that Dean’s shoulders would relax when they were together because he was with someone who knew him so completely he didn’t have to pretend. It was in the way they could have heated arguments without it being scary because however mad they got, they loved each other more. It was in the way that sometimes, when Dean found himself dwelling on the past, he’d look up to find Cas watching him with such love and understanding in his eyes that Dean would completely forget to be sad.
It was ridiculous really; Dean wanted to laugh out loud at how unlikely it was. Here he was, a salt-of-the-earth guy who had spent his entire teens fantasizing about busty, promiscuous underwear models and leering at anything in a short skirt, and the one person he’d actually been able to love was... and here Dean really would start laughing at the curve-ball life had sent him. He’d fallen for not just a guy, but a socially awkward, sexually inexperienced, nerdy little dude with secret ninja powers and the ability to go without blinking for far longer than was natural. A guy who liked crossword puzzles and obscure novels, and who would sometimes stare up at the sky for ages like he was listening for divine messages from above. A guy who occasionally wore hideous sweater vests. Funny, the way things turned out.
There were times when he could almost kid himself that they were a proper couple. Castiel would come over for dinner some nights, and he’d play chess with Sam while Dean crammed for some test or other he needed to pass. Then they’d sit next to each other at the dinner table and Cas would discuss American military history with Dean’s father while they ate. Dean would press his leg up against Castiel’s beneath the table, and they’d both smile, thrilled by their daring.
But then the lies would come, because they weren’t a proper couple, and it wasn’t like Dean could just hold Cas’s hand sitting on the couch or lean over and kiss him while they were doing the dishes together. They were hiding it away like it was some dirty little secret, like they were ashamed, and Dean hated that. More than anything, he hated that he was still too scared to do anything about it.
The most he could do was to casually suggest that they go up to his bedroom so that Cas could show him that new online study guide he’d been talking about, or some other stupid excuse. Dean would shut the door firmly behind them and, because he didn’t know the words, he’d tell Castiel how much he loved him with his hands and his lips and his tongue.
Sometimes he’d almost forget himself and put an arm around Castiel when they were in public. Sometimes it almost physically hurt not to be touching him, and Dean would have to drag Castiel down to the school boiler room during lunch break for another fix. He’d never been so grateful that he’d made friends with the janitor back in sophomore year.
“Jesus Christ, Cas,” Dean gasped, holding onto a water pipe for support. He was pretty sure his legs had stopped functioning properly some time ago. “Jesus Christ.”
Castiel got to his feet, wiping his mouth on the back of his hand. “I suspect I shouldn’t find it so arousing when you blaspheme during intercourse.”
Dean zipped up his pants with a breathless laugh, pulling Castiel in for a lingering kiss. “And I probably shouldn’t find it so hot that I can taste myself in your mouth.”
He buried his face in the crook of Castiel’s neck and breathed in deeply. “Damn it, Cas, you should come with a health warning; you’re more addictive than crack.”
Castiel laughed huskily, his arms wrapped around Dean’s back like he was still scared he was going to get away.
“Cas... you have a definite natural talent.”
Castiel pulled away a little with a rueful smile. “I probably shouldn’t remind you of the first time I tried to do that to you and I accidentally bit you a little bit.”
“Yeah, well, okay, you’re a fast learner. Hey, Cas? You’re... you’re not gonna forget about me when you go off to college, are you?” Dean winced as soon as the words had slipped out, because seriously? Was he actually becoming a girl?
“Why would you even think that?” Castiel tilted his head to one side, as if Dean was a curious, fascinating specimen.
Dean laughed awkwardly. “Nah, forget it. This isn’t gonna be one of those conversations.”
Castiel’s brow creased with a small frown.
“What?” Dean reckoned he was becoming pretty fluent in the nuances of Cas’s facial expressions.
“Nothing,” Castiel demurred.
“No, tell me.” Dean caught hold of his chin, running the pad of his thumb over the other boy’s lips.
“Come with me.”
“What?”
“Dean, come with me to Ithaca. I know you don’t want to go to college, but you can get a job there! I’m sure there are plenty of auto shops that need a good mechanic.”
Dean looked down, kind of shocked because Cas had never asked anything of him before, never gave the slightest hint that he might be scared about something or insecure. A vision of the two of them living together, out in the open, flashed through his mind, and it didn’t scare Dean nearly as much as it should. In fact, it sounded kind of amazing. “I can’t,” he whispered.
Castiel let his arms fall to his sides and he moved away from Dean. “I understand.”
“It’s not that I don’t... It’s just... my dad, you know? He’s got a job lined up for me once I graduate, and he... he wants me to take over the family business one day. I can’t just let him down.”
The corner of Castiel’s mouth twitched a little. “I know. I suppose we’re both somewhat constrained by what our families expect from us.” He looked over at Dean with big, sad eyes.
“Yeah.” Dean tried to quell the sudden sick feeling in his stomach that they weren’t going to make it. That they weren’t strong enough to withstand everything the world would throw at them.
“I’m telling them about Cornell,” Castiel said. “This weekend.”
The floor of the boiler room suddenly became very interesting to Dean. “Right.”
“Dean, you... it’s going to be okay. I mean, we’ll be okay.”
“Right.”
Castiel came to stand in front of Dean again and gently traced the lines of his face with long, cool fingers. “I’m serious. We’ll make it work. Remember that wherever I am... most of the time I would rather be here with you.”
...
“You’re kidding me.”
Mr Henriksen looked down at him with a perfect poker face. “I’m disappointed in you, Winchester; you should know by now that I have no sense of humor.”
Dean turned his eyes back to the test paper his math teacher had just slapped down on his desk. “I’ve never gotten an A before in my life.”
“Yeah, well, I’m guessing you’ve never applied yourself before either. I told you, you’re a smart kid. I also recall telling you that I’d get you through senior year.” Henriksen was definitely looking smug now, like Dean’s success was entirely his doing.
Dean was still too shocked to give the guy the sarcastic response he deserved. He picked up his schoolbag and wandered out into the hallway in a daze.
Sam was waiting for him by his locker, all awkward long limbs and floppy hair. “Dean, there’s an extra rehearsal for Our Town tonight, so I’m gonna get a lift home from Lily, okay?” Dean nodded. “Sure, Sammy.”
Sam wrinkled his face up. “You okay, Dean? You look weird.”
Numbly, Dean pushed the test paper at his brother, and watched Sam’s eyes grow wide as he looked at it.
“You got an A in calculus?” Sam wasn’t quick enough to hide the slight jealousy in his tone, and it made Dean laugh, snapping him out of his stupor.
“Don’t worry, Sammy, you’re still the genius of the family.” He ruffled Sam’s hair, trying not to be annoyed that the kid was almost as tall as him now.
Sam smiled guiltily. “I’m sorry, I didn’t... Dean, this is amazing. I mean, you could definitely go to college with the grades you’re getting now. You could still do a late application, you know.”
“Nah.” Dean shoved the paper to the bottom of his bag. “Not for me. Still, good to know I’m not a complete idiot.” He laughed a little awkwardly.
“Sam!”
The brothers turned around to see Becky Rosen shoving her way through the crowds of milling students.
Dean heard Sam sigh resignedly. “Hi, Becky.”
Becky beamed up at him. “You have good hair today, Sam.”
Dean turned away to hide a grin.
“Um, thanks, Becky. Was there something you wanted?”
“Well, you’re going to the rehearsal tonight, right? Because I was wondering if you’d like to go for ice cream afterwards. With me.”
Dean wasn’t looking, but he knew the awkward, constipated face his little brother would be pulling right now. Clearly, all of John’s flirting genes had been used up on Dean.
“I dunno, Becky.”
Becky, however, was not to be deterred. She narrowed her eyes and looked at Sam appraisingly. “Your favorite ice cream’s mint choc-chip, right?”
“Um... yeah, and I’m not gonna ask how you knew that, but what’s it got to do with-”
“Well, mine’s raspberry ripple, and they actually go surprisingly well together. You know, you wouldn’t think they would, but they do. What I’m trying to say is that just because you might not think things make sense like ice cream or, you know, people, it doesn’t mean you shouldn’t give them a chance. Cause you might miss out on something amazing.”
Sam ran his hands through his hair in frustration. “Becky... look, you just need to... give it up, okay? You’re a lovely girl, but I’m interested in someone else, and it’s not gonna happen with us!”
It was scary, Dean thought, how girls’ expressions could go from sweet to murderous in the space of nought-point-five seconds.
“You mean Ruby,” Becky snarled. “Sam, get a clue! She’s not into you, okay? She’s not a nice person and she’s just using you to do her assignments for her so that she and her friends can go throw themselves at the football team!”
Sam scowled. “You don’t even know her!”
“I know her better than you do.”
“Becky, just... just get over it, okay? I’m not interested!”
Becky glared up at him, her bottom lip trembling a little. Then she whipped around and stormed off.
Dean turned around to rip his little brother a new one for being a jerk to a cute girl, but Becky beat him to it, back again and all up in Sam’s business.
“You know what, Sam? You’re an idiot!” she yelled, making the passing students stop and stare. “You are! Look, I know what I’m like, okay? I know I’m a little crazy, and I don’t wear short skirts or have big boobs or shampoo commercial hair. I know I can come on a little strong, but that’s just because I like you and I don’t see the point in lying about it or playing head games just because it’s the cool thing to do. I’m a nice person, okay? And I like you! I’d never manipulate you or try to change you or make you do stuff you’re not into, because I think you’re amazing just the way you are. But if that’s not good enough for you and you’d rather be with someone who’s horrible to you just because she’s popular and hot, then... maybe you’re not good enough for me!” She marched away again amid whoops and cheers.
Sam had turned an interesting shade of beetroot.
Dean let out a low whistle. “Dude, you just got schooled!”
“Shut up, Dean,” Sam mumbled, looking very much like any time the earth wanted to open up and swallow him would be fine by him.
A/N: So once again, I've manager to write a chapter that needed to be posted in two parts. Please proceed to the gratuitous porn of Part 2