(no subject)
It's been a long time since I wrote on here. I don't know if anyone will be reading this or not and I don't really care, I just need to vent.
It has occurred to me that my relatives haven't got a clue. I'm waiting for the day that I break. I know I'm not really one to rebel or speak up when somethings upsetting me, but I feel like I might just explode one of these days. I'll feel really bad about it but at the same time I'd feel great. Especially if I explode at some of my relatives out here. All they ever do is nag me about getting married. I'm so sick of it. The reason I'm sick of the nagging is that all it does is depress me and make me feel desperate. The thing about that is no one wants a desperate girl...or guy. If all you ever think is I'm alone, and you're practically begging people to be with you, all you're doing is driving them away.
I start to get better and feel confident with where my life is going and then somebody asks, so do you have a boyfriend yet? or were you with someone since you weren't at your aunt's for thanksgiving....she didn't say that, but I know it was implied. It's like a big joke to them. They don't even realize how damaging it is.
Yes. I want desperately to be with someone. Yes. I want to get married someday, and yes. I want to be a mother someday, but it's really hard to find someone that reciprocates my feelings. I know that I'm a unique individual, simply because I'm a woman, a gamer, a blonde, and a Mormon. I don't fit into any stereotype, and I can't stand stupid people, so obviously I'm not a dumb blonde. I'm a woman, but I don't behave completely like a modern woman, I'm not into doing my hair, and makeup(although I apparently need to be), I don't dress cutesy, and I've abstained from sex until I get married(that's where the Mormon comes in). I'm a gamer girl, I see the world differently because I've learned you don't judge a book by its cover. I also know, things are not always as they seem. I know what its like to not be in the popular crowd.
I just want to feel happy with where I am and just continue to move forward without someone constantly reminding me how FREAKING SINGLE I AM!!!! This is the real reason that I've been avoiding my relatives out here....because they constantly remind me, and don't understand how much it actually hurts when they say stuff like that....I wish I could just tell them to be quiet and leave the topic alone. I probably will...when it finally gets to be too much.
It has occurred to me that my relatives haven't got a clue. I'm waiting for the day that I break. I know I'm not really one to rebel or speak up when somethings upsetting me, but I feel like I might just explode one of these days. I'll feel really bad about it but at the same time I'd feel great. Especially if I explode at some of my relatives out here. All they ever do is nag me about getting married. I'm so sick of it. The reason I'm sick of the nagging is that all it does is depress me and make me feel desperate. The thing about that is no one wants a desperate girl...or guy. If all you ever think is I'm alone, and you're practically begging people to be with you, all you're doing is driving them away.
I start to get better and feel confident with where my life is going and then somebody asks, so do you have a boyfriend yet? or were you with someone since you weren't at your aunt's for thanksgiving....she didn't say that, but I know it was implied. It's like a big joke to them. They don't even realize how damaging it is.
Yes. I want desperately to be with someone. Yes. I want to get married someday, and yes. I want to be a mother someday, but it's really hard to find someone that reciprocates my feelings. I know that I'm a unique individual, simply because I'm a woman, a gamer, a blonde, and a Mormon. I don't fit into any stereotype, and I can't stand stupid people, so obviously I'm not a dumb blonde. I'm a woman, but I don't behave completely like a modern woman, I'm not into doing my hair, and makeup(although I apparently need to be), I don't dress cutesy, and I've abstained from sex until I get married(that's where the Mormon comes in). I'm a gamer girl, I see the world differently because I've learned you don't judge a book by its cover. I also know, things are not always as they seem. I know what its like to not be in the popular crowd.
I just want to feel happy with where I am and just continue to move forward without someone constantly reminding me how FREAKING SINGLE I AM!!!! This is the real reason that I've been avoiding my relatives out here....because they constantly remind me, and don't understand how much it actually hurts when they say stuff like that....I wish I could just tell them to be quiet and leave the topic alone. I probably will...when it finally gets to be too much.