(no subject)
i spent a most glorious afternoon with phil and flowers. we went to the botanical gardens. i needed to be reminded that the world is beautiful and bask in that beauty for a couple hours.
seriously, what is going on with the world?! i know we're all getting old. more importantly our parents are getting old. and we do live in western new york, but jeebus! would people stop getting cancer already!
the silver lining, as selfish as this sounds, is the incredible intimacy and trust phil and i have developed in such a short amount of time. bring together two hopelessly romantic yet cynically paranoid minds and you're in for some grade A+ brain tornadoes. talk about trial by fire. we're handling it like champs. the effect of the cause only perpetuates the cause. ah cycles. how this virgo's life loves them. at least it's a positive cycle for a change. though i can't say i'm completely ready to trust it. and that's ok. i shouldn't be. not after a simple hand full of months. or that's what i keep telling myself. really, i'm completely in love and pondering the potential reality of things i before only explored in fantasy. the idea of it doesn't scare me. the idea of it not happening is what troubles me. what will probably trouble me indefinitely. it's the nature of a reassembled heart. alas, i am again getting ahead of myself. thank god he's patient and slightly more level-headed than i am... well at least about this. i am happy. in the midst of this ever evolving shit storm, i'm happy. and he's happy. that should be all that matters. i'm trying to take a cue from my sagittarian lover and just fucking enjoy it. you know, when i'm not pulling my hair out with worry for him. not to mention others around me who are dealing with similar, if not so categorically dire, situations.
i just want to hug everyone and make it all better! to cheer you, my friends, and myself up, here are some adorable little oranges who posed for me today.
seriously, what is going on with the world?! i know we're all getting old. more importantly our parents are getting old. and we do live in western new york, but jeebus! would people stop getting cancer already!
the silver lining, as selfish as this sounds, is the incredible intimacy and trust phil and i have developed in such a short amount of time. bring together two hopelessly romantic yet cynically paranoid minds and you're in for some grade A+ brain tornadoes. talk about trial by fire. we're handling it like champs. the effect of the cause only perpetuates the cause. ah cycles. how this virgo's life loves them. at least it's a positive cycle for a change. though i can't say i'm completely ready to trust it. and that's ok. i shouldn't be. not after a simple hand full of months. or that's what i keep telling myself. really, i'm completely in love and pondering the potential reality of things i before only explored in fantasy. the idea of it doesn't scare me. the idea of it not happening is what troubles me. what will probably trouble me indefinitely. it's the nature of a reassembled heart. alas, i am again getting ahead of myself. thank god he's patient and slightly more level-headed than i am... well at least about this. i am happy. in the midst of this ever evolving shit storm, i'm happy. and he's happy. that should be all that matters. i'm trying to take a cue from my sagittarian lover and just fucking enjoy it. you know, when i'm not pulling my hair out with worry for him. not to mention others around me who are dealing with similar, if not so categorically dire, situations.
i just want to hug everyone and make it all better! to cheer you, my friends, and myself up, here are some adorable little oranges who posed for me today.