Fic: Ebb And Flow
Title: Ebb and Flow
Word Count: 4,298
Pairing: Jensen/Jared
Rating: N/C-17
Warnings: Swearing, fisting, bondage, D/S theme
Disclaimer: Jensen Ackles and Jared Padalecki own themselves and this is fiction.
Summary: Jensen wants to play but Jared has a lesson for him to learn.
A/N: This is the third installment in my Teaching Jensen verse - or at least that's what I'm calling it this week. Also I need to apologize to everyone that I told that I was going to try to have this up by the end of last month. Sorry Big Bang ate my brain in April and RL has been hell this month. Oh and most of this was written while I was hopped up on cold and pain medication so please to be kindly pointing out any mistakes, inconsistencies and you know the cost comparision between NyQuil and NeoCitran if it's in there. Thanks.
So the thing is that Jensen knew he was out of his depth when he first pulled the collar out of the box he had found under Jared’s side of the bed, with shaking hands and an incredulous look. He knew it when he was staring at it, sitting innocently on the bed inches from his crossed legs and trying to decide if he was pissed at his boyfriend for going behind his back and buying it or nervously intrigued with the idea. Knew it the whole time he was making arrangements for the dogs to be out of the house for the night. Knew it as he stripped down, prepped himself and made his way down the stairs to wait for Jared. Knew it and almost backed out of the whole deal when his lover called to tell him he was running late and figured he’d be at least another couple of hours. He even knew it as he heard Jared’s key turn in the lock and gingerly dropped to his knees on the cold tile to wait for his reaction.
That had been seven weeks before and although he no longer felt like he was floundering around completely in the dark, he wasn’t arrogant enough to believe that he had a handle on what was going on between them. At least not completely.
Especially now that he was spread eagle on the bed, both wrists and ankles encased in padded leather cuffs, secured to both headboard and footboard. And seriously when Jared said cuffs he should have mentioned that he meant for both wrists and ankles.
Jensen watched Jared, his Dom and he still wasn’t sure what he thought about that new designation, it seemed that he was okay with his boyfriend controlling their sex games but to actually put a name to it his mind wanted to skitter away from it every time and something heavy and not quite comfortable, settle in the pit of his stomach, move silently across the room. And that was another thing, Jared was never silent, there was constant noise accompanying him, be it the sound of his footsteps, or a soft muttering of lines being repeated constantly, or the snapping of gum, humming, laughing, something, anything, other than this settled quiet. It was Jared and yet it wasn’t. This Jared was someone Jensen had never met until the night he offered the collar and himself. It was like he was too enthralled in every movement, every sound or word that Jensen made that he didn’t want to risk missing anything by making any noise himself. It made him feel uncomfortably aware of himself and cherished in turns.
Again something that emphasized just how out of his depth he still was.
He watched his boyfriend settle at the foot of the bed and smile up at him.
“Comfortable?”
Was he kidding? How could he be comfortable, naked, spread eagle on their bed, exposed and unable to protect himself? Seriously.
“Boy?”
Fucking no! Let me up! He wanted to yell it, hell scream it, ignoring that it might make him sound girly, but he clamped down on the urge.
He chewed on the inside of his cheek for a moment trying to silently prepare the right tone of voice, the right inflection for his word. Because there was only one word needed for the question and it could not be layered with the underlying sarcasm he could taste on his tongue, it couldn’t be.
He swallowed, trying to gain some moisture for his dry throat. “Yes Sir.”
Jensen felt the pinch on the soft inside of his right thigh before his mind had a chance to register that Jared had moved.
Mother fucking, son of a bitch! He bit the tip of his tongue, stopping the words from slipping out on the hiss of air that escaped his tightly clenched teeth. The coppery taste of blood assaulted his senses even as his cock twitched with interest.
He risked a glance away from the slanted eyes, narrowed in annoyance, to his cock. Sure enough it was slowly coming to life, suddenly his discomfort at being tied up didn’t seem to matter to his lower brain. Of course his lower brain had been all for this whole submissive gig from the moment he first found the collar, if he was going to be utterly honest with himself. Thing was, no matter how out to sea he felt his upper brain was starting to get with the program too.
“I can find various reasons to punish you boy, lying doesn’t need to be one of them. Nor should it be.”
His eyes flickered back to Jared’s face as his lover moved up his body until all he could see was hazel.
“I need to trust you. And to trust you, you need to trust me with the truth.”
He could taste the warmth and dampness of Jared’s breath as it slipped across his lips as he spoke. Could smell faint traces of the hard candy that his boyfriend had been eating before all this had started. Before he had come down the stairs, collar in hand, hoping to entice Jared to play away the rainy Sunday afternoon.
I do trust you. Jensen tried to put his feelings into his eyes. He would have said the words, wanted to say them, but wasn’t allowed to talk unless asked a direct question. But I don’t like not having at least some control. I need to know I can fight if I have too Jared. You know that.
He watched him move back to settle once again between his spread thighs, “And now we’re going to try this again boy. Are you comfortable?”
He swallowed hard before admitting lowly, “Not really Sir. No.”
“Now see that’s something I can work with.” He smiled, “It’s honest and it’s real and it’s what I want.”
Jensen shut his eyes and shifted his leg to push against the gentle thumb Jared was running back and forth against the stinging pain in his thigh. He accepted it for what it was, it wasn’t to cause more pain but to soothe because that’s what Jared was. His Dom doled out punishment when it was necessary but he always gentled it with a soft caress or some form of reward depending on the severity of the discipline he received.
He wasn’t sure if that was how things were done with other Doms and subs but he was more than ecstatic that his was that way. If it had been different, if Jared had been colder, doling out punishments and then simply continuing on to the next act he wanted without apparent concern, this never would have worked. Jensen needed to know that his lover was just as emotionally invested in this as he was, that no matter how much either of them enjoyed the punishments, that they were still them, that if he hurt, Jared wanted to take the pain away. Just as he felt for him.
“I told you when you came to me today that if we were going to do this that I had a lesson you needed to learn.” He purred low as he drew his fingertips up the inside of Jensen’s thighs until he reached where thigh met hip and squeezed tightly.
He took a deep breath trying to ignore the rise of goose bumps following the path of Jared’s fingers. But found himself unable to suppress the moan as his lover’s fingers tightened around his hips to the point of biting into the soft flesh.
“You try to be such a good boy.” Jared continued quietly, “And I’m so proud of you for trying but you’re still holding back, keeping yourself from completely letting go.” He leaned forward and dragged his tongue up Jensen’s cock from root to tip.
He pushed down the urge to buck his hips up, to seek out the warmth of Jared’s mouth hovering just above the crown of his cock knowing it would get him no where. Not with his boyfriend’s tight grip still pinning him to the bed and the look in his eyes hinting that he should stay still.
Please. He begged silently, Please just drop your head, your mouth. Jesus please!
The grin Jared flashed at him was full of dark promise and he felt himself harden further. Until this thing had started between him, it was a grin that he had only seen brief flashes of and could never quite discern exactly what it meant. But now he understood it intimately, had grown to want to see that particular look on his Dom’s face when he was wearing his collar. Learned that he was about to have to work for his pleasure but the payoff would be well worth the sweat.
“So,” he continued, his hot breath ghosting over Jensen’s cock tearing a groan from his throat unbidden. “We’re going to work on that today.”
Work on that. His mind had started to spin away on waves of want, want, want and couldn’t remember exactly what Jared had been saying but knew he had missed something important. But it was damn hard to pay attention to the words coming from his boyfriend’s lips when his mouth was still hovering only inches above his cock. Work on what?
Jared shifted forward, stretching out until his body was balanced just a breath over Jensen’s, ensuring that the only thing that caressed his bound lover was his body heat. “I need you here with me. I need you to trust me to completely to take care of you.”
He blinked up at the hazel gaze staring down at him, I do trust you to take care of me. But I can’t let go completely.
It wasn’t something he could explain, not even to himself, never mind Jared, but it had always just been that way. He didn’t drink so much as to not have some control, he didn’t do drugs because he had watched friends lose themselves in the moment and had to depend on someone else to take care of them and sex was the same. There was always a part of him he held back at a distance, a part that kept vigilant watch, keeping an appraising eye on the proceedings, whatever they were.
Jared wanted him to let that go and if he was going to be honest with himself, he kind of wondered exactly what that would be like. But to go about it this way, with him bound hand and foot to the bed was probably less proactive then Jared realized.
That was another thing he didn’t have an explanation for, never in his life had he been in a situation where he had felt helpless and it had left a fear of being bound. And yet it always took all of his will power not to stomp his foot and yell “no” every time the writers had him tied to something. And yet here he was tied to their bed and it was so much worse than that time with the silk ties, at least back then he had his legs free, although to this day he couldn’t fathom the real difference since really what was he going to be able to do with his legs to Jared?
Jared wanted him to let go and just be in the moment. He already had doubts about that even being possible but add being unable to get away. Yeah he was pretty sure this was bound to fail and could only hope that that didn’t mean that something, this whole submission thing that he was actually enjoying, would go with it.
Jensen watched him reach out, pick something up from the nightstand and felt his heart speed up as Jared let him see the cock ring clasped in his hand.
Oh shit.
He swallowed hard as Jared settled back on his knees between his spread thighs and slid the cold silver ring down his shaft. He couldn’t hold back his hiss as his lover leaned forward and engulfed his cock between his warm lips, sucking hard to draw even more blood into his cock.
Jared pulled off and smirked as he flicked the metal cock ring with a fingernail. “So pretty.” He purred softly as he crawled up Jensen’s body until he was once again stretched out over him. “Bound hand and foot and cock ring ensuring that you have to rely on me for your pleasure, your release.”
He whimpered as his Dom pinned him against the bed, the rough denim of his jeans rubbing almost painfully against Jensen’s cock.
“Such a good boy for me.” Jared kissed him softly, chastely. “Let’s see how good you really can be.”
Jensen groaned as Jared twisted his fingers into his hair and pulled his head to the side exposing his neck for his Dom’s perusal. He still didn’t think that whatever Jared had planned was going to work to help him let go and just exist in the moment but he wasn’t going to argue. Especially not when he was laying a trail of biting kisses down his neck to his shoulder.
He shifted his hips in response, silently cursing both his pain kink and the ankle cuffs stopping him from planting his feet flat on the mattress and pushing up into Jared to seek relief from the ache already burning through his body.
Jared chuckled darkly as he turned his attention to Jensen’s nipples, pinching and rolling one between the thumb and forefinger of his left hand while alternating between biting and tonguing the other.
“So worked up already.” He murmured as into his chest as he dragged his lips across the bare flesh. “Already begging to be allowed to come. But not yet boy. I have plans for you.”
Jensen groaned as Jared attacked his other nipple with his teeth. Jared knew him too well, knew what buttons to push and how to push them to have him teetering at the edge even when he was uncomfortable and at that moment he both hated and appreciated it.
He shivered as Jared moved farther down his body, his nails leaving red trails along his sides.
“Look at me.” Jared demanded and waited until Jensen lifted his head before he opened his mouth and swallowed his cock down.
Jesus! He groaned silently and fought against the restraints holding him down trying in vain to thrust up into the wet heat of Jared’s throat as his Dom let his teeth click against the cock ring.
Don’t speak! The small, unaffected part of his mind reminded him as Jared slowly worked his way up to the head of his cock and flicked the tip of his tongue over it.
Jared smirked at him before engulfing his cock again and swallowing him down his throat.
“Fuck.” He hissed softly before he could stop himself.
Tensing, he watched through leery eyes as Jared lifted his head, one eyebrow raised, as worry and anticipation, as to just what his punishment might be, warred in his stomach.
“Did I say you could speak?” His voice was deceptively soft as he ran the knuckles of his right hand up and down the soft skin on the inside of Jensen’s thigh.
“No.” Jensen whispered back.
The sudden absence of Jared’s knuckles against his flesh was the only warning he got before pain blossomed in almost the exact same spot that his Dom had pinched him earlier.
“No what?” He was still using that soft voice so at odds with the harsh way he was now pushing his knuckles into the very epicenter of pain in Jensen’s thigh.
He shut his eyes against the waves of burning heat building outwards from that one small point of his leg to settle in his stomach and cock.
“No Sir.” He groaned softly and couldn’t stop his hips from bucking. Damn Jared for knowing him so well.
Jared stopped torturing his leg as he pulled himself back up onto his knees again. Jensen tried to blink past the haze of lust as he watched him reach behind himself and grab the tube of lube from where Jared had dropped it on the foot of the bed.
“Do you know why I punished you?” Jared raised an eyebrow while he slicked up the fingers of his right hand.
Jensen swallowed hard, the muscles in his ass fluttering in anticipation. “Because I spoke without permission, Sir.”
“No.”
Without warning Jared slid a finger completely into him and slowly began to pump it in and out.
Oh fuck. Fuck! He tried to push down onto the finger, enjoying the slight burn that melted into the hotter pain from his leg, causing his cock to throb.
“You got punished because you didn’t show me the proper respect while answering me.” Jared’s tone was conversational, almost as if they were simply discussing something as mundane as what they needed to pick up on the next grocery run but Jensen could see how dark his eyes were, the light flush to his skin.
“You can speak until I tell you otherwise.” He continued as he slid a second finger along side the first.
Jensen pushed his head back into the pillows and didn’t bother to try to stop his useless attempts to free his ankles from the restraints. He wanted his feet free, he wanted to be able to plant them on the bed for extra leverage as he thrust his hips down, forced those long fingers of Jared’s deeper.
“Want.” He groaned in frustration.
“Want what boy?” Jared chuckled, “More of this?” He slid a third finger in along side the other two.
The burn was more pronounced, not enough time between becoming accustomed to having two of Jared’s fingers in his ass to three but it didn’t stop the mindless grinding of his hips.
“So beautiful.” Jared licked a stripe along the crease of his hip. “You look so good boy, writhing on my fingers, fucking yourself with them. So good.”
Jensen groaned, waiting for that small part of himself that usually burned with embarrassment when Jared started talking like that to recoil, surprised when all he felt was a surge of pride at being called a “good boy”.
”More.” He begged, “Please Sir more.”
“More what?” Jared took the head of his cock into his mouth and sucked hard while sliding another finger into his ass.
They had never done that before; occasionally Jared would play the tip of his pinkie back and forth across the stretched muscle as he prepped Jensen but to actually slide it in with his other fingers? Never. At least not until now, now that he had no means of escaping the pleasure/pain zinging back and forth through his nerves, heating his blood. The surprising thing about it was that Jensen actually wanted it. Not that it was what he had been asking for, his body was aching, craving for Jared to fuck him and that was what he had been asking for but as the pain slid into pleasure it was becoming a moot point. Now he simply wanted whatever Jared would give him and he wanted it now.
“Please,” he titled his head so that he could meet the slanted hazel eyes staring up at him. “Don’t stop.”
Jared’s eyes darkened further and he could feel the lips wrapped around his cock twitch.
His head dropped back to the pillow and groaned, sparks of pleasure shooting through him as Jared played his fingers against his prostate.
He needed to come, the ache in his stomach building almost past bearable, “Please Jared. Please, I need, need…”
Jensen bucked his hips, alternating between driving his cock further down his lover’s throat and back into his thrusting fingers.
Jared’s chuckle shot through his cock to add to the already mindless want coursing through him.
“Please I need to come.” He sobbed as his head thrashed back and forth over his pillow. “Jesus Jared plea…”
His words were lost to his sudden gasp as he felt himself being stretched further, felt the burning of the thickest part of Jared’s hand slip within him.
“Oh, oh fuck!” He hissed out on a pant.
Jensen couldn’t decipher the signals his body was sending to his mind. On one hand it hurt to be stretched so far open to the point where he might have screamed if he had the breath. But yet on the other hand it felt so very good being filled by Jared, any part of Jared. He ached for Jared to fill him, maybe it wasn’t his lover’s cock but this would do. His knuckles purposely rubbing against his prostate as he gently but continuously pumped his fist deep within him was starting to feel really fucking good.
He keened low in his throat as Jared dragged his teeth up his shaft.
Jensen’s hips bucked mindlessly, seeking the wet heat of Jared’s mouth as he pulled off his cock and a yell tore from his throat as his lover’s knuckles knocked harshly against his prostate.
“Jare, please. Please!”
“So good, boy.” Jared panted, “I’m so proud of you.”
“Please.” He sobbed, the ache in his balls slowly sliding from pleasurable to painful.
“Come for me!” Jared demanded as he pressed hard against Jensen’s prostate.
Jensen screamed as his body locked up, muscles in his arms and legs seizing, pulling him up to hang an inch above the bed.
His eyes slipped shut in response to the intensity of his orgasm and he was only vaguely aware of the first wet splatter of come hitting his stomach or his body falling back to the mattress.
He wasn’t sure how long he drifted in the waves of his orgasm but when he opened his eyes again Jared was straddling his chest, jeans undone and he was slowly sliding his hand up and down his cock.
He forced his eyes up, noting the flush darkening his lover’s sweaty chest and neck before he met Jared’s dark gaze.
Jared’s free hand snaked out and palmed the back of Jensen’s head. “Suck me.” He growled low.
Jensen felt limp, sated, and if it wasn’t for Jared supporting his head, he didn’t think he could have lifted his head from the pillow. But his Dom had given him an order and he either did as he was told or could expect to be punished. His cock gave a feeble twitch at the thought but he ignored it and the thrill that surged in his blood.
His Dom had allowed him to come, had taught him to let go and he needed to show his appreciation for his lesson. If he wanted him to suck him off, then he would and he would do as best as he was capable with his muscles still feeling like jell-o.
He didn’t fight Jared’s guiding hand and obediently opened his mouth for the hard cock bumping against his lips.
“Fuck.” Jared groaned and his free hand slapped harshly against the wall above the headboard.
Jensen hummed deep in his throat as his mouth slid down Jared’s cock until his nose pushed against the course hairs at the base.
Slowly he pulled his head back, ensuring to suck hard as he drew closer to the head. His eyes flickered up to meet Jared’s as his teeth caught under the ridge and he swirled his tongue around the tip.
Jared stared back down at him, bottom lip caught between his teeth and his nostrils flaring as he dragged harsh breaths through his nose.
He couldn’t help the surge of pride as he swallowed him back down; he did that to his Dom.
“Jesus.” Jared groaned and tightened the hand holding the back of Jensen’s head. “So good boy.”
Jensen let his eyes slip closed as lost himself to the rhythm of sliding him mouth up and down Jared’s cock, reveling in the taste and the heavy weight on his tongue.
He pulled off just as Jared’s hips began to buck. “Do it.” He begged softly, “Please fuck my mouth, Sir.”
Jared’s finger’s twisted to the point of pain in his hair and he pulled his mouth back towards his cock. “You want it?” He growled, “You got it.”
Jensen had been expecting the almost violent thrust and simply relaxed his jaw muscles in deference to it.
“So good.” Jared panted, “My good boy. Always willing to please.”
Yes. Jensen stared up at him, sucking harder as Jared started to curl towards him, his hips thrusting erratically.
“Fuck. Oh shit.” Jared hissed as his body suddenly stilled and Jensen tasted the first bitter splash of come hit his tongue. He swallowed everything Jared gave him, gently milking him with his tongue.
After a moment, Jared lowered his head back to the pillow and slid off of him. “You did so good.” He murmured as he stroked his cheek.
Jensen smiled as his eyes slid shut and he pushed his cheek into Jared’s touch.
“Tired?”
“Yes, Sir.”
The warmth of Jared’s hand disappeared and he wanted to open his eyes to see where his Dom was going but he was so tired. Maybe Jared wouldn’t mind if he just laid there for a minute, just till he got his second wind.
“Sleep for a while.”
His eyelids fluttered open at Jared’s words and he watched him undo his left wrist cuff. “Can’t, Sir.” He whispered, “Gotta clean up.”
Jared smiled at him as he gently took his wrist in his hand and lowered his arm down to Jensen’s side before reaching over and starting on the second wrist cuff. “I’ll take care of it.”
And he would, Jared always took care of him.
Fin.
Comments and constructive criticism snuggled.
*Thanks to
fanofsuperfor the quick and dirty beta after the fact.*
Word Count: 4,298
Pairing: Jensen/Jared
Rating: N/C-17
Warnings: Swearing, fisting, bondage, D/S theme
Disclaimer: Jensen Ackles and Jared Padalecki own themselves and this is fiction.
Summary: Jensen wants to play but Jared has a lesson for him to learn.
A/N: This is the third installment in my Teaching Jensen verse - or at least that's what I'm calling it this week. Also I need to apologize to everyone that I told that I was going to try to have this up by the end of last month. Sorry Big Bang ate my brain in April and RL has been hell this month. Oh and most of this was written while I was hopped up on cold and pain medication so please to be kindly pointing out any mistakes, inconsistencies and you know the cost comparision between NyQuil and NeoCitran if it's in there. Thanks.
So the thing is that Jensen knew he was out of his depth when he first pulled the collar out of the box he had found under Jared’s side of the bed, with shaking hands and an incredulous look. He knew it when he was staring at it, sitting innocently on the bed inches from his crossed legs and trying to decide if he was pissed at his boyfriend for going behind his back and buying it or nervously intrigued with the idea. Knew it the whole time he was making arrangements for the dogs to be out of the house for the night. Knew it as he stripped down, prepped himself and made his way down the stairs to wait for Jared. Knew it and almost backed out of the whole deal when his lover called to tell him he was running late and figured he’d be at least another couple of hours. He even knew it as he heard Jared’s key turn in the lock and gingerly dropped to his knees on the cold tile to wait for his reaction.
That had been seven weeks before and although he no longer felt like he was floundering around completely in the dark, he wasn’t arrogant enough to believe that he had a handle on what was going on between them. At least not completely.
Especially now that he was spread eagle on the bed, both wrists and ankles encased in padded leather cuffs, secured to both headboard and footboard. And seriously when Jared said cuffs he should have mentioned that he meant for both wrists and ankles.
Jensen watched Jared, his Dom and he still wasn’t sure what he thought about that new designation, it seemed that he was okay with his boyfriend controlling their sex games but to actually put a name to it his mind wanted to skitter away from it every time and something heavy and not quite comfortable, settle in the pit of his stomach, move silently across the room. And that was another thing, Jared was never silent, there was constant noise accompanying him, be it the sound of his footsteps, or a soft muttering of lines being repeated constantly, or the snapping of gum, humming, laughing, something, anything, other than this settled quiet. It was Jared and yet it wasn’t. This Jared was someone Jensen had never met until the night he offered the collar and himself. It was like he was too enthralled in every movement, every sound or word that Jensen made that he didn’t want to risk missing anything by making any noise himself. It made him feel uncomfortably aware of himself and cherished in turns.
Again something that emphasized just how out of his depth he still was.
He watched his boyfriend settle at the foot of the bed and smile up at him.
“Comfortable?”
Was he kidding? How could he be comfortable, naked, spread eagle on their bed, exposed and unable to protect himself? Seriously.
“Boy?”
Fucking no! Let me up! He wanted to yell it, hell scream it, ignoring that it might make him sound girly, but he clamped down on the urge.
He chewed on the inside of his cheek for a moment trying to silently prepare the right tone of voice, the right inflection for his word. Because there was only one word needed for the question and it could not be layered with the underlying sarcasm he could taste on his tongue, it couldn’t be.
He swallowed, trying to gain some moisture for his dry throat. “Yes Sir.”
Jensen felt the pinch on the soft inside of his right thigh before his mind had a chance to register that Jared had moved.
Mother fucking, son of a bitch! He bit the tip of his tongue, stopping the words from slipping out on the hiss of air that escaped his tightly clenched teeth. The coppery taste of blood assaulted his senses even as his cock twitched with interest.
He risked a glance away from the slanted eyes, narrowed in annoyance, to his cock. Sure enough it was slowly coming to life, suddenly his discomfort at being tied up didn’t seem to matter to his lower brain. Of course his lower brain had been all for this whole submissive gig from the moment he first found the collar, if he was going to be utterly honest with himself. Thing was, no matter how out to sea he felt his upper brain was starting to get with the program too.
“I can find various reasons to punish you boy, lying doesn’t need to be one of them. Nor should it be.”
His eyes flickered back to Jared’s face as his lover moved up his body until all he could see was hazel.
“I need to trust you. And to trust you, you need to trust me with the truth.”
He could taste the warmth and dampness of Jared’s breath as it slipped across his lips as he spoke. Could smell faint traces of the hard candy that his boyfriend had been eating before all this had started. Before he had come down the stairs, collar in hand, hoping to entice Jared to play away the rainy Sunday afternoon.
I do trust you. Jensen tried to put his feelings into his eyes. He would have said the words, wanted to say them, but wasn’t allowed to talk unless asked a direct question. But I don’t like not having at least some control. I need to know I can fight if I have too Jared. You know that.
He watched him move back to settle once again between his spread thighs, “And now we’re going to try this again boy. Are you comfortable?”
He swallowed hard before admitting lowly, “Not really Sir. No.”
“Now see that’s something I can work with.” He smiled, “It’s honest and it’s real and it’s what I want.”
Jensen shut his eyes and shifted his leg to push against the gentle thumb Jared was running back and forth against the stinging pain in his thigh. He accepted it for what it was, it wasn’t to cause more pain but to soothe because that’s what Jared was. His Dom doled out punishment when it was necessary but he always gentled it with a soft caress or some form of reward depending on the severity of the discipline he received.
He wasn’t sure if that was how things were done with other Doms and subs but he was more than ecstatic that his was that way. If it had been different, if Jared had been colder, doling out punishments and then simply continuing on to the next act he wanted without apparent concern, this never would have worked. Jensen needed to know that his lover was just as emotionally invested in this as he was, that no matter how much either of them enjoyed the punishments, that they were still them, that if he hurt, Jared wanted to take the pain away. Just as he felt for him.
“I told you when you came to me today that if we were going to do this that I had a lesson you needed to learn.” He purred low as he drew his fingertips up the inside of Jensen’s thighs until he reached where thigh met hip and squeezed tightly.
He took a deep breath trying to ignore the rise of goose bumps following the path of Jared’s fingers. But found himself unable to suppress the moan as his lover’s fingers tightened around his hips to the point of biting into the soft flesh.
“You try to be such a good boy.” Jared continued quietly, “And I’m so proud of you for trying but you’re still holding back, keeping yourself from completely letting go.” He leaned forward and dragged his tongue up Jensen’s cock from root to tip.
He pushed down the urge to buck his hips up, to seek out the warmth of Jared’s mouth hovering just above the crown of his cock knowing it would get him no where. Not with his boyfriend’s tight grip still pinning him to the bed and the look in his eyes hinting that he should stay still.
Please. He begged silently, Please just drop your head, your mouth. Jesus please!
The grin Jared flashed at him was full of dark promise and he felt himself harden further. Until this thing had started between him, it was a grin that he had only seen brief flashes of and could never quite discern exactly what it meant. But now he understood it intimately, had grown to want to see that particular look on his Dom’s face when he was wearing his collar. Learned that he was about to have to work for his pleasure but the payoff would be well worth the sweat.
“So,” he continued, his hot breath ghosting over Jensen’s cock tearing a groan from his throat unbidden. “We’re going to work on that today.”
Work on that. His mind had started to spin away on waves of want, want, want and couldn’t remember exactly what Jared had been saying but knew he had missed something important. But it was damn hard to pay attention to the words coming from his boyfriend’s lips when his mouth was still hovering only inches above his cock. Work on what?
Jared shifted forward, stretching out until his body was balanced just a breath over Jensen’s, ensuring that the only thing that caressed his bound lover was his body heat. “I need you here with me. I need you to trust me to completely to take care of you.”
He blinked up at the hazel gaze staring down at him, I do trust you to take care of me. But I can’t let go completely.
It wasn’t something he could explain, not even to himself, never mind Jared, but it had always just been that way. He didn’t drink so much as to not have some control, he didn’t do drugs because he had watched friends lose themselves in the moment and had to depend on someone else to take care of them and sex was the same. There was always a part of him he held back at a distance, a part that kept vigilant watch, keeping an appraising eye on the proceedings, whatever they were.
Jared wanted him to let that go and if he was going to be honest with himself, he kind of wondered exactly what that would be like. But to go about it this way, with him bound hand and foot to the bed was probably less proactive then Jared realized.
That was another thing he didn’t have an explanation for, never in his life had he been in a situation where he had felt helpless and it had left a fear of being bound. And yet it always took all of his will power not to stomp his foot and yell “no” every time the writers had him tied to something. And yet here he was tied to their bed and it was so much worse than that time with the silk ties, at least back then he had his legs free, although to this day he couldn’t fathom the real difference since really what was he going to be able to do with his legs to Jared?
Jared wanted him to let go and just be in the moment. He already had doubts about that even being possible but add being unable to get away. Yeah he was pretty sure this was bound to fail and could only hope that that didn’t mean that something, this whole submission thing that he was actually enjoying, would go with it.
Jensen watched him reach out, pick something up from the nightstand and felt his heart speed up as Jared let him see the cock ring clasped in his hand.
Oh shit.
He swallowed hard as Jared settled back on his knees between his spread thighs and slid the cold silver ring down his shaft. He couldn’t hold back his hiss as his lover leaned forward and engulfed his cock between his warm lips, sucking hard to draw even more blood into his cock.
Jared pulled off and smirked as he flicked the metal cock ring with a fingernail. “So pretty.” He purred softly as he crawled up Jensen’s body until he was once again stretched out over him. “Bound hand and foot and cock ring ensuring that you have to rely on me for your pleasure, your release.”
He whimpered as his Dom pinned him against the bed, the rough denim of his jeans rubbing almost painfully against Jensen’s cock.
“Such a good boy for me.” Jared kissed him softly, chastely. “Let’s see how good you really can be.”
Jensen groaned as Jared twisted his fingers into his hair and pulled his head to the side exposing his neck for his Dom’s perusal. He still didn’t think that whatever Jared had planned was going to work to help him let go and just exist in the moment but he wasn’t going to argue. Especially not when he was laying a trail of biting kisses down his neck to his shoulder.
He shifted his hips in response, silently cursing both his pain kink and the ankle cuffs stopping him from planting his feet flat on the mattress and pushing up into Jared to seek relief from the ache already burning through his body.
Jared chuckled darkly as he turned his attention to Jensen’s nipples, pinching and rolling one between the thumb and forefinger of his left hand while alternating between biting and tonguing the other.
“So worked up already.” He murmured as into his chest as he dragged his lips across the bare flesh. “Already begging to be allowed to come. But not yet boy. I have plans for you.”
Jensen groaned as Jared attacked his other nipple with his teeth. Jared knew him too well, knew what buttons to push and how to push them to have him teetering at the edge even when he was uncomfortable and at that moment he both hated and appreciated it.
He shivered as Jared moved farther down his body, his nails leaving red trails along his sides.
“Look at me.” Jared demanded and waited until Jensen lifted his head before he opened his mouth and swallowed his cock down.
Jesus! He groaned silently and fought against the restraints holding him down trying in vain to thrust up into the wet heat of Jared’s throat as his Dom let his teeth click against the cock ring.
Don’t speak! The small, unaffected part of his mind reminded him as Jared slowly worked his way up to the head of his cock and flicked the tip of his tongue over it.
Jared smirked at him before engulfing his cock again and swallowing him down his throat.
“Fuck.” He hissed softly before he could stop himself.
Tensing, he watched through leery eyes as Jared lifted his head, one eyebrow raised, as worry and anticipation, as to just what his punishment might be, warred in his stomach.
“Did I say you could speak?” His voice was deceptively soft as he ran the knuckles of his right hand up and down the soft skin on the inside of Jensen’s thigh.
“No.” Jensen whispered back.
The sudden absence of Jared’s knuckles against his flesh was the only warning he got before pain blossomed in almost the exact same spot that his Dom had pinched him earlier.
“No what?” He was still using that soft voice so at odds with the harsh way he was now pushing his knuckles into the very epicenter of pain in Jensen’s thigh.
He shut his eyes against the waves of burning heat building outwards from that one small point of his leg to settle in his stomach and cock.
“No Sir.” He groaned softly and couldn’t stop his hips from bucking. Damn Jared for knowing him so well.
Jared stopped torturing his leg as he pulled himself back up onto his knees again. Jensen tried to blink past the haze of lust as he watched him reach behind himself and grab the tube of lube from where Jared had dropped it on the foot of the bed.
“Do you know why I punished you?” Jared raised an eyebrow while he slicked up the fingers of his right hand.
Jensen swallowed hard, the muscles in his ass fluttering in anticipation. “Because I spoke without permission, Sir.”
“No.”
Without warning Jared slid a finger completely into him and slowly began to pump it in and out.
Oh fuck. Fuck! He tried to push down onto the finger, enjoying the slight burn that melted into the hotter pain from his leg, causing his cock to throb.
“You got punished because you didn’t show me the proper respect while answering me.” Jared’s tone was conversational, almost as if they were simply discussing something as mundane as what they needed to pick up on the next grocery run but Jensen could see how dark his eyes were, the light flush to his skin.
“You can speak until I tell you otherwise.” He continued as he slid a second finger along side the first.
Jensen pushed his head back into the pillows and didn’t bother to try to stop his useless attempts to free his ankles from the restraints. He wanted his feet free, he wanted to be able to plant them on the bed for extra leverage as he thrust his hips down, forced those long fingers of Jared’s deeper.
“Want.” He groaned in frustration.
“Want what boy?” Jared chuckled, “More of this?” He slid a third finger in along side the other two.
The burn was more pronounced, not enough time between becoming accustomed to having two of Jared’s fingers in his ass to three but it didn’t stop the mindless grinding of his hips.
“So beautiful.” Jared licked a stripe along the crease of his hip. “You look so good boy, writhing on my fingers, fucking yourself with them. So good.”
Jensen groaned, waiting for that small part of himself that usually burned with embarrassment when Jared started talking like that to recoil, surprised when all he felt was a surge of pride at being called a “good boy”.
”More.” He begged, “Please Sir more.”
“More what?” Jared took the head of his cock into his mouth and sucked hard while sliding another finger into his ass.
They had never done that before; occasionally Jared would play the tip of his pinkie back and forth across the stretched muscle as he prepped Jensen but to actually slide it in with his other fingers? Never. At least not until now, now that he had no means of escaping the pleasure/pain zinging back and forth through his nerves, heating his blood. The surprising thing about it was that Jensen actually wanted it. Not that it was what he had been asking for, his body was aching, craving for Jared to fuck him and that was what he had been asking for but as the pain slid into pleasure it was becoming a moot point. Now he simply wanted whatever Jared would give him and he wanted it now.
“Please,” he titled his head so that he could meet the slanted hazel eyes staring up at him. “Don’t stop.”
Jared’s eyes darkened further and he could feel the lips wrapped around his cock twitch.
His head dropped back to the pillow and groaned, sparks of pleasure shooting through him as Jared played his fingers against his prostate.
He needed to come, the ache in his stomach building almost past bearable, “Please Jared. Please, I need, need…”
Jensen bucked his hips, alternating between driving his cock further down his lover’s throat and back into his thrusting fingers.
Jared’s chuckle shot through his cock to add to the already mindless want coursing through him.
“Please I need to come.” He sobbed as his head thrashed back and forth over his pillow. “Jesus Jared plea…”
His words were lost to his sudden gasp as he felt himself being stretched further, felt the burning of the thickest part of Jared’s hand slip within him.
“Oh, oh fuck!” He hissed out on a pant.
Jensen couldn’t decipher the signals his body was sending to his mind. On one hand it hurt to be stretched so far open to the point where he might have screamed if he had the breath. But yet on the other hand it felt so very good being filled by Jared, any part of Jared. He ached for Jared to fill him, maybe it wasn’t his lover’s cock but this would do. His knuckles purposely rubbing against his prostate as he gently but continuously pumped his fist deep within him was starting to feel really fucking good.
He keened low in his throat as Jared dragged his teeth up his shaft.
Jensen’s hips bucked mindlessly, seeking the wet heat of Jared’s mouth as he pulled off his cock and a yell tore from his throat as his lover’s knuckles knocked harshly against his prostate.
“Jare, please. Please!”
“So good, boy.” Jared panted, “I’m so proud of you.”
“Please.” He sobbed, the ache in his balls slowly sliding from pleasurable to painful.
“Come for me!” Jared demanded as he pressed hard against Jensen’s prostate.
Jensen screamed as his body locked up, muscles in his arms and legs seizing, pulling him up to hang an inch above the bed.
His eyes slipped shut in response to the intensity of his orgasm and he was only vaguely aware of the first wet splatter of come hitting his stomach or his body falling back to the mattress.
He wasn’t sure how long he drifted in the waves of his orgasm but when he opened his eyes again Jared was straddling his chest, jeans undone and he was slowly sliding his hand up and down his cock.
He forced his eyes up, noting the flush darkening his lover’s sweaty chest and neck before he met Jared’s dark gaze.
Jared’s free hand snaked out and palmed the back of Jensen’s head. “Suck me.” He growled low.
Jensen felt limp, sated, and if it wasn’t for Jared supporting his head, he didn’t think he could have lifted his head from the pillow. But his Dom had given him an order and he either did as he was told or could expect to be punished. His cock gave a feeble twitch at the thought but he ignored it and the thrill that surged in his blood.
His Dom had allowed him to come, had taught him to let go and he needed to show his appreciation for his lesson. If he wanted him to suck him off, then he would and he would do as best as he was capable with his muscles still feeling like jell-o.
He didn’t fight Jared’s guiding hand and obediently opened his mouth for the hard cock bumping against his lips.
“Fuck.” Jared groaned and his free hand slapped harshly against the wall above the headboard.
Jensen hummed deep in his throat as his mouth slid down Jared’s cock until his nose pushed against the course hairs at the base.
Slowly he pulled his head back, ensuring to suck hard as he drew closer to the head. His eyes flickered up to meet Jared’s as his teeth caught under the ridge and he swirled his tongue around the tip.
Jared stared back down at him, bottom lip caught between his teeth and his nostrils flaring as he dragged harsh breaths through his nose.
He couldn’t help the surge of pride as he swallowed him back down; he did that to his Dom.
“Jesus.” Jared groaned and tightened the hand holding the back of Jensen’s head. “So good boy.”
Jensen let his eyes slip closed as lost himself to the rhythm of sliding him mouth up and down Jared’s cock, reveling in the taste and the heavy weight on his tongue.
He pulled off just as Jared’s hips began to buck. “Do it.” He begged softly, “Please fuck my mouth, Sir.”
Jared’s finger’s twisted to the point of pain in his hair and he pulled his mouth back towards his cock. “You want it?” He growled, “You got it.”
Jensen had been expecting the almost violent thrust and simply relaxed his jaw muscles in deference to it.
“So good.” Jared panted, “My good boy. Always willing to please.”
Yes. Jensen stared up at him, sucking harder as Jared started to curl towards him, his hips thrusting erratically.
“Fuck. Oh shit.” Jared hissed as his body suddenly stilled and Jensen tasted the first bitter splash of come hit his tongue. He swallowed everything Jared gave him, gently milking him with his tongue.
After a moment, Jared lowered his head back to the pillow and slid off of him. “You did so good.” He murmured as he stroked his cheek.
Jensen smiled as his eyes slid shut and he pushed his cheek into Jared’s touch.
“Tired?”
“Yes, Sir.”
The warmth of Jared’s hand disappeared and he wanted to open his eyes to see where his Dom was going but he was so tired. Maybe Jared wouldn’t mind if he just laid there for a minute, just till he got his second wind.
“Sleep for a while.”
His eyelids fluttered open at Jared’s words and he watched him undo his left wrist cuff. “Can’t, Sir.” He whispered, “Gotta clean up.”
Jared smiled at him as he gently took his wrist in his hand and lowered his arm down to Jensen’s side before reaching over and starting on the second wrist cuff. “I’ll take care of it.”
And he would, Jared always took care of him.
Fin.
Comments and constructive criticism snuggled.
*Thanks to
fanofsuperfor the quick and dirty beta after the fact.*