In Memory
I don't really know what to say.
Nick died.
I don't know how to feel about it, either. We haven't been close for many years, I really only knew what he was up to by checking his facebook every now and then. The last time we spoke, he commented that I'd deleted him and I confirmed it, saying that I didn't need people like him in my life. People who made me feel less, people who I felt valued only what people could give them, only wanted the superficial in life.
It felt good to do that. And looking back through my lj today, looking at entries I'd tagged him in... no, I didn't need him in my life. I didn't want him there. It was by the death of another that we came together and while I have no regrets about the adventures we had, the long nights of driving aimlessly, the stupid music and singing and everything else, he wasn't a friend to me by the end. It was a mistake from the start, moving in with him, I even said that on here. But I did it anyway, as I always do and it lead me to bigger things.
I guess he lead me to things that are in my life even now, like Star Trek, Stargate, so much music.
I think the thing I feel guilty about is that last time I saw him, it was in JBHiFi in Bendigo and he was with his girlfriend. I didn't want him to feel awkward (plus I didn't look great), so I avoided him, deliberately hid.
I wish I'd said hello.
I wonder if he knew I was there.
I hope he was happy.
I've been trying to get in contact with Rick for about a year now. I miss him, as a friend. I realised how much I wronged him, how much of a spoiled little brat I was towards him. I wonder where he is, what he's doing, how life is going for him. Hopefully I can reach him soon, I really need to apologise for everything.
Nick died.
I don't know how to feel about it, either. We haven't been close for many years, I really only knew what he was up to by checking his facebook every now and then. The last time we spoke, he commented that I'd deleted him and I confirmed it, saying that I didn't need people like him in my life. People who made me feel less, people who I felt valued only what people could give them, only wanted the superficial in life.
It felt good to do that. And looking back through my lj today, looking at entries I'd tagged him in... no, I didn't need him in my life. I didn't want him there. It was by the death of another that we came together and while I have no regrets about the adventures we had, the long nights of driving aimlessly, the stupid music and singing and everything else, he wasn't a friend to me by the end. It was a mistake from the start, moving in with him, I even said that on here. But I did it anyway, as I always do and it lead me to bigger things.
I guess he lead me to things that are in my life even now, like Star Trek, Stargate, so much music.
I think the thing I feel guilty about is that last time I saw him, it was in JBHiFi in Bendigo and he was with his girlfriend. I didn't want him to feel awkward (plus I didn't look great), so I avoided him, deliberately hid.
I wish I'd said hello.
I wonder if he knew I was there.
I hope he was happy.
I've been trying to get in contact with Rick for about a year now. I miss him, as a friend. I realised how much I wronged him, how much of a spoiled little brat I was towards him. I wonder where he is, what he's doing, how life is going for him. Hopefully I can reach him soon, I really need to apologise for everything.