What Life?
Being a writer, I have a habit of sometimes peeking into people's heads and trying to see how they tick. It sort of occurred to me how people are when they plan their suicides in advance (maybe this was inspired by the poem 'Richard Corey'). Can you imagine having an agenda or calendar, planning out everything in your life ... and then one day - for some reason or another - you decide to commit suicide. You write it down in your agenda: 'Tuesday the 24th - 10:00am - Suicide by Hanging' or whatever. You continue on, and people continue to give you appointments and deadlines, but you don't pencil in anything after the date. You realize there's something relaxing about not having to meet these appointments and deadlines, and your whole demeanor changes. You become more peaceful, because nothing is going to bother you ever again when you leave this life. Nobody suspects that your little agenda book is empty after that date. They just automatically assume you'll be there when they say you should. Hell, they probably won't figure out you're dead until days after you miss the appointment - they'll just spend that brief time cussing out your ancestors for producing you and speculating that your love life involves goats. Then you finally do it ... and you're no more.
Of course, some people take a vacation, quit, and find a less stressful job.
No, I am not planning on suicide. It's just an odd thought that occurred to me after I read about the mother who killed her children after her husband told her he was divorcing her. But that was more of a revenge thing than a peaceful release, even if she did plan to kill herself as well. She did have it planned out, so my mind went off into a bizarre tangent.
I've been working at the college and attending classes the past two days, and I am exhausted. I just want to veg today, but I have a lot to catch up on - laundry, homework, exercise, dishes, etc.
I got to develop my first roll of film on Monday, which really pleases me. The film turned out wonderfully, and was actually one of the few in the class that came out well (everyone else messed up their chemistry or didn't seal their tanks properly or exposed their film to light. Next week we start printing.
Yesterday was more rehearsal. I really should be put as an audience plant because I laugh at everything. Came up with more costume fun. At least I came up with something acceptable this time. Really, why the hell should I have my name on the program as 'costume designer' if I didn't design the good costumes? All the good costumes are being done by the really colorful actors. I should just face facts and admit to being an historical costumer rather than a stage costumer, because I'm historically more accurate. Nertz.
Also worked out at the YMCA for the first time. On a treadmill - nobody told me that when one finally gets off of one of those things, it STILL feels like you're being pushed forward through space! I checked into the spinning class and talked to one of the instructors, and she showed me how to adjust my bike if I come in during the middle of class next time.
Essentially, I'm spending twelve hours at the college everyday, and I go home exhausted and try to get to sleep. Very little time with my husband, indeed. He wanted to watch 'Space Symphony Maetel' today, but I really do not feel like I can wrap my head around a new series at the moment (mainly because I know I'll want to watch it all the way through and then nothing would get done). Right now, he's snoring in the living room. And mom is making noises that dishes must be done, and the washer just finished for me to transfer to the dryer and start another load. Must go - and fall over from exhaustion.
Of course, some people take a vacation, quit, and find a less stressful job.
No, I am not planning on suicide. It's just an odd thought that occurred to me after I read about the mother who killed her children after her husband told her he was divorcing her. But that was more of a revenge thing than a peaceful release, even if she did plan to kill herself as well. She did have it planned out, so my mind went off into a bizarre tangent.
I've been working at the college and attending classes the past two days, and I am exhausted. I just want to veg today, but I have a lot to catch up on - laundry, homework, exercise, dishes, etc.
I got to develop my first roll of film on Monday, which really pleases me. The film turned out wonderfully, and was actually one of the few in the class that came out well (everyone else messed up their chemistry or didn't seal their tanks properly or exposed their film to light. Next week we start printing.
Yesterday was more rehearsal. I really should be put as an audience plant because I laugh at everything. Came up with more costume fun. At least I came up with something acceptable this time. Really, why the hell should I have my name on the program as 'costume designer' if I didn't design the good costumes? All the good costumes are being done by the really colorful actors. I should just face facts and admit to being an historical costumer rather than a stage costumer, because I'm historically more accurate. Nertz.
Also worked out at the YMCA for the first time. On a treadmill - nobody told me that when one finally gets off of one of those things, it STILL feels like you're being pushed forward through space! I checked into the spinning class and talked to one of the instructors, and she showed me how to adjust my bike if I come in during the middle of class next time.
Essentially, I'm spending twelve hours at the college everyday, and I go home exhausted and try to get to sleep. Very little time with my husband, indeed. He wanted to watch 'Space Symphony Maetel' today, but I really do not feel like I can wrap my head around a new series at the moment (mainly because I know I'll want to watch it all the way through and then nothing would get done). Right now, he's snoring in the living room. And mom is making noises that dishes must be done, and the washer just finished for me to transfer to the dryer and start another load. Must go - and fall over from exhaustion.