Light it up
Physical bullshit aside, I feel like I'm going through another adolescence.
To wit: I'm enjoying my newfound independence and selfishness (in the hours my children are at school and therefore someone else's responsibility). I'm disenchanted with authority, my eyes opened to the hypocracy, lies, and ineptitude of all the institutions I used to have faith in (government, medicine, education, parents...). I'm pissed off all the time at the unfair hand I have been dealt in life, which is honestly fucked up--but also owning the fact that in some ways I've been spectacularly blessed.
Indeed, I'm embracing the fact that I am, as a whole, awesome. I don't give a fuck what the mean girls think of me, or anyone else. I am rocking my own style, my own agenda. I got this.
So that's fun.
I just wish I had teenage me's energy to go with the attitude.
I am so desperately weak and tired these days. That girl, she had a supernova of hormones to break her out of the chrysalis of her past and motor toward an uncertain future.
All I need is a spark, and a slow burn.
I can handle the rest.