Results...
The Awesome:
* I forgot my key to Mom's house, so I crashed with Aunt Amy. This classifies as a good thing for a host of reasons. Being at Auntie's put me less than a quarter of a mile away from my grandparents' place, making it nearly impossible for me to be late to pick Grandda up. Being at Auntie's gave me good, supportive human company who knew what I had to look forward to the next day and who were just as capable of laughing and worrying about it as I was. More to the point, they were human company capable of distracting me from the Black Hole of Worry I might've spiraled into if I'd been by myself. Being at Auntie's gave me a pack of sleevedogs and cats for company, as well, leaping onto and off of my lap and shoving their faces into my hands for petting. I challenge you to stay uncomforted when you have a fuzzball smiling confidently into your face; I challenge you to get weebly when there's a five-month-old kitten who's just discovered human toes chasing yours.
So that was wonderful.
* Granddad wound up driving out to Nashville and nine-tenths of the way back, but since I kept him talking, he stayed awake for the whole thing. Possibly also since I kept looking at him with the wide blue May I drive the shiny new car? Pleeeeease? eyes, he felt pricked by pride to do a banner job, driving. I care not which; we survived the trip and it was alright.
* The "come to Jesus" portion of the conversation waited till we were mostly home and only took about three sentences. He made his request, I answered a calm, "Duly noted, love," and that was that.
* He let me drive that last little bit of the way and didn't complain about it. None of the yelling I was afraid of materialised. None of the angst materialised. I spent about two hours feeling like my granddaddy's little girl again, and it was sweet.
* I got to talk with Granny for a little while, and she recognised me for myself instead of mistaking me for my younger Aunt. I told her about Dae and made her laugh. <3
* I got to hang out with Aunt Kathy a little when we got home!
* My mother understood why I drove home that night and was glad I left her shepherd's pies for when she got back. So no guilt tripping, there, either.
The Less Than Awesome
* Granddad, at church today, complaining at Mom for "dragging Jess away from her responsibilities at home to come and nursemaid me". And no amount of "You're selling her short, Papa, nobody dragged her, she volunteered," got through. No amount of, "Jess obviously knows how to say NO when she needs to; you think I could drag her anywhere?" got through. He has a story in his head that involved a conspiracy among his daughters to treat him like an incompetent, and he's not being moved from it.
He also, apparently, has a story in his head that involves me having to be hooked and pulled to spend time in his presence.
And what do you do about that?
His family is trying to shore up the places where he's washing out--he knows he's washing out in those places, he said as much to me. What the hell else are we supposed to do? Let him drive off the nearest cliff, pridefirst? It's only a "conspiracy" to bolster him because he refuses to be a part of the planning.
And yeah, I do take a bit of convincing to spend time in my grandfather's presence these days. He doesn't take "NO," worth a damn anymore, and I won't say yes to the one request I know he'll make of me. I left a man who threw fits when thwarted; you think I'm going to run back to another with bells on just because he's got seniority? No sir. Crave pardon but no.
AND ANYWAY. He spent the day driving, eating things my aunts would've given him the hairy eyeball for, deciding which route we took, seeing the doctor alone, and leading the way when walking. Point to one ounce of that and show me "nursemaiding." I would love to see it.
So. Yeah. Part of me is glad none of his ire got thrown at me. And part of me is just sick at heart knowing it existed anyway.
And they wonder why I don't spend more time Back Home.
* I forgot my key to Mom's house, so I crashed with Aunt Amy. This classifies as a good thing for a host of reasons. Being at Auntie's put me less than a quarter of a mile away from my grandparents' place, making it nearly impossible for me to be late to pick Grandda up. Being at Auntie's gave me good, supportive human company who knew what I had to look forward to the next day and who were just as capable of laughing and worrying about it as I was. More to the point, they were human company capable of distracting me from the Black Hole of Worry I might've spiraled into if I'd been by myself. Being at Auntie's gave me a pack of sleevedogs and cats for company, as well, leaping onto and off of my lap and shoving their faces into my hands for petting. I challenge you to stay uncomforted when you have a fuzzball smiling confidently into your face; I challenge you to get weebly when there's a five-month-old kitten who's just discovered human toes chasing yours.
So that was wonderful.
* Granddad wound up driving out to Nashville and nine-tenths of the way back, but since I kept him talking, he stayed awake for the whole thing. Possibly also since I kept looking at him with the wide blue May I drive the shiny new car? Pleeeeease? eyes, he felt pricked by pride to do a banner job, driving. I care not which; we survived the trip and it was alright.
* The "come to Jesus" portion of the conversation waited till we were mostly home and only took about three sentences. He made his request, I answered a calm, "Duly noted, love," and that was that.
* He let me drive that last little bit of the way and didn't complain about it. None of the yelling I was afraid of materialised. None of the angst materialised. I spent about two hours feeling like my granddaddy's little girl again, and it was sweet.
* I got to talk with Granny for a little while, and she recognised me for myself instead of mistaking me for my younger Aunt. I told her about Dae and made her laugh. <3
* I got to hang out with Aunt Kathy a little when we got home!
* My mother understood why I drove home that night and was glad I left her shepherd's pies for when she got back. So no guilt tripping, there, either.
The Less Than Awesome
* Granddad, at church today, complaining at Mom for "dragging Jess away from her responsibilities at home to come and nursemaid me". And no amount of "You're selling her short, Papa, nobody dragged her, she volunteered," got through. No amount of, "Jess obviously knows how to say NO when she needs to; you think I could drag her anywhere?" got through. He has a story in his head that involved a conspiracy among his daughters to treat him like an incompetent, and he's not being moved from it.
He also, apparently, has a story in his head that involves me having to be hooked and pulled to spend time in his presence.
And what do you do about that?
His family is trying to shore up the places where he's washing out--he knows he's washing out in those places, he said as much to me. What the hell else are we supposed to do? Let him drive off the nearest cliff, pridefirst? It's only a "conspiracy" to bolster him because he refuses to be a part of the planning.
And yeah, I do take a bit of convincing to spend time in my grandfather's presence these days. He doesn't take "NO," worth a damn anymore, and I won't say yes to the one request I know he'll make of me. I left a man who threw fits when thwarted; you think I'm going to run back to another with bells on just because he's got seniority? No sir. Crave pardon but no.
AND ANYWAY. He spent the day driving, eating things my aunts would've given him the hairy eyeball for, deciding which route we took, seeing the doctor alone, and leading the way when walking. Point to one ounce of that and show me "nursemaiding." I would love to see it.
So. Yeah. Part of me is glad none of his ire got thrown at me. And part of me is just sick at heart knowing it existed anyway.
And they wonder why I don't spend more time Back Home.