(no subject)
Since the last time I updated here, a lot of things happened... So many things that I don't remember half of them. But they're improving, slowly. I went to see a doctor because I wasn't eating and now I'm way better, I'm still taking meds but I'm better, most from the inside, because that was the most important. Although sometimes I feel it coming again, I do everything not to fall in.
I think that until the summer vacation, I'll have moved from here, still staying in Paris, but in a bigger appartment. I wish we went away from France, but I can dream on. I know that I will go away soon, as soon as I graduate that horrible high school.
Talking about it, I'm so sick of it! My best friend said me "when you're here, you crack down after a month". I didn't really believe her, but actually she wasn't totally right because I cracked down after a week. 7 days. Only seven little days! If I just knew what was waiting for me, I wouldn't have choosed to go there. It's just like a cage with lions, all ready to jump on you and kill you. I feel like it, for the teachers point. The most horrible one is my english one. She hates me and I can say that I feel the same for her. She made me go to tears one day, not so long ago. I'm quite ashamed when I think about it because I think I wasn't strong enough and I should have told her everything I had in the mind. I told her part of it, but not all. But it didn't make her stop, not at all, I just feel like it gave her power, to put me down even more. But I don't care about her any longer, I just do my work, she doesn't help me with my english and I'm not going to say that she makes me improve either. I'll never be grateful for anything to her. And this is the first teacher I won't be. I had a lot of real jerks, perverts and i forget some, but I get only good memories about them and I remember things that they gave me. When I think about her, nothing comes to my mind but pain, anger. When she looks at me with her little viscious eyes and her small smile, that means everything. I beg God not to become like her when I get older!
I need to see the Polar Express, just to see Steven! I'm sure I'm going there alone in the end, my friend can't anytime when it's in English... Going to the cinema alone sucks, but for steven I'll do anything...
I think that until the summer vacation, I'll have moved from here, still staying in Paris, but in a bigger appartment. I wish we went away from France, but I can dream on. I know that I will go away soon, as soon as I graduate that horrible high school.
Talking about it, I'm so sick of it! My best friend said me "when you're here, you crack down after a month". I didn't really believe her, but actually she wasn't totally right because I cracked down after a week. 7 days. Only seven little days! If I just knew what was waiting for me, I wouldn't have choosed to go there. It's just like a cage with lions, all ready to jump on you and kill you. I feel like it, for the teachers point. The most horrible one is my english one. She hates me and I can say that I feel the same for her. She made me go to tears one day, not so long ago. I'm quite ashamed when I think about it because I think I wasn't strong enough and I should have told her everything I had in the mind. I told her part of it, but not all. But it didn't make her stop, not at all, I just feel like it gave her power, to put me down even more. But I don't care about her any longer, I just do my work, she doesn't help me with my english and I'm not going to say that she makes me improve either. I'll never be grateful for anything to her. And this is the first teacher I won't be. I had a lot of real jerks, perverts and i forget some, but I get only good memories about them and I remember things that they gave me. When I think about her, nothing comes to my mind but pain, anger. When she looks at me with her little viscious eyes and her small smile, that means everything. I beg God not to become like her when I get older!
I need to see the Polar Express, just to see Steven! I'm sure I'm going there alone in the end, my friend can't anytime when it's in English... Going to the cinema alone sucks, but for steven I'll do anything...