OMG, so happy!
Today I've been happy all day long for absolutely no damn reason. Yep, you read that right. No, I didn't lose it. Today I took my first prozac. Yea, I felt a little odd at first during the onset, even woozy and I even swayed a little bit. But when that passed, a grand thing happened to me. Waves of happiness came over me, washing over me and rinsing away the depression and emotional pain I was enduring. I haven't felt this happy in years, such a long time I forgot what it feels like to be this happy.
Indeed this happiness is drug induced, but that doesn't mean it is any less meaningful. I've needed happiness like this for quite a while.
Earlier in the morning, I had to take my dad to BAMC (Brooke Army Medical Center) for his pre-operative appointment. While we were there, the antidepressant I was given yesterday had worn off, and I crashed, and came off the high. That took two and a half hours for me to come down. Yea, I was higher than a kite and I didn't even realize it until the crash. I was nauseous the whole time, but was okay when it was over, well mostly. So even though it made me sick an hour after I took it, I still absorbed enough of it to last me a day and some hours. This gives me an incentive to take my prozac at 12:30 tomorrow, as that will be 24 hours (+/- 15 mins) since I took the one earlier today. I don't want to feel that again. Plus, I rather like this happiness.
Another note about the crash earlier: I was at BAMC for the entire duration, so I really wasn't worried about any critical consequences of it, since the ER was like RIGHT FREAKING THERE!
And unlike yesterday, my regular avoidance routine actually worked. Yes, I get nauseous often enough, I've developed a routine to help keep me from vomiting. It works most of the time.
Indeed this happiness is drug induced, but that doesn't mean it is any less meaningful. I've needed happiness like this for quite a while.
Earlier in the morning, I had to take my dad to BAMC (Brooke Army Medical Center) for his pre-operative appointment. While we were there, the antidepressant I was given yesterday had worn off, and I crashed, and came off the high. That took two and a half hours for me to come down. Yea, I was higher than a kite and I didn't even realize it until the crash. I was nauseous the whole time, but was okay when it was over, well mostly. So even though it made me sick an hour after I took it, I still absorbed enough of it to last me a day and some hours. This gives me an incentive to take my prozac at 12:30 tomorrow, as that will be 24 hours (+/- 15 mins) since I took the one earlier today. I don't want to feel that again. Plus, I rather like this happiness.
Another note about the crash earlier: I was at BAMC for the entire duration, so I really wasn't worried about any critical consequences of it, since the ER was like RIGHT FREAKING THERE!
And unlike yesterday, my regular avoidance routine actually worked. Yes, I get nauseous often enough, I've developed a routine to help keep me from vomiting. It works most of the time.