It's My Life
I was given the suggestion that I should start writing a journal again. For me it's a lot easier to type and doing it on live journal has its perks. I can do it at work and no one knows me really except for some of you who have been kind enough to stick around for years reading my entries. I started writing on myspace to update my friends and family who see me every once in awhile. I deleted that recently because I felt like they were starting to know too much. Sometimes I don't know that it's ok for everyone to know your business. Live journal is different for me because for the most part no one i know, knows about it. Well the people i do know I don't mind reading it.
Just recently I broke up with my boyfriend. It was two weeks ago and it's been quite the rollercoaster ride. I'm sure that this is going to be an annoying journal for the next few weeks as I have been up and down and all around on where we stand. He's done some things that by all standards are un-forgivable... but I still love him. I'm sure I'll sound stupid in between my profound revelations but this time I'm going to write it all out. Every time I need to get it out... I will. Regardless.
I've been needing to vent without repercussions. When you bounce things off people you're going to get a standard response. Ok... so it seems maybe i should do a private journal... but that's not my style. I'm trying to get back to me. I think this is going to help.
Since Stefan, I've been attempting to get help. I went to a psychologist because it seemed that I may have more issues than I thought... since the break up with my 6 year relationship with James 2 years... things haven't been the same for me. I was diagnosed with being bipolar with a "mode" of borderline in relationships. Not to mention my abandonment issues. They put me on mood altering meds which so far have helped a bit. They make me not feel so... overwhelmed... one way or the other. I have had no grey area. Only black and white. Extremely happy, extremely sad.
I'm hoping that my writing will get me through. It's going to be a journey back to myself... or to finding myself. I just watched a movie "It had to be you"... ok it wasn't that good despite the fact that my TV lover from alias Michael Vartan was in it... but he made a good point... Sometimes if you write about a tragic experience it helps you to heal. SO with that said... this journal will now serve to help me heal :)
Just recently I broke up with my boyfriend. It was two weeks ago and it's been quite the rollercoaster ride. I'm sure that this is going to be an annoying journal for the next few weeks as I have been up and down and all around on where we stand. He's done some things that by all standards are un-forgivable... but I still love him. I'm sure I'll sound stupid in between my profound revelations but this time I'm going to write it all out. Every time I need to get it out... I will. Regardless.
I've been needing to vent without repercussions. When you bounce things off people you're going to get a standard response. Ok... so it seems maybe i should do a private journal... but that's not my style. I'm trying to get back to me. I think this is going to help.
Since Stefan, I've been attempting to get help. I went to a psychologist because it seemed that I may have more issues than I thought... since the break up with my 6 year relationship with James 2 years... things haven't been the same for me. I was diagnosed with being bipolar with a "mode" of borderline in relationships. Not to mention my abandonment issues. They put me on mood altering meds which so far have helped a bit. They make me not feel so... overwhelmed... one way or the other. I have had no grey area. Only black and white. Extremely happy, extremely sad.
I'm hoping that my writing will get me through. It's going to be a journey back to myself... or to finding myself. I just watched a movie "It had to be you"... ok it wasn't that good despite the fact that my TV lover from alias Michael Vartan was in it... but he made a good point... Sometimes if you write about a tragic experience it helps you to heal. SO with that said... this journal will now serve to help me heal :)