*cracks up* Okay, that totally reminded me of this carol & I feel the need to share it with you. ;) (It's not the exact phrasing, but as best as I can remember.)
'As shepherds watched their flocks by night all seated on a bank an angel who was bored came down and taught them how to wank.'
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'As shepherds watched their flocks by night
all seated on a bank
an angel who was bored came down
and taught them how to wank.'
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