ATTENTION dear friends, potential boyfriends, fairy godmothers, secret admirers, stalkers, etc:
My birthday is in less than two weeks (followed shortly afterward by the day otherwise known as xxx-mas).
If there happen to be any extremely kind and generous souls out there with expendable incomes/expandable hearts (who also happen to really, really like me), i've made it easy for you to make at least some attempt to buy my affection make me your slavehappy (and in keeping what seems to have become my annual tradition) I give you....
+ A new digital camera (or a way to fix my old one....it got all brokeded)
+ An honest-to-goodness SPA DAY (pedicure,manicure,full body massage,facial...i.e. the works). I've asked santa for one every year for the past 10 years but he apparently doesn't think i need to pamper myself.
+ Make a promise to re-use and recycle everything and anything you possible can.
+ Gift certificates to: LeTarget, Fluevog Shoes or BARNEYS.
+ Join (and support) StopGlobalWarming.Org
+ A NEW TATTOO!!!
+ Make donations to: Mass NARAL, Horizons for Homeless Children, Big Brother/Big Sister or The Animal Rescue League!!!
+ An iPhone.
+ A bottle (or case?) of Taylor Fladgate 30-Year Tawny Port, Delaforce "Curious and Ancient", Patron Silver or "Ron Pampero" Anniversario Rum".
+ VOLUNTEER!
+ Anything from my
+ Plant a tree.
+ Enrollment in Intermediate French, Beginner's Japanese, Spanish, German or Italian, Painting, Sculpture, jewelry-making/metalworks, Violin, Guitar, Glass-blowing, Fashion Design, Swing Dance, Kung Fu and/or Yoga classes.
+ Say "i love you" more often (i.e., not just to me, silly...Be generous with your lovin').
+ CRUISE/PLANE TICKETS to a far-away land. Someplace exotic, unfamiliar, intoxicating. I don't care where. Unless it's, like....Alabama or Iraq or something.
+ Read a book to someone who can't read (yet).
+ A PONY! (ok...no. i'll settle for a puppy for now. or fish...how about some fishies? Wait, no....a monster aquarium full of CEPHALOPODS!!! and maybe a turtle (or 3)? i also like bunnies. oh, and MONKEYS (...except for that whole poo-flinging thing).
+ Practice random kindness and senseless acts of beauty.
+ MORE SEX TOYS (....one can never have enough, after all).
+ Make someone laugh.
+ A song/poem/painting in my honor. Why? Because it's romantic (you fool).
+ Something decadent.
+ Something delicate.
+ Something elegant.
+ A WINNING LOTTERY TICKET!
+ Something naughty.
+ Something pretty.
+ (Something like love).
If there happen to be any extremely kind and generous souls out there with expendable incomes/expandable hearts (who also happen to really, really like me), i've made it easy for you to make at least some attempt to buy my affection make me your slavehappy (and in keeping what seems to have become my annual tradition) I give you....
+ A new digital camera (or a way to fix my old one....it got all brokeded)
+ An honest-to-goodness SPA DAY (pedicure,manicure,full body massage,facial...i.e. the works). I've asked santa for one every year for the past 10 years but he apparently doesn't think i need to pamper myself.
+ Make a promise to re-use and recycle everything and anything you possible can.
+ Gift certificates to: LeTarget, Fluevog Shoes or BARNEYS.
+ Join (and support) StopGlobalWarming.Org
+ A NEW TATTOO!!!
+ Make donations to: Mass NARAL, Horizons for Homeless Children, Big Brother/Big Sister or The Animal Rescue League!!!
+ An iPhone.
+ A bottle (or case?) of Taylor Fladgate 30-Year Tawny Port, Delaforce "Curious and Ancient", Patron Silver or "Ron Pampero" Anniversario Rum".
+ VOLUNTEER!
+ Anything from my
+ Plant a tree.
+ Enrollment in Intermediate French, Beginner's Japanese, Spanish, German or Italian, Painting, Sculpture, jewelry-making/metalworks, Violin, Guitar, Glass-blowing, Fashion Design, Swing Dance, Kung Fu and/or Yoga classes.
+ Say "i love you" more often (i.e., not just to me, silly...Be generous with your lovin').
+ CRUISE/PLANE TICKETS to a far-away land. Someplace exotic, unfamiliar, intoxicating. I don't care where. Unless it's, like....Alabama or Iraq or something.
+ Read a book to someone who can't read (yet).
+ A PONY! (ok...no. i'll settle for a puppy for now. or fish...how about some fishies? Wait, no....a monster aquarium full of CEPHALOPODS!!! and maybe a turtle (or 3)? i also like bunnies. oh, and MONKEYS (...except for that whole poo-flinging thing).
+ Practice random kindness and senseless acts of beauty.
+ MORE SEX TOYS (....one can never have enough, after all).
+ Make someone laugh.
+ A song/poem/painting in my honor. Why? Because it's romantic (you fool).
+ Something decadent.
+ Something delicate.
+ Something elegant.
+ A WINNING LOTTERY TICKET!
+ Something naughty.
+ Something pretty.
+ (Something like love).