Kid at Heart
I have always known I was a true kid-at-heart! I have always loved that about myself. Now I am wondering if maybe I shouldn't like it so much. I'm not sure what brought this into my head; maybe just that everyone else seems to be losing contact with me. I don't know. I don't really speak to anyone anymore. Martha, Megan, Morgan, Liz, Kim even. All the people I was so close to are slowly getting further and further away from me. They all have very validated reasons I know! Well....some of them anyways.... I don't think you can count drugs as a good excuse. *sigh* I hope when I get to college I find some people who aren't so busy, or lazy, or caught up with something else.
I remember a nice time when I always wanted to run and play in the rain. I remember not caring at all if I hurt myself jumping out of a tree. A good time when just hanging out with friends was so much fun that I smiled before I fell asleep. Now, I can't get my hair wet, like suddenly I care what ppl think of me, what I look like. I worry now, when I used to have none, just jump! If the landing doesn't go so well, you can laugh about it... Or how about playing hide-and-seek at Walmart. Running around like a kid is refreshing, and stress-relieving. How come I can't be that care-free anymore? I want to stay a kid forever, and have nothing to worry about, except getting yelled at by Daddy. lol
I've changed so much already. I'm afraid of changing anymore. I want to run in the rain. I want to sing while walking down the street and not worry about getting abducted! I want to run about and play with friends, who I believe will never leave me.
I feel sort of bad for Jared. I have been so clingy for aboiut a year now. How much have I suffocated him so far? He was talking tonight and it made me realize that I do what his mom does. How much it does bother him. I didn't know.
I want to run free for a while! Go wherever I want, have fun with whomever I wish. I want everyone to be friends again. I want the group back together. I wnat to have odd conversations that almost make me pee myself and laugh about how the teachers hear and think we're weird. I want to be weird again! But to do all those things you have to be free to go! You need a car, close friends who don't leave.
I want my friends back... =(
I will try as hard as I can.
Goodnight to all the ones I miss, and all the ones who miss me. And my sweety, who has stood by me during my transformation from fun to dumb.
*mwah*
Larael
I remember a nice time when I always wanted to run and play in the rain. I remember not caring at all if I hurt myself jumping out of a tree. A good time when just hanging out with friends was so much fun that I smiled before I fell asleep. Now, I can't get my hair wet, like suddenly I care what ppl think of me, what I look like. I worry now, when I used to have none, just jump! If the landing doesn't go so well, you can laugh about it... Or how about playing hide-and-seek at Walmart. Running around like a kid is refreshing, and stress-relieving. How come I can't be that care-free anymore? I want to stay a kid forever, and have nothing to worry about, except getting yelled at by Daddy. lol
I've changed so much already. I'm afraid of changing anymore. I want to run in the rain. I want to sing while walking down the street and not worry about getting abducted! I want to run about and play with friends, who I believe will never leave me.
I feel sort of bad for Jared. I have been so clingy for aboiut a year now. How much have I suffocated him so far? He was talking tonight and it made me realize that I do what his mom does. How much it does bother him. I didn't know.
I want to run free for a while! Go wherever I want, have fun with whomever I wish. I want everyone to be friends again. I want the group back together. I wnat to have odd conversations that almost make me pee myself and laugh about how the teachers hear and think we're weird. I want to be weird again! But to do all those things you have to be free to go! You need a car, close friends who don't leave.
I want my friends back... =(
I will try as hard as I can.
Goodnight to all the ones I miss, and all the ones who miss me. And my sweety, who has stood by me during my transformation from fun to dumb.
*mwah*
Larael