Broken
Take my hand, stay, Joanne
Heaven's not ready for you
Every part of my aching heart
Needs you more than the angels do
I am hollow. I am empty. I still look for her. I still want to call her name. I am heartbroken and I'm not sure how to pick up the pieces.
We said our goodbye to our beautiful girl on Tuesday. She stopped eating, stopped drinking water, hid in the oddest places, distant, no urine, and only passing blood with the tiny spec of feces.B was about 12-14. The first vet we saw made it sound like our girl's back teeth were bad and had low calcium. That it was something he/we could work on a new diet with purchasing a different brand/type of cat food.. The second vet on Tuesday completed x-rays and when she felt her belly, she could feel a large tumor. Once she felt the tumor, she said she was 'very sorry'.
Dad said to go on with any procedure even though we've been in a major money crunch. My dad likes to always be some type of macho man and not show feelings, but I know he loved B very much and was upset. My brother was devastated and crying on the phone.
As much as mom wanted to bring her back home, like the vet said, she would of starved to death. I could see and feel how bony my beloved cat became in the past weeks.Mom and I decided to not go through with the surgery.
I didn't want her to suffer, I didn't want her to feel any pain. God forbid she died during the surgery. B peeing blood confirmed my worst fears. As we talked with the vet, B seemed extremely scared and freaked out in the room. I was petting her and she came close to my arm, laid her head down on me and I made sure she was touching me.Mom and I were hysterical when the vet came back in with the injections that would take B away from us. I told her we all love you. After the second injection, she was gone. Her lifeless and cold body crushed my heart and soul.
On Fridays I'm off from classes and volunteer at a cat rescue shelter. I socialize the kittens and been there for a couple of months..I'm not sure how I will feel when I go in. My family and I did start talk of adopting another cat but we are all in mourning.
My sweet girl, my best friend, my pal, my buddy, my monkey, Queen, our protector, so full of love to give. She was taken from us way too soon.
Rest in Peace, my sweet friend.