Can't Sleep
I've been having trouble falling asleep lately, more than usual. I tend to think when I lie down to go to bed. I think it's because I feel like it's the only time of day when I really get to actually stop and think which is not a good thing. I have really have trouble clearing my head when I think I'm ready or want to go to bed. It's not that I want to take that time to think; I really don't, I really wanna go to sleep. I can't help it. It's just that in that position where I can just relax and know the only thing I have left to do for the day is sleep, for some reason, that is when my mind is able to let go and it wants to unscramble everything then instead of during a more appropriate time.
Soooooo, I'm going to try blogging every day, most likely every night before I try to go to bed, to try to clear some thoughts out in hopes of getting some better rest.
Well, I managed to get a lot of things accomplished or, at least, started this week except for the most important thing. I need to find a lawyer and get crackin' on the legal aspects of losing my mom. Unfortunately, I'm feeling pressure from my brother, indirectly, because I have to get on top of everything before he does so that he doesn't try to take over everything. Luckily, my dad is working this out with me and agrees with my ideas and what I think we should do. I am not looking forward to all of this, but it needs to be done and ASAP. But, I think the hardest part will be finding a lawyer that will be sincere and really help me work this out.
I was thinking today about how I feel about my mom leaving and how I'm dealing with it, and I think only time will really help -- however obvious that should be, whatever. We're going to Minnesota on April 5th and burying my mom on the Sunday the 6th. It will be interesting to see how I feel after it all. I don't know if it will help me move through the mourning process a little quicker or start it all over again. I quite often thought about the coming of these days, but never really believed how soon it could come or that it actually really would so soon. I don't know if any of that mental preparation did any good or not. It's all... so much...
I would say, though, that I am doing pretty well with all things considered. However, I don't know if that's actually a good thing. Know what I mean? Yah... meh.
There was something else that I wanted to blog but, of course, I can't remember what it was.
Yah, there's a really annoying bug flying around in the room, and I'm thirsty for something with a little sugar.....
Hopefully, now, I can lie down and comfortably fall asleep in good time.
Real quick, a list of things for tomorrow::
-ask Dennis to wash bottles in the morning
-wake him early enough for him to do it
-reschedule vet appt.
-call waste management
-RESEARCH LAWYERS!!!!!
K, I finally feel a bit better and maybe ready for bed. Thanks.
<3.
Soooooo, I'm going to try blogging every day, most likely every night before I try to go to bed, to try to clear some thoughts out in hopes of getting some better rest.
Well, I managed to get a lot of things accomplished or, at least, started this week except for the most important thing. I need to find a lawyer and get crackin' on the legal aspects of losing my mom. Unfortunately, I'm feeling pressure from my brother, indirectly, because I have to get on top of everything before he does so that he doesn't try to take over everything. Luckily, my dad is working this out with me and agrees with my ideas and what I think we should do. I am not looking forward to all of this, but it needs to be done and ASAP. But, I think the hardest part will be finding a lawyer that will be sincere and really help me work this out.
I was thinking today about how I feel about my mom leaving and how I'm dealing with it, and I think only time will really help -- however obvious that should be, whatever. We're going to Minnesota on April 5th and burying my mom on the Sunday the 6th. It will be interesting to see how I feel after it all. I don't know if it will help me move through the mourning process a little quicker or start it all over again. I quite often thought about the coming of these days, but never really believed how soon it could come or that it actually really would so soon. I don't know if any of that mental preparation did any good or not. It's all... so much...
I would say, though, that I am doing pretty well with all things considered. However, I don't know if that's actually a good thing. Know what I mean? Yah... meh.
There was something else that I wanted to blog but, of course, I can't remember what it was.
Yah, there's a really annoying bug flying around in the room, and I'm thirsty for something with a little sugar.....
Hopefully, now, I can lie down and comfortably fall asleep in good time.
Real quick, a list of things for tomorrow::
-ask Dennis to wash bottles in the morning
-wake him early enough for him to do it
-reschedule vet appt.
-call waste management
-RESEARCH LAWYERS!!!!!
K, I finally feel a bit better and maybe ready for bed. Thanks.
<3.