Drawing to a Close
So tomorrow is the day that I go back through the year and think about what I've learned. But this has been such an eventful, change-ful, complex year that there's more going on in my head than I can just sum up there.
I've had so many good things happen this year. I went from 'hey, maybe I'll start my own practice' to a business with over a hundred clients, turning a profit, and on the path to be one of the first certified veterinary hospice practitioners in the world. (Dude. How many people get to be part of the world's first ANYTHING?)
I've gotten good enough with my crafting to win prizes for my crochet and my spinning. I remember the first skein of yarn that I spun, and how frustrating and lumpy and ugly it was. I've gotten good enough with aerials that my teacher is pushing me to perform, and to branch out into other apparatuses.
I cut my hair for the first time in almost 30 years. And in the process, I shed not just a foot of hair, but most of those 30 years of body-baggage. It's bizarre, but somehow getting rid of the one part of my appearance that I took the most pride in changed my body image enough to let me see myself with new eyes.
At the same time.... I lost another dear friend to cancer, and I'm still facing emotional aftershocks from that. My father started facebook-stalking me and having family members send me threatening messages. My husband was out of work again, and is still doing contract work. I spent nearly a year fighting to get the health insurance that we've been paying for all along, and dealing with collections agencies in the meantime.
My new car was rear-ended by a semi, and the trucking company is still refusing to take responsibility for the accident, and are fighting any request to pay for the repairs. I'm still dealing with residual pain from my spinal surgery. I've had pneumonia twice.
I've dealt with depression before, but this year it got bad enough to actually seek out meds. And owning my own practice has led to some toxic mental and behavioral patterns around work hours, as well as anxiety when calls don't come in as frequently as I hope they will.
It's been a roller-coaster of a year. I'm not the same person I was at the start. But... I think I like who I am right now.
I've had so many good things happen this year. I went from 'hey, maybe I'll start my own practice' to a business with over a hundred clients, turning a profit, and on the path to be one of the first certified veterinary hospice practitioners in the world. (Dude. How many people get to be part of the world's first ANYTHING?)
I've gotten good enough with my crafting to win prizes for my crochet and my spinning. I remember the first skein of yarn that I spun, and how frustrating and lumpy and ugly it was. I've gotten good enough with aerials that my teacher is pushing me to perform, and to branch out into other apparatuses.
I cut my hair for the first time in almost 30 years. And in the process, I shed not just a foot of hair, but most of those 30 years of body-baggage. It's bizarre, but somehow getting rid of the one part of my appearance that I took the most pride in changed my body image enough to let me see myself with new eyes.
At the same time.... I lost another dear friend to cancer, and I'm still facing emotional aftershocks from that. My father started facebook-stalking me and having family members send me threatening messages. My husband was out of work again, and is still doing contract work. I spent nearly a year fighting to get the health insurance that we've been paying for all along, and dealing with collections agencies in the meantime.
My new car was rear-ended by a semi, and the trucking company is still refusing to take responsibility for the accident, and are fighting any request to pay for the repairs. I'm still dealing with residual pain from my spinal surgery. I've had pneumonia twice.
I've dealt with depression before, but this year it got bad enough to actually seek out meds. And owning my own practice has led to some toxic mental and behavioral patterns around work hours, as well as anxiety when calls don't come in as frequently as I hope they will.
It's been a roller-coaster of a year. I'm not the same person I was at the start. But... I think I like who I am right now.