To My Friends...
In the past week I have received at least five phone calls from people who say they never talk to me anymore. They told me that I should call them more often and that we should hang out. To all of you who called and told me those things, I couldn't agree with you more. The past month or so is a total blur. I've always known that I'm busy, but I didn't realize just HOW busy until I received those phone calls. I'm not going to make a desperate attempt to explain myself. I'm not going to make excuses. I've tried that and I always end up sounding like the jerk that I am.
But I will say this...
I have made mistakes this past month. More than I usually do. I have invested time in new people and new things. I don't regret expanding my friend base and trying new things. But I do regret not making time for old friends. In my desperate attempt to find someone here to understand me, to care about me, to spend time with me, I have neglected to remember my friends who taught me how to love in the first place. I have cut phone calls short because I've been busy hanging out with my "college friends". I have skipped meals with my friends because I've been busy getting to know the people in my FLC. I have skipped study sessions just so I could hang out with my roommates and bake cakes.
I'm not going to lie. I have thoroughly enjoyed all of those things. And I most certainly have the right to enjoy those things. But I most certainly do NOT have the right to ignore the people who have been there for me time and time again. I have no right to think that my old friends won't mind if I don't call them. I can't lose my old friendships. I am going to continue to forge new friendships and hang out with new people. But I am going to make more time for the people who really know me--who ALREADY get me. I'm going to make more time to be there for the people who need me. I want to know what's going in everyone's lives. I want to be able to help when I can.
To those of you who I have ignored, neglected, or made feel unimportant, I'm sorry. I love you very much. I'm going to try my best to make time for new friends and old friends alike. I haven't forgotten about anyone. And although I might not express it, I DO miss you all. I want to be able to share my new experiences with the people I love. I want them to feel like they can do the same. I want people to know that I still care--I still deeply care. I guess what I'm trying to say is, let me have fun. Let me have new experiences. Let me be busy. But don't let me get away with not returning phone calls. Don't let me get away with cancelling plans. Call me out. Give me crap. Tell me I'm being a jerk and I'm forgetting to make time for you. I need you all. You know who you are. I want these friendships... I need these friendships now more than ever...
To my friends...
I love you.
But I will say this...
I have made mistakes this past month. More than I usually do. I have invested time in new people and new things. I don't regret expanding my friend base and trying new things. But I do regret not making time for old friends. In my desperate attempt to find someone here to understand me, to care about me, to spend time with me, I have neglected to remember my friends who taught me how to love in the first place. I have cut phone calls short because I've been busy hanging out with my "college friends". I have skipped meals with my friends because I've been busy getting to know the people in my FLC. I have skipped study sessions just so I could hang out with my roommates and bake cakes.
I'm not going to lie. I have thoroughly enjoyed all of those things. And I most certainly have the right to enjoy those things. But I most certainly do NOT have the right to ignore the people who have been there for me time and time again. I have no right to think that my old friends won't mind if I don't call them. I can't lose my old friendships. I am going to continue to forge new friendships and hang out with new people. But I am going to make more time for the people who really know me--who ALREADY get me. I'm going to make more time to be there for the people who need me. I want to know what's going in everyone's lives. I want to be able to help when I can.
To those of you who I have ignored, neglected, or made feel unimportant, I'm sorry. I love you very much. I'm going to try my best to make time for new friends and old friends alike. I haven't forgotten about anyone. And although I might not express it, I DO miss you all. I want to be able to share my new experiences with the people I love. I want them to feel like they can do the same. I want people to know that I still care--I still deeply care. I guess what I'm trying to say is, let me have fun. Let me have new experiences. Let me be busy. But don't let me get away with not returning phone calls. Don't let me get away with cancelling plans. Call me out. Give me crap. Tell me I'm being a jerk and I'm forgetting to make time for you. I need you all. You know who you are. I want these friendships... I need these friendships now more than ever...
To my friends...
I love you.