Fic: Finding My Way Home Started With Finding You part 2

[ladyrhyanne]

Title: Finding My Way Home Started With Finding You part 2

Jensen/Jared slash - NC-17

For complete list of characters, warnings, disclaimer, summary and author's notes please see Master Post.

Jensen cringed when the doorbell rang and Harley and Sadie started to bark instantly.
“Shh! Come on you guys, shut up!” He hissed, as he started towards the front door, fighting with the two dogs dancing up the hallway. “Harley, Sadie, quiet!”
Automatically both dogs settled enough so that there was only the occasional soft woof, although it didn’t stop them from pacing in front of the door.
“So help me, if you two have woken Nate up, you’ll be spending the rest of the day in the backyard.” He growled down at them while he strained to hear if there was any noise coming from the back of the house.
Satisfied that his son was still sleeping, he swung the door open, prepared to try to be polite, but firm, with whatever door-to-door salesman was disturbing his quiet time. But his well-worded rebuff slid from his mind as he spied the grinning man on his doorstep.
“Chris.”
Admittedly, he had been wondering how long it would take before his friend showed up but he had thought he would have gotten a warning phone call first. After the first month, when Steve had moved out of his and Chris’ place and in with Jensen, on several occasions it had been like watching a bad soap, as they traded barbs back and forth. Now it was habit for Chris to call first and ensure that his ex was out of the house before he showed up.
Apparently that had changed not that it mattered since Steve had insisted that he had to go check on things at his restaurant. Or more likely he and Chris had arranged this not so impromptu visit and made sure he wouldn’t be at the house. If it was because he didn’t want Jensen to feel cornered with both of them going at him or because it was one thing for his friend to speak to his ex but an entirely different thing to have to be in the same house with him Jensen didn’t know and didn’t particularly care at that point, more concerned with having to defend himself, yet again, to another friend.
“Well, are you going let me in?”
Reluctantly he moved back and waved his friend in. “Aren’t you supposed to be at work?” He grumbled.
He shook his head as he headed down the hall. “I’m on nights this month until the end of the week.”
Lucky for me, he thought darkly as he followed but kept the words to himself
“Want something to drink?” He asked as he watched his friend settle on the couch.
“Nah.” 
Jensen crossed the room and sat in a chair sitting against the wall, to the right of the couch. He had been hoping to put this off for as long as possible, even if that only meant a couple of minutes while he made a fresh pot of coffee, but apparently fate was working against him. First the dogs didn’t wake Nathan, when usually they would’ve, and then Chris didn’t want a coffee, which was so out of the ordinary, it only proved that something was conspiring against him.
He crossed his arms over his chest. “Do I really need to ask why you’re here?”
“You know sitting like that screams “confrontational”.” Chris pointed out as he leaned back into the couch. “Generally, when we’re interviewing a suspect, it’s the first sign that he or she is trying to hide something.”
“I’m sorry I didn’t know I was about to be interrogated.” Jensen shot back sarcastically and didn’t shift his stance. The both knew that being interrogated pretty much summed up what was about to happen.
“Jensen, I just want to talk.”
He nodded but remained silent. It was petty because he knew it drove Chris around the bend when he had to drag what he wanted out of his friends. He spent so much time having to do it with suspects that it had become a running joke among their friends to do the same thing just to watch him twitch. Now it wasn’t so much of a joke as being unpleasant and childish but Jensen just didn’t care.
“You’re being a bitch about this.”
“About what?” Jensen tried to sound innocent but knew it had come out more sarcastic than not.
Chris leaned forward and rested his arms on his knees, “Look, Steve phoned me and let me know what’s going on.” 
He didn’t bother to mention that he had overheard the conversation between them after the first time Jared had called. “I’m surprised you even picked up the phone.”
“Don’t, Jensen.” He growled before took a deep breath and let it out slowly. “I know that you know Steve and I have spoken.”
Soft sounds filtered down the hallway. Nathan was slowly waking up. 
Thank God. Chris wouldn’t try to talk to him about this around his son not if he thought it was going to make Jensen angry. And it would make him angry if he had to hear the same rhetoric coming out of his mouth as he’d heard from Steve’s over the last couple days.
“Look Jen, I’m not here to fight about this. I’m here to offer help.”
Jensen perked up at that, “Help?”
“I want to put a trace on your cell.” He explained as he pulled a small case out of the inside pocket of his jacket. “We can find out where the calls are coming from. From there, we can find out who is calling.”
Jensen groaned in exasperation, sure Chris was offering to help, but it wasn’t because he thought it would lead Jensen to Jared, but because he wanted to prove that someone was messing with him. And yet, this could be an answer to his dilemma but and wasn’t there always a but, if he allowed Chris to put a trace on his phone, that would entail involving the police department in this which, in turn, would somehow end up involving the papers, and he really didn’t want his and Jared’s faces’ splashed all over the papers again.
As much as he wanted to say yes, he was going to have to decline. He wanted to keep this as private as possible. Besides, Jared had already called three nights in a row; perhaps he wasn’t saying anything other than that he wanted to come home but eventually Jensen would crack him. Eventually he would tell Jensen what he wanted to know, namely where the hell he was.
“One,” he growled, “I already know it’s Jared calling. So I don’t need your little bug to tell me that.”
“Jen…”
Jensen held up his hand, “No, Chris. I’m not going to argue with you about this. I know who is calling. I’m not going to try to validate that to you.” He took a deep breath and forced down the thought that he might be throwing away one of the best chances of finding his husband. “And secondly, as much as I appreciate the offer, I’m going to have to say no.”
“No?” Chris spluttered, “What the hell do you mean no? Jesus Jensen, what the hell?”
“I don’t want the force involved in this.” He forced past the lump in his throat. “I don’t want it getting around that Jared is calling me. He’s been in hiding for eight months for a reason Chris and I’m not risking him breaking off contact with me because it’s gotten out.”
“What?” He shook his head as if trying to clear it, “Jen, nobody has to know what’s going on but you, me and a friend of mine who owes me a favor at the department.”
“No, Chris.” He was shaking now with the effort of keeping his stance. Something was happening at Jared’s end. Something that had him so scared that he wasn’t ready to involve his family but couldn’t stop calling Jensen all the same. Jensen wasn’t going to do anything to risk the chance of at least hearing his husband’s voice nightly. He wasn’t.
“You’re fucking nuts.” Chris muttered in awe. “That’s all there is to it.”
A high-pitched grumble echoed down the hall and both dogs stood. Almost as one they walked over to Jensen and then to the entrance to the hallway. Sadie glanced back over her shoulder at him just as Harley let out a soft bark.
“I appreciate the offer Chris, I really do.” He offered as he stood, “But until I know more about what’s got Jared so spooked that he refuses to tell me where he is, I’m not doing anything that will risk our communication.”
“What communication?” Chris huffed back, “Telling you that he wants to come home, but won’t come home, and he won’t tell you where he is? That isn’t communication, it’s some sort of a cruel game.”
Jensen shook his head just before he left the room. “It’s my life, my choice Chris.”     
***
Scott finally managed to settle more comfortably into the driver’s seat of Sandy’s Blazer as he turned up the dirt road to the ranch. 
It had been a long night and he still wasn’t certain how Sandy had convinced him to escort her to one of her friend’s birthday parties. Okay maybe that wasn’t so true. He knew it was because he felt that he owed her for giving him this chance at a life, even if he felt like such a fraud.
Sometimes though, he wished he could just tell her no without feeling guilt crawl under his skin every time he opened his mouth to do so, especially after what he’d overheard the other day. It was getting harder to be around her and not wonder what ulterior motives she was hiding in the pretty little head of hers. 
He was finding himself going over every time she had said in the past few months that they were friends and that she wanted him to be a part of her group of pals, wondering if she was only doing it because she wanted more from him. If she were trying to see if he would fit in with them only so she would know what to expect once she managed to get him to start dating her.
He resented himself for feeling that way and yet he just couldn’t stop doing it. Couldn’t stop second-guessing her every word, her every action, now.
“Thanks again for coming with me.” Sandy broke into his silent musings.
“What?” Scott asked as he slowed down in front of the main house.
“I said thanks for taking me tonight.” 
He pulled to a stop and threw the SUV into park before turning towards her. “No problem.”
She laid a gentle hand against his arm and he had to fight down the urge to pull away, knowing the gesture could simply be a show of friendship, and not wanting to hurt her if that’s all it was though he doubted it.
“You seemed to have a good time tonight.”
He shrugged, “It was okay.”
Sandy squeezed his arm slightly, “You’re fitting in so well around here. My friends really like you. You’re getting to know your way around here, and Jeff and Laurie say nothing but good things about you. And I like you.”
It was time to pull his arm away, “I’m comfortable around here.” He admitted softly, “But.”
“But?”
“Sandy,” he gave into the desire try to make this easier on her so he took her hand and squeezed it. “There’s a life somewhere that belongs to me. And until I find out what it is I can’t make any real plans. I can’t think any farther ahead than a week, or maybe two.”
She entwined their fingers together, “Scott, you can’t put the life you could have on hold for a life you may never remember.”
He pulled his hand from her grasp and gripped the steering wheel tightly. “I can’t give up on remembering yet, Sandy. I just can’t.”
“Well, I suggest you think about when you might stop looking for a past you may never find. Give yourself a time limit on how long you’re going to keep your life in this holding pattern.”
Both eyebrows disappeared into his hairline, “You want me to pick a date to give up on finding myself? Finding my life?”
Sandy grinned sadly, “I know it sounds harsh but you could spend the rest of your life looking for something you may never find.”
Scott couldn’t decide exactly how he felt about what she was saying or, for that matter, about her at that moment. He supposed that on some level it made sense. He could end up spending the rest of his life hoping he’d get his memory back and never accomplish it.   But the idea of choosing a date when he gave up on hoping that someday he would remember seemed ludicrous. Then there was that part of him that no longer wondered, but knew, that she was only pushing this in the hopes that it would further her own agenda of his becoming more than friends with her.
He opened his mouth to tell her about the sleepwalking, about the snippets of what he believed were memories, but snapped it closed before the words could tumble out. He didn’t want to get into that with her, especially not right now. Matter of fact, he no longer wanted to speak to her about any of this anymore. Maybe tomorrow or the day after but for now, he was exhausted, and more than a little pissed off at both himself and her. It was most certainly time to call it a night.
Silently he opened the door and slid out of the SUV.   He moved around the front of the Blazer and pulled her door open.
“Scott, I didn’t mean to upset you.” She hurried to make amends as he helped her out.
“Just,” he sighed. “As my friend, I’m asking you to just leave it for now.” He forced a small smile. “Okay?”
She nodded, gave a little half smile and rose up on her tiptoes. “Just remember that there’s more than a past waiting for you.”
Without thinking about it he pulled away from her before she could kiss him on the cheek. “Goodnight, Sandy.”
Her smiled faltered momentarily before it was back at full force. “Goodnight, Scott.”
Somewhere in his foggy past someone, he guessed it was his mother, had taught him manners. This meant that no matter how much he wanted to jump in the truck, pull it around to the garage, and disappear into the safety of the bunkhouse, he waited until Sandy let herself into the main house.
That went well. He thought sarcastically, as he nodded goodnight in response to her small wave before she shut the door.
Scott released the breath trapped in his chest in a loud rush. 
“Fucking hell.” 
***
Scott managed a half smile for Jeff as he passed him on his way to the coffee maker. 
“M…m…m…morning.” He managed through a yawn.
“So it is.”  Jeff grumbled back good-naturedly.
He settled across the kitchen table from him and glanced around the room. “Where’s Laurie?”
“She’s spending the day in town with some friends of hers.” Jeff muttered before raising his own mug to his lips.
Something was going on though Scott was unsure what it could possibly be. Nothing stood out screaming “wrong” at him but there was a feeling in the air, almost like there was a thunderstorm on the way, only all he could see through the kitchen window was clear sky.
He caught Jeff staring hard at him over his mug and had to suppress a shiver of uncertainty. 
“What’s going on, Jeff?” He tried to keep the worry out of his voice but couldn’t fool himself into believing he’d achieved it.
“How long has it been going on?”
Scott tilted his head, “How long has what been going on?”
Jeff set his coffee mug down and clasped his hands in front of him, leaning hard on his forearms. “You’ve been sleepwalking again.”
He swallowed hard, Shit!
He slowly lowered his own mug and settled it on the table. He stared down at it as he absently pushed it back and forth between his nervous hands.
“Scott?”
He cringed. He hated when Jeff took on that tone with him, it made him think of a father disciplining his son. It made him wonder if that was what his father sounded like and made him miss his lost past even more.
“About a week,” he hesitantly admitted.
“About?”
He sighed, “Five days I’ve woken up somewhere other than where I went to sleep.”
“And it never occurred to you to maybe mention this to me?” Was the gruff response.
Scott forced himself to meet his eyes, “It’s not like before.” He hurried to explain. “At least, it doesn’t feel the same. I’m not waking up in a panic. I don’t feel like I’m trying to get away from something.”
He raised his eyebrows, “So then, what is it like?”
He shook his head, “I…I don’t know for sure.” 
Which wasn’t exactly the truth. He had a feeling, a certainty that he was trying to get to something. In the beginning, he’d just assumed that it was some bizarre response to his subconscious, trying to break whatever mental lock his mind had on his memories, perhaps finally ready to face his attack, but now he wasn’t so sure. He was beginning to remember things that his sleeping mind let slip through, nothing definitive, no names, or faces, or places, but glimpses and feelings. Like green eyes that crinkled in the corners. A baby’s laugh. A feeling of contentment that he hadn’t felt since the day he’d woken up in the hospital. And the need to go. Where he didn’t know, just that he had to go.
Jeff narrowed his eyes, “What aren’t you telling me?”
He let his gaze fall back down to his mug and gave it another gentle push. “I need to leave.”
“I kind of figured.”
Scott’s head shot up, “You figured?”
He ran his hands through his hair, “Look son, the last three nights in a row I’ve seen you from the porch window standing out in the yard. Something inside you wants to start searching for what you’re missing.” He raised his hand when Scott started to interrupt. “Look, I don’t necessarily like the idea of you wandering around the country with no memory. Hell, I’d be more than content if you stayed right here until you had a better destination than that-a-way.” He waved vaguely towards the front door. “But I’m not about to tie you down and force you to stay either.”
He started shaking his head, “I don’t know what to do.”
Jeff laughed, “Yes, you do. You go pack your bag, thank Sandy for her kindness, and then you pick a direction and get going.”
He made it sound so simple, but it wasn’t, not really. They needed him there at the ranch and he owed it to Sandy to hang around until things settled down.
“Look, Sandy took you in because deep down the girl has got a good heart but don’t let that stop you from leaving. I love her like a daughter but the girl’s got a wicked side too. Don’t forget that the whole reason she was at that hospital was because she was doing court ordered community service so that she could stay out of jail for drinking and driving. If she catches wind that you’re considering leaving, she’ll do whatever she has to to keep you from going. She likes you Scott, as more than a friend. We both know that means she’s hoping to hook you eventually. It’s best to go now while there’s no resentment from either of you.”
“You think that would happen?”
“Scott, look at me.”
Hesitantly he raised his head to meet the other man’s eyes, worried that no matter what Jeff was saying, or how he sounded okay with him just up and leaving, he would see disappointment settled deep in the gaze across from him. His shoulders relaxed when all he found staring back at him was understanding.
“Yes, I do.”
 “Okay.” Scott nodded.
He stood and turned towards the hall leading to the back of the house before he hesitated. “Jeff.”
“Go get packed and do this now while you’ve got it in your head to go.”
He took a deep breath tamping down the guilt he felt for literally just up and leaving them. Jeff had told him to go, given him his blessing in his own way, and he was right; if he stayed any longer, he would just convince himself not to go.
“Okay.”
It wasn’t as hard as he thought it was going to be, walking away from the table, and one of the few people he trusted. A combination of fear and excitement twisted in his stomach but he chose not to dwell on it, worried that the fear would outweigh the excitement and he would talk himself out of leaving.
“Scott”
He paused at the kitchen doorway and turned back.
Jeff was still seated at the table but now it was him pushing the mug around the scarred tabletop. “I suggest you start by heading towards Texas.”
“Why Texas?”  
He shook his head as he looked across the room at him, “It’s faint but I always thought I could detect a slight Texas twang from you.”
Scott raised an eyebrow; he had never noticed any difference between his speech and those around him. But then he supposed he was too busy trying to convince his mind to give up its secrets to look for more obvious clues.
“Thanks.”
He started to turn before Jeff spoke once more.
“Oh and Scott?”
He remained silent watching a smile slowly move across Jeff’s face.
“Two things. First you call when you find what you’re looking for and second,” he chuckled. “You get to tell Sandy you’re leaving.”
“Well, shit.”
Jeff laughed, “You didn’t think I’d do it for you, did you?”
No, he really hadn’t, but if this was how Jeff wanted to play at saying goodbye, then he’d be more than happy to oblige him. After all, it was because of his reassurance that he’d found the strength in himself to say goodbye in the first place.
He shrugged, “Always a hope.”
The dark head shook, “Not a chance and remember to stop in town and say goodbye to Laurie. She should be at the café all morning.”
“Yes sir.”
***
“You can’t be serious?”
Scott sighed, he’d known that this was going to be difficult, known it long before the conversation in the truck a couple of nights earlier. Hell, he’d known it even before the conversation he’d accidentally overheard a few days before even that. In response, he had put off going up to the main house for as long as he could but, after only an hour, his meager belongings had been packed and he knew he was going to have to face shattering Sandy’s fantasy of happily ever after. Though he still couldn’t fathom how she figured he would buckle under her constant assault, considering neither of them knew who he was, and there was no way he could possibly have any kind of a relationship with her until he knew himself first.
“I’m very serious.”
“But you can’t.” She waved her arms in the air, “We need you here. The season’s almost done and there’s so much to be done.”
He wondered if it was as obvious to her as it was to him that she was grasping at straws.
“I need to go Sandy. I need to figure out who I am. Where I came from. I’m never gonna figure that out here.”
She walked up to him and grasped his arm. “You don’t know that. It hasn’t been that long.”
He wanted to throw her words from the other night back at her, remind her that she had told him to put a time limit on how long he was going to keep hoping to remember. That without actually saying it, she believed he would never get his memory back. Instead he clamped down on the urge hoping to make this as painless as possible for both of them. “Sandy I’ve been here for over five months and nothing is changing up here.” He tapped the side of his head. 
“Five months isn’t very long. Dr. Phillips said your memory could come back at any time and that you would have to be patient.”
Scott stared down at her, “He also said that it may never come back but that there was a better chance of it returning if I happened on something familiar. There’s nothing familiar here, Sandy.”
“I’m here.” She pouted, “Jeff’s here.”
“Yes but nothing is familiar from before.” He clarified his words though he knew it was useless because she had to have known what he meant.
“Fine!” She snarled and spun on her heel. “So, where exactly do you think you’re going to find this familiar? Have you given any thought to that?”
“Texas.”
“Texas?” Sandy spluttered spinning back around, “What the hell is in Texas?”
He hefted the duffle bag Jeff had given him higher up on his shoulder, “Well, I don’t really know, do I? But Jeff figures that I have a slight Texas accent so that’s as good a place to start as any.”
Her eyes narrowed, “Jeff.”
He held up a hand to her, “You leave him out of this.”
“He had no right to put this foolishness in your head.”
“He did no such thing!” He growled out before taking a deep breath and letting it out slowly. “I was already leaving Sandy; he just gave me a direction to head in.” He corrected her softly.
Her shoulder sagged, “There’s nothing I can say to make you stay, is there?”
“No.”
She stared silently at him for a moment before her posture straightened. “I’m coming with you then.”
“What? No!”
“Yes.” She pushed, nodding her head emphatically.
“Sandy, I’m only starting out heading to Texas. I don’t know what I’ll do when I get there.”
Scott could not believe she was doing this. This was insanity at its finest. Was she really that desperate to keep him in her life that she intended to put her own life on hold for as long as it took? And what the hell was she going to do if they found out that he was married or had a significant other out there? 
“So we’ll travel around Texas for however long it takes and if you don’t find what you’re looking for we’ll come back here and figure out our next move.”
“No, Sandy.”
“Look, do you really want to spend your foreseeable future riding buses, or hitching rides?” She eyed him, and though she tried to hide it, he caught the slight shudder. “Especially considering what happened to get you in this predicament to begin with?”
He ground his teeth together; did she think that it hadn’t already occurred to him? It was the one thing that was making this so damn hard, the one fear that he couldn’t stop from running through his veins, but his mind was made up, and he did not need her trying to use it against him.
“I’m going.” Scott raised his head in defiance.
“And you’ll be driving my Blazer.”
“I don’t know when I’ll be able to get it back to you.” When all else failed might as well try playing dumb.
“Well, since I’ll be with you, I don’t think that’ll be a problem.”
He groaned, “Sandy, I have to do this on my own.”
“No, you don’t.”
“Yes, I really do.”
She slowly moved toward him, “Scott, you’re headed towards nothing but uncertainty. Let me come with you so at least you have one thing familiar to hold on to.”
The worst part of it was that she was right. He was headed into the unknown and the idea of having her around wasn’t as bad as he wished it would be. At least with her by his side he wouldn’t be as uncomfortable and there would be someone there to watch his back. He felt himself giving in even though it would probably give her false hope for something more. 
Damn it.
“I say when, where, what and how.” He grudgingly muttered.
Sandy smiled, “You’re the boss.”
Scott mentally rolled his eyes; somehow he didn’t think he was.
***
Jensen dropped a kiss to the top of Nathan’s head before quietly moving out of the nursery and back into the hall. He paused at the door staring for a drawn out moment at his son, sleeping peacefully in his crib, before slowly pulling the door three quarters shut.
He leaned his forehead on the wall across from his son’s room and shut his eyes. Was he really going to do this? Could he really leave Nate for a week? Jared was only supposed to be gone for a week, at the most, and he’d never come home.
Opening his eyes, he reached down and picked up the duffle at his feet. I’ll be home in a week little man, I promise.
Squaring his shoulders, he glanced one last time at his son’s bedroom door, before silently moving down the hall.
He should have taken the risk and let Chris put the trace on his cell but he hadn’t. And he wasn’t going to call him up now and ask him if he would still be willing to do it. He didn’t want to wait any longer, didn’t want to listen to Jared begging to be allowed to come home, and never getting anywhere with his own begging in return.
After a long night of thinking he had come to the decision to take a week and search for Jared. At the end of that week, even if he hadn’t found Jared, he would come home and then beg for Chris’ help. But right now he had to try it his way. 
So, as he had explained to Steve that morning, he was going to head towards Buffalo, New York. That was where Jared had said he and Chad had been headed, all those months ago, except he was going to take the round about way. The police, volunteers and their families had scoured the main routes between Colorado and New York. He would take the back roads; the lesser traveled secondary highways. 
And armed with a picture of Jared, and one of Chad, he was going to find out where his husband had been and he was going to do what months of searching hadn’t been able to. He was going to find him.
He shouldn’t have been surprised to see Chris leaning against the living room wall. He knew that he and Steve had been talking more in the last week than they had in the last four months but it was still a shock to see his friend lounging there like it was any other day.
“If you’ve come to talk me out of going Chris you’re wasting your breath.”
“Not here for that, specifically.” His slow drawl was usually reassuring but today it only set Jensen on edge.
“Then why are you here?”
Jensen watched Steve appear from the kitchen carrying a travel mug. He glanced over at him as he moved up to Chris and handed it off to him.
“Thanks.”
“Yeah.” Steve replied softly as he moved past to settle on the arm of the couch.
“What the hell is going on here?” Jensen demanded harshly glaring from one to the other.
Chris took a drink from his mug as he watched him over the rim. Slowly he pulled the mug back and flashed a wry smile. “When you went to get Nate up from his nap the other day you left your cell on the coffee table. I went ahead and tapped it.” 
What? He shook his head, then glanced over at Steve. “Is this true?”
Steve ducked his head and rubbed at the back of his neck. “Yeah.”
He turned to Chris, “I told you no, Chris.”
“And I told you, you were fucking nuts.” He shot back.
Jensen felt his heart begin to pound. Really did it matter that he had told Chris no and he’d still gone ahead and done it? No. What mattered was that he was telling him before he took off searching on his own for a week; hopefully that could only mean one thing. 
“What did you find out?”
“As I’ve suspected all along, it’s a pay-per-use cell. Which means it’s not registered with any provider.” 
Jensen felt his hope shatter; so close, he had been so close. Then he mentally shook it off, it didn’t matter he was still going.
He shrugged to show that he was still paying attention.
“But I did find out the name of the closest town to the cell tower the calls are originating from.”
Jensen’s whole body tensed; this was what he needed. This would cut down his search area by hundreds, if not thousands, of miles and several wasted days. “Wh…” he had to swallow past his suddenly dry mouth. “Where is it?”
“Nah-uh.” Chris shook his head.
“What the fuck do you mean no?” He snarled and took a threatening step forward.
What kind of cruel game were his supposed friends playing? Didn’t they want to see him happy again? Didn’t they want Nathan to have his father back?
“Neither of us is willing to let you go into this by yourself.” Steve answered softly. “We’ve already lost Jared. We’re not losing you to some psycho friend of Chad’s.”
Not this again. He rolled his eyes. This was the most recent theory, which one of them had come up with and had shared with the other. That it wasn’t Jared but some nut friend of Chad’s, pissed off that he was locked up and facing life. They were concerned that this fictional friend would want to get back at Jensen for Chad’s incarceration, since he was the only one of the Ackles-Padalecki union left.
“I’m only saying this one more time.” He ground out past clenched teeth, “It’s Jared calling me. Not some buddy of Murray’s.”
“If it’s Jared why won’t he tell you where he is? Why does he only keep saying that he wants to come home? It’s just cruel, and whatever else Jared was, cruel wasn’t one of them.” Steve was trying to keep his voice calm but the edge of frustration was plain. 
Jensen bit back his retort; he and Steve had traveled this path so many times already that he pretty much had his friend’s responses memorized.
“Steve.” Chris said softly, breaking the moment.
Steve turned and looked imploringly at him, “Chris…”
Chris raised his free hand, “I know. Just…” he shook his head. “We’ve tried your way, now we’ll go mine.”
“Hey!” Jensen snarled, “Don’t talk about me like I’m not right here! You wanna talk about me, do it after I leave.” He took a step towards Chris, “And I am leaving, with or without you telling me what you know.”
“No you’re not.”
A harsh bark of laughter tore through his chest, “What?” He snapped, “You’re going to stop me?”
Chris pushed off the wall, but other than that he didn’t move. “No. What I’m going to do is go with you, to keep your sorry ass out of trouble.”
“I don’t need a babysitter Chris.”
He shrugged, “Maybe not but you do kinda need the info I’ve got. Without it you could wander for years without stumbling on any clue as to who is calling you or where from.”
“It’s Jared!”
“Fine. Fine! It’s Jared.” Chris allowed through thin lips, the only sign that he was starting to also lose his temper. “The point remains that you’ll never find anything without me.”
Jensen clutched his duffle tighter in his hand in the hope that it would stop him from hurling it at his friend. “If I find out that you fuckers are just humoring me, and you coming is gonna fuck with me looking for Jared, I’ll kill you.”
Chris nodded once, “Fair enough.”
He took a deep breath, “Fine. So where are we headed?”
Chris shook his head as he turned and walked up to Steve. In a move that surprised both Steve and Jensen, he gently cupped Steve’s chin and tilted his head up. “Take care of our godson. And I promise we’ll be home within a week.”
“O…okay.” Steve managed and then his eyes widened in shock as Chris leaned down and brushed his lips against his.
Jensen raised an eyebrow; he would think that he’d missed the fact that they were, obviously, trying to work out their problems, if it wasn’t for the absolute look of utter shock on Steve’s face.
“If we’re going, let’s go.” Chris said gruffly as he pulled away from Steve.
*** 
Part Three