Fic: Doctor Patient Confidentiality Chapter 07
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Title: Doctor Patient Confidentiality Ch.07
Please see Master Post for fic details.
What the hell had Jensen gotten himself into this time? Like it hadn’t been bad enough agreeing to go out with Christian in the first place, deluding himself into believing that he was doing the right thing by using Christian as a distraction but then Jared had to step in and play hero. Not that Jensen hadn’t appreciated it, he wasn’t a girl but he couldn’t help but feel warmed by Jared standing up for him but, damn it, now he had the damn guy trailing behind him and he didn’t know what he was supposed to do.
Oh, he knew what he wanted to do, throw Jared against the nearest wall and show his appreciation for being made feel like he was worth more than a quick fuck but it wasn’t what he was supposed to do. What he was supposed to do was swallow his pride, thank Jared for coming to his aid and then send him on his way because Jared was still jailbait and Jensen really wasn’t supposed to be feeling the things he did for him.
He wasn’t supposed to have pressed back into Jared’s warmth when Jared had pulled him back against him. He wasn’t supposed to just stand there and let Jared run his fingers down Jensen’s arm like he had a right. And he sure as hell wasn’t supposed to like it.
And now the worst part was that he could feel Jared pressed up behind him, his hand hot and possessive on Jensen’s hip as he led them through the club to the exit and he knew that Jared was expecting something. He wasn’t sure what that something was exactly but he knew that it was his fault because he had let Jared defend him and then asked him if he wanted to leave with Jensen. And the problem was, Jensen was pretty sure he wanted to give Jared whatever it was that he wanted. Because Jensen, well Jensen wanted it too.
Pushing through the metal door of the club, Jensen took a deep breath of the cool night air, hoping that it would settle the heat coursing through him but not really surprised when it didn’t.
Jared’s hand slid from his hip and across his stomach, pulling them impossibly closer and it took all of Jensen’s will power to keep moving forward. “Jensen?”
It was that little bit of hesitancy in Jared’s voice that did it for Jensen. That tiny show of insecurity that proved that Jared wasn’t anything like Christian, sure he was confident and would go after what, who, he wanted but he wasn’t so self absorbed that he didn’t know that there was a chance of not getting things his way and that was all Jensen needed.
Spinning in Jared’s hold, he smiled up at him as he continued to walk backwards, forcing Jared to follow him or let him go. “Yes?”
“What are you…? What are we doing?”
Out of the corner of Jensen’s eye he saw the dark walkway between the club and the building beside it. Grabbing Jared’s hand, he pulled it from around his waist and dragged him into the shadows before pushing Jared up against the wall. “Why did you do that?” He asked as he pressed his body up against Jared’s, “Go after Christian like that?”
Jared groaned low as Jensen curled his fingers into the thin material of his t-shirt and wrapped his own hands around his hips. “Because that guy is an asshole and you do deserve better, Jensen.”
“Do I?” He breathed against the underside of Jared’s chin, pressing himself closer until there was no space between them. He could feel Jared’s heart pounding against his chest, feel his fingers twitch and tighten on Jensen’s hips and felt the blood surge hot in his veins. This was what he had been wanting, Jared without his walls and the bullshit games between them. He wanted the real Jared and he was pretty sure he was getting it.
His head titled down and he met Jensen’s gaze, his eyes clear but dark, so very, very dark. “Yeah, you do.”
He couldn’t help himself, he had spent too long thinking about Jared, wondering what it would be like to feel Jared’s lips pressed against his own. Pressing up, he let his lips drag against Jared’s in a tease that he could only hope Jared would respond too. “And who would be better for me, Jared?”
Jared growled and twisted them around so that Jensen was pressed up against the wall. “Me.” He muttered before covering Jensen’s mouth with his own.
There was nothing soft about the kiss, Jared knew what he wanted and he was taking it with teeth and tongue. Jensen groaned softly as Jared nipped at his bottom lip before letting his mouth open for him. He had expected the taste of booze and something burned cold inside him when he didn’t. It meant that Jared was sober, had been sober, while he was trying to fuck through the clientele of Heat but he forced the hurt down. They both had had their own way of trying to deal with whatever it was between them, for Jared it had been sex, and for Jensen it had been accepting a date with Christian and yet here they were. Besides, it was hard to feel hurt with the taste of Jared exploding against his tongue. It was a taste that Jensen could get addicted to, was already addicted to, and he could image spending the rest of his life chasing it.
Don’t think like that. He chastised himself silently, his traitorous mind treading along a path that he didn’t want to go down. He didn’t want to think about tomorrow or the next day or the next week, he just wanted to feel for a change and keep believing that Jared had stood up to Christian because he cared more that just wanting Jensen for a quick fuck.
Dragging his palms down Jared’s chest, he threaded his fingers through Jared’s belt loops and curled his leg high around his thighs, using both to tug him impossibly closer. Pulling his mouth away to hiss as his jean covered cock slid against the hard bulge in Jared’s jeans.
“Fuck.” He groaned as Jared made a path down his neck with stinging nips.
“Want you.” Jared pressed into the thin skin between his neck and shoulder. “Since the first day I saw you, I wanted you spread out beneath me, begging for my cock.”
Jensen’s hips jerked at the words, his mind spinning the image in Technicolor clarity behind his eyes. “Jesus.”
“You want that, Jensen?” His hands slid to the small of Jensen’s back, his long fingers worming between his jeans and skin.
“Yes.” He panted and tightened the leg wrapped around Jared’s thighs. He was so close already, but it wasn’t surprising, he had been thinking about Jared like this since that first day and between that and Jared’s dirty mouth he was pretty much lost. “Jay.”
Jared chuckled but the sound was breathless and his hips were working against Jensen in a parody of what Jensen really wanted. The cold brick at his back was scraping against his skin and though it should have been painful it only made what was happening better, made it real. This wasn’t Jensen in his bed or in the shower fantasizing about this happening, Jared really was pressed against him pushing him higher and higher and he could feel his balls start to tighten. He was going to come with Jared’s lips pressed against his in a sloppy kiss that was more breath than anything else and he wouldn’t have it any other way.
A burst of laughter from the sidewalk brought him up short.
What the hell was he doing? Not only was he just a step away from an indecency charge but he was a step away from an indecency charge with a minor.
“Wait.” He hissed, dropping his leg back to the ground and gently but firmly pushing Jared back, instantly missing the heat from Jared’s body. Gritting his teeth against his own body screaming at him for putting a stop to what was happening, he panted out a breath. “Jared wait.”
“What?” Jared growled and for a brief second, Jensen was pretty sure that he was going to press back in but at the last second he ran a hand roughly through his hair and took another step back. “Don’t do this.” He muttered, “Don’t pretend that there isn’t something between us.”
The only light in the little walkway came from the ambient light filtering in from the street but it didn’t hide the look of pain in Jared’s eyes and something in Jensen broke. It was a little too close to home, that look, he had seen it too many times in the past staring back at him from his bathroom mirror. It froze the words he knew he should say in his throat because he understood that pain just a little too well and he wasn’t Christian anymore than Jared was.
“I’m not.” He forced past a dry throat, fighting against himself to take back the words. He didn’t want to be this guy; he had worked so long at pretending that he didn’t need anyone in his life that admitting the truth almost psychically hurt. “But we can’t, not here, not now.”
“Why?”
“Other than I’m pretty sure you’re parents would kill me if you got charged with public indecency? You might be sober but I’m not and I want us both clear headed for this.”
Jared took a step forward and then another until he could curl his hands around Jensen’s hips again. “So it’s going to happen though. You’re finally finished pretending that you don’t care?”
It was a fight not to throw caution to the wind and press back up against Jared, consequences be damned but he had been serious about both of them being sober if something was going to happen between them. Not so much for his own sake but for Jared’s because he couldn’t help but remember how Jared had or really hadn’t reacted the first time Jensen had come on to him only a couple nights before and he wanted Jared to have some time to think this through without adrenaline racing through him fucking with his libido.
“Yeah, I’m done.” It was liberating to admit to his feelings for Jared out loud but it didn’t stop him from turning his head away when Jared leaned back in for another kiss. “But I want you to take the weekend and think about this Jared, really think about it honestly. I want you to know what you want.”
Jared grinned softly, “Still being the doc, Jensen?”
Just don’t want to be hurt in the morning by looking in your eyes and seeing when you realize you made a mistake. He might think it but he wasn’t going to admit to it, “Always.”
He didn’t back down when Jared leaned in again and pressed his lips against Jensen’s in a chaste kiss. “Fine, I’ll see you on Monday.” Slowly he backed away until he was back on the street, “But just so you know, two days isn’t going to change anything.”
Jensen leaned back against the brick wall and watched him disappear from sight, heart pounding for a different reason. “I hope not.”
Jared decides against taking a bus or cab home, preferring to walk and use the time to think. Part of him is exhilarated that Jensen finally admitted to wanting him, and even acted on it, the other part is scared as hell and he’s not sure why. It looked like he was finally gonna get what he’s been longing for, so why should he have this stomach-twisting sensation, this fear? Was he scared he wouldn’t meet Jensen’s expectations in bed? Nah, Jared thought with a shake of his head. He had been telling the truth; he was an awesome lay, Jensen would be more than satisfied with his performance. Then what the hell? Jared let it go, and turned down a side street.
Jared licks his lips still tasting Jensen, still feeling the phantom of Jensen’s touches. Jared had been on fire while he devoured Jensen’s plush mouth. He tasted just like Jared had imagined, smoky and sweet. Jared thinks he’d be a happy man if he were able to taste that mouth anytime he wanted for the rest of his life. The hell did that come from? He wonders. He’s seventeen for fucks sake; the “rest of his life” is a long damn time and he’s associating it with Jensen? What the hell is wrong with him?
Jensen was right about one thing though. Jared didn’t want Jensen drunk if-when-they gave into the tension between them. Jared wonders when that happened. When he first laid eyes on Jensen he would have taken him any way he could get him. But now, he wants Jensen stone cold sober, drunk on only his need for Jared, on Jared’s kisses, Jared’s touch and Jared sure as hell didn’t want the first time he made love to Jensen to be up against a brick wall. That thought actually made Jared stop in his tracks because, what the fuck? Made love? Jared shook his head. He had been with many, many, guys maybe even loved a couple of them but he never used the term ‘made love’ in association with any of them.
That Christian guy really was beyond an asshole if he couldn’t see how great of a guy Jensen was. Jared could see it even though he really knew next to nothing about the guy personally. Jared doesn’t need to; he has good instincts and can read people. He knows all he needs to about Jensen. He knows Jensen has been done wrong in his love life and probably thinks Jared’s gonna do more of the same. Jared wants to show Jensen that he’s wrong. Is he? A part of his mind asks. Jared rolls his eyes at himself. Of course Jensen’s wrong. Jared doesn’t wanna hurt Jensen, doesn’t wanna inflict pain, (unless he found out that Jensen’s into that kind of thing) just wants to give pleasure, make Jensen smile his crinkle-eyed smile, and make him laugh. Make him happy.
Jared tries not to think about things too much as he continues his walk home. He knows one thing, when he gets home he’s gotta call Chad.
Jared slipped soundlessly into the house and up the stairs and into his room. He stripped out of his sweaty club clothes before hopping in for a quick cold shower. The walk home and his confusing thoughts had done little to curb his erection. Considering the amount of fucking Jared had done at Heat he was more than a little surprised he has been able to get it up in the alley with Jensen. When it was clear the water wasn’t going to help, Jared wrapped his fingers around his erection. With just a couple of well-practiced strokes Jared was coming harder than he had all night, Jensen’s name a groan from between his lips.
Jared shut the water off, stepped out of the shower, and quickly toweled off. He slipped into a pair of worn blue sweats and went back into his room. With a heavy sigh he reached for his cell and speed dialed Chad’s number. He didn’t think the guy would like be woken up at nearly three in the morning, but damn it, he needed to talk to someone.
Chad’s phone rang a handful of times before a very groggy and grumpy sounding Chad Michael Murray came across the line.
“You better be callin’ me to help your ass bury a dead body cuz that’s the only reason you can possibly give for callin’ so fuckin’ late.”
Jared smiled and shook his head. “Naw. Got rid of the body myself,” Jared quipped.
He heard the creak of Chad’s bed as the other young man sat up. “So it’s an alibi ya need then.”
Jared was tempted to say something smart assed back, but he was tired and confused. “No, he said softly and played with a thread on his comforter. “My friend.”
Chad was quiet for a moment before he answered voice gently and coaxing. “Well, ya got ‘im, so spill.”
And Jared does. He goes through his night at Heat, his wide variety of conquests until he saw Jensen, goes into detail about that asshole, Craig or Chris or whatever the hell his name had been. As he does his voice hardens and sharpens as he recounts those particular details of the evening anger flares inside him again at the thought of Jensen struggling to get away from the short guy’s touch. As if the son of a bitch had the right to touch Jensen. He absolutely did not! Then, he tells Chad about his and Jensen’s brief oh-so-brief make out session in the ally. He tells Chad all of his confusing thoughts he had had on his walk home. When he is done Chad is silent for several beats before huffing exasperatedly like Jared is the stupidest person on the planet and how dare he interrupt Chad’s sleep for something that is as painfully obvious as this.
“You’re such a loser sometimes, Jay. I can’t believe we’re friends,” Chad said with a sound that sounded like a sigh and a yawn.
Jared rolled his eyes. “Shut up, asshole. I’m having issues right now and you’re being a dick instead of helping me,” Jared said.
“Oh…my…God,” Chad said voice soft with awe. Jared’s blood cools because Chad never sounds like that. Ever.
Jared fidgets nervously and swallows hard. “What?” He responds in a small voice.
There is a lengthy pause from the other end of the line.
Inside Jared his fear and tension ratchets up. “Chad?”
“You really don’t get it do you?” Chad says finally, voice still having that shocked quality. “Jesus Christ, Jay.”
Jared groans in frustration. Jared hates that Chad seems to understand something about himself when Jared doesn’t. He rakes his hand through his hair and huffs out a breath. “Just spill it already!”
“You’re in love with him, ya fuckin’ moron. Like, for real, in love,” Chad says sounding exasperated and shocked.
Jared feels like he’s been struck by lightning. He’s not in love with Jensen, in lust, sure, but not love. Hell, Jared’s not even sure he even believes in love. “What? No. I’m not,” Jared says but his voice sounds far away.
“Uh, yeah ya are, dude. Listen to me. How often you think about Dr. Feelgood?” Chad asked. “And when you think about him you just thinkin about fuckin’ him? Get a flutter in your stomach when ya look at him an’ shit? How about you gettin’ jealous and goin’ all caveman tonight? Hmm?” Chad asks voice smug.
Fuck. He had been jealous. He just hadn’t realized it at the time because jealousy wasn’t an emotion Jared was familiar with, but now he knows without a doubt that it was jealousy burning in his veins at the thought of that Christian guy with his hands on a unwilling Jensen, jealous of those other two guys he had seen Jensen dancing with on Wednesday. But that was possession, not love.
“What the fuck do you even know about love, Murray,” Jared asks stalling for time. He was not, absolutely was not, in love with Jensen.
“Hey! Don’t get pissy with me, fucker. I know about love cuz I’ve been in it. Hell, I was even in love with you for a little while.”
Okay, and now Jared just feels paralyzed because what the ever loving fuck? Chad was in love with him?
“You’re in love with me?” Jared asks voice a squeak. He thinks his brain may just shut down from the revelations that keep hitting him over the head.
“Was, dude. I was. I’m not now.”
“But…but…how…fuck! When?”
Chad chuckles and Jared can hear the headshake in it. “Back when we were kids. Like, when we first hooked up. What were we, 14? Yeah, you took my ass-cherry and I fell for you. I’m a romantic like that.”
Jared was getting a headache. He pressed his forehead to the heel of his hand. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
“Cuz you were my best friend, Jay. I was, you know, scared. I knew you didn’t feel that kind of love for me and I didn’t wanna mess things up between us,” Chad sounded uncharacteristically serious now. There was a long pause. “I haven’t, have I?” Chad asked sounding a little scared.
“What? No, dude. You said yourself you didn’t feel that way for me anymore. I wish maybe I had known back then, maybe things-“
“No, dude. It woulda messed things up big time between us. I like what we have now. We fool around...or we used to ‘til you fell ass over tea kettle for the good doc, trust each other completely, and have no secrets. We wouldn’t be where we are now if I’da been stupid enough to tell you back then I loved your lanky ass.”
Jared had to hand it to Chad. Even though it was after three in the morning Chad was talking sense, droppin’ some serious wisdom on him even. He squeezed the bridge of his nose between his thumb and forefinger. Well, Chad was talking sense about them, not about his feelings for Jensen.
“I do not love him. I just wanna fuck him. I don’t even know the guy.”
“Look, dude. You full-on defended the doc’s honor! That’s not something you do for a casual fuck. Shit, Jay, I’m your best friend and you’ve never done that for me.”
“That’s cuz you have no fuckin’ honor to defend,” Jared said, lightly, but inside his mind was turning things Chad was saying over, and he was dizzy with all the implications.
“Fuck you, asshat. I’m made of honor. Now, if you don’t mind I was havin’ an awesome dream in which my ass was gettin’ plowed by Tyler Durden and if you don’t mind I’d kinda like to get back to it.”
With that the line clicked and went dead. Jared hit the ‘end’ button on his cell and fell back on the bed. If he wasn’t confused before he sure the shit was now. Chad didn’t know anything and knew even less about love, no matter what the blond had said had never been in love himself. What Jared needed was to talk to someone who really had been in love. Talking to his parents was out of the question and Sandy…well Sandy was a woman and her ideas of love were apt to be vastly different from a man’s. With that there really was only one person he could call.
He picks up the phone and dials a number he thought he’d never have need of-at least where matters of his love life were concerned, his big brother.
The line rings and rings and rings before a gruff, sleepy voice of Jeff carries across the line.
“Who the hell is this?” Jeff asks angrily.
Jared swallows hard, Chad’s words running circles in his brain. “You’re in love with him ya fuckin’ moron.”
“Jeff?” Jared asks, voice small voice.
There is shifting on the end of the line and Jeff’s breathing picks up. “Jared? What’s wrong? What’s happened? Mom and Dad okay? Meggie?” He rattles off.
Jared’s not surprised by the reaction of course Jeff would think something would have to be wrong for Jared to call in the middle of the might…or very early morning.
“No,” Jared sighs heavily already regretting having made this call.
There is a pause in which Jared hears Jeff mutter something to Nichole, the bed creak and a door close.
“Jared?” Jeff asks voice still thick with sleep, but now laced with concern. “Are you okay?”
Jared sighs again, shakily, tears stinging his eyes. “No.” He says the word coming out choked. He can feel the phantom of Jensen’s hands on him, his lips. Hear echo of the hurtful words after their kiss.
“What happened? Are you hurt? What do you need?” Jeff asks quickly.
“I….” Jared stops, unsure which question to answer first. “I’m fine.” Jared rolls his eyes at the lie. “I’m not hurt…not physically anyway,” Jared looks down at his bruised knuckles, feels the sting of his split lip.
“Okay,” Jeff says, and Jared can hear the nod in his voice.
“I…well, my friend Chad he…he…”
“That little blond asshole?”
Jared rolls his eyes. Everyone thinks Chad is a jerk and most of the time he is but Jared knows better. “Yeah, the blond.”
“What he do? Steal your boyfriend?”
Jared huffs out a laugh. Yeah, people would think Chad capable of doing that, too bad their taste in guys is so different that it would never happen, not to mention Chad would never be that much of a jerk.
“No. He…he thinks I’m… in love.”
“Awww. My little brother got bitten by the love bug,” Jeff teases. “Is that where you went the other night? To see your main squeeze?”
Jared laughs and rolls his eyes. “Shuddup.”
“Hey,” Jeff says mock serious. “I’m allowed to rip on my baby brother.”
“Remind me why I thought you would be the right person to call?” Jared says rubbing his forehead where a headache is starting to pound.
Jeff clears his throat and the line is quiet for a few seconds. “Okay. So, who is the guy?”
Jared cannot even begin to get into that with Jeff. “This guy I met and my doc’s office,” Jared said not feeling a bit guilty because it was the truth. “But I…Chad’s wrong. I like the guy, sure. I wanna fuck him, but I am not in love with him.” Jared says emphatically.
“Ahh, methinks thou doth protest too much,” Jeff quotes.
Jared rolled his eyes. “Not you too,” he moans. “He’s a hot guy and I just wanna fuck him,” he insists, but his gut twists when he realizes he’s talking about Jensen like that, like he really does mean nothing more to him than a notch in his headboard and that is so very, very wrong.
“Jay, its obvious you’re attracted to the guy. But only you know if it’s just attraction, infatuation, or something deeper. And I think you do know, Jared.”
Jared took a deep breath. “I’ve never…never felt like this before,” he says voice soft with wonderment, because he knows Chad is right. He’s in love with Jensen.
Head cradled in his hands and elbows propped up on the kitchen bar, Jensen stared down at the cooling cup of coffee in front of him. More than once during the course of his on again, off again relationship with Christian he had considered just packing up and taking off and not leaving a forwarding address. Just starting over somewhere where no one knew him and he could have a clean slate but he always managed to convince himself that his life wasn’t that bad, that he was a better person than to run away.
Right now he wasn’t so sure.
By the time he had gotten back to his apartment the night before he knew he had made yet another mistake. Not that he had lied to Jared, he did want him, wanted him so damn bad that he ached but that didn’t mean that he could have him. Jared was only seventeen and Jensen was twenty-six years old and it would not work between them. They were in two different places in their lives and beyond that, Jensen was a big enough man to know that he was completely fucked up. The fact that he wanted Jared only proved that, he knew what a much older lover could do to someone so young and if he really cared about Jared he would just walk away now and be done with it. If he didn’t, even deluding himself into thinking otherwise, he would be no better than Christian.
Oh he could tell himself different, that because he had been in Jared’s shoes that he knew all the things not to say and how not to act but in the end it wouldn’t make any difference. Eventually he would catch Jared doing something or planning something with his friends and tell him no. It might be for Jared’s own good but it wasn’t Jensen’s place to stop him, suggest but not forbid it. And he couldn’t promise himself that he wouldn’t try forbidding Jared because he cared about him, maybe, maybe even loved him.
Jensen shook his head before tightening his fingers in his hair. How in the hell had he fallen in love with the guy? It’s not like they had ever had any in depth discussions to get to really know each other. Not really, and what little Jared did tell him was only because Jensen was his psychologist not because he wanted too. And Jared didn’t know fuck all about Jensen, he choked out a bitter laugh, other than the fact that he had shitty taste when it came to guys and, of course, that he fucked around with random men.
That really wasn’t making Jensen feel any better about what had happened between them the night before. Yes it was true that he still believed that Jared wasn’t Christian, that he actually gave a damn about Jensen but that didn’t mean that he had any deep feelings for him.
Uncurling the fingers of one hand from his hair, he pushed the cup away from him and dropped his forehead on the counter.
“Fuck.” He groaned and let his eyes fall closed trying to push away the feeling rising up in him to pack it in and get the hell out of town. If he didn’t run away when things had gotten so screwed up because of Christian then he wasn’t going to do it now.
Forcing himself up, Jensen stumbled out of the kitchen and towards the hallway. Come Monday, he was going to have to tell Jared that nothing could happen between them and try to explain that it was for Jared’s own good. Hopefully he wouldn’t have to tell him about his first hand experience with an older man and why he fucking knew it wasn’t a good idea.
Then, no matter how much it was going to hurt to even lose Jared as a patient, he was going to have to release him from his care. It was the only way he was going to be able to stay strong against the young man and his own screwed up desires.
Bouncing off the doorjamb as he headed into the bathroom toward the shower, Jensen had to fight down the urge to start throwing things. He wasn’t doing this because of his own fear of being used; he was doing this for Jared. He was doing the right thing.
Didn’t explain why he felt like such a coward.
Jared woke up around 10:30ish on Saturday with all the sounds and smells accompanying it; coffee brewing, bacon and eggs frying, and his sister laughing as she thumped up and down the stairs. He didn’t want to get out of bed. He supposed realizing you were really in love for the first time could take a lot out of you. He felt kind of hung over despite that fact that not a drop passed his lips the night before. Jared knew where ever he was Jensen was probably freaking out over what happened between them last night, probably marshalling his arguments, and all the reasons why they can’t be together. The thought makes his chest clench painfully. He wants Jensen so bad, needs him like he needs air, and now that he understands the depth of his feelings for Jensen he doesn’t want to imagine his life without Jensen in it. School is good, his friends are great, his home life is leaves little to be desired, but for that hour when he’s with Jensen Jared is truly happy. The sessions themselves may be uncomfortable or unpleasant, but knowing that at the end of the day he would get to see Jensen in his ridiculously sexy glasses, hear his voice, made Jared’s whole day seem brighter, easier to get through.
He thinks now that he had either been a fool or blind not to have realized he was in love with Jensen before. Chad was right. He thought about Jensen all the time, and did indeed get a fluttering in his stomach when he did. He also wants to learn everything about him. What was his favorite color is. What stuffed animal did he used sleep with as a child? For Jared it had been a brown bear missing an eye named “Pirate” and Jared may or may not have said bear hidden in his closet. He wants to know what Jensen’s fears are. He wants to know what his favorite food is. He wants to know about Jensen’s family. Does he have brothers and sisters? Were his parents still living? Does he have a good relationship with them? What made him want to get into his profession? Every little detail. Of course he wants to learn the more intimate details about Jensen, too. What turns him on? What drives him crazy in bed? What’s his favorite position? What sounds does he make? Does he talk dirty? What does he look like when he’s coming?
“Jared?” Jared’s eyes snap open when he hears the knock at his door. “You awake?” His mother asks.
Jared groans and sits up, back and neck popping and cracking. “Gettin’ there,” he says.
“Well, hurry up if you want some breakfast,” she said and Jared could hear her departing footsteps.
Jared stood, stretched, and ambled downstairs. There was a steaming plate with three eggs and five strips of bacon, toast, and a cup of coffee. Jared’s mouth watered.
“Before you eat your father wants to have a talk with you. He’s in his office.” She took the plate meant for Jared away. Jared scowled. “Don’t worry. I’ll keep it warm for you. Go on.”
Jared rolled his eyes but left the kitchen.
He walked into his father’s home office and closed the door behind him. Gerald was sitting behind his desk in his cushy over-priced leather chair, steepled his hands together and regarded Jared with almost comic seriousness. He hated when his dad went all “Ward Clever” on him.
“Son, we need to have a talk,” his father said seriously.
Jared scoffed and rolled his eyes. Nothing got on Jared’s nerves faster than his father using that condescending tone and calling him “son” because since Jared came out his father rarely treated him as a son, more like a stranger.
“I know you were out late last night, Jared,” Gerald began, unlacing his fingers and sitting back in his extra lumbar support chair.
Jared said nothing. If his father was gonna wait for him to confess to being out way past his curfew he could sit in that chair forever.
“I would like for you to tell me where and with whom you were with.”
Jared longs to say “I was at this awesome gay night club! I fucked so many tight assholes I thought I had cum my brains out. OH! And when I was there I ran into my shrink. And guess what, he totally wants me! I even made out with him in the alley.” But Jared just shakes his head. “With a friend.” Jared says, mumbles more like.
“Would this friend be that blond boy?” Gerald asks leaning forward, hand once again clasped and resting on the desk in front of him.
“No,” he says crossing his arms over his chest.
“I’m not sure I believe you, son.”
“Well, I wasn’t!” Jared says sharply. “If you must know I was with Sandy.”
Gerald’s eyes widen and a small pleased, maybe even a little proud, smile perks up the corners of his mouth. “Really?” Gerald says and the tone in his voice clearly states that it is more than OK that Jared was out til nearly 3 in the morning with a girl. Jared doesn’t worry about the lie. He knows Sandy will cover for him without a second thought.
“Yes,” he says, gritting his teeth.
“Well, it seems those sessions with that doctor are doing some good,” Gerald said.
Come Monday the sessions are gonna greatly improve my sex life, but Jared just smiled a tight smile back at his father.
Gerald stood and came around to Jared, laying a meaty hand on Jared’s shoulder. “Just make sure you are careful, won’t you, son?” He whispered confidentially into Jared’s ear.
And that Jared had no trouble agreeing to.
Chapter 06 / Chapter 08