silhouette of memory. chapter 16.
Bam/Ville. NC-17. Warnings: smut, language. Bam consults a psychiatrist. Beta'd by
poisonxangel. Banner by
myrskya.
prologue.
chapter 1.
chapter 2.
chapter 3.
chapter 4.
chapter 5.
chapter 6.
chapter 7.
chapter 8.
chapter 9.
chapter 10.
chapter 11.
chapter 12/Pt. 1.
chapter 12/Pt. 2.
chapter 13.
chapter 14.
chapter 15
His eyes betrayed him. When they wandered over Ville, even when they just glanced, there was an intense need in them, and Ville knew he was waiting, wanting, and tired of all the teasing. There wasn't a moment when a small brush of fingers against an arm or an accidental press of hips didn't make Ville's cheeks flush and Bam's lips part in a small, breathless gasp. Sleeping next to each other had become more of a chore than it should have been. Bam had taken to huddling in the farthest corner of the bed, probably trying to avoid assaulting Ville with his morning boner again.
Only when he walked in on Bam jerking off in the guest bathroom did he realize just how bad it was. They had been exchanging heated glances and hot make out sessions for weeks, and the Finn was being awful about stopping things just as they started to get heated. He knew he was ready, but something in him was relishing the tortured look on Bam's face. Part of him craved the validation and the feeling of being wanted that came with those looks.
He only understood just how cruel he was being when Bam finally vocalized his discomfort and they agreed Ville would only start something again if he intended to finish it.
With the season well into summer, Ville's generous backyard pool was warm enough to swim in. Though, that Sunday afternoon, Ville didn't actually agree to swim in it. How he came to be waist-deep in the water with his jeans and t-shirt on, he only knew when he caught his breath and looked up. Bam stood there smiling, his grin of the taunting sort, wide and cheeky.
"So's it finally warm?"
Ville sputtered on his response, unable to articulate with that boyish smile pinning him. Bam was already shirtless, his jeans slung low on his hips, and Ville's eyes were fixated on the point where dark wisps of hair led lower. The way Bam's jeans clung to his crotch made it very clear how big he was, and the reminder made Ville's heart beat faster, his lower stomach clenching impossibly tight. It wasn't as if Bam had changed a lot. He'd always been defined, slightly muscular, and his naughty bits had always been, well, enough to make Ville's entire face blossom with embarrassment. But the little changes, the tanned skin, the tattoos that stretched across the skin of his arms and his torso, the absence of arrogance in his smile, caught Ville's attention in that moment, and he knew, despite all of the odds that had been against them, he was deeply in love with the man standing in front of him again.
"Uhm, Vil'? Are you okay?"
"Yeah!" Ville nearly squeaked, coming back to reality quickly, and remembering that Bam had so ungraciously pushed him into his own pool. "I thought you wouldn't have the guts to try out the water yourself. Sending me in to do the work for you, and all." Smiling, he disappeared under the water, letting it soak through his clothes to cool his feverishly hot skin and through his hair, plastering his locks to his cheeks and neck when he finally surfaced right at the edge of the pool where Bam was standing still, watching.
"Are you going to get in, or do I have to get out and push you?" Pleasantly amused green eyes met mischievous blue.
"I'm having a good time watching you."
"Hmm, what can I do to convince you to come in?" Ville asked, his rhetorical banter hanging in the air between them as he peeled off his drenched shirt, sending it splatting against the pavement next to Bam's feet.With another smile, his body swept underneath the water and he emerged with his pants in hand, the sopping material landing to the left of his shirt. Making a point to look straight at Bam as he started to backstroke through the pool, he sighed at the wonderful sensation of water against his bare skin. Sure, he had been skinny dipping in his pool plenty of times in the past, but it was always alone, with no one watching. Knowing that Bam's eyes were on him added a feeling of deviance to the experience. He still hadn't been fully naked in front of Bam since their reunion, and the barely there veil of water made the blood rush through his veins just a little bit quicker.
He could feel his limbs shaking just slightly with anticipation when Bam's fingers came to his pants' button, flicking it open with one small movement of his wrist. As the zipper parted and Bam slipped the denim down past his hips, Ville felt as though his skin has suddenly become too tight, like if he kept looking, he would come right then and there. The way Bam stripped was so nonchalant, his foot kicking away his jeans. Fingers brushed hair from his face as he stood there, nude and uninhibited.
"See, now you've provoked me." Bam warned, his voice already down in that husky register it always reached when he was aroused. One of the few things in life that actually made Ville feel a little weak in the knees.
"That's not a bad thing," Ville managed past his suddenly dry, constricted throat, his form still as he watched Bam take a step into the water, testing it with a foot before he made his way down the steps, refusing to take his gaze off of Ville, which did nothing to help the goose bumps forming on his arms.
Ville stayed where he was, trying in vain to regain his breath and his thoughts, but every step Bam took closer to him, the sound of the water flowing around him, made it hard for him to focus on anything else but the promise in Bam's eyes and the ache between his own legs. "Bam," he groaned when he felt the other man's fingers wrap around his arms, pressing him back against the pool's ledge. One of his hands slicked up Ville's arm, to his shoulder, to his neck, and then gliding across his cheek until a finger pressed over his lips quieted his next words. The slick feeling of Bam's wet finger against his mouth was soon replaced with his lips, the mere touch bringing a strangled gasp from Ville.
Bam wasn't apologetic or shy about what he wanted, it was clear in the dominance of their kiss, and his hands slicking down Ville's wet skin to grasp his hips. The first contact of Bam's hips against his sent a jolt of untethered pleasure through his stomach, his breath coming quicker. It wasn't a fleeting brush of skin. He could feel Bam, slick and hard pressed against his upper thigh, his own erection trapped between their stomachs, and just the smallest of movement made things in his abdomen twist and his eyes close. When they opened and he found Bam watching him, his green eyes glazed over and his lips parted. "I want you," Ville couldn't stop the pathetic whimper that came from his lips.
"So bad," Bam whispered.
"So, so bad," Ville finished, his voice a needy whimper.
"How do you want me?" Bam groaned, his hands sliding from his hips up his back, one resting against the back of his neck and the other tangling in his wet hair, grasping it lightly as he covered Ville's mouth with his lips again. Using Ville's hair as leverage, Bam tilted his head back so he could run his tongue across the hollow of the Finn's neck, pursing his lips against the damp skin for too brief of a moment.
"I just want you, Bam. Don't ask me questions...I can't think," he nearly stuttered as Bam's fingers brushed his inner thighs, teasing him to his breaking point with their caresses. "Please," he reached down and stopped Bam's hands. "Stop fucking teasing me. You know how long it's been since someone's touched me?"
Bam looked up at him through cloudy blue eyes, barely contained curiosity in them. "How long?"
"A long," he paused, wrapping his fingers around Bam's fingers. "Long." Guiding them further up, he pressed them against his cock, sucking in an aroused breath when Bam's fingers did the rest for him, stroking up the base of his arousal. "Long time. Years."
"Christ, Ville..." Bam's breath was hot and heavy against his ear as his hand sped up.
"So don't make me beg," Ville moaned, arching his hips the best he could in their position, the water making everything more fluid, easier. "Just fuck me, make me feel good. I think I deserve it," he sobbed as Bam's strokes made it harder to speak, to breathe, his limbs tingling with need and pleasure.
"God, baby. I'm gonna make you feel so good," Bam hissed into Ville's ear, the look in his eyes telling the Finn that his words were an intense turn on for other.
Ville moaned, his attention distracted by the hand between his legs, Bam doing his best to make him completely incoherent. "You're doing a pretty good job already." His voice was a quiet gasp, his hands finding Bam's shoulders, brushing over the droplets of water clinging to his skin as his breath started coming out in uncontrollable gasps.
One of his hands slid down Bam's chest, across the hard muscles of his stomach before they curiously grasped the base of his cock, slicking up and down with just enough pressure to make a beautifully loud sound slip from Bam's lips against his neck.
"Nnn, Ville, you don't have to."
"I want to. You feel so nice," Ville slid his arm further around Bam's shoulder, pulling him close as their hands moved in time with each other, until they were both writhing against the wall and Bam's lips found Ville's, his tongue pressing inside so the Finn could taste the coffee and cigarettes they had shared earlier, the flavor strong and delicious on his tongue and lips, coated with a translucent layer of shared saliva.
Ville felt as though he were hyper aware of each touch of their skin together, every breath that washed over his lips and the way Bam's free hand dug into his waist, keeping him pinned to the tiles of the pool, trapped between the hard ledge and the delicious planes of Bam's body.
Without warning, the slick heat of Bam's hand stopped and he felt hands hoisting him out of the water, onto the ledge, Bam climbing out after him. Their separation didn't last a minute, Bam's form covering his. He couldn't care about the harsh texture of the cement, not when Bam's hips ground down into his, water dripping profusely from the other man's body onto his own, making the friction between them smooth and seamless.
When Bam's lips wrapped around his nipple, he clutched at the other's back, pushing up into his mouth instinctively. "Need something to make this easier," he gasped. They were so far away from the bedroom, and Ville didn't want it to stop. It felt too good, just being surrounded by Bam's scent, their bodies pressed together impossibly close on the cold, rough ground.
"Mmm, don't worry, I'll make it easy for you, baby," Bam promised, and Ville couldn't help the twinge of excitement at his words. They could have meant anything, but as Bam's hand slipped beneath his thigh, pushing it up to expose his ass, the prospect made Ville whimper, his lips parting in surprise and his eyes focused intently on Bam's before the other man's head disappeared between his legs.
"Fuck!" he cried out when he felt Bam's tongue slide inside of him. Bam's lips had never been below his waist in all the times they'd been together, and the new sensation was overwhelming. Slow, teasing circles sharply contrasted with the full feeling of Bam's tongue delving inside of him over and over, waves of pleasure building in Ville's belly before he had to curl his palms into clenching fists of Bam's hair. "Nngh...can't. Oh god. Fuck."
The slippery touch of Bam's tongue was soon replaced with the more tangible feeling of fingers, curling and pressing inside of him slowly, so slowly that it felt like torture. The more they slid into him, the more inadequate they became, and the more urgent the situation became. "Please, Bam. I'm ready," he exhaled roughly, his voice trembling.
His eyes met Bam's, and the intentions in them made it suddenly hard to breathe, to move, other than to part his lips when Bam's mouth covered his, the kiss short and the flash of Bam's tongue teasing. Ville's heart sped up when Bam looked down at him, their breath mingling in the sweltering, moist summer air as they shifted in the puddle of residual water beneath them.
"Do you trust me?" Bam's lips said. Please, tell me you trust me, his eyes said.
Ville didn't have to think about the answer. "I do." He reached up and ran his fingers through Bam's curls, down to his cheek, his palm cupping it as Bam pressed forward, positioning himself between Ville's thighs, the proximity of Bam's erection to the cleft of his ass forcing a low groan from him.
As he looked down, watching Bam reach between them to guide himself in, he remembered the cement. "Your knees, Bam..."
"Fuck, Ville, I don't care. I need this as much as you," he protested, and Ville bit down on his lip when he felt the consuming burn of sensation as Bam filled him up, his fingers digging desperately hard into the other man's hips as he unintentionally held his breath for a moment before letting it out in a long, almost relieved moan that made everything in his lower body tingle.
Bam was slow and careful, his breath shaky and deep, deeper than Ville had ever heard it. Ville could tell that he was holding back a more intense response, the strain on his features, the clench of his teeth together, and the tightness of his fingers around his thighs.
"Don't be shy, Bam," he whispered, reaching to wrap his arm around Bam's neck.
"Ngh..aah," Bam let go of the sound he'd been withholding, his hands steadying themselves on Ville's hipbones. "You're so fucking beautiful, Vil'."
While the words would have usually made Ville flush with embarrassment, they were then accompanied by an eager thrust of Bam's hips, again, and again, and Ville cried out, his eyes closing tight, as though it would make the intense satisfaction and pleasure more bearable. He could never deny that even after their awful affair in high school, he'd thought about Bam fucking him plenty of times, thought about how he'd never feel so good ever again unless it was him. And he'd been right.
At that moment, nothing but the thought of feeling good and feeling good with Bam mattered. The pleasure and pain of their hips moving together and their bodies scraping against the cement as Bam pushed inside of him, ripping a loud lament from his lips as everything around them dissolved until there was nothing but them and their rhythm and their bodies slicking together urgently.
It was rough and needy and unrestrained as Ville pulled at Bam's hair and Bam groaned into his ear, his lips and tongue lavishing lewd amounts of attention on his neck and his shoulder and finally his mouth. But somehow, it was still perfect, and Ville couldn't take the building pressure anymore, his gasps bordering on hyperventilation as he grasped violently at the other man's hips, flexing around him as he came between their stomachs, the fluid smearing across their skin from Bam's continued thrusts.
"Fuck, Ville, baby. Oh god," Bam cried out, the display of emotions on his face sexy enough to make Ville's stomach thrum with pleasure and need again, even as the indelible rush of ecstasy faded, his limbs spread on the pavement, limp and useless, his eyes watching Bam find his place amongst reality again.
Ville's hearbeat and breathing didn't want to slow, the pace persistent and erratic even as Bam's weight fell atop him, his arms automatically wrapping around the other man's shoulders. When their chests pressed together, he could feel Bam's quick heartbeat matching his own, and with the reassurance of their warm bodies entangled, his breath steadied and he closed his eyes, the weight of his lids unsurprising.
"Mm, Bam?"
"Yeah?"
"That was amazing," Ville managed, letting his fingers stroke involuntarily across the skin of Bam's back. "You're amazing."
There was silence for a few moments, the only sound the wind blowing the trees around and the light flow of water through the pool.
"Ville?"
"Mmm?"
"Thank you."
Ville shifted only the slightest bit, his eyelids opening halfway so he could see the hazy outline of Bam's face. "For what?"
"For trusting me. For letting me make you feel good."
Ville could feel Bam's hands tighten around his waist, and the small gesture meant more to him than even the words that had passed from his lips.
"You don't have to thank me. You've earned it," Ville shrugged, nuzzling his face in Bam's still damp curls where they rested upon his chest. "Honestly, I haven't been this happy...well, since I was a little kid." Ville admitted, though the force of recognition tugged at his heartstrings.
"Me too," Bam kissed his way across Ville's collarbone, scooting up so he could catch Ville's lips, his fingers carefully framing the other's face, running gently down his cheek to his neck, where he brushed errant strands of hair aside. Placing a soft kiss against Ville's nape, he reached down to twine their fingers together.
"We could have picked a better spot, though. My back feels so fucking awful right now," Ville chuckled, the deep sound resonating around them, followed by Bam's own bought of laughter.
"So do my knees. I'm scared to look at them."
Ville felt Bam shift, felt fleeting kisses down his chest, all the way down to his stomach where they stopped, and he let out a soft moan at the stimulating sensation. When he opened his eyes, Bam was standing, looking down at his knees. They were red and a deep gash was still burgeoning on one of them, a small trail of dried blood pasted to the skin beneath. Ville winced. "Damn. That's...really bad. We should go clean it up."
"We?" Bam asked, looking down at Ville. "I can do it myself, you know," Bam laughed as he offered Ville a hand. Once Ville was standing, Bam turned him around and ran a fingers lightly down his back. "Looks like you need some peroxide, too," he joked, and Ville rolled his eyes.
"I just want a shower," he nearly purred as Bam wrapped his arms around his waist from behind. They walked back into the house just like that, their gait awkward and careful, Bam's lips assaulting his neck and his fingers sliding down dangerously low on his stomach. Ville could feel himself getting hard again, and he groaned. "Stop or I'm going to have to fuck you again...on the carpet this time."
"So I can have some brush burns to go with my scrapes?" Bam whispered in his ear, leading them down the hallway to the guest bathroom.
Ville smiled as he prodded the door open and started the water, the sound of the running tap and the feel of the cool stream over his fingers a welcome contrast to the sticky heat of the outdoors.
Bam's hands grasped Ville's waist, pushing him flush against the wall with his hips and his mouth, their tongues meeting halfway. Ville didn't protest, he welcomed the touch and the kiss, returning it eagerly and without hesitation. He loved that Bam seemingly couldn't get enough of him, especially when he reached down and pressed his hand suggestively against his thigh, trailing it around to his ass, squeezing, tugging Ville's hips closer to his, the heat and weight of Bam's cock against his creating a whole new haze of tension and need around them and in Ville's stomach. "You feel so good, Bam," he murmured, the sound of his voice nearly drowned out by the running shower that Bam pulled him into, the water rushing over both of them, soaking their hair and their hot skin.
Neither of them said anything as Bam reached for the soap. He didn't bother with the washrag, pouring the liquid into his palm, and lathering it right on Ville's chest, the suds gathering and slipping down the other man's bare, slick skin. His hands travelled across the planes of Ville's skin, massaging and spreading the suds around until the entirety of his torso was covered, his hand finally sliding down to slide over the Finn's erection for a brief second, drawing an impatient sound from him.
He stopped Bam's hands, smiling deviously at him as he turned around, propping his hands against the slippery wall, so his ass was facing Bam, droplets of water sliding down his spine, down his perfect ass cheeks, to his thighs before they fell to the shower floor. He licked the residual drops from his lips, a surprised breath forced from them as Bam drizzled the cold soapy liquid on his back. At first, it stung, the cuts on his back protesting, but after a moment, the sensation of Bam's hands only made the arousal between his legs more intense. He could feel the foam gliding down his lower back as Bam rubbed it in, his slightly calloused fingers rough and smooth at the same time, and he thought, for a moment, how strangely expert Bam was at using his hands. Feather light strokes followed by more forceful, demanding caresses, before he tugged Ville underneath the shower spray to rinse him off.
His fingers didn't stop. They brushed over his cheek, his neck, tracing circles over his collarbone and his shoulder. Bam's intense stare pinned Ville's eyes as he trailed his touch over the intricate sleeve covering Ville's arm as the water washed away the residual soap suds. When their fingers met, Bam's captured his, pulling him even closer.
The kiss they shared underneath the trail of water was perhaps the most erotic thing Ville had ever experienced; Bam's tongue pushing the cool water into his mouth, the liquid dripping down their lips and cheeks, his own hands finding Bam's skin and touching him everywhere...every patch of skin he could find, he ran his greedy fingers over, remembering and listening as Bam sighed into his mouth. When blue eyes opened and stared into green ones, Ville had to suppress a shudder at how clear and honest they were.
His heart was in his throat, it was pounding so hard, and he knew it was a different kind of heartbeat. It was a small swell of anxiety. Knowing that he was a complete fool for Bam. Knowing he couldn't stop what was already there, already growing so quickly, knowing that Bam already had his heart in the palm of his hand. If Bam chose to, he could easily hurt Ville all over again.
But his eyes, his eyes said something, and his lips moved almost in slow motion. "I love you, Ville. You don't have to say anything. Just, I need you to know I love you."
Ville sucked in a shaky breath at the words he was least expecting, but at the same time they somehow quelled his fears and his erratic heart. Maybe it was the sincerity in Bam's voice, or the way Bam kissed him. Maybe it was the slow, careful way Bam made love to him right there under the shower spray, but he knew could finally let go and just feel. He could feel Bam's fingers through his hair and over his body, the deliberate thrust of his hips. The emotions between them. Lust, longing, love. He'd let Bam have his heart, and he'd stop worrying about what he did with it.
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to be continued.
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