April 24, 2006.
Hello birthday boy... I've been waiting for a long distance conversation through the telephone.
But it hasn't come yet. Why haven't you called? We both know that I don't have good news or anything,
I just miss you so much. Things haven't changed since you left 7 days ago. Most of time I'm still lying in bed,
feeling so sick, sometimes I pretend I'm okay and that this nightmare will soon end.
But I know it won't. And I'm always lonely. And I can't talk to anyone. They think I'm sick and that's it.
So many friends but no one... not one of them...
I need to talk to someone. I don't know how long I could hold on, by myself.
With all my difficulties and promises I've made... it makes everything harder.
Maybe I'm weak. I feel weak. I want to throw up all the time. I cry every damn night.
I haven't opened the curtain in days... And I have to wait for you for 57 more days.
These are the days when I need you the most. And you knew that, but still you left me.
I cannot blame you. I'm not blamming you. I just wish you were here.