In Which I Make it Social Media Official
So about a month ago I was awarded a license for medical marijuana by the (blessedly Blue) State of Delaware. My neurologist backed me on it, as did my husband. My family knows; I've discussed it with the Kinglet. I will even consume it in front of them--not like whoo whoo boy, Mommie's gonna dance with Lucy in the Sky now, but as in, "Mommie's in pain and she needs to feel better."
And I am feeling better.
Not, like, super great, mind you. I'm still very sick--very weak. My life is a dance with pain from waking until the wee hours. Lately I hurt so bad, I don't even love my bed anymore--can't wait to get out of it in the morning. If you've ever shared a bed with me, you know what a stark change that is.
To be clear: marijuana doesn't take the pain away; what it DOES do is relax me, loosen the reins that pain has on me. Importantly, it is also changing the dynamic of my relationships with Pain and Pain Medicine. I am still (very) dependent on pain medicine--as a mother and a still-youngish poet person I have a lot of work to do, which I cannot do hunched in a Pain Chair. BUT, because of marijuana I am learning to build tides into my day, circuitous pathways to task management. This is so much better than the Triage Method, that approach that helped me survive my 30s and early special needs parenting--I needed it then but I don't need it now, so it has to go.
Now I'm in the very early stages of transition. There will be much trial and error, much exploration. Sorting through the products that are available, for instance. (You guys, it's a Brave New World for pot since I've been away. The subject of lots of future writing, I suspect.) But this whole new philosophy on life, this whole new journey that I'm on--I don't think it would be possible without marijuana. I'm beside myself with gratitude to have this opportunity.
As a chronic pain patient, one of the millions caught up in the tricky web of opioids and the health industry, I see federal legalization of medical marijuana as a promising answer to the so-called opiod crisis. Give people pain relief that won't kill them, for fuck's sake. Come on, now.
So, bonus; by writing about my own personal health journey, I can also chronicle for something I believe in. Y to ay. :)