(no subject)
This post came about because of a picture I saw on Tumblr for a 'product' called an Anti-Masturbation Cross, which was a sort of velcro thing you supposedly could strap a kid into to stop them from masturbating. I posted on Facebook a rant about how that device was MEDICALLY unsound because it could cause nerve damage and blood loos in the crucifixion-style position it would strap said kids into, but here is a rant for a different angle on why its accompanying anti-masturbation, sex-fearing message is so very, very wrong:
I believe children should abstain from engaging in sex with other people until their brains and hearts have had a chance to mature enough to handle all the implications. They need to wait until they're hopefully old enough, mature enough, to consider in advance all the responsibilities and problems of catching a sexually transmitted disease, or of getting oneself or someone else pregnant, et cetera.
Admittedly picking an arbitrary age, such as 18, will force those who matured earlier to have to wait, while others just won't be ready for that kind of maturity for another ten years (yes, I've known 27 year olds who were not mentally or emotionally ready for sexual relationships), but we no longer live in small tribal units wherein the wisewoman or wiseman could keep an eye on developing youngsters and advance or delay their coming-of-adult-age ceremony to match what's going on in their thoughts and emotions as well as in their bodies.
I also think that children should be educated not only about abstaining, how to avoid getting an STD, what the body parts are, how they work, and how pregnancy happens, but they should be educated on what healthy, consensual sex IS. I do not think we should teach that abstinence is the "only" safe thing to do about sex.
Given proper self-hygiene is undertaken--keeping all the pertinent bits clean before and after--self-only masturbation is 100% healthy, and is the OTHER option to avoid sexually transmitted diseases. It can indeed be just as STD-free as abstinence, while holding the advantage taking the edge off of the body's very real physical needs. Furthermore, masturbation is a great stress-reliever, it relaxes the body and mind, it flushes the body with extra bloodflow which helps remove toxins, it flushes the bloodstream with natural highs such as serotonin and adrenaline, and can even boost self-esteem. (Obviously, mutual masturbation runs the risk of an STD passing along to or being received from your partner.)
It's vital to teach kids (remember, I'm talking lecture teaching, here, because they're not ready for anything hands-on) what safe, healthy, consensual sex is, because far too many have wound up in non-consensual, unhealthy sexual situations out of sheer ignorance. We cannot stop nor bullshit biology. Sex will happen. Even if a person identifies as asexual, there is a chance they could wind up in a situation that is sexual, and even the asexual needs to know, in-case-of-that-situation, what to look for to determine if this is a healthy situation or a potentially harmful one, on all three levels of physical, emotional, and mental health.
We need to teach people not to be afraid of sex, how to recognize warning signs when it's the sort that is physically, emotionally, and/or mentally abusive, AND how to recognize the signs of what a healthy physical, mental, and/or emotional sexual relationship is like.
That healthy physical relationship starts with your self. Literaly, it starts with understanding your own body, understanding how it works biologically, and understanding how you can find joy in touching and being touched. The human body IS designed to experience sexual pleasure. From a purely evolutionary stance, this makes sense because it encourages the species to seek out a partner and breed by making the whole process very happy-feeling. (Soooo much better than the sea-slug hermaphrodites who literally stab each other with penis-spines and then break off or chew off those spines and leave them in their partners. Our way is sooo much happier & downright pleasant to experience.) It's biology, it's natural, it arose from nature, there you go, have an ice cream cone.
From a theocratic standpoint, if God created human beings, then God created human beings whose bodies are meant to experience pleasure in sex. If God didn't want us to feel sensual pleasure, then we wouldn't feel it, period. We wouldn't have those happy bundles of nerves. But we do, and that means we're supposed to feel good when things are done right. Trust me, it isn't God demanding that we ignore our happy bodies or find shame in them, because that's how God created them.
(If you argue otherwise, then your "God" is a dickweed asshat of the highest order, by building our bodies to experience sexual pleasure and then demanding that we utterly ignore what God clearly and deliberately built into our bodies...and a "God" that is a dickweed asshat isn't actually God; he or she is a dickweed asshat internet troll style sadistic bastard with serious mental and emotional health issues. Do not worship any asshat dickweeds, and do not follow their "teachings", okay?)
If all you can do is parrot your holy book's thousands-of-years-old writings about shunning and shaming such things, then, well, God help you, because those same holy books couldn't even explain why we catch the common cold, other than 'evil spirits'. Those things were written a long time ago when ignorance of how the world work was normal, and most such holy books were written by human beings who wanted to guide (i.e. control) their followers' lives. But now we have the power of science on our side. Science has already proved the common cold happens because of viruses and bacteria. Science has also proven that for the ladies at least, that happy bundle of nerves' ONLY purpose in life is to give the ladies happy feelings during sex.
That's right: that happy combination of clitoris and grafenberg spot is a happy organ that has No Other Purpose Than Enjoying Sexual Pleasure. Can't say that about the penis and its happy nerve bundle spots, because it's all packaged together with the liquid waste plumbing sharing space with the playground. (That's right, your penises are like Swiss Army knives; multiple uses in a single tool!) But no, the clitoral organ's sole function is to get stimulated during sexual activities and make the woman feel happy. That's it.
Does that invalidate men's happy organs and happy feelings? Not in the least! It does, however, prove conclusively that sex = happy feelings. Evolution says this is perfectly fine. Religion...says a lot of bullshit, because if God created us, God wanted us to have happy feelings in sex, men and women both (because men and women both can experience said happy feelings). It's just that the PROOF of it lies in the woman's body, with the existence of an organ, a bundle of nerves, whose sole purpose is sexual happy feelings.
Again, if God did NOT want us to have happy sexy feelings, then it would be WAY easier for God to simply create us without those happy nerve bundles--God is omnipotent and omniscient, and can do anything faster tan you can blink. (If "God" cannot, then they're not an actual God.). Any holy book that tries to say God doesn't want us to feel happy sexy feelings is therefore LYING. Either it was created by human beings who were fallible and ignorant and manipulative-controlling in ways that would have suited their own era, but which have virtually no relevance to our modern enlightened lives, or it was created by a dickweed asshat trying to claim themselves a god. Either way, LYING about it all.
So for God's sake, DON'T be afraid of masturbation! Hell, it beats abstinence hands down...and yes, I know that's a pun! If your kid is masturbating, then they're learning how their body feels pleasure. They need to know how to do so safely (as certain techniques can cause damage to said tissues). They do not need to be yelled at and have the act called disgusting and immoral (when it clearly isn't against God's will, and/or just happens to be part and parcel of our biological evolution experience).
You can't just tell people what NOT to do; you have to also teach them or help them to learn what they CAN do, in order to ensure their life experience--whatever the subject, sexual or otherwise--is a healthy, positive learning experience. So for fuck's sake, God's sake, whatever's sake, don't believe any bullshit about masturbation being bad, or making you go crosseyed or whatever. It's healthy. Everyone should at least try it once or twice with themselves--yes, even asexuals, to be sure they know how their body works, and/or prefers not to work. After that, you can say you've tried it and it's not for you, and that's cool. Or if you do like it, you can be one of those asexuals on the spectrum who have no sexual feelings for others but who can enjoy a good stress-relieving session now and again.
Because it's honestly a healthy, normal, natural thing. Most people like it. Some people prefer other things. But you won't know until you try it, and you won't know how to do it safely until yo ulearn it. Sex education is therefore vital for everyone to learn.
~Lotm