Lead the Way - Chapter 040 - Loud and Proud
I'm a big fan of questions. I am, however, an even bigger fan of answers. Hopefully you'll find some of the answers you've been looking for in this chapter...
Lead the Way - 040 - Loud and Proud
The place was packed. JJ was overwhelmed by the heat and the noise that seemed to form a concrete wall she had to push herself through in order to get in. Emily was walking in front of her, making way. JJ was slightly alarmed by how many beautiful women greeted her girlfriend, but she pushed those thoughts away quickly.
Of course people knew Emily. She had been out of the closet for years and JJ knew she wasn’t her first. But it was unsettling to see what she had only dared to think before. The blonde knew better than to show it and she gladly accepted Emily’s offer to get drinks while she waited by the table.
She now had time to look at the women. If she were to meet them on the street or on a case JJ would have assumed that most of them were straight. She briefly wondered just how many more were out there.
“Hey, gorgeous. You want some company?” The girl was not a day older than 25, long red hair, freckles all over her face, light green eyes.
“Hello. I am actually here with someone.”
“Really?” Apparently she didn’t get the hint.
“Yes, and … ahm… I don’t think she’d…” JJ was looking for a way to let the girl know that she had no interest in flirting with her, without being too rude.
“Hello Donna.”
“Oh hi Emily…” The focus of the redhead immediately turned to the profiler.
“I see you’ve met JJ?”
“I have. One of these days you have to tell me where you find them.”
“Actually… She found me.” Emily smiled at JJ.
“That’s a first. Well enjoy it while it lasts, gorgeous. And when she’s done with you, give me a call.” And with that, the redhead handed JJ a napkin with her number on it. Shocked, she looked at her lover. She wanted to ask what the stranger had meant by “when she’s done with you,” but she was interrupted.
Emily pulled her to the dance floor, demanding her full attention. JJ had never seen the other woman dance like this before. She was seductive and sexy and somehow a little dark, though JJ couldn’t really put a finger on it.
She could feel the beat resonating in her chest and her body responded on its own. As she realized just what she was doing here JJ began feeling dizzy. She was out in public. With Emily. With Emily dancing for her. They were surrounded by women like them. ‘Lesbians’. Thinking the word set her skin on fire.
She had flirted with one of them. Or had been flirted with, more accurately. Everyone could see her. Everyone could see that Emily had chosen her. She was out and she was loud and proud. JJ had never felt more aware, more in touch with her femininity, her body. Her knees became weak and she lost her rhythm.
Emily smiled broadly when she saw it and decided it was time to give her a break. She led her back to the table and went to get new drinks. JJ held on to the table as she watched her lover go to the bar. Her thoughts were anything but chaste when she was pulled out of them.
“Good evening. Do you mind if I put down my drink on your table for just a moment?” The voice was clear and high, the British accent thick. The woman who had made the request was mesmerizing. Curly brown hair, light green eyes, almost grey, elegant features, designer clothes.
“No, of course not,” JJ replied. As soon as she saw Emily’s face, she regretted her quick response.
“What are you doing, Helena?” Emily looked stern and angry.
“I am merely putting down my drink for a moment, Emily. My hands were getting cold. It’s nice to see you again.” JJ observed her co-worker closely. It seemed as though Emily relaxed just a little.
“Don’t you want to introduce me to your friend, Emily?”
“Hi, I am JJ.” Before this could get any uglier, Jennifer decided to step in.
“How nice to meet you. I am Helena Hamilton and, as I am sure you have gathered, an old friend of Emily’s.”
“It’s nice to meet you, too,” JJ replied, shaking the hand offered to her.
“Where’s your toy of the week?” Emily spat at Helena.
“In the loo,” Helena answered, apparently not at all taken aback by the fact that Emily had related to her date as an object. “She’s not my toy, though.”
“What do you mean?” Emily was getting nervous. Helena always had something up her sleeve. And given the smirk on her face, she was in for a treat.
“There she is.” Helena held out her hand to a tall, skinny, black woman with ice blue eyes. JJ was dazed by this combination.
“Sara?” The profiler felt her worlds collide and she sunk her nails into the table to keep her from loosing her countenance.
“Emily.” The voice was soft and gentle, like a lover greeting another. As the black woman was about to lean in and kiss her, Helena said:
“Sara, meet JJ, Emily’s girlfriend.” The last word was said with so much sarcasm JJ felt sick to her stomach. She wanted to reach out to her lover but Emily was too busy looking furiously at the women before her.
“So the rumors are true,” Sara said in the same tone to Emily, never taking her eyes off of JJ. “Somebody finally snatched the grand prize. Tell me, Blondie, what makes you think you can keep her coming home to you every night?”
“All right, that’s enough. Helena, I thought you had more… no… never mind… Let’s go home, JJ.”
The media liaison happily complied.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The drive to JJ’s house was quiet. Emily was still furious at Helena. This kind of mind game was right up her alley and she knew she should have expected something like this. Nevertheless, it surprised her that they had known she would be there.
Maybe she had been going to her favorite club for a while now and because she hadn’t been going out as much lately, Emily simply had dodged a bullet until tonight. Fear crept up her spine as she began to wonder if Helena and Sara were through with her.
Meanwhile, JJ was wrapped up in her own thoughts. She had learned more about Emily than she thought she would and she was frightened. The way Donna had told her that there would be a day the brunette would be ‘done with her’ was just as unsettling as the intimacy she had seen in Sara’s eyes just before she had leaned in to almost kiss Emily.
Obviously they shared a past but JJ was doubtful if this was actually a past. Emily and she hadn’t spoken about dating other people mainly because it had never occurred to JJ. She had been so sure of herself and known so little about the other woman that she had just assumed there would be no one else.
Now she felt naïve and childish. Before rushing to judgment though, she wanted to give her lover the chance to explain, tell her that she misunderstood what she had seen. She looked up and noted that they were already in her driveway. They had been for a couple of minutes by the looks of it.
Emily had turned off the engine and braced herself. She didn’t expect JJ to invite her in. She expected her to get out of the car, slam the door shut and never call her again. Emily had chosen this life of sexual intimacy without ever having a chance at love but she had been careful not to tell JJ that this was the only path for women like her - like them.
She knew she had been wrong, keeping this to herself, but she didn’t want to let JJ leave any sooner than she had to. As long as it would have taken her to figure it out, Emily wanted to enjoy their time together.
Now Helena and Sara had cleared that up for JJ and it was over. It had to be. JJ deserved better than this, better than anything Emily could ever provide. She deserved a fulfilled, loving life. Emily sighed and looked at the blonde.
JJ had tears in her eyes but she did her best to keep them inside. Her voice steady she asked:
“How long have you been seeing Sara?” This was not what she had expected, but Emily quickly replied.
“I haven’t.” After a moment she added: “Sara is just a friend…” JJ deserved her honesty. “Well… we have a past… but that’s it.”
“When did it end?”
JJ held her breath. She wasn’t sure she wanted to hear the answer.
“There was nothing to end. But the last time I saw her was in October.” JJ took a moment to think back. They had been in Tyler in October. She decided she didn’t want to know any more details and opted for another question.
“Do you want to see her?”
“No.” She looked straight at JJ and added: “I want to see you.” Before she could rethink it the younger woman asked back:
“Is that all you want?”
Misunderstanding her question, the brunette replied: “Yes. I only want to see you.”
“Right.”
Not sure if her lover had understood that she had meant to ask if she wanted to take their relationship further, JJ’s voice was cold. Communication was so much easier when it didn’t concern your own feelings…
Lead the Way - 040 - Loud and Proud
The place was packed. JJ was overwhelmed by the heat and the noise that seemed to form a concrete wall she had to push herself through in order to get in. Emily was walking in front of her, making way. JJ was slightly alarmed by how many beautiful women greeted her girlfriend, but she pushed those thoughts away quickly.
Of course people knew Emily. She had been out of the closet for years and JJ knew she wasn’t her first. But it was unsettling to see what she had only dared to think before. The blonde knew better than to show it and she gladly accepted Emily’s offer to get drinks while she waited by the table.
She now had time to look at the women. If she were to meet them on the street or on a case JJ would have assumed that most of them were straight. She briefly wondered just how many more were out there.
“Hey, gorgeous. You want some company?” The girl was not a day older than 25, long red hair, freckles all over her face, light green eyes.
“Hello. I am actually here with someone.”
“Really?” Apparently she didn’t get the hint.
“Yes, and … ahm… I don’t think she’d…” JJ was looking for a way to let the girl know that she had no interest in flirting with her, without being too rude.
“Hello Donna.”
“Oh hi Emily…” The focus of the redhead immediately turned to the profiler.
“I see you’ve met JJ?”
“I have. One of these days you have to tell me where you find them.”
“Actually… She found me.” Emily smiled at JJ.
“That’s a first. Well enjoy it while it lasts, gorgeous. And when she’s done with you, give me a call.” And with that, the redhead handed JJ a napkin with her number on it. Shocked, she looked at her lover. She wanted to ask what the stranger had meant by “when she’s done with you,” but she was interrupted.
Emily pulled her to the dance floor, demanding her full attention. JJ had never seen the other woman dance like this before. She was seductive and sexy and somehow a little dark, though JJ couldn’t really put a finger on it.
She could feel the beat resonating in her chest and her body responded on its own. As she realized just what she was doing here JJ began feeling dizzy. She was out in public. With Emily. With Emily dancing for her. They were surrounded by women like them. ‘Lesbians’. Thinking the word set her skin on fire.
She had flirted with one of them. Or had been flirted with, more accurately. Everyone could see her. Everyone could see that Emily had chosen her. She was out and she was loud and proud. JJ had never felt more aware, more in touch with her femininity, her body. Her knees became weak and she lost her rhythm.
Emily smiled broadly when she saw it and decided it was time to give her a break. She led her back to the table and went to get new drinks. JJ held on to the table as she watched her lover go to the bar. Her thoughts were anything but chaste when she was pulled out of them.
“Good evening. Do you mind if I put down my drink on your table for just a moment?” The voice was clear and high, the British accent thick. The woman who had made the request was mesmerizing. Curly brown hair, light green eyes, almost grey, elegant features, designer clothes.
“No, of course not,” JJ replied. As soon as she saw Emily’s face, she regretted her quick response.
“What are you doing, Helena?” Emily looked stern and angry.
“I am merely putting down my drink for a moment, Emily. My hands were getting cold. It’s nice to see you again.” JJ observed her co-worker closely. It seemed as though Emily relaxed just a little.
“Don’t you want to introduce me to your friend, Emily?”
“Hi, I am JJ.” Before this could get any uglier, Jennifer decided to step in.
“How nice to meet you. I am Helena Hamilton and, as I am sure you have gathered, an old friend of Emily’s.”
“It’s nice to meet you, too,” JJ replied, shaking the hand offered to her.
“Where’s your toy of the week?” Emily spat at Helena.
“In the loo,” Helena answered, apparently not at all taken aback by the fact that Emily had related to her date as an object. “She’s not my toy, though.”
“What do you mean?” Emily was getting nervous. Helena always had something up her sleeve. And given the smirk on her face, she was in for a treat.
“There she is.” Helena held out her hand to a tall, skinny, black woman with ice blue eyes. JJ was dazed by this combination.
“Sara?” The profiler felt her worlds collide and she sunk her nails into the table to keep her from loosing her countenance.
“Emily.” The voice was soft and gentle, like a lover greeting another. As the black woman was about to lean in and kiss her, Helena said:
“Sara, meet JJ, Emily’s girlfriend.” The last word was said with so much sarcasm JJ felt sick to her stomach. She wanted to reach out to her lover but Emily was too busy looking furiously at the women before her.
“So the rumors are true,” Sara said in the same tone to Emily, never taking her eyes off of JJ. “Somebody finally snatched the grand prize. Tell me, Blondie, what makes you think you can keep her coming home to you every night?”
“All right, that’s enough. Helena, I thought you had more… no… never mind… Let’s go home, JJ.”
The media liaison happily complied.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The drive to JJ’s house was quiet. Emily was still furious at Helena. This kind of mind game was right up her alley and she knew she should have expected something like this. Nevertheless, it surprised her that they had known she would be there.
Maybe she had been going to her favorite club for a while now and because she hadn’t been going out as much lately, Emily simply had dodged a bullet until tonight. Fear crept up her spine as she began to wonder if Helena and Sara were through with her.
Meanwhile, JJ was wrapped up in her own thoughts. She had learned more about Emily than she thought she would and she was frightened. The way Donna had told her that there would be a day the brunette would be ‘done with her’ was just as unsettling as the intimacy she had seen in Sara’s eyes just before she had leaned in to almost kiss Emily.
Obviously they shared a past but JJ was doubtful if this was actually a past. Emily and she hadn’t spoken about dating other people mainly because it had never occurred to JJ. She had been so sure of herself and known so little about the other woman that she had just assumed there would be no one else.
Now she felt naïve and childish. Before rushing to judgment though, she wanted to give her lover the chance to explain, tell her that she misunderstood what she had seen. She looked up and noted that they were already in her driveway. They had been for a couple of minutes by the looks of it.
Emily had turned off the engine and braced herself. She didn’t expect JJ to invite her in. She expected her to get out of the car, slam the door shut and never call her again. Emily had chosen this life of sexual intimacy without ever having a chance at love but she had been careful not to tell JJ that this was the only path for women like her - like them.
She knew she had been wrong, keeping this to herself, but she didn’t want to let JJ leave any sooner than she had to. As long as it would have taken her to figure it out, Emily wanted to enjoy their time together.
Now Helena and Sara had cleared that up for JJ and it was over. It had to be. JJ deserved better than this, better than anything Emily could ever provide. She deserved a fulfilled, loving life. Emily sighed and looked at the blonde.
JJ had tears in her eyes but she did her best to keep them inside. Her voice steady she asked:
“How long have you been seeing Sara?” This was not what she had expected, but Emily quickly replied.
“I haven’t.” After a moment she added: “Sara is just a friend…” JJ deserved her honesty. “Well… we have a past… but that’s it.”
“When did it end?”
JJ held her breath. She wasn’t sure she wanted to hear the answer.
“There was nothing to end. But the last time I saw her was in October.” JJ took a moment to think back. They had been in Tyler in October. She decided she didn’t want to know any more details and opted for another question.
“Do you want to see her?”
“No.” She looked straight at JJ and added: “I want to see you.” Before she could rethink it the younger woman asked back:
“Is that all you want?”
Misunderstanding her question, the brunette replied: “Yes. I only want to see you.”
“Right.”
Not sure if her lover had understood that she had meant to ask if she wanted to take their relationship further, JJ’s voice was cold. Communication was so much easier when it didn’t concern your own feelings…