Jump the Track: Chapter 5
Title - Jump the Track
Chapter - 5/?
Author - lafleurdumal85
Rating - NC-17
Summary - High school AU. It's Dean's senior year at Lawrence High, and he's already given up on himself. It takes the arrival of the strange, intense, awkward Castiel Delacroix at the school to prove to Dean that maybe his life is worth saving after all.
Chapter warnings - language, sexual references, Dean being an idiot
Spoilers - References to characters from seasons 1-6. Apart from that, it's completely AU.
“Cas, I’m sure I don’t have to-look, most people just get notes online or something. I don’t have to read the actual play.”
Castiel gave him a look that said Dean Winchester, I will end you. “I was under the impression that you wanted to pass English. You need to do these essays for extra credit, and for that you need to read the play. Or do you not care about any of this after all? Am I wasting my time?”
Dean scrunched his hair in his hands. His skin was hot and prickly, and he felt like he really, really needed to just kick something right about now. This whole tuition thing had been a horrible idea. For someone who came across so awkward and thoughtful, Castiel could be a real slave-driver when he wanted to be. Which was all the fucking time as far as Dean was concerned. He’d even drawn Dean a timetable to help him manage his studies, and he’d color-coded it because apparently scientific studies had proven that the human brain responded faster to color than it did to text. He’d made Dean hang it opposite his bed so that it was the first thing he saw when he opened his eyes in the morning. To think, Dean had thought Castiel had actually cared when he’d asked Dean about his out of school commitments. No, the sneaky bastard was just trying to plan how much of Dean’s life he could monopolize with this insane regime. Stupid Castiel with his stupid multi-colored sharpies. Dean would very much like to get hold of Castiel’s sharpies and-
“Dean! Focus!”
Dean let out a groan of frustration. “Look, I can’t, okay? We’ve already spent an hour on Physics, and now you expect me to read friggin’ Shakespeare?”
“We have to multi-task. The fact is that the only classes you’re okay with are Woodshop and Spanish, so we’ve really got to-”
“I know that, Cas, but… Shakespeare! I mean, this isn’t even English anymore! It’s… how the hell am I supposed to write an essay on this crap if I don’t even understand half the words?”
Castiel sighed wearily. “Okay. We can take a short break.”
“Thank you.” Dean took a long swig of the soda his mom had brought through earlier, and rested the can against his hot forehead. Castiel sat beside him in silence. “Hey, Cas?”
“Yes?”
“When do you do your work?”
“In study hall, and when I get home at night after evening prayer is over.”
Dean grimaced. “So you spend your whole life doing schoolwork? Dude.”
“It’s not like I have anything better to do.” Castiel gave a small shrug. “And I like coming here.”
Dean moistened his lips with the tip of his tongue. He guessed he really should try to keep in mind that Cas was doing him a huge favor with all of this and he should attempt to be a more agreeable student. “So… can I ask you something?”
“May I.”
“Huh?”
“Obviously you can ask me something as you have just done so. When requesting permission out of politeness you should say ‘may I’.”
Dean inhaled deeply, and valiantly resisted the urge to tip the remaining soda over his friend’s head. “Fine. I was just wondering… you remember that day out by the bleachers? You know, when Steve Pritchett was giving you a hard time and you…”
“Yes.”
“Well… how did you do that? I mean, Steve’s not the toughest guy but I’ve seen him hold his own, and you just… it was awesome, man! You floored him.”
Castiel looked amused. “I’ve practiced martial arts since I was a child. Judo, Ninjutso, Krav Maga… We all have, the children in my family. It helps to keep us focused, channel our energies in a healthy way. A discipline for both mind and body. I practice every morning before I go to school; it wakes me up. I’m not half as good as Michael though, he’s…” Castiel frowned. “I’m not really supposed to actually use it on people. Not in real life. It was only ever supposed to be a… a method of personal improvement. But that boy was very provoking, and… it wasn’t as if anyone else was going to stop him. I’m not proud of it.”
Dean was fully aware of the reprimand in this, and changed the subject. “So your whole family do it then?”
“Yes. Although Anna isn’t as keen on it as Michael and I.”
Dean thought of the sulky girl he’d briefly met at Castiel’s house, and felt another pang of sympathy for her. “Anna. That’s… I mean, it doesn’t sound like an angel name. Was she not-”
“Anna is short for Anael.” The corner of Castiel’s mouth twitched. “We’re all angels.”
“So… how big is your family exactly?”
Castiel’s brows knitted a little, and Dean felt that he really wasn’t entirely comfortable discussing family matters. Still, he couldn’t help his curiosity - Castiel’s home situation was unlike anything Dean had ever come across.
“There’s a lot of us,” Castiel told him, “though I haven’t seen many of them in years. It was better when I was younger and my father was still around. He kept the family together. But then he realized that his true calling was with the world at large, spreading God’s word, and… and we’ve all kind of drifted since then. My father still leaves his instructions, but it’s… I don’t know. When I was little we lived in Denver near my uncle Raphael. I wasn’t close to him - he was never the kind of man you could be close to - but I got on well with my cousin Balthazar. We played together a lot, but then I moved away with my Uncle Zachariah, and I haven’t seen Balthazar in over seven years.”
“And you… you never hung out with Michael, or-”
“Michael isn’t the type you ‘hang out’ with, Dean. He is my… my elder. My superior in many ways. He has always been better than me. Stronger, you know? His faith is pure and unwavering. I love him, but I’m not… close to him. I can’t be. And Anna is… she’s always been the baby of the family, and she’s rebellious. Her heart is not with the mission, and… and I try to help her, show her how she could find it easier, but… I don’t know.”
“So it’s just you and Michael then, who’re your dad’s kids.”
Castiel grimaced again. “Ah. No. There’s… I have another older brother, the eldest, but he left some years ago now. We haven’t heard from him since.”
The look on Castiel’s face made Dean feel like he shouldn’t push anymore. He felt bad now for sticking his nose into Castiel’s family life, and when Cas suggested that they get back to work Dean didn’t complain.
“Just read over the soliloquy a couple of times,” Castiel instructed. “Then talk to me about your impressions.”
Dean read in silence. “I… Cas, I can’t. I can’t write one thousand words on this! I don’t even understand the language!” He threw the book down in frustration.
“Dean, you’re allowing yourself to become distracted by the words. Don’t think about that. What is Hamlet actually saying here? What’s just happened?”
“Well, his dad was killed by his uncle, right? And now his uncle’s hooked up with his mom. And his dad’s ghost came back and told him to kill his uncle, but Hamlet doesn’t want to cause he’s chicken shit.”
“You… may wish to word it differently in your essay, but yes. And what is he saying here?”
“Well, he’s… he’s thinking about death. He’s thinking about whether it’d be better to face up to things or just give up. Right? And… and he’s… he doesn’t know what’s gonna happen. It’s like he’s stuck at a crossroads. He’s scared to do what he knows he should, but… but the other option isn’t exactly attractive either. He wants to take that leap, but he’s scared of what’ll happen if he does.”
“Good,” Castiel breathed. “Sound familiar?”
Dean scowled at him. “Dude, what did I tell you about psychoanalyzing me?”
“No, it’s good. You should use what you can identify with in the essay - it will make it yours. Shakespeare is ageless, Dean. Get past the barriers of the antiquated language and you’ll discover the universal themes of our existence. Uncertainty, betrayal, fear of the unknown, jealousy, anger, greed, love… That’s why these plays have stood the test of time. People can relate to them because they are about the human condition. Find out what the story means to you, then write about that.”
Dean shook his head. “Cas, I can’t just… I’m not smart like you are.”
“Dean, look at me. Look. You are not stupid, and you are more than capable of doing this.”
There was something about the way Castiel was looking at him that made Dean feel exposed. “How can you be so sure?”
The other boy gazed at him evenly. “Because I have faith in you.”
…
“Winchester. A word.”
Dean groaned inwardly. “Mr Henriksen?”
The math teacher waited until the other students had left the classroom, then looked up at Dean. “You’ll be pleased to know that you passed your trigonometry make-up test. It was good work, Winchester - a solid B-minus. You’re finally putting in the effort.”
Dean tried his best to hide how pleased he was. “Well, I… I had some help. A friend’s been tutoring me, so it’s-”
“Don’t sell yourself short.” Henriksen actually grinned. “Look, I know I’ve been riding you hard. I know you probably think I’m a jerk and that I should get off your case. But believe me, Dean, I wouldn’t be half as tough on you if I thought you weren’t capable of better things. I push you because I know you could do well, and there’s nothing I hate more than a talented kid giving up on himself. I’m glad you’re finally giving that brain of yours a chance.”
“Uh… yeah.” Dean wasn’t entirely sure how to respond. “Um… thanks, Mr Henriksen.”
“Okay, get out of here. And don’t be late next lesson.”
Dean walked quickly towards the cafeteria. He was back in the game as far as math was concerned, and he couldn’t wait to tell Cas. Cas, who had put up with Dean’s swearing and ranting while he’d studied for the test. His vows that he was doomed to failure. He never would have gotten through it if it wasn’t for Castiel.
“Hi, Dean.”
Dean stopped in his tracks and turned around to see Lisa Braeden leaning against her locker, smiling at him.
“Oh… hey, Lisa. What’s up?”
“I was just wondering if you wanted to do something tonight.” Her smile grew wider.
Dean swallowed. “What, you and me?”
She laughed. “Obviously. Matt and I broke up last week, and I really need someone to go to the new Robert Downey Jr. movie with. What do you say?” She took a step towards him, her smile indicating that she knew exactly what Dean would say.
The trouble was that Dean already had a study date booked with Castiel that evening. He’d barely scraped through his Chemistry test and there was still lots he needed to work on. On the other hand, Lisa was gorgeous, she was the head cheerleader, and best of all she wasn’t a prude. Surely Cas wouldn’t mind.
“Sure, Lisa. I’ll pick you up at seven.”
Dean walked into the cafeteria with a huge grin on his face, immediately honing in on where his friends were seated at the back. Dean was pleased to see that Castiel was with them. He used to spend his lunch times alone or with his associates from the Christian society, but lately he’d been spending more and more time with Dean and his friends. Dean wasn’t really surprised by how easily his gang had welcomed the new addition to their flock. After all, between Pam’s widely proclaimed psychic abilities, Ash’s computer hacking habit and Jo’s knife collection, none of them were exactly normal. True, Jo still stared at Castiel like he was some kind of space alien and Ash had found his complete ignorance of the Internet hilarious, but Dean could tell they accepted him. It was like an unspoken ‘welcome all outcasts’ rule.
Dean was genuinely pleased his friends liked Castiel, which made him wonder why it was that he sometimes felt jealous. Seeing Castiel engaging with other people, talking to them, smiling at them… It was weird. It wasn’t like Dean didn’t want the guy to spend time with other people, but he couldn’t get over this childish impulse to make sure that everyone knew Cas was his friend first and foremost. He… really didn’t want the other boy finding someone better and forgetting about Dean.
“Hey, Cas!” he called, throwing himself into the seat at the end of the table. “Guess who scored a B-minus in their trig make up test?”
Castiel was the only person Dean had ever met who could smile without actually moving his mouth. “Dean, that’s wonderful. I told you you could do it.”
“Thanks to you, man!” Dean slapped him on the shoulder and Castiel’s cheeks turned a little pink.
“It’s good to have you back, Dean,” Jo said, grinning at him. “Here.” She shoved a brown paper bag towards him. “My mom made you a BLT sandwich.”
“Joanna Beth, your mother is a wonderful woman.” Dean grabbed the sandwich out of the bag and took a large bite. “Hey, Cas?” he mumbled. “’m gonna have to cancel tonight. Something came up.”
Castiel’s brow puckered a little. “What’s happened?”
Dean swallowed. “Nothing. It’s just I have a date. Can we rearrange for Friday instead?”
Castiel’s face smoothed out so that he was completely expressionless. “I see.”
“It’s just that I don’t have anything big coming up right now, and I promise I’ll catch up over the weekend. And this girl’s really hot.”
Pam groaned. “Ugh, I bet it’s that Lisa again.”
“What’s wrong with Lisa?” Dean said defensively.
Jo gave him a stony look. “You mean little miss I’m-only-complete-when-I-have-a-man-on-my-arm? Hmm, let’s see…”
“Lisa’s cool!”
“Oh, you would say that,” Pam cut in. “Like guys ever have an issue with women who define themselves by who they’re dating. Dean, I think you’re being a little thoughtless here.”
“What? Oh, come on! Cas doesn’t mind, do you, Cas?”
“It’s up to you how you spend your time, Dean,” Castiel replied evenly, that blank expression still on his face.
“See? It’s fine!”
Pam was glaring at him like she was trying to tell him something, but Dean pretended not to see.
“Dean, you’re such a jerk sometimes!” Jo snapped at him.
“What the hell is your problem?”
“Ash,” Pam said. “As a man of superior cranial capacity, would you care to inform Dean that he’s acting like a douche?”
Ash held his hands up. “Sorry, ladies, I’m on team Winchester here. A hot chick asks you out, you drop everything.”
Pam and Jo made loud noises of disgust, Jo muttering something that sounded like “Men!”
…
Sam was waiting for Dean by his locker at the end of school and they made their way to the parking lot together.
“I dunno, man,” Dean sighed. “I don’t get why they were so mad at me! They know what I’m like by now. It was just that they seemed to think I was doing something wrong by Cas. But he said he was cool with it so I don’t see what the issue is! It’s only one night!”
“Maybe they just don’t like the girl.”
“Well they never did, but they didn’t act like this when I went out with her before! Anyway, enough about me. How’re things with you, short bus? Made contact with this Ruby chick yet?”
Sam scrunched up his face. “Not really. I talked to her a little in Math, but she was only half interested. Her friend Meg asked me out though.”
“Well hey, that’s progress! Is Meg cute?”
“I guess, but she makes out with everyone. She’s not really my type.”
“Hang on in there. She’ll come around to your charm. Just… just don’t start talking to her about dinosaurs, okay?”
“Hey, some people find dinosaurs really interesting!”
“Yeah, if they’re-”
“Sam!”
They both turned round to see a tiny blonde girl running across the parking lot towards them.
“Oh crap!” Sam hissed. “Get in the car, Dean. Get in the car and drive. We can pretend we didn’t hear!”
“Sammy, what the hell?”
“Oh god, it’s too late!”
The blonde girl had caught up with them. “Sam! Hey! I’ve been trying to talk to you all day! You’re really fast!”
“Hi, Becky,” Sam muttered, staring at his shoes.
“Hi, Sam.” Becky was the happiest looking person Dean had ever seen.
“So… what did you want to talk to me about?”
“Oh! Well, you didn’t get the itinerary for the next History Club meeting. I told Ava I’d give it to you! You know, I wanted to tell you that I really, really liked your presentation in Art yesterday. I never knew Michelangelo was gay! I wonder if anyone’s written any fanfiction. Anyway, your hair’s looking really good today. Oh hey! You must be Dean! Sam talks about you all the time. You’re totally his hero. Anyway, I have to go - I promised I’d meet Ava and Lori. I’ll see you tomorrow, Sam! I’ll save you a seat in English!” She ran off again.
Dean laughed. “Did… did she even pause for breath? Who the hell was that?”
“Becky Rosen,” Sam groaned. “She’s Ava’s friend. She… likes me.”
“No kidding! Well hey, she seemed nice, why don’t you go for it?”
“Um, because she’s insane? Seriously, Dean, can we just go home now?”
“What, you’re not gonna take my advice? I thought I was your hero.”
San colored. “I never said that, okay!”
“Shut up, I’m totally your hero.”
“God, Dean, you’re such a jerk!”
…
Castiel was unusually quiet during their study session on Friday.
“Is everything okay, dude?” Dean asked.
“Of course. How are you doing with the quiz?”
“Fine. It’s all going fine. Cas, are you sure you’re okay?”
“Yes. Did… did you have a good time last night?”
“Hm? Oh yeah, it was cool I guess.”
“Lisa is… she seems… she has… nice… hair.”
“Yeah, she’s a total babe. Plus, all that cheerleading makes her really flexible, if you know what I mean.”
“I think we should focus on studying right now,” Castiel said quietly.
…
“Dean, just think about it! Think how cool it’ll look!”
“Yeah, imagine the title: School Bad Boy Triumphs Over Death!”
Dean sighed wearily. Ed and Harry had been trying to get an exclusive interview with him about his accident for weeks, and they’d managed to catch up with him just after the final bell of the day had rung. The two of them ran the school paper and they were harmless enough most of the time. Harmless, except when you had a story they wanted, and then they were like some kind of fungal infection. Just when you thought you’d shaken them off, they popped right back up again.
“Look, guys, I really don’t wanna talk about it, okay? Why don’t you run along and find a new victim?”
“Dean!” Harry wheedled. “Come on, man! It’d do wonders for our circulation, and everyone’s been dying to know what really happened. You could set the record straight!”
“Guys, back off, okay? I’m not comfortable talking about it, and I-”
“But it’s the most interesting thing that’s happened at this school in years!”
“Dean has told you that he doesn’t wish to talk about it. I suggest you respect that.”
Dean turned around to see Castiel standing next to him, giving the two amateur journalists his very best death glare. Dean felt a little scared for them. Ed and Harry looked like they wanted to protest, but Castiel just stared and stared, and Dean knew from experience how unnerving it could be. Eventually they took the hint and backed away nervously.
“Thanks, man,” Dean sighed. “Those guys can be kinda persistent. I just… really don’t wanna talk about what happened.”
“Of course not.” Castiel moved closer to him so that their arms were pressed together. Dean supposed that this was Cas’s version of a pat on the back.
“Hey… I know we hadn’t arranged to study tonight or anything, but d’you wanna hang out?”
“Oh, I… I’m afraid I can’t tonight, Dean. We have a family meeting.”
“Oh. Well… that’s cool. I gotta hang around here for a bit longer to wait for my brother, so I guess I’ll see you tomorrow.”
“Dean, wait. I… can stay a little longer, if you’d like the company.”
Dean grinned, his spirits lifting. “Yeah, that’d be cool. It’d give us a chance to talk about something other than work. C’mon, we’ll go out to the car.”
Sam had Math Club on Tuesdays after school, so Dean had to wait an extra half-hour for him. He usually found this annoying, but as Castiel had decided to wait with him today he didn’t really mind. The two of them sat on the hood of Dean’s car, and Dean was trying to explain the merits of driving for fun to his friend (“but, Dean, don’t you find it confining?”), when they were approached by Tara Bury, a pretty brunette girl in Dean’s history class.
She smiled at Castiel. “Hi, Cas. You left your textbook in Mr Fitzgerald’s lab.” She handed Castiel the book, her smile widening.
Dean felt annoyed. He was the only one who was allowed to call Castiel ‘Cas’.
“Thank you,” Castiel said.
“No problem.” She was staring at him and smiling. “So… maybe I’ll see you around?”
Castiel glanced up at her. “We have three classes together so it’s likely.”
“Hi, Tara,” Dean said.
She gave him a frosty glare. “Dean.”
“How’ve you been?”
“Fine.” She pointedly turned away from him and smiled at Castiel again. “Well… I guess I’ll see you tomorrow then.”
Cas gave her a brief, perfunctory smile. “Yes. Thank you.”
When she walked away, Dean gave Castiel a hard nudge. “Dude, what the hell is wrong with you? She was totally giving you the come-on!”
“What?”
“She likes you! Man, you should go for it.”
“I… I don’t…” Castiel was looking thoroughly embarrassed now.
Dean looked at him. “What? You’ve had girlfriends before, right?”
“Not… exactly.”
“Oh. But… but you’ve done stuff, right?”
Castiel was staring determinedly at his shoes.
“Oh. Oh man. How is that even possible? I mean, you’ve got that whole mysterious, brooding thing going on, which chicks love. And you’re not, you know, unattractive. Were you waiting for a written invitation or something?”
“Dean, I’ve spent my whole life up until now only interacting with my family. Any, ah, romantic relationships would have involved some fairly controversial lifestyle choices.”
“Right. Yeah. Wow. Sorry, I… forgot.”
There was a long, awkward silence.
“You know, I could help you out.”
Castiel looked at him, shocked. “You could… what?”
“I could, you know, hook you up with some girls. I mean, you’re getting me through high school, it’s the least I could do. See, studying might not be my thing, but when it comes to this I am a world class expert.”
Castiel looked down again. “Oh. Um… that really won’t be necessary.”
“Oh come on, it’s really not that scary. And Tara’s perfect. She’s a cool girl, and a total vixen in the sack. I banged her a couple of times last year, and she’s not afraid to take charge. She’ll definitely show you the ropes.”
Castiel frowned. “Dean, I really don’t think you should talk about her that way.”
“What way?”
“It’s… not very respectful,” Castiel mumbled.
Dean laughed. “Oh, come on! She’s not the kind of girl you respect!”
“What?”
“Well, you know, there are women who are smart and strong, and you can have a conversation with. And then there are the women you have sex with. Tara belongs to the latter category.”
Castiel looked horrified. “Are you… is that what you actually believe?”
Dean shifted uncomfortably. “Oh, come on! I mean, it’s clear what the expectations are - we use each other for sex, and that’s it. I’m not gonna treat them all like princesses; if they want my respect they wouldn’t give it up so easily.”
“And how would you feel if some man was talking about your friend Jo that way?” Castiel said quietly.
“I’d rip their lungs out. But Jo’s not like that! She’s a classy girl, and she… she just wouldn’t do something like that.”
“So if women feel that they are entitled to enjoy sex, they deserve to be disrespected?”
“No! This has nothing to do with them being women. It’s not like I expect them to respect me. I don’t give a damn if they all discuss me behind my back too. It’s just that if you’re gonna sleep around, you should accept that you’re gonna be talked about like that.”
“And this is what you want to get me involved in.”
“Dude, you take things way too seriously. It’s fun! And this is what we’re supposed to be doing, while we’re still young.”
Castiel shook his head. “I am not all that concerned with what I’m supposed to be doing. What you’re describing sounds trivial.”
Dean couldn’t help but be riled by this. “Yeah, well, we can’t all be smart, you know. Maybe I am trivial. Maybe you should just-”
Castiel grabbed his wrist. “I didn’t say that you are trivial. You are very far from it. But being this way is… beneath you. You should have more respect for yourself instead of just throwing yourself away.”
Dean sighed. “Yeah, well, I guess we’ll just have to agree to disagree. Though I still think you’d change your mind if you actually, you know, experienced some of the stuff you’re sermonizing about.” He shot Cas a cheeky grin. “You sure you don’t want me to hook you up with Tara?”
Cas blushed and looked away. “Yes. It’s not that… I know you mean well, but I will have to decline. Girls aren’t really my… area.”
“Okay, okay. But don’t think for a minute that I’m gonna let you leave high school with your virginity intact.” He could see Sam approaching, so he gave Castiel a couple of pats on the knee and got up to go meet his little brother.
Dean had driven halfway home before it occurred to him what Castiel had said. Girls aren’t really my area. Oh. Did that mean Cas was…? Had Castiel just come out to him? Dean couldn’t be sure. After all, half of what Cas said wasn’t exactly clear at the best of times. He could have just meant that he was inexperienced and didn’t feel comfortable interacting with women in that way. But what if that wasn’t what he meant? What if he’d actually been telling Dean that he wasn’t interested in women full stop?
It made Dean feel… something. Not uncomfortable. He’d been brought up to believe that people like who they like. He’d had gay friends before, and it didn’t make any difference to him. But this felt different. God, what the hell did it make him feel? Because there was definitely something about the possibility of Castiel being gay that was… he didn’t even know. Dean hated trying to think about his feelings, he sucked at it. It was best not to even try. By the time they reached home, Dean had dismissed all thoughts of Castiel from his mind.
…
Dean always enjoyed driving Castiel home after their study sessions. He wasn’t sure why because it only took ten minutes and it wasn’t like they ever talked about anything much. It was just nice to be there together, just the two of them, no interruptions. He had never guarded a friendship as closely as this before. He remembered that when he was little he’d gotten territorial with Jo sometimes and would sulk if she played with anyone else, but he’d been a kid back then and he liked to think he’d grown out of his selfish phase a long time ago. He didn’t let it worry him too much; it was just some hangover from Cas saving his life. That was something that the two of them shared exclusively, and no outsiders could ever understand it or be part of it. Given a little time, Dean was sure he’d calm down about the whole thing.
“You can come in, if you want,” Castiel said to him as they pulled into his driveway. “Zachariah and Michael are away on business at present, so it’s only me and Anna at home.” He gave Dean a small, crooked smile. “I doubt that she’ll interrogate you about your religious beliefs.”
“Well… sure, Cas.”
“You don’t have to! I mean, I would understand if you’d rather not. It’s just that I’d like to repay you for your hospitality.”
Dean laughed. “Cas, I said I’d come in! It’s cool! And you don’t have to repay me shit, you know that.”
The house was just as dark and unwelcoming as Dean remembered, but he was comforted by the knowledge that Castiel’s creepy uncle and brother weren’t around. Loud music was coming from upstairs.
“Anna,” Castiel said. “She always takes advantage of Zachariah being away. He doesn’t approve of her tastes in music.”
Dean followed his friend to the back of the house along a corridor he hadn’t been down before, and they ended up in the kitchen. It was still gloomy, but the room was fitted with modern appliances and was the first real indication in the house that the Delacroix family had moved into the twenty-first century. Dean was a little relieved.
“Would you like a coffee?” Castiel asked.
“Sure. How come you never drink coffee?”
Castiel grimaced. “Oh… it doesn’t agree with me. I get jittery and hyperactive. I prefer to stick to tea.”
Dean made a mental note to spike the guy’s lunch with caffeine supplements at the first possible opportunity. A hyperactive Castiel was something he needed to see.
They had just sat down at the kitchen table with their mugs when Anna came in. She looked at Dean with surprise. “Oh! I didn’t know you had company, Castiel.”
“You remember Dean, Anna.”
“Of course. Castiel, if I go out tomorrow night, will you promise not to tell?”
Castiel shifted uncomfortably in his seat. “Anna, are you sure that’s a good idea? If something were to happen-”
“Nothing’s going to happen! I’m not an idiot! You just don’t want to lie.”
“Anna, your father is only trying to protect you, and-”
“Oh, don’t be such a damn sycophant, I know you resent him as much as I do. At least you have the option of getting out of here occasionally and, you know, meeting other people.”
“Well, perhaps if you didn’t defy him quite so openly he might agree to let you come to school as well.”
Anna scowled at him. “Sorry, Castiel, I’m not a hypocrite.”
Castiel blinked. “I… Dean, would you excuse me for a minute? I’ll fetch you that study guide I borrowed from the library. I think you’ll find it useful.” He got up and left.
“You know, that was kinda harsh,” Dean said.
Anna glared at him. “Do you have any idea what it’s like living here?”
“I can imagine, and personally I don’t blame you for wanting to get the hell out, but there’s no need to blame Cas. He’s a good guy.”
Anna sighed, scowling at the table top. “I know. But he’s a coward as well. He never stands up to either of them, and they never let us see the rest of the family. Do you know that Castiel hasn’t actually talked to his father in over a year? My dad takes all Uncle Manuel’s calls in his private office. Castiel won’t say anything. He just does whatever he’s told, and he won’t admit that he doesn’t agree with them most of the time, not even to me! And I know he hates it!” She sat down in the chair next to Dean. “Do you have any idea how much I would love to be allowed to go to school and meet other people? I feel like I’m going crazy in this house! But they won’t let me because I’m too rebellious, and they think an outside influence would be bad for me.” She laughed bitterly. “I know it’s awful, but I hate them. I do. Castiel’s the only one I can stand, and even he won’t ever stick up for me.”
Dean felt a little uncomfortable. Clearly Anna didn’t have any of Castiel’s reserve, and he wasn’t entirely sure whether his friend would be comfortable with him knowing any of this. “Anna, I… I’m sorry. You’re in a really crappy situation, but… but it’ll get better. I mean you’re what, sixteen? In a couple of years you can get the hell outta here, and they won’t be able to do a thing to stop it. This isn’t forever. And Cas… he’s just trying to do what’s right. That’s what he does.”
She gave him a small smile. “You’re nice, Dean. Castiel’s lucky to have you as a friend.”
Dean huffed a laugh. “I think most people’d see it as the other way round, but thank you. And, uh, if you ever need to talk…”
Dean’s next words died in his throat as Anna leaned in to kiss him. He was a little taken aback; he’d had no intention of kissing Anna. Still, his brain had been programmed to accept that when a pretty girl puts the moves on you, you let her. He kissed her back, his hands gently running through her hair.
Anna pulled away slowly, a strange look in her eyes. “You’re nice,” she whispered again.
It was then that Dean realized that Castiel had returned and was standing across the table from them. Dean pulled back guiltily. “Cas! I was just… it’s not… I didn’t mean to…”
“I kissed him,” Anna cut in.
It took Dean a moment to register that his Castiel was glaring at Anna and not at him, which he thought was a little weird. “Uh, Cas? I think I should go. I’ll see you at school.” He got up and left the kitchen. Castiel didn’t say anything; he was still staring at his cousin, and Dean was shocked by the look of hurt on his face.
Dean felt awful. He was fairly sure that Cas hadn’t meant repaying hospitality to include making out with family members. He was obviously protective over Anna, and now Dean had come along and… fuck. Cas was going to be mad at him now. It made Dean feel more anxious than he would have liked.
He’d just reached his car when he heard his name being called. He turned to see Castiel walking from the house towards him, wrapping his arms around himself against the cold.
“Cas, I’m really sorry,” Dean blurted out. “I never meant for that to happen. We were just talking, and then she leaned in and kissed me without warning, and I know I shouldn’t have kissed her back, but-”
“It’s fine,” Castiel interrupted, his teeth chattering a little. “I believe you. I’m not angry with you; Anna is not fragile and she’s more than capable of looking after herself.”
“Okay, but I… I didn’t mean to cause trouble. I’m really sorry.”
“Dean, I know. If anyone was trying to cause trouble, it’s her.”
“What do you mean?”
Castiel sighed, and he didn’t meet Dean’s eyes. “Anna’s… she’s very frustrated and very unhappy. This life isn’t for her. I’ve tried to explain to her that if she just plays by the rules then my uncle will be more inclined to make the same allowances for her that he has for me, but… she’s too tempestuous. She’s a good girl, but she’s…”
“Unhappy.”
“Yes. And she resents me because she thinks I’ve been given special treatment. She wants to get back at me, that’s all.”
“What do you mean?”
“Nothing, Dean. It’s nothing. Don’t feel bad about it. I’ll see you at school.”
Dean nodded. “Sure, Cas. See you later.”
Dean drove home in silence, not even bothering to turn the radio on. Something really weird was going on with Cas’s family. He couldn’t help but feel that there was something he was completely missing, but he couldn’t for the life of him figure out what it was. Not for the first time, he felt grateful that his own family were so comparatively normal.
Still, the important thing was that Castiel wasn’t angry with him. The thought made Dean instantly calmer. He just wished that he could get his friend out of that house. He wished that he could keep Cas with him.
A/N: I admit to wanting to punch Dean a few times writing this. He just wouldn't behave himself. It's a sad day when you realise you can't even get fictional versions of fictional characters to do what you want. I like to think he's got it all out of his system now and will behave better in future chapters :)
Chapter 6
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter - 5/?
Author - lafleurdumal85
Rating - NC-17
Summary - High school AU. It's Dean's senior year at Lawrence High, and he's already given up on himself. It takes the arrival of the strange, intense, awkward Castiel Delacroix at the school to prove to Dean that maybe his life is worth saving after all.
Chapter warnings - language, sexual references, Dean being an idiot
Spoilers - References to characters from seasons 1-6. Apart from that, it's completely AU.
“Cas, I’m sure I don’t have to-look, most people just get notes online or something. I don’t have to read the actual play.”
Castiel gave him a look that said Dean Winchester, I will end you. “I was under the impression that you wanted to pass English. You need to do these essays for extra credit, and for that you need to read the play. Or do you not care about any of this after all? Am I wasting my time?”
Dean scrunched his hair in his hands. His skin was hot and prickly, and he felt like he really, really needed to just kick something right about now. This whole tuition thing had been a horrible idea. For someone who came across so awkward and thoughtful, Castiel could be a real slave-driver when he wanted to be. Which was all the fucking time as far as Dean was concerned. He’d even drawn Dean a timetable to help him manage his studies, and he’d color-coded it because apparently scientific studies had proven that the human brain responded faster to color than it did to text. He’d made Dean hang it opposite his bed so that it was the first thing he saw when he opened his eyes in the morning. To think, Dean had thought Castiel had actually cared when he’d asked Dean about his out of school commitments. No, the sneaky bastard was just trying to plan how much of Dean’s life he could monopolize with this insane regime. Stupid Castiel with his stupid multi-colored sharpies. Dean would very much like to get hold of Castiel’s sharpies and-
“Dean! Focus!”
Dean let out a groan of frustration. “Look, I can’t, okay? We’ve already spent an hour on Physics, and now you expect me to read friggin’ Shakespeare?”
“We have to multi-task. The fact is that the only classes you’re okay with are Woodshop and Spanish, so we’ve really got to-”
“I know that, Cas, but… Shakespeare! I mean, this isn’t even English anymore! It’s… how the hell am I supposed to write an essay on this crap if I don’t even understand half the words?”
Castiel sighed wearily. “Okay. We can take a short break.”
“Thank you.” Dean took a long swig of the soda his mom had brought through earlier, and rested the can against his hot forehead. Castiel sat beside him in silence. “Hey, Cas?”
“Yes?”
“When do you do your work?”
“In study hall, and when I get home at night after evening prayer is over.”
Dean grimaced. “So you spend your whole life doing schoolwork? Dude.”
“It’s not like I have anything better to do.” Castiel gave a small shrug. “And I like coming here.”
Dean moistened his lips with the tip of his tongue. He guessed he really should try to keep in mind that Cas was doing him a huge favor with all of this and he should attempt to be a more agreeable student. “So… can I ask you something?”
“May I.”
“Huh?”
“Obviously you can ask me something as you have just done so. When requesting permission out of politeness you should say ‘may I’.”
Dean inhaled deeply, and valiantly resisted the urge to tip the remaining soda over his friend’s head. “Fine. I was just wondering… you remember that day out by the bleachers? You know, when Steve Pritchett was giving you a hard time and you…”
“Yes.”
“Well… how did you do that? I mean, Steve’s not the toughest guy but I’ve seen him hold his own, and you just… it was awesome, man! You floored him.”
Castiel looked amused. “I’ve practiced martial arts since I was a child. Judo, Ninjutso, Krav Maga… We all have, the children in my family. It helps to keep us focused, channel our energies in a healthy way. A discipline for both mind and body. I practice every morning before I go to school; it wakes me up. I’m not half as good as Michael though, he’s…” Castiel frowned. “I’m not really supposed to actually use it on people. Not in real life. It was only ever supposed to be a… a method of personal improvement. But that boy was very provoking, and… it wasn’t as if anyone else was going to stop him. I’m not proud of it.”
Dean was fully aware of the reprimand in this, and changed the subject. “So your whole family do it then?”
“Yes. Although Anna isn’t as keen on it as Michael and I.”
Dean thought of the sulky girl he’d briefly met at Castiel’s house, and felt another pang of sympathy for her. “Anna. That’s… I mean, it doesn’t sound like an angel name. Was she not-”
“Anna is short for Anael.” The corner of Castiel’s mouth twitched. “We’re all angels.”
“So… how big is your family exactly?”
Castiel’s brows knitted a little, and Dean felt that he really wasn’t entirely comfortable discussing family matters. Still, he couldn’t help his curiosity - Castiel’s home situation was unlike anything Dean had ever come across.
“There’s a lot of us,” Castiel told him, “though I haven’t seen many of them in years. It was better when I was younger and my father was still around. He kept the family together. But then he realized that his true calling was with the world at large, spreading God’s word, and… and we’ve all kind of drifted since then. My father still leaves his instructions, but it’s… I don’t know. When I was little we lived in Denver near my uncle Raphael. I wasn’t close to him - he was never the kind of man you could be close to - but I got on well with my cousin Balthazar. We played together a lot, but then I moved away with my Uncle Zachariah, and I haven’t seen Balthazar in over seven years.”
“And you… you never hung out with Michael, or-”
“Michael isn’t the type you ‘hang out’ with, Dean. He is my… my elder. My superior in many ways. He has always been better than me. Stronger, you know? His faith is pure and unwavering. I love him, but I’m not… close to him. I can’t be. And Anna is… she’s always been the baby of the family, and she’s rebellious. Her heart is not with the mission, and… and I try to help her, show her how she could find it easier, but… I don’t know.”
“So it’s just you and Michael then, who’re your dad’s kids.”
Castiel grimaced again. “Ah. No. There’s… I have another older brother, the eldest, but he left some years ago now. We haven’t heard from him since.”
The look on Castiel’s face made Dean feel like he shouldn’t push anymore. He felt bad now for sticking his nose into Castiel’s family life, and when Cas suggested that they get back to work Dean didn’t complain.
“Just read over the soliloquy a couple of times,” Castiel instructed. “Then talk to me about your impressions.”
Dean read in silence. “I… Cas, I can’t. I can’t write one thousand words on this! I don’t even understand the language!” He threw the book down in frustration.
“Dean, you’re allowing yourself to become distracted by the words. Don’t think about that. What is Hamlet actually saying here? What’s just happened?”
“Well, his dad was killed by his uncle, right? And now his uncle’s hooked up with his mom. And his dad’s ghost came back and told him to kill his uncle, but Hamlet doesn’t want to cause he’s chicken shit.”
“You… may wish to word it differently in your essay, but yes. And what is he saying here?”
“Well, he’s… he’s thinking about death. He’s thinking about whether it’d be better to face up to things or just give up. Right? And… and he’s… he doesn’t know what’s gonna happen. It’s like he’s stuck at a crossroads. He’s scared to do what he knows he should, but… but the other option isn’t exactly attractive either. He wants to take that leap, but he’s scared of what’ll happen if he does.”
“Good,” Castiel breathed. “Sound familiar?”
Dean scowled at him. “Dude, what did I tell you about psychoanalyzing me?”
“No, it’s good. You should use what you can identify with in the essay - it will make it yours. Shakespeare is ageless, Dean. Get past the barriers of the antiquated language and you’ll discover the universal themes of our existence. Uncertainty, betrayal, fear of the unknown, jealousy, anger, greed, love… That’s why these plays have stood the test of time. People can relate to them because they are about the human condition. Find out what the story means to you, then write about that.”
Dean shook his head. “Cas, I can’t just… I’m not smart like you are.”
“Dean, look at me. Look. You are not stupid, and you are more than capable of doing this.”
There was something about the way Castiel was looking at him that made Dean feel exposed. “How can you be so sure?”
The other boy gazed at him evenly. “Because I have faith in you.”
…
“Winchester. A word.”
Dean groaned inwardly. “Mr Henriksen?”
The math teacher waited until the other students had left the classroom, then looked up at Dean. “You’ll be pleased to know that you passed your trigonometry make-up test. It was good work, Winchester - a solid B-minus. You’re finally putting in the effort.”
Dean tried his best to hide how pleased he was. “Well, I… I had some help. A friend’s been tutoring me, so it’s-”
“Don’t sell yourself short.” Henriksen actually grinned. “Look, I know I’ve been riding you hard. I know you probably think I’m a jerk and that I should get off your case. But believe me, Dean, I wouldn’t be half as tough on you if I thought you weren’t capable of better things. I push you because I know you could do well, and there’s nothing I hate more than a talented kid giving up on himself. I’m glad you’re finally giving that brain of yours a chance.”
“Uh… yeah.” Dean wasn’t entirely sure how to respond. “Um… thanks, Mr Henriksen.”
“Okay, get out of here. And don’t be late next lesson.”
Dean walked quickly towards the cafeteria. He was back in the game as far as math was concerned, and he couldn’t wait to tell Cas. Cas, who had put up with Dean’s swearing and ranting while he’d studied for the test. His vows that he was doomed to failure. He never would have gotten through it if it wasn’t for Castiel.
“Hi, Dean.”
Dean stopped in his tracks and turned around to see Lisa Braeden leaning against her locker, smiling at him.
“Oh… hey, Lisa. What’s up?”
“I was just wondering if you wanted to do something tonight.” Her smile grew wider.
Dean swallowed. “What, you and me?”
She laughed. “Obviously. Matt and I broke up last week, and I really need someone to go to the new Robert Downey Jr. movie with. What do you say?” She took a step towards him, her smile indicating that she knew exactly what Dean would say.
The trouble was that Dean already had a study date booked with Castiel that evening. He’d barely scraped through his Chemistry test and there was still lots he needed to work on. On the other hand, Lisa was gorgeous, she was the head cheerleader, and best of all she wasn’t a prude. Surely Cas wouldn’t mind.
“Sure, Lisa. I’ll pick you up at seven.”
Dean walked into the cafeteria with a huge grin on his face, immediately honing in on where his friends were seated at the back. Dean was pleased to see that Castiel was with them. He used to spend his lunch times alone or with his associates from the Christian society, but lately he’d been spending more and more time with Dean and his friends. Dean wasn’t really surprised by how easily his gang had welcomed the new addition to their flock. After all, between Pam’s widely proclaimed psychic abilities, Ash’s computer hacking habit and Jo’s knife collection, none of them were exactly normal. True, Jo still stared at Castiel like he was some kind of space alien and Ash had found his complete ignorance of the Internet hilarious, but Dean could tell they accepted him. It was like an unspoken ‘welcome all outcasts’ rule.
Dean was genuinely pleased his friends liked Castiel, which made him wonder why it was that he sometimes felt jealous. Seeing Castiel engaging with other people, talking to them, smiling at them… It was weird. It wasn’t like Dean didn’t want the guy to spend time with other people, but he couldn’t get over this childish impulse to make sure that everyone knew Cas was his friend first and foremost. He… really didn’t want the other boy finding someone better and forgetting about Dean.
“Hey, Cas!” he called, throwing himself into the seat at the end of the table. “Guess who scored a B-minus in their trig make up test?”
Castiel was the only person Dean had ever met who could smile without actually moving his mouth. “Dean, that’s wonderful. I told you you could do it.”
“Thanks to you, man!” Dean slapped him on the shoulder and Castiel’s cheeks turned a little pink.
“It’s good to have you back, Dean,” Jo said, grinning at him. “Here.” She shoved a brown paper bag towards him. “My mom made you a BLT sandwich.”
“Joanna Beth, your mother is a wonderful woman.” Dean grabbed the sandwich out of the bag and took a large bite. “Hey, Cas?” he mumbled. “’m gonna have to cancel tonight. Something came up.”
Castiel’s brow puckered a little. “What’s happened?”
Dean swallowed. “Nothing. It’s just I have a date. Can we rearrange for Friday instead?”
Castiel’s face smoothed out so that he was completely expressionless. “I see.”
“It’s just that I don’t have anything big coming up right now, and I promise I’ll catch up over the weekend. And this girl’s really hot.”
Pam groaned. “Ugh, I bet it’s that Lisa again.”
“What’s wrong with Lisa?” Dean said defensively.
Jo gave him a stony look. “You mean little miss I’m-only-complete-when-I-have-a-man-on-my-arm? Hmm, let’s see…”
“Lisa’s cool!”
“Oh, you would say that,” Pam cut in. “Like guys ever have an issue with women who define themselves by who they’re dating. Dean, I think you’re being a little thoughtless here.”
“What? Oh, come on! Cas doesn’t mind, do you, Cas?”
“It’s up to you how you spend your time, Dean,” Castiel replied evenly, that blank expression still on his face.
“See? It’s fine!”
Pam was glaring at him like she was trying to tell him something, but Dean pretended not to see.
“Dean, you’re such a jerk sometimes!” Jo snapped at him.
“What the hell is your problem?”
“Ash,” Pam said. “As a man of superior cranial capacity, would you care to inform Dean that he’s acting like a douche?”
Ash held his hands up. “Sorry, ladies, I’m on team Winchester here. A hot chick asks you out, you drop everything.”
Pam and Jo made loud noises of disgust, Jo muttering something that sounded like “Men!”
…
Sam was waiting for Dean by his locker at the end of school and they made their way to the parking lot together.
“I dunno, man,” Dean sighed. “I don’t get why they were so mad at me! They know what I’m like by now. It was just that they seemed to think I was doing something wrong by Cas. But he said he was cool with it so I don’t see what the issue is! It’s only one night!”
“Maybe they just don’t like the girl.”
“Well they never did, but they didn’t act like this when I went out with her before! Anyway, enough about me. How’re things with you, short bus? Made contact with this Ruby chick yet?”
Sam scrunched up his face. “Not really. I talked to her a little in Math, but she was only half interested. Her friend Meg asked me out though.”
“Well hey, that’s progress! Is Meg cute?”
“I guess, but she makes out with everyone. She’s not really my type.”
“Hang on in there. She’ll come around to your charm. Just… just don’t start talking to her about dinosaurs, okay?”
“Hey, some people find dinosaurs really interesting!”
“Yeah, if they’re-”
“Sam!”
They both turned round to see a tiny blonde girl running across the parking lot towards them.
“Oh crap!” Sam hissed. “Get in the car, Dean. Get in the car and drive. We can pretend we didn’t hear!”
“Sammy, what the hell?”
“Oh god, it’s too late!”
The blonde girl had caught up with them. “Sam! Hey! I’ve been trying to talk to you all day! You’re really fast!”
“Hi, Becky,” Sam muttered, staring at his shoes.
“Hi, Sam.” Becky was the happiest looking person Dean had ever seen.
“So… what did you want to talk to me about?”
“Oh! Well, you didn’t get the itinerary for the next History Club meeting. I told Ava I’d give it to you! You know, I wanted to tell you that I really, really liked your presentation in Art yesterday. I never knew Michelangelo was gay! I wonder if anyone’s written any fanfiction. Anyway, your hair’s looking really good today. Oh hey! You must be Dean! Sam talks about you all the time. You’re totally his hero. Anyway, I have to go - I promised I’d meet Ava and Lori. I’ll see you tomorrow, Sam! I’ll save you a seat in English!” She ran off again.
Dean laughed. “Did… did she even pause for breath? Who the hell was that?”
“Becky Rosen,” Sam groaned. “She’s Ava’s friend. She… likes me.”
“No kidding! Well hey, she seemed nice, why don’t you go for it?”
“Um, because she’s insane? Seriously, Dean, can we just go home now?”
“What, you’re not gonna take my advice? I thought I was your hero.”
San colored. “I never said that, okay!”
“Shut up, I’m totally your hero.”
“God, Dean, you’re such a jerk!”
…
Castiel was unusually quiet during their study session on Friday.
“Is everything okay, dude?” Dean asked.
“Of course. How are you doing with the quiz?”
“Fine. It’s all going fine. Cas, are you sure you’re okay?”
“Yes. Did… did you have a good time last night?”
“Hm? Oh yeah, it was cool I guess.”
“Lisa is… she seems… she has… nice… hair.”
“Yeah, she’s a total babe. Plus, all that cheerleading makes her really flexible, if you know what I mean.”
“I think we should focus on studying right now,” Castiel said quietly.
…
“Dean, just think about it! Think how cool it’ll look!”
“Yeah, imagine the title: School Bad Boy Triumphs Over Death!”
Dean sighed wearily. Ed and Harry had been trying to get an exclusive interview with him about his accident for weeks, and they’d managed to catch up with him just after the final bell of the day had rung. The two of them ran the school paper and they were harmless enough most of the time. Harmless, except when you had a story they wanted, and then they were like some kind of fungal infection. Just when you thought you’d shaken them off, they popped right back up again.
“Look, guys, I really don’t wanna talk about it, okay? Why don’t you run along and find a new victim?”
“Dean!” Harry wheedled. “Come on, man! It’d do wonders for our circulation, and everyone’s been dying to know what really happened. You could set the record straight!”
“Guys, back off, okay? I’m not comfortable talking about it, and I-”
“But it’s the most interesting thing that’s happened at this school in years!”
“Dean has told you that he doesn’t wish to talk about it. I suggest you respect that.”
Dean turned around to see Castiel standing next to him, giving the two amateur journalists his very best death glare. Dean felt a little scared for them. Ed and Harry looked like they wanted to protest, but Castiel just stared and stared, and Dean knew from experience how unnerving it could be. Eventually they took the hint and backed away nervously.
“Thanks, man,” Dean sighed. “Those guys can be kinda persistent. I just… really don’t wanna talk about what happened.”
“Of course not.” Castiel moved closer to him so that their arms were pressed together. Dean supposed that this was Cas’s version of a pat on the back.
“Hey… I know we hadn’t arranged to study tonight or anything, but d’you wanna hang out?”
“Oh, I… I’m afraid I can’t tonight, Dean. We have a family meeting.”
“Oh. Well… that’s cool. I gotta hang around here for a bit longer to wait for my brother, so I guess I’ll see you tomorrow.”
“Dean, wait. I… can stay a little longer, if you’d like the company.”
Dean grinned, his spirits lifting. “Yeah, that’d be cool. It’d give us a chance to talk about something other than work. C’mon, we’ll go out to the car.”
Sam had Math Club on Tuesdays after school, so Dean had to wait an extra half-hour for him. He usually found this annoying, but as Castiel had decided to wait with him today he didn’t really mind. The two of them sat on the hood of Dean’s car, and Dean was trying to explain the merits of driving for fun to his friend (“but, Dean, don’t you find it confining?”), when they were approached by Tara Bury, a pretty brunette girl in Dean’s history class.
She smiled at Castiel. “Hi, Cas. You left your textbook in Mr Fitzgerald’s lab.” She handed Castiel the book, her smile widening.
Dean felt annoyed. He was the only one who was allowed to call Castiel ‘Cas’.
“Thank you,” Castiel said.
“No problem.” She was staring at him and smiling. “So… maybe I’ll see you around?”
Castiel glanced up at her. “We have three classes together so it’s likely.”
“Hi, Tara,” Dean said.
She gave him a frosty glare. “Dean.”
“How’ve you been?”
“Fine.” She pointedly turned away from him and smiled at Castiel again. “Well… I guess I’ll see you tomorrow then.”
Cas gave her a brief, perfunctory smile. “Yes. Thank you.”
When she walked away, Dean gave Castiel a hard nudge. “Dude, what the hell is wrong with you? She was totally giving you the come-on!”
“What?”
“She likes you! Man, you should go for it.”
“I… I don’t…” Castiel was looking thoroughly embarrassed now.
Dean looked at him. “What? You’ve had girlfriends before, right?”
“Not… exactly.”
“Oh. But… but you’ve done stuff, right?”
Castiel was staring determinedly at his shoes.
“Oh. Oh man. How is that even possible? I mean, you’ve got that whole mysterious, brooding thing going on, which chicks love. And you’re not, you know, unattractive. Were you waiting for a written invitation or something?”
“Dean, I’ve spent my whole life up until now only interacting with my family. Any, ah, romantic relationships would have involved some fairly controversial lifestyle choices.”
“Right. Yeah. Wow. Sorry, I… forgot.”
There was a long, awkward silence.
“You know, I could help you out.”
Castiel looked at him, shocked. “You could… what?”
“I could, you know, hook you up with some girls. I mean, you’re getting me through high school, it’s the least I could do. See, studying might not be my thing, but when it comes to this I am a world class expert.”
Castiel looked down again. “Oh. Um… that really won’t be necessary.”
“Oh come on, it’s really not that scary. And Tara’s perfect. She’s a cool girl, and a total vixen in the sack. I banged her a couple of times last year, and she’s not afraid to take charge. She’ll definitely show you the ropes.”
Castiel frowned. “Dean, I really don’t think you should talk about her that way.”
“What way?”
“It’s… not very respectful,” Castiel mumbled.
Dean laughed. “Oh, come on! She’s not the kind of girl you respect!”
“What?”
“Well, you know, there are women who are smart and strong, and you can have a conversation with. And then there are the women you have sex with. Tara belongs to the latter category.”
Castiel looked horrified. “Are you… is that what you actually believe?”
Dean shifted uncomfortably. “Oh, come on! I mean, it’s clear what the expectations are - we use each other for sex, and that’s it. I’m not gonna treat them all like princesses; if they want my respect they wouldn’t give it up so easily.”
“And how would you feel if some man was talking about your friend Jo that way?” Castiel said quietly.
“I’d rip their lungs out. But Jo’s not like that! She’s a classy girl, and she… she just wouldn’t do something like that.”
“So if women feel that they are entitled to enjoy sex, they deserve to be disrespected?”
“No! This has nothing to do with them being women. It’s not like I expect them to respect me. I don’t give a damn if they all discuss me behind my back too. It’s just that if you’re gonna sleep around, you should accept that you’re gonna be talked about like that.”
“And this is what you want to get me involved in.”
“Dude, you take things way too seriously. It’s fun! And this is what we’re supposed to be doing, while we’re still young.”
Castiel shook his head. “I am not all that concerned with what I’m supposed to be doing. What you’re describing sounds trivial.”
Dean couldn’t help but be riled by this. “Yeah, well, we can’t all be smart, you know. Maybe I am trivial. Maybe you should just-”
Castiel grabbed his wrist. “I didn’t say that you are trivial. You are very far from it. But being this way is… beneath you. You should have more respect for yourself instead of just throwing yourself away.”
Dean sighed. “Yeah, well, I guess we’ll just have to agree to disagree. Though I still think you’d change your mind if you actually, you know, experienced some of the stuff you’re sermonizing about.” He shot Cas a cheeky grin. “You sure you don’t want me to hook you up with Tara?”
Cas blushed and looked away. “Yes. It’s not that… I know you mean well, but I will have to decline. Girls aren’t really my… area.”
“Okay, okay. But don’t think for a minute that I’m gonna let you leave high school with your virginity intact.” He could see Sam approaching, so he gave Castiel a couple of pats on the knee and got up to go meet his little brother.
Dean had driven halfway home before it occurred to him what Castiel had said. Girls aren’t really my area. Oh. Did that mean Cas was…? Had Castiel just come out to him? Dean couldn’t be sure. After all, half of what Cas said wasn’t exactly clear at the best of times. He could have just meant that he was inexperienced and didn’t feel comfortable interacting with women in that way. But what if that wasn’t what he meant? What if he’d actually been telling Dean that he wasn’t interested in women full stop?
It made Dean feel… something. Not uncomfortable. He’d been brought up to believe that people like who they like. He’d had gay friends before, and it didn’t make any difference to him. But this felt different. God, what the hell did it make him feel? Because there was definitely something about the possibility of Castiel being gay that was… he didn’t even know. Dean hated trying to think about his feelings, he sucked at it. It was best not to even try. By the time they reached home, Dean had dismissed all thoughts of Castiel from his mind.
…
Dean always enjoyed driving Castiel home after their study sessions. He wasn’t sure why because it only took ten minutes and it wasn’t like they ever talked about anything much. It was just nice to be there together, just the two of them, no interruptions. He had never guarded a friendship as closely as this before. He remembered that when he was little he’d gotten territorial with Jo sometimes and would sulk if she played with anyone else, but he’d been a kid back then and he liked to think he’d grown out of his selfish phase a long time ago. He didn’t let it worry him too much; it was just some hangover from Cas saving his life. That was something that the two of them shared exclusively, and no outsiders could ever understand it or be part of it. Given a little time, Dean was sure he’d calm down about the whole thing.
“You can come in, if you want,” Castiel said to him as they pulled into his driveway. “Zachariah and Michael are away on business at present, so it’s only me and Anna at home.” He gave Dean a small, crooked smile. “I doubt that she’ll interrogate you about your religious beliefs.”
“Well… sure, Cas.”
“You don’t have to! I mean, I would understand if you’d rather not. It’s just that I’d like to repay you for your hospitality.”
Dean laughed. “Cas, I said I’d come in! It’s cool! And you don’t have to repay me shit, you know that.”
The house was just as dark and unwelcoming as Dean remembered, but he was comforted by the knowledge that Castiel’s creepy uncle and brother weren’t around. Loud music was coming from upstairs.
“Anna,” Castiel said. “She always takes advantage of Zachariah being away. He doesn’t approve of her tastes in music.”
Dean followed his friend to the back of the house along a corridor he hadn’t been down before, and they ended up in the kitchen. It was still gloomy, but the room was fitted with modern appliances and was the first real indication in the house that the Delacroix family had moved into the twenty-first century. Dean was a little relieved.
“Would you like a coffee?” Castiel asked.
“Sure. How come you never drink coffee?”
Castiel grimaced. “Oh… it doesn’t agree with me. I get jittery and hyperactive. I prefer to stick to tea.”
Dean made a mental note to spike the guy’s lunch with caffeine supplements at the first possible opportunity. A hyperactive Castiel was something he needed to see.
They had just sat down at the kitchen table with their mugs when Anna came in. She looked at Dean with surprise. “Oh! I didn’t know you had company, Castiel.”
“You remember Dean, Anna.”
“Of course. Castiel, if I go out tomorrow night, will you promise not to tell?”
Castiel shifted uncomfortably in his seat. “Anna, are you sure that’s a good idea? If something were to happen-”
“Nothing’s going to happen! I’m not an idiot! You just don’t want to lie.”
“Anna, your father is only trying to protect you, and-”
“Oh, don’t be such a damn sycophant, I know you resent him as much as I do. At least you have the option of getting out of here occasionally and, you know, meeting other people.”
“Well, perhaps if you didn’t defy him quite so openly he might agree to let you come to school as well.”
Anna scowled at him. “Sorry, Castiel, I’m not a hypocrite.”
Castiel blinked. “I… Dean, would you excuse me for a minute? I’ll fetch you that study guide I borrowed from the library. I think you’ll find it useful.” He got up and left.
“You know, that was kinda harsh,” Dean said.
Anna glared at him. “Do you have any idea what it’s like living here?”
“I can imagine, and personally I don’t blame you for wanting to get the hell out, but there’s no need to blame Cas. He’s a good guy.”
Anna sighed, scowling at the table top. “I know. But he’s a coward as well. He never stands up to either of them, and they never let us see the rest of the family. Do you know that Castiel hasn’t actually talked to his father in over a year? My dad takes all Uncle Manuel’s calls in his private office. Castiel won’t say anything. He just does whatever he’s told, and he won’t admit that he doesn’t agree with them most of the time, not even to me! And I know he hates it!” She sat down in the chair next to Dean. “Do you have any idea how much I would love to be allowed to go to school and meet other people? I feel like I’m going crazy in this house! But they won’t let me because I’m too rebellious, and they think an outside influence would be bad for me.” She laughed bitterly. “I know it’s awful, but I hate them. I do. Castiel’s the only one I can stand, and even he won’t ever stick up for me.”
Dean felt a little uncomfortable. Clearly Anna didn’t have any of Castiel’s reserve, and he wasn’t entirely sure whether his friend would be comfortable with him knowing any of this. “Anna, I… I’m sorry. You’re in a really crappy situation, but… but it’ll get better. I mean you’re what, sixteen? In a couple of years you can get the hell outta here, and they won’t be able to do a thing to stop it. This isn’t forever. And Cas… he’s just trying to do what’s right. That’s what he does.”
She gave him a small smile. “You’re nice, Dean. Castiel’s lucky to have you as a friend.”
Dean huffed a laugh. “I think most people’d see it as the other way round, but thank you. And, uh, if you ever need to talk…”
Dean’s next words died in his throat as Anna leaned in to kiss him. He was a little taken aback; he’d had no intention of kissing Anna. Still, his brain had been programmed to accept that when a pretty girl puts the moves on you, you let her. He kissed her back, his hands gently running through her hair.
Anna pulled away slowly, a strange look in her eyes. “You’re nice,” she whispered again.
It was then that Dean realized that Castiel had returned and was standing across the table from them. Dean pulled back guiltily. “Cas! I was just… it’s not… I didn’t mean to…”
“I kissed him,” Anna cut in.
It took Dean a moment to register that his Castiel was glaring at Anna and not at him, which he thought was a little weird. “Uh, Cas? I think I should go. I’ll see you at school.” He got up and left the kitchen. Castiel didn’t say anything; he was still staring at his cousin, and Dean was shocked by the look of hurt on his face.
Dean felt awful. He was fairly sure that Cas hadn’t meant repaying hospitality to include making out with family members. He was obviously protective over Anna, and now Dean had come along and… fuck. Cas was going to be mad at him now. It made Dean feel more anxious than he would have liked.
He’d just reached his car when he heard his name being called. He turned to see Castiel walking from the house towards him, wrapping his arms around himself against the cold.
“Cas, I’m really sorry,” Dean blurted out. “I never meant for that to happen. We were just talking, and then she leaned in and kissed me without warning, and I know I shouldn’t have kissed her back, but-”
“It’s fine,” Castiel interrupted, his teeth chattering a little. “I believe you. I’m not angry with you; Anna is not fragile and she’s more than capable of looking after herself.”
“Okay, but I… I didn’t mean to cause trouble. I’m really sorry.”
“Dean, I know. If anyone was trying to cause trouble, it’s her.”
“What do you mean?”
Castiel sighed, and he didn’t meet Dean’s eyes. “Anna’s… she’s very frustrated and very unhappy. This life isn’t for her. I’ve tried to explain to her that if she just plays by the rules then my uncle will be more inclined to make the same allowances for her that he has for me, but… she’s too tempestuous. She’s a good girl, but she’s…”
“Unhappy.”
“Yes. And she resents me because she thinks I’ve been given special treatment. She wants to get back at me, that’s all.”
“What do you mean?”
“Nothing, Dean. It’s nothing. Don’t feel bad about it. I’ll see you at school.”
Dean nodded. “Sure, Cas. See you later.”
Dean drove home in silence, not even bothering to turn the radio on. Something really weird was going on with Cas’s family. He couldn’t help but feel that there was something he was completely missing, but he couldn’t for the life of him figure out what it was. Not for the first time, he felt grateful that his own family were so comparatively normal.
Still, the important thing was that Castiel wasn’t angry with him. The thought made Dean instantly calmer. He just wished that he could get his friend out of that house. He wished that he could keep Cas with him.
A/N: I admit to wanting to punch Dean a few times writing this. He just wouldn't behave himself. It's a sad day when you realise you can't even get fictional versions of fictional characters to do what you want. I like to think he's got it all out of his system now and will behave better in future chapters :)
Chapter 6
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4