(no subject)
My family are fuckwits. When you get something for someones birthday, you are meant to put thought into it. You do not go out and by something as major as furniture for someone and put no thought into it at all. You do not do something just because it is easier for you than making an effort and then expect tham to be happy about it. I am not being ungrateful. I don't give a shit about the material side of it. I just wish they had put some thought into it. Anyone who has spent 5 minutes talking to me would know that the person who picked this shit out was not thinking about me at the time. It is my mothers present as all this was done for my mothers benefit. Someone who barely knows me went out and bought a present that any idiot could see I would not like or want just so my mother would not have to lift a finger. I could here in my mothers tone when she told me that she knew I would be upset. I would not be so mad if it had not been for what happenede before this thoughtless gesture.
She made out like she was going to do something special. Like this birthday, she wanted to make a thoughtful gesture to show she cared (my mother is notorios for treating other peoples birthdays as unimportant and her own as a chance toget more things). She sounded like she got it through her head that I wasn't some kid anymore. But no. Now I am supposed to appreciate this thoughtless, empty gesture because it is better than nothing and I should be grateful I got anything at all. I don't need a big, grand present. I do not care what if it something small and cheap as long as it had thought put into it. Meaning to it. Someone taking the time and effort to think about who I am is the real gift. Not some material monstrosity that makes it clear that what little you know about me was not even thought of at the time is not a gift. It is not that I did not get what I wanted. It is that thy got me what THEY want. This is the sought of thing my mother would love, Again, in the end, it is her gift as any thought put into it was about her. I am no longer a child. I will not be happy with shiny things waved around with no thought or effort.
It is not about the object. But now she is mad at me. She wanted me to pretend. I hate pretending. Then I wanted her to make an effort, to do something special, but I guess she doesn't like doing that either. She wanted me to like it because it was a big material present. Because it was better than nothing. I would have preffered a card, just a card, with a beautiful, well though-out sentiment. I don't care that 'oooh, your mom bought you furniture' when it was clear it was something grabbed at the last minute, with no thought. Especially when she was the one making such a big deal out of 'but I just want to do this for you, for your future'. In the end, she couldn't even be bothered going shopping with me, which was part of the whole gesture for me in the first place. And now I have a mother who is mad at me, a sister who is awe-inspired by the size of the gift telling me I should take it (she does not believe in turning down material things) and this offensive thing turning up at my house tomorrow. I know, just KNOW, I am going to have to resist have one of my 'moods' and therefore resist burning it. Just when you think time may have mellowed you family out, they prove that what they want is more important than who you are and that you should try to act grateful that they covered this selfish effort with the guise that it was for you. My fanily have known me for x amount of years and they still don't know jack shit about me. They think I am mad because I wanted a 'better' version of said material object. They have no idea just how offended I really am.
Bugger it. Someone pass the gsoline, bonfire at my house tomorrow.
She made out like she was going to do something special. Like this birthday, she wanted to make a thoughtful gesture to show she cared (my mother is notorios for treating other peoples birthdays as unimportant and her own as a chance toget more things). She sounded like she got it through her head that I wasn't some kid anymore. But no. Now I am supposed to appreciate this thoughtless, empty gesture because it is better than nothing and I should be grateful I got anything at all. I don't need a big, grand present. I do not care what if it something small and cheap as long as it had thought put into it. Meaning to it. Someone taking the time and effort to think about who I am is the real gift. Not some material monstrosity that makes it clear that what little you know about me was not even thought of at the time is not a gift. It is not that I did not get what I wanted. It is that thy got me what THEY want. This is the sought of thing my mother would love, Again, in the end, it is her gift as any thought put into it was about her. I am no longer a child. I will not be happy with shiny things waved around with no thought or effort.
It is not about the object. But now she is mad at me. She wanted me to pretend. I hate pretending. Then I wanted her to make an effort, to do something special, but I guess she doesn't like doing that either. She wanted me to like it because it was a big material present. Because it was better than nothing. I would have preffered a card, just a card, with a beautiful, well though-out sentiment. I don't care that 'oooh, your mom bought you furniture' when it was clear it was something grabbed at the last minute, with no thought. Especially when she was the one making such a big deal out of 'but I just want to do this for you, for your future'. In the end, she couldn't even be bothered going shopping with me, which was part of the whole gesture for me in the first place. And now I have a mother who is mad at me, a sister who is awe-inspired by the size of the gift telling me I should take it (she does not believe in turning down material things) and this offensive thing turning up at my house tomorrow. I know, just KNOW, I am going to have to resist have one of my 'moods' and therefore resist burning it. Just when you think time may have mellowed you family out, they prove that what they want is more important than who you are and that you should try to act grateful that they covered this selfish effort with the guise that it was for you. My fanily have known me for x amount of years and they still don't know jack shit about me. They think I am mad because I wanted a 'better' version of said material object. They have no idea just how offended I really am.
Bugger it. Someone pass the gsoline, bonfire at my house tomorrow.