Fic: Tying the Knot 1/4
Title: Tying the Knot Part 1 (The One where McKay Finds a Husband in the Desert)
Rating: PG-13
Genre: Romance. AU. A bit of Humor
Pairing: McKay/Sheppard
Spoilers: None (Set before 101. Rising)
Warnings: One F. bomb. Always a Girl!McKay.
Word Count: 1.722
Notes: I’m a big fan of genderbenders and I truly believe Rodney would make the best woman ever. This is my attempt to write a girl!mckay. Hopefully it didn’t suck completely! This chapter was betaed by the excellent fic writer raging_pancake. Thank you so much!
Summary: The title is pretty much says all, but basically, Mckay gets drunk and marries a complete stranger in Vegas. And this stranger happens to be John Sheppard.
Part 1 - The One Where McKay Finds a Husband in the Desert
Something was poking her arm, interrupting her blissful unconscious state. Meredith swatted the offending thing that felt a lot like a hand and heard a faint throaty chuckle. She buried her face a little deeper into the pillow. Sleep, good. Waking up, bad.
A hand brushed softly against the side of her face, followed by a deep, drawled voice. "Wakey, wakey sweetheart.”
Reluctantly, Meredith pried her eyes open and winced at the sudden assault of light against her retinas. She squeezed her eyes shut, feeling her head pound and she couldn't help but groan pitifully. God, her head felt like someone had tried to land an Asgard ship on it. It hurt so damn much.
“Shit, forgot about the curtains, sorry," the voice mumbled apologetically. After a moment, the morning clarity ceased its attempts of slipping through her closed lids and the ache in her head finally began to ease. “There. Better?”
“Yeah,” she croaked, mouth and throat so dry they felt like she had been swallowing sand all night. Either that or the contents of her cat’s litter box, because the taste on her tongue was vile and nasty.
Meredith turned on her back in the sea of sheets and pillows and brought her left hand up to rub sleep out of her eyes. The motion felt strange. Something metallic kept catching on her skin.
Wait! Metallic? Ring finger?
Her eyes snapped open and Meredith stared in horror at the silver band adorning her hand.
“By the look on your face, I’m guessing you don’t remember either?” The voice inquired, reminding Meredith that she wasn’t alone.
She turned to look at the man sitting on the edge of the bed beside her. Tanned skin, lithe frame with broad shoulders, lazy smile, warm hazel eyes, funny ears and the worst case of bed hair she had ever seen. He waved a sheet of paper under her nose.
“Morning!” He greeted with forced cheerfulness. “I’m John, your husband, nice to meet you.”
“What?” Meredith exclaimed, sitting up quickly and grabbing the paper. Her hopes that it was just one big elaborate joke flew out the window when she saw the very authentic marriage license. Groaning, she let her body fall back on the bed. “How did this happen?”
“My best guess would be alcohol. Lots of it,” he replied absently, turning the wedding band on his finger. He seemed oddly comfortable and relaxed with the object.
“Why aren’t you freaking out!?” Meredith demanded, scowling. “This is a nightmare! A complete disaster!”
“Don’t be so dramatic, Mrs. Sheppard.” He snorted. “We’ll just get an annulment.”
Meredith sat up again, face lighting up at the prospect. “That’s actually not a bad idea.” She paused and once again scowled at him. “What the hell did you just call me?”
“Mrs. Sheppard.” He grinned slyly. “Since you’re my wife…”
Meredith was about to jump to her feet and so she could properly berate him, when she realized that underneath the sheets, she was naked. Her eyes widen in horror and she clutched the silky fabric against her body.
“Turn around,” she ordered and John snorted.
“By the amount of condom wrappers on the floor, it’s pretty safe to assume I’ve seen all of it before," he commented, but did as he was told, allowing Meredith to stand up with the sheet firmly wrapped around her body and head to the bathroom. She needed a shower.
Meredith adjusted the water to the right temperature and climbed under the hot spray, feeling the heat easing some on the tension in her shoulders. How the hell did she end up married with a guy she didn’t even know? That wasn’t something she would ever do. Not even drunk.
Closing her eyes and tilting her head back, Meredith replayed the events of the previous day in her head, trying to pinpoint exactly where this whole mess started.
She remembered arriving in Nevada for her lecture, courtesy of General O’Neill (that man should really learn that Meredith wasn’t one of his grunts he could order around), and having to nearly drown herself in sun block. That damn city from hell was like an oven.
The lecture had been a complete disaster. Meredith was used to dealing with the morons in her lab, but having the speak to a bunch of idiots who couldn’t identify a quark even if the thing dressed like a Hawaiian dancer and started to do the Hula or whatever under their nose was her own personal form of torture.
Afterwards, there were cocktails and Meredith had to dodge her host, who was way too friendly for her taste. That was when she slipped out of the conference and headed to the casino for a few rounds of blackjack.
From that point on, her memory started to get a little hazy; she was downing drinks like they were water. At some point, she remembered being joined on the table by… whatever his name is and they were playing and bickering because he could count cards as well as she could and after that, it kinda became a competition. That lasted until a couple of security guards politely asked them to leave.
After that, her memory was only a few flashes of images. Alcohol, loud music, colorful lights, more alcohol… Meredith remembered feeling like she was having the time of her life tagging along with him. But that was it. Nothing about the wedding or coming to this hotel room and having sex until they both passed out.
With a frustrated sigh, Meredith turned off the water and stepped out of the shower, feeling a little more human, but not completely yet. She needed coffee.
She quickly toweled herself dry and put on one of the fluffy white bathrobes hanging on the left wall of the bathroom. As she was wiping the condensation off the mirror, Meredith paused to take a better look on the silver band around her finger.
Silver, not gold. She had always hated that monstrous yellow color that clashed with her fair skin. Silver was much more subdued; classic, but modern at the same time. The band was quite simple, with no other adornments. Just a plain looking circle of silver. Meredith hated to admit, but it looked good on her hand and she kind of like the weight of it in her finger.
Shaking those thoughts out of her head, Meredith took a deep breath and stepped out of the bathroom. Her nose was immediately assaulted by the bittersweet aroma of coffee and she sighed happily, making her companion turn to look at her from his spot on the room table.
“Hey," he greeted with a small smile. “I ordered room service.”
“Coffee.” It wasn’t a request.
He poured some in a cup for her, that tiny smirk never leaving his face as Meredith stepped closer to the table.
“I talked to the receptionist and she said the City Hall is not far from here. We can get an annulment after breakfast," he informed her around a mouthful of toast and once more Meredith sighed because that was good news.
“Good. I wanna get this over with as quickly as possible.”
“I’ve noticed," he said with a small snort of amusement, eyes returning to newspaper in front of him, while Meredith dug into the food. She just realized she was starving.
Half-way through her meal, the distinct sound of a cell phone filled the air. “That’s the third time it rings. I thought about answering, but I figure you wouldn't have appreciated that,” he said, without lowering the newspaper.
“Well, you’re less of a moron than I first thought, Joe,” she snapped, surveying the room in search for her mobile.
“Nightstand,” he provided helpfully. “And also, it’s John.”
“Whatever.” She waved him off as she grabbed the phone and answered. “McKay.”
“Meredith! I’ve been calling for the better part of the morning. Where are you?”
“Still in Vegas. I guess I overslept,” Meredith replied with a sigh. She wasn’t in the mood to deal with Elizabeth. Her head still ached a little.
“Still? We have a meeting with General O’Neill in three hours. You need to get here!” Meredith felt her eyes go wide at the urgent tone in Elizabeth’s voice. She stalked towards John and grabbed his wrist, checking the time on his watch. It was past 11. Crap, crap, crap!
“I’ll be there as soon as possible. Just stall," she commanded and snapped her phone shut, without waiting for a reply. She started a frantic search for her clothes.
“What’s wrong?” John asked, a frown of concern on his face. Once again Meredith waved him off, focusing instead on getting her underwear and pants on without taking the bathrobe off.
“I need to go. You deal with this whole marriage mess.” She grabbed her blue cashmere blouse, scowling at the huge tear on the front. “What the hell?” She waved the garment in front of him. “Neanderthal much?”
“Sorry," John said sheepishly, but his eyes shone with some sort of smug pride. “I guess I got a little carried away last night.” He stood up and undid the white button down he had on. “Try this.”
Meredith took the offered cloth and headed back to the bathroom to get it on. It was a little big, especially lengthwise, but it would do for the moment. She finger combed her long, wavy hair into something that resembled order and tied in a ponytail, before stepping back out.
There was a notepad next to the room phone. Meredith quickly scrabbled her number on the top paper, tore it off the pad and trusted it on John/Joe/Whatever his name was’ chest.
“Call me when you fix this mess," she ordered and grabbed her shoes and coat from the carpet near the door and headed out, not waiting for a reply from her husband. She needed to get to Colorado and to that briefing. There was an Ancients’ outpost in Antarctica that she wanted to explore.
By the time Meredith reached Colorado and the Cheyenne Mountains, all thoughts of rings and marriage were gone from her mind and all there was left was all the technology she would get her hands on if she and Elizabeth manage to convince O’Neill to let them investigate the Ancients’ Outpost.
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