the sound you hear is the sound of my impostor syndrome shattering to bits

[laeria]

I mean, I've no doubt it will reassemble itself soonish, but at the moment UNI IS WONDERFUL, MY SHORT STUPID RESEARCH PAPER IS WONDERFUL and I AM EVEN MORE WONDERFUL, so, to celebrate that, let's do that meme!

Comments

[thornyrose42]

See before I clicked the cut I thought you were asking us questions. Then I clicked the link and thought: 'That is a lot of questions.' And then I saw your first comment and understanding blossomed.

I pick: 42, 24, and 4. (You can sense a theme here.)

I am... well.

There are worries about achieving the first I need in order to have a chance of getting funding for a Masters, but they are somewhat to the back of my mind at the moment. I've pretty much finished the first draft of an essay that doesn't need to be in until January. One more and then I start drafting the first chapter of my dissertation.

I've also got the old reoccurring worries about maintaining friendships, seriously I get more freaked out about things like 'have I seen them enough', 'are they mad at me', did I say something wrong' with friends than I ever have with The Boyfriend. But I'm learning to ignore those sorts of feelings as me freaking out over nothing.

I made flapjacks today and I have supper cooked by The Boyfriend to look forward to tomorrow, along with Trampolining.

[laeria]

Flapjacks are amazing. Friend-worries... I don't actually have them much, but then I am a little bit cruel and selfish in my friendships. (Like, my friends mean the world to me but at the same time I kind of expect them to tell me if I'm doing something wrong AND ALSO to basically wait me out with infinite patience. If it helps, I do do the same for them). School-worries, now, they are intimately familiar to me, and I'm sorry you have them. Good luck with getting a first! As far as I know, firsts are haaaard, so, go you for going for it! <3

I have a lot of awe for people who write essays with any kind of regularness. WORDS ARE HARD OKAY.

04. My best first date.
I haven't actually dated - the one amorous thing I did have skipped the dating part and headfirsted into the kissing and meaningful relationship discussion stadium, which, while it saved a lot of time, also cut down on the amount of kissing, so, I dunno, I don't actually recommend it.

See 24 above.

42. My relationship with my siblings.
My brothers are awesome. They're 11 and 13 years younger than me, so I get to corrupt them with Doctor Who while they're young and impressionable, get to yell at them for sucking at spelling AND get to help them with their homework. They think I'm really cool and all kinds of hilarious, too, so, everybody wins.

[thornyrose42]

Ah see me and The Boyfriend lived across from one another in first year at uni. So we didn't really do dating persay. Actually we only ended up having a 'date' after about three-four months of relationship and we only decided that it was a date half way through. I don't know, the whole concept of intentionally setting up a date seems in some ways very weird to me, sort of artificial and if you don't know them I can see it rapidly descending into a sort of interview. But that's just me. Also I think we managed to fit in quite a bit of kissing along the way. :-)

My youngest sister is nine years younger than me. The other one is only a year and a half younger. We never particularly got on actually. Mainly because I feel like she got all of my bad traits. So we're very similar in a lot of ways but really get on each others' nerves. But I think I'm finally learn, at twenty one, just to take the high road. As for theone other one, we both do that very British thing of never actually talking about our feelings, but I think that we're good at the moment. She's the one I do the whole big sister worry thing with though. Is she happy? Is she confident? Is she still the bundle of nerves and issues that I know she is?