(no subject)
I don't need replies... I don't need anything... just let me rant and get things out of my system.
Why was I born? Why was even remotely even fucking made to be brought into this god forsaken piece of shit of a world? I hate my life... practically everything in it even. I feel like a rag doll being pulled this way and that. I can't do anything approriate that my mother sees worthy or just of me. No matter what I do, no matter what I say, its never good enough anymore. I'm tired of it, sick of the negativeness I get day in and day out. I just wish this whole damn world would fucking explode, because frankly its what seems to ease my mind. Heh. Yeah a Cloverfield incident might do this nation some good. Ripping things apart, feeling like everything is coming to an end; peace and tranquility right there.
I'm sick of being harassed why I do this, why I do that, what the fuck do you people want of me? I can only do so much and its never good enough. Always the same thing... money. Yes I know I owe rent weekly, yet my father insists to ask as if I'm some damn dimwit that can't understand responsibility. Hello asshole... that is my priority! Why do you think I moved back home to listen to you two holler and call each other names? Wow maybe you need time to think maybe it gets on my damn nerves? Then he goes to her and demands an answer if she got the money from me or not. What the fuck I ask?! I mean I keep to my part of this arranged bullshit don't I? Its why I moved home to take care of the fuckups I placed myself in. I'm starting to wonder if I was better off lying in a hole and drowning like I was at the apartment. Wondering day by day what other fucking things were going wrong, that was my daily bread.
*breathes*
I need to get my head on straight.. need to breathe a little before I head off to work. I have priorities and dreams to accomplish, and I'm glad some of you out there are willing to help me see those goals. I don't need to go into detail, because you know who you are. For now I just needed to let that screaming soul of mine voice its opinion. Maybe now I can move on with my life and revive a little more. We'll see...
~Lady S