(no subject)
I was telling Kitty before about how last night when I bought midori, I got carded (asked for my ID). She thought I said "Cartered"... as in Sam Carter. Like as in the "Schmidt". I then proceeded to make up a sex position for Sam... which of course then carried onto the rest of SG-1.
So without further ado
The Sex Positions of the SGC
The Sam Carter - over a lab table, with a laptop open
The Daniel Jackson - in a pyramid, or some other ruin, covered in dust.
The Teal'c - in a tent, with a jaffa woman, as many times as possible, on fur rugs
The Jack O'Neill - on a double bed, TV on, beer on hand
The Janet Fraiser - involving lots of needles and little flashlights to make sure you're responsive
The Siler - in the MALP room, or on the Gate Ramp, with a large wrench.
The Walter Harriman - uh, it doesn't matter where, but as long as you count up the chevrons as you go.
The Vala - involving lots of vinyl.
The Ba'al - One word: Orgy! (With lots of the same... Ba'al)
The Jacob Carter/Selmak - involves wearing cow stomach lining
The Anubis - very oily. You'll feel like you don't even have a body.
The Ra - everyone knows that. It was broadcast.
The Yu - gets lost half way, involving the cuter man standing by watching.
The George Hammond - Briefing room table. There's a reason that table's so big.
The Bra'tac - Also known as the shrivel. No further explanation needed.
The Hank Landry - Can't decide where it goes.
The Cameron Mitchell - wants everyone involved. Wants to get the band back together.
The 'Alek - involves two guys you really can't tell apart (Malek and Dalek)
The Egeria - use protection, or you will have lots, and lots, and lots, and lots, and lots of babies.
The unas - Kinda horny, lots of grunting.
The Apophis - Just keeps coming back for more. Kinda snakey.
The Osiris - Gender not specified.
The Sokar - Very satanic.
The Seth - You'll be under the influence, incredibly dripping.
The Sha're - It's a special gift that you can't quite understand.
The Impotempt - You think you'll the whole way, but he'll blow before you do.
The Anise - Get the real Daniel out of Jack. Or vise versa.
The Martouf - Beware the puppy dog hat. It'll ruin everything.
The Dr Lee - Fitter then it looks.
The Jay Felger - There's fumbling involved, though it might not be happening.
Who's got something to add?
So without further ado
The Sex Positions of the SGC
The Sam Carter - over a lab table, with a laptop open
The Daniel Jackson - in a pyramid, or some other ruin, covered in dust.
The Teal'c - in a tent, with a jaffa woman, as many times as possible, on fur rugs
The Jack O'Neill - on a double bed, TV on, beer on hand
The Janet Fraiser - involving lots of needles and little flashlights to make sure you're responsive
The Siler - in the MALP room, or on the Gate Ramp, with a large wrench.
The Walter Harriman - uh, it doesn't matter where, but as long as you count up the chevrons as you go.
The Vala - involving lots of vinyl.
The Ba'al - One word: Orgy! (With lots of the same... Ba'al)
The Jacob Carter/Selmak - involves wearing cow stomach lining
The Anubis - very oily. You'll feel like you don't even have a body.
The Ra - everyone knows that. It was broadcast.
The Yu - gets lost half way, involving the cuter man standing by watching.
The George Hammond - Briefing room table. There's a reason that table's so big.
The Bra'tac - Also known as the shrivel. No further explanation needed.
The Hank Landry - Can't decide where it goes.
The Cameron Mitchell - wants everyone involved. Wants to get the band back together.
The 'Alek - involves two guys you really can't tell apart (Malek and Dalek)
The Egeria - use protection, or you will have lots, and lots, and lots, and lots, and lots of babies.
The unas - Kinda horny, lots of grunting.
The Apophis - Just keeps coming back for more. Kinda snakey.
The Osiris - Gender not specified.
The Sokar - Very satanic.
The Seth - You'll be under the influence, incredibly dripping.
The Sha're - It's a special gift that you can't quite understand.
The Impotempt - You think you'll the whole way, but he'll blow before you do.
The Anise - Get the real Daniel out of Jack. Or vise versa.
The Martouf - Beware the puppy dog hat. It'll ruin everything.
The Dr Lee - Fitter then it looks.
The Jay Felger - There's fumbling involved, though it might not be happening.
Who's got something to add?