I'm still on it.
It's been almost a year since my last entry. I'm sorry. It's January again and again I have a big exam coming up, but instead of studying I write. Maybe I should plan more exams, ey? :) Truth be told there's a pretty simple real life explanation for this hiatus. I've put in for a semester abroad and from January to June I was busy keeping my grades up so they'd even consider me. July and August I was on the best trip I will ever be on in this lifetime, exploring California, Hawaii and Vegas. In the fall I was busy again with the application.
Lately though I've been having a bit of a "purpose" crisis if you will. See the University of Vienna once was one the best. A center for research, a beacon of knowledge. It has been crippled by politics and narrow-mindedness. All we ever do any more is learn stuff by heart. Please don't think. Please don't reflect on what we tell you. And above all, please don't pretend that Psychology is about human beings who cannot be put into neat categories. Forget that humans are messy and that their problems will spill into all areas of life, find friends, multiply, hide behind lies and shame. Oh, and don't try and find out if what you're studying is going to help you in your job later on. You won't have one anyway.
It's like I'm biding my time until I get out of here. And in this frustration I found my way back home. I've been writing and planning chapters and it's like taking a breath of fresh air after spending weeks in a room without any windows. Naturally, with the writing come the doubts. I wonder if you guys will read me again. So much has happened since I posted the last chapter. On the show, on LJ, in your life.
And LTW S5 will be very different. No more misunderstandings. Where S4 focused on their relationship, S5 is about their families. More original characters, a new background for Emily and a different ending. But I push these doubts away because I know I can't not write it. It has to come out. We'll just see what happens when it does.
Lately though I've been having a bit of a "purpose" crisis if you will. See the University of Vienna once was one the best. A center for research, a beacon of knowledge. It has been crippled by politics and narrow-mindedness. All we ever do any more is learn stuff by heart. Please don't think. Please don't reflect on what we tell you. And above all, please don't pretend that Psychology is about human beings who cannot be put into neat categories. Forget that humans are messy and that their problems will spill into all areas of life, find friends, multiply, hide behind lies and shame. Oh, and don't try and find out if what you're studying is going to help you in your job later on. You won't have one anyway.
It's like I'm biding my time until I get out of here. And in this frustration I found my way back home. I've been writing and planning chapters and it's like taking a breath of fresh air after spending weeks in a room without any windows. Naturally, with the writing come the doubts. I wonder if you guys will read me again. So much has happened since I posted the last chapter. On the show, on LJ, in your life.
And LTW S5 will be very different. No more misunderstandings. Where S4 focused on their relationship, S5 is about their families. More original characters, a new background for Emily and a different ending. But I push these doubts away because I know I can't not write it. It has to come out. We'll just see what happens when it does.