If you'd believe it
I actually had a good weekend. I'm not exactly sure how it happened but, there you have it. It wasn't great though; nothing can be great right now. I think maybe some people may see me as being melodramatic but my family is extremely extended and tight, all at the same time. So we're all going on like the walking wounded. Die came up wednesday night, for the W13 show that was thursday night, and stayed for the rest of the weekend; I just saw her off to the airport and the reality of my uncle being gone hit me all over again. I'm frustrated because I was doing so well, even though I know that my feeling this way is completely natural. I had nice distractions from wed. night on and now it's time to return to the real world...where nothing actually feels real at all. My mom told me that she knew she still had a lot of things to do in life but that, right now, she didn't really feel alive. At the very instant she said that, I'll admit that I didn't understand. And then it hit me a day or so later because that's exactly how I feel right now. Not necessarily numb because, believe me, I'm in pain. But I feel almost the way I did when I was on Zoloft about everything else; like I'm living life in a plastic bubble and time passes as if in a dream. I'm honestly waiting to wake up! :(
Getting back to the weekend, yeah, it was good. I took wed-fri off so I got to have a 5 day weekend. A bit of recovery time from the madness. Chris and Die got along alright at the W13 show, a show which was aces despite the fact that Wednesday was in a shitload of pain. *pets him* I really couldn't enjoy it because of that, knowing that he was doing it just for us but not really able to get into it himself. *sigh* Acey was there and Tom, who was there too, introduced us all to him. It was nice to have a formal meeting outside of me crashing into him on the way to the loo, or him practically running over me to get to the bar, as I pet his head. >_> Moo. Can I just say that he's the sweetest thing ever?! He really is. We all had a good laugh and cuddle over Tom's drunken ass trying to work the camera. *facepalm* Goodtimes and I'm glad, seeing as how we had to hustle to fucking Bk to see this show (btw, venue was hella small). Mama Trash never showed up like she threatened but it's not like we expected her to; that bitch is all bark and no bite, lol. Even if she did bite, do I look like the kind of chick to care/be afraid? Meh.
Die passed on the EA virus and I'm not sure how I feel about it. She won't get out of my head. There's one song that just...ugh, details exactly how I feel about certain things in my life right now. I want one thing, one very realistic thing, and it's slowly killing me. I'm about to jump in, head first, and hope I don't destroy myself in the process. But that's enough of that.
Chris took tues. off of work so she could stay with my family for most of the wake as I had to work. We all benefitted from her being there though, naturally, me the most. My bro and co had come up for the weekend to visit my uncle; no one knew things were going to turn out this bad. So they wound up not leaving until after the cremation which was wed. Unfortunately, we do live in the ghetto and someone broke into his car on sunday morning, stealing the gps. Come on, people! They were even parked in front of a church! Lol. I tell you, you gotta suck it up and laugh, being thankful that it wasn't much worse when you live in this city. It's not that horrendous though shit like this makes people think it is.
I don't want to go back to work tomorrow but, you know, whatever. *sigh* I really don't give a shit anymore.
♥ to MD
P.S. THANKS TO ALL OF YOU WHO THOUGHT TO DROP ME A LINE. I REALLY NEEDED THAT AND APPRECIATE IT MORE THAN WORDS CAN SAY. *hug*
Getting back to the weekend, yeah, it was good. I took wed-fri off so I got to have a 5 day weekend. A bit of recovery time from the madness. Chris and Die got along alright at the W13 show, a show which was aces despite the fact that Wednesday was in a shitload of pain. *pets him* I really couldn't enjoy it because of that, knowing that he was doing it just for us but not really able to get into it himself. *sigh* Acey was there and Tom, who was there too, introduced us all to him. It was nice to have a formal meeting outside of me crashing into him on the way to the loo, or him practically running over me to get to the bar, as I pet his head. >_> Moo. Can I just say that he's the sweetest thing ever?! He really is. We all had a good laugh and cuddle over Tom's drunken ass trying to work the camera. *facepalm* Goodtimes and I'm glad, seeing as how we had to hustle to fucking Bk to see this show (btw, venue was hella small). Mama Trash never showed up like she threatened but it's not like we expected her to; that bitch is all bark and no bite, lol. Even if she did bite, do I look like the kind of chick to care/be afraid? Meh.
Die passed on the EA virus and I'm not sure how I feel about it. She won't get out of my head. There's one song that just...ugh, details exactly how I feel about certain things in my life right now. I want one thing, one very realistic thing, and it's slowly killing me. I'm about to jump in, head first, and hope I don't destroy myself in the process. But that's enough of that.
Chris took tues. off of work so she could stay with my family for most of the wake as I had to work. We all benefitted from her being there though, naturally, me the most. My bro and co had come up for the weekend to visit my uncle; no one knew things were going to turn out this bad. So they wound up not leaving until after the cremation which was wed. Unfortunately, we do live in the ghetto and someone broke into his car on sunday morning, stealing the gps. Come on, people! They were even parked in front of a church! Lol. I tell you, you gotta suck it up and laugh, being thankful that it wasn't much worse when you live in this city. It's not that horrendous though shit like this makes people think it is.
I don't want to go back to work tomorrow but, you know, whatever. *sigh* I really don't give a shit anymore.
♥ to MD
P.S. THANKS TO ALL OF YOU WHO THOUGHT TO DROP ME A LINE. I REALLY NEEDED THAT AND APPRECIATE IT MORE THAN WORDS CAN SAY. *hug*