Second, I'm sorry for the H&C "happy" quip on FB earlier- it as before I'd read further on. And, because I rather purposely live in a bubble, I rarely know about current events unless a friend says something. I hadn't heard about Anthony Bourdain yet. :(
Not all friendship is an illusion, although I do understand that feeling in dark, pain filled moments.
I have much love for you. We've never met, though it feels like we've shared a good chunk of our lives. It is hard not to develop some deep feelings, when one chooses to share intimate thoughts, feelings, failings, and triumphs. I'm sorry that you're hurting, feeling such wrenching loss, and perhaps even feeling betrayal.
Weight. I climbed in weight until I hit 301. That was my high. Up until then, I had mixed feelings. When PCOS first slammed me, I went from 150 to 220. I was good with 150. I liked it. I was short and curvy. I just felt feisty. All of a sudden, I was ROUND. After about a year, it dawned on me that men no longer saw me, and I realized that I suddenly felt safer. I loved that. It took me a long time to lose the fear that Ben might leave me for a sexy, tiny chick, but I loved feeling invisible. PCOS makes it really tough to lose weight. When we were in CA, I was walking 2 miles to and from the school, morning and afternoon- that is EIGHT miles a day. No loss of weight. Grrrr.
I didn't really begin to lose until I dropped all pain meds. Which kinda sucks. I stopped eating because my pain level became so high that I am nauseated all the time. I am at about 180 now.
I wouldn't recommend that method. ;)
Do you feel unhealthy? How does your husband feel?
As far as this weekend, I'd suggest you wear something you love. Hell, or go GET something you love. I can even recommend a couple of sites/brands that make lovely plus sized clothing if you are willing to pay ridiculous shipping.
Good luck this weekend, lady. I'll send you emotional love, and mentally hold your hand here and there. Try to feel that.
Second, I'm sorry for the H&C "happy" quip on FB earlier- it as before I'd read further on. And, because I rather purposely live in a bubble, I rarely know about current events unless a friend says something. I hadn't heard about Anthony Bourdain yet. :(
Not all friendship is an illusion, although I do understand that feeling in dark, pain filled moments.
I have much love for you. We've never met, though it feels like we've shared a good chunk of our lives. It is hard not to develop some deep feelings, when one chooses to share intimate thoughts, feelings, failings, and triumphs. I'm sorry that you're hurting, feeling such wrenching loss, and perhaps even feeling betrayal.
Weight. I climbed in weight until I hit 301. That was my high. Up until then, I had mixed feelings. When PCOS first slammed me, I went from 150 to 220. I was good with 150. I liked it. I was short and curvy. I just felt feisty. All of a sudden, I was ROUND. After about a year, it dawned on me that men no longer saw me, and I realized that I suddenly felt safer. I loved that. It took me a long time to lose the fear that Ben might leave me for a sexy, tiny chick, but I loved feeling invisible. PCOS makes it really tough to lose weight. When we were in CA, I was walking 2 miles to and from the school, morning and afternoon- that is EIGHT miles a day. No loss of weight. Grrrr.
I didn't really begin to lose until I dropped all pain meds. Which kinda sucks. I stopped eating because my pain level became so high that I am nauseated all the time. I am at about 180 now.
I wouldn't recommend that method. ;)
Do you feel unhealthy? How does your husband feel?
As far as this weekend, I'd suggest you wear something you love. Hell, or go GET something you love. I can even recommend a couple of sites/brands that make lovely plus sized clothing if you are willing to pay ridiculous shipping.
Good luck this weekend, lady. I'll send you emotional love, and mentally hold your hand here and there. Try to feel that.
Be kind to you.
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