OMG a public journal
So, I'm writing this in hopes that someone reads it and knows it's for them. To Emi.
I've tried to get ahold of you online, only to find that I've been pretty much blocked from trying to reply to anything. I've sent an email in hopes that it is seen also. I understand, but am still hurt by what was said. But I'm always willing to forgive the ones I love, so I'll try if you are willing too. I don't like not being friends.
Hopefully you'll see either the email or this and reply back.
On other news....I look at my life and find big holes. A family that is broken and I don't feel part of. No matter how much I try to contact these people I am still left out of what's going on. Maybe it's my fault, but I really don't see how it is so.
Friendships that seem to end, when I know everyone has their problems....I try to just wait it out. But how long can one person be expected to wait?
Relationships that end so badly...how can they be fixed? Am I doing the right thing? When everything I tried to do in the past didn't work....is it worth fixing now?
Yesturday I had a job interview. I have to wait to find out if I get to go in for another interview/job. Hopefully I'll get the job....and if not...I don't know...have another interview lined up.
I miss my home....but really, where is home when you think about it? Is it where you grew up....or is it where you are? Some say it's where the heart is....but what if your heart is missing? Or being fixed?
How many times can a heart be fixed? Can someone do it for you? Or are you left to do that yourself?
We move at the end of the month. I'm excited to be in a new and more exciting town. Hopefully I will do well and won't miss Michigan so much. Because even thou I miss it and sometimes want to go back....I would be very sad to leave here. I'm just not sure where I belong.
But I guess everyone feels that way sometimes.
Anyway...that's about all I've got. Hopefully some really good news will be waiting for me tomorrow.
I've tried to get ahold of you online, only to find that I've been pretty much blocked from trying to reply to anything. I've sent an email in hopes that it is seen also. I understand, but am still hurt by what was said. But I'm always willing to forgive the ones I love, so I'll try if you are willing too. I don't like not being friends.
Hopefully you'll see either the email or this and reply back.
On other news....I look at my life and find big holes. A family that is broken and I don't feel part of. No matter how much I try to contact these people I am still left out of what's going on. Maybe it's my fault, but I really don't see how it is so.
Friendships that seem to end, when I know everyone has their problems....I try to just wait it out. But how long can one person be expected to wait?
Relationships that end so badly...how can they be fixed? Am I doing the right thing? When everything I tried to do in the past didn't work....is it worth fixing now?
Yesturday I had a job interview. I have to wait to find out if I get to go in for another interview/job. Hopefully I'll get the job....and if not...I don't know...have another interview lined up.
I miss my home....but really, where is home when you think about it? Is it where you grew up....or is it where you are? Some say it's where the heart is....but what if your heart is missing? Or being fixed?
How many times can a heart be fixed? Can someone do it for you? Or are you left to do that yourself?
We move at the end of the month. I'm excited to be in a new and more exciting town. Hopefully I will do well and won't miss Michigan so much. Because even thou I miss it and sometimes want to go back....I would be very sad to leave here. I'm just not sure where I belong.
But I guess everyone feels that way sometimes.
Anyway...that's about all I've got. Hopefully some really good news will be waiting for me tomorrow.