people pass, much like a blur
I've come to realize that I've become so very far removed from people I thought were my friends. It's really not anyone's fault, although I'm sure at some point I'm going to feel like it is. Already I was upset at the whole thing with my best friend and him asking this girl to marry him and at some level, I should have known that I really shouldn't as upset as I was. We all grow up and move on. I think it just hit me that people have moved on and I'm not part of that moving on at all. Am I upset about that? No. And it's because I've also gotten to the point where I'm not who they remember me to be. I've seen too many things and experienced so much that I'm not going to be on the same level.
I have to say, I'm not where I ever imagined I would be. I don't know too many people who are where they thought they would be. My path in life has been so divergent from where I thought I would be. I'm not in an happy place. My degree is useless, my job experience is useless, my diversity is useless. No, I didn't expect to be here. I also didn't expect all the good that I did experience, all the good that I have seen. I'm hoping that's enough to balance things out, but too many times it isn't enough to balance things out.
I'll be thirty-two on Sunday. It'll be the seventh birthday I've spent without family or friends. I grew up making a big deal of birthdays. And why not? Why not celebrate the fact that we've survived another year in this era of rough times. There's so many bad things that happen in life, why not celebrate some good? My first birthday here in MI was horrible. No one remembered my birthday but Charles. I ate ramen noodles for good luck and long life (eating noodles is a tradition in a Chinese family). I didn't get a greeting from anyone. And I was dragged around to go see an old house. Oh, and that was the day I read the part in Harry Potter where Dumbledore died. Wow, was that a shitty day. So now, I want only good birthdays.
I'm going to see Weird Al Yankovic for my birthday tonight. I'm excited. My friend Erin gave me a yellow purse, even though I didn't expect her to get me anything. Charles' mom and dad took me out to eat the other day at this New Orleans style restaurant and I got a free desert (I got tiramisu). And today is the first day of my four day birthday vacation. It seems to be off to a good start. Wish me luck!
Aloha for now. \m/
J
I have to say, I'm not where I ever imagined I would be. I don't know too many people who are where they thought they would be. My path in life has been so divergent from where I thought I would be. I'm not in an happy place. My degree is useless, my job experience is useless, my diversity is useless. No, I didn't expect to be here. I also didn't expect all the good that I did experience, all the good that I have seen. I'm hoping that's enough to balance things out, but too many times it isn't enough to balance things out.
I'll be thirty-two on Sunday. It'll be the seventh birthday I've spent without family or friends. I grew up making a big deal of birthdays. And why not? Why not celebrate the fact that we've survived another year in this era of rough times. There's so many bad things that happen in life, why not celebrate some good? My first birthday here in MI was horrible. No one remembered my birthday but Charles. I ate ramen noodles for good luck and long life (eating noodles is a tradition in a Chinese family). I didn't get a greeting from anyone. And I was dragged around to go see an old house. Oh, and that was the day I read the part in Harry Potter where Dumbledore died. Wow, was that a shitty day. So now, I want only good birthdays.
I'm going to see Weird Al Yankovic for my birthday tonight. I'm excited. My friend Erin gave me a yellow purse, even though I didn't expect her to get me anything. Charles' mom and dad took me out to eat the other day at this New Orleans style restaurant and I got a free desert (I got tiramisu). And today is the first day of my four day birthday vacation. It seems to be off to a good start. Wish me luck!
Aloha for now. \m/
J