(no subject)
Suddenly this awful rush of emotions came in full speed. I don't know where they came from, why they're here, or what to do with them. Maybe it is because of this strange day of awkward sleeping patterns and stress of needing to do well. It was the last day of finals for me, and the rest of the campus. I should be ecstatic.
This whole weekend home, I kept thinking that I was done with school and had to keep reminding myself that I had one more final to take. But when I say done, I don't mean done for the semester, I kept thinking that I was done with school. Everyone else is now, but I'm not. I mostly tell myself I'm okay with taking my time, taking it slow, but why am I always last? I'm twenty-two years old and I got my drivers license not that long ago. It took me an extra semester before I even started schooling after high school and it is taking me an extra semester to graduate on top of that. I'm not even doing well in school.
This is my monthly freak-out about being a failure in everything I do moment. My sometimes it gets really fucking lonely moment. But in the end, I try to forget about it and keep heading wherever I'm heading, forget that the neighbors suck and turn up the music.
I need to create something beautiful.
This whole weekend home, I kept thinking that I was done with school and had to keep reminding myself that I had one more final to take. But when I say done, I don't mean done for the semester, I kept thinking that I was done with school. Everyone else is now, but I'm not. I mostly tell myself I'm okay with taking my time, taking it slow, but why am I always last? I'm twenty-two years old and I got my drivers license not that long ago. It took me an extra semester before I even started schooling after high school and it is taking me an extra semester to graduate on top of that. I'm not even doing well in school.
This is my monthly freak-out about being a failure in everything I do moment. My sometimes it gets really fucking lonely moment. But in the end, I try to forget about it and keep heading wherever I'm heading, forget that the neighbors suck and turn up the music.
I need to create something beautiful.