Oh, boys . . .
So we had two days of Luke and Noah this week back to back (crazy I know!) and I find myself surprisingly Ok with the way things are playing out. Don't get me wrong, those boys are breaking my heart, but in that really great way that makes me remember why I love them so. Honestly all the NYC crap was a little boring not to mention annoying with the *one minute in Oakdale next we are in NYC where exactly are they sleeping and who the fuck exactly are blondie and bad actor guy and excuse me did you really just say political group back in Iraq* nonsense. None of that made a lick of sense and the plot holes annoyed me to no end and made me super cranky. It just was stupid.
But now we have had two days of the boys back in Oakdale and back to actual, you know, character driven scenes. sigh. Oh how I've missed you. Van and Jake do so much better imo when it's just them, in a room, and expressing the emotions of the boys. And yes thanks to nouveau_monday Van and Jake in a room makes me happy period and puts thoughts of Bollywood, blowjobs and X-Men in my head but I digress.
Maybe I'm just super happy that Noah is finally dealing and somewhat expressing the insane amount of shit he has been thru. Although note to the writers: boy needs a friend other than Luke. Some of us have been on this train for a minute and I nominate Dallas. Selfishly I find Wole hot and want him on my screen more but I also enjoyed the brief scenes he and Jake have had.
But it was just nice to watch Noah try to deal with what just happened. Losing a parent unexpectedly is a huge blow and having him need to take a break makes so much sense in my eyes. Maybe because I lived it. It's kinda hard to watch on screen truthfully but the fact that they have the poor boy confused and angry and and even kinda blaming Luke is so spot on. Because it's not about not loving Luke. Noah loves Luke more than his own life. It's about the what if. And you play that game when someone dies. I still play that game. It's about looking at Luke and wondering what if. That's why he needs a break. Not because he doesn't love him, not because he wants to date other people, not even because he blames Luke in the true sense of the word. He just needs to try and learn how not to feel those things when he looks at him. I remember being in a room and feeling like I was suffocating when anyone else was there. Even those that loved you the most. Not being able to think and wanting to just try and figure out how to start living again - and pushing everyone away to try and get there. I loved when Noah told Luke it wasn't about him. He feels out of control and useless and wants to help Ameera and fix everything because that is what Noah does and I just wanna hug him.
I dunno - it's been a little messy and complicated and it hurts and makes me sad and I am putting A LOT of my faith in Cyndi and the show but I'm Ok with this. Right now I'm Ok with this. Talk to me after July 3rd if I don't get my big fabulous Cyndi inspired reunion under the rainbow flag at Yo's followed by lots of sex but until then I can handle a few weeks of this. I think.
Poor poor boys. Now I'm off to watch them kiss again and maybe try and write more porn before bed. Because that makes EVERYTHING better. Yes, yes it does.
P.S. I miss Martha.
But now we have had two days of the boys back in Oakdale and back to actual, you know, character driven scenes. sigh. Oh how I've missed you. Van and Jake do so much better imo when it's just them, in a room, and expressing the emotions of the boys. And yes thanks to nouveau_monday Van and Jake in a room makes me happy period and puts thoughts of Bollywood, blowjobs and X-Men in my head but I digress.
Maybe I'm just super happy that Noah is finally dealing and somewhat expressing the insane amount of shit he has been thru. Although note to the writers: boy needs a friend other than Luke. Some of us have been on this train for a minute and I nominate Dallas. Selfishly I find Wole hot and want him on my screen more but I also enjoyed the brief scenes he and Jake have had.
But it was just nice to watch Noah try to deal with what just happened. Losing a parent unexpectedly is a huge blow and having him need to take a break makes so much sense in my eyes. Maybe because I lived it. It's kinda hard to watch on screen truthfully but the fact that they have the poor boy confused and angry and and even kinda blaming Luke is so spot on. Because it's not about not loving Luke. Noah loves Luke more than his own life. It's about the what if. And you play that game when someone dies. I still play that game. It's about looking at Luke and wondering what if. That's why he needs a break. Not because he doesn't love him, not because he wants to date other people, not even because he blames Luke in the true sense of the word. He just needs to try and learn how not to feel those things when he looks at him. I remember being in a room and feeling like I was suffocating when anyone else was there. Even those that loved you the most. Not being able to think and wanting to just try and figure out how to start living again - and pushing everyone away to try and get there. I loved when Noah told Luke it wasn't about him. He feels out of control and useless and wants to help Ameera and fix everything because that is what Noah does and I just wanna hug him.
I dunno - it's been a little messy and complicated and it hurts and makes me sad and I am putting A LOT of my faith in Cyndi and the show but I'm Ok with this. Right now I'm Ok with this. Talk to me after July 3rd if I don't get my big fabulous Cyndi inspired reunion under the rainbow flag at Yo's followed by lots of sex but until then I can handle a few weeks of this. I think.
Poor poor boys. Now I'm off to watch them kiss again and maybe try and write more porn before bed. Because that makes EVERYTHING better. Yes, yes it does.
P.S. I miss Martha.