Musings....
WOW, has it really been so long since I have posted. My life is just moving faster than I ever imagined it could. In the last month so much has changed I can't begin to put it into words. I guess that is why I am back here. It's as if my life has hit another evolutionary point. Brian and I are becoming friends again nice to see that finding it's way. I've become immensely happy with the direction I am looking. But yet as happy as I am I find I am again restless. Time for more, it seems I can stay awake eternally and never accomplish all I dream to. I have been taking the past month as a revamp phase. Going over my life evaluating what I can improve and what I can do nothing about. Devising a plan of action on the former and coming to terms with the later. The degree is once again become my all important goal, I had to set it aside for practical reasons for a bit but the hunger for it ...the need to achieve and move to the next level is gnawing at my very soul and once more it refuses to be ignored. So many obstacles have come my way delaying the completion of this particular goal that my level of frustration has significantly increased. I'm in such an odd mood as of right this moment. It seems this month has also been full of death. The most significant one being the death of the youngest member of my first gaming clan on his 16th birthday in a fatal car accident. I wonder sometimes if it isn't the specter of death that often spurs my ambitions beyond that of the average human. It feels so often as if I am running to make up for lost time. I can only hope to give the boys a better push than I had. Being sheltered in childhood had it's advantages but in someways I feel it retarded the personal growth my soul seems so hungry for. Aye, me as they sigh in the old shakespearian plays. Break is over and it is time to return to the world of madness I have so recently chosen over the world of comfortable complacency...what WAS I thinking.