Clandestine - chapter one
A/N: My apologies---this HRE-is-Germany theory is certainly twisted, but every dream needs its chance to soar, right?... Sorry, Italy.
Title: Clandestine
Rating: Nc-17 (or M)
Pairings: Germany/Italy (Ludwig/Feliciano), HRE/Italy, and ~in a twisted sort of way~ Germany-is-HRE/Italy...
Warnings: "angst" always deserves its own warning, because while this is a 'romance', I realize most of you would rather skip over the heartache. That being said, I'd like to include 'sex', a certain degree of 'violence', and perhaps a bit of 'language' to the list, as well as the possibility of 'dub-con' if this turns out the way I have everything planned...
Fun Facts: ...can be found at the bottom of the page. If you're not a history buff, don't sweat it-I'll explain most of the information I use at the end of every chapter.
Con-crit: I'm not a published author, and I realize that some of my commas might've migrated between sentences, so I'll accept any advice you can give me. Seriously, have at it, darlings.
Disclaimer: Hetalia belongs entirely to Hidekaz Himaruya.
Summary: The grandson of Rom and the lover of Germany, Italy doesn't know what to do when faced with the absolute power of the Holy Roman Empire-an old friend and a long lost love, the first man to ever hold his heart. Try as he might, he can't prevent the past from unraveling at his fingertips...
~*~/\\\~*~/\\\~*~/\\\~*~
By the hands of none other than Napoleon Bonaparte, 1806 bore witness to the dawning of a new Confederation and the swift cessation of a most persistent Empire. With the abdication of the Holy Roman Emperor, Francis the Second, the kingdom's liberated German Princes aspired to create what would ultimately lead to a naissance of nations. Each entity would eventually declare their own independence, yearning to stand before the world, personified, as so many of those that had come before them.
And in due course there would come another, through Empire, Republic, and Reich, until the Federal Republic of Germany could look outside his office window at the streets that were his veins and the people that were his blood, and know that he would remain for many years to come, alive in every heart, even if all that lingered of him was nothing more than a whisper. With that alone, he could survive almost anything. He was Germany, after all. He would persist.
But he was hardly the first to think that, and he certainly wouldn't be the last.
The Holy Roman Empire, after all, was much more than a meagre stretch of land...
~*~/\\\~*~/\\\~*~/\\\~*~
It was raining.
Feliciano didn't mind the rain. He even enjoyed it on days such as these, when the heat was sweltering and his sweat-damp shirt clung to his back. Sticky and hot and almost heaving in the humid air, he paused in his mopping to push the kitchen shutters open as far as they could manage and stood there for a moment to appreciate the cool breeze that had accompanied the midday storm. It reminded him of days spent dallying in the fields; of losing track of time and running home late in a light drizzle, frock hiked up around his knees with a bundle of flowers heaped in the cradle of his apron. Austria would scold him about the importance of punctuality as Hungary fussed over his wet hair, and then he would wander off to see if Holy Roma wanted to paint or chat or simply be with him, even if it was only for an hour, because tomorrow he'd be leaving again. Like he always did...
He missed the Holy Roman Empire.
More than anyone would ever know.
He left the windows open as he washed the kitchen floor until his bones began to ache from the chill and the rumble of thunder drowned out the sound of his humming. The house smelt heavenly, and his floors were clean, and maybe he still needed to change the bedspread before he was finished for the day, but that mattered little when he knew his lover would be a here tonight. So he closed the shutters and lit a few candles, and went about doing what he did best.
He'd never tried to make Gefülte Nudelnbefore, but he was familiar with Kummelweck, and by the time he had the table set, Ludwig was struggling to wiggle his key lose from the new lock on the front door. Then his eyes fell on Feliciano and the key pulled free, and he blushed the most handsome shade of red Feliciano had ever seen.
"Guten Abend, Italien," he mumbled quietly.
When he saw what the Italian had prepared for dinner, it brought a smile to his face.
Feliciano greeted him with a kiss.
~*~/\\\~*~/\\\~*~/\\\~*~
Ludwig was a proud man. He was fierce in his determination and persistent in his endeavours; a formable ally when given a chance. He was reliable in a crisis and well-known for his attention to detail, but unless he was needed for anything more than his regular duties he was content with living his life as he always had, doing whatever he wanted, whenever he wanted, and with whom. That was all.
And he couldn't have been happier.
His days consisted of meetings and phone-calls and a never-ending pile of paperwork that grew more often than it ever shrank, but he had duties here, too, in the bedroom, where Feli was the instrument of his heart's desire, and where Ludwig could pretend he was a musician, pulling gasps and moans and the most delightful little noises from those gloriously soft lips. Feliciano, with his legs wrapped around Ludwig's waist and his ankles crossed behind the German's back, was the only one that knew his every side, and was the only one that ever would. His first and only love...
Feliciano Vargas.
Here, beneath his hands, warm and slick and oh so very inviting, Ludwig could show his oldest friend the man he wanted him to see, the one that was compassionate, and loyal, and loved. Loved by Italy.
Always by Italy...
Feliciano came with a cry; Ludwig dove headfirst into the fire after him.
He would gladly burn for him.
When he could breathe again, he pulled free of the Italian and collapsed beside him, quiet and lax and entirely too satisfied with himself. Feliciano looked good post-coital-smiling, sighing, still trying to catch his breath-as he reached out for Ludwig's hand and threaded their fingers together. Then he kissed Ludwig's knuckles and closed his eyes...
It was moments like these that Ludwig wanted to last forever, where both he and Feliciano were completely at ease. So he kissed Feliciano's hand in turn before the smaller man could drift away, and asked him what he would want in if he could have one wish.
"But I'm already happy," he yawned, turning over onto his side to face his lover. Feliciano's smile was lazy as he was enveloped by the German's arms, and broadened when Ludwig kissed the crown of his head. "I don't have any more wishes."
"I understand... but even if you thought it was trivial, what would it be?"
"I suppose..." He lulled off for a moment there, breathing softly, as though surrendering to his exhaustion. Ludwig wondered if he had eventually fallen asleep, but then Feliciano shifted in his arms and continued, "You know, I had a friend once," -another yawn masked as a sigh- "He died when I was very young. Alone, I think, because I wasn't told until much later..."
"I'm sorry," Ludwig murmured, because he hadn't meant to ruin the mood.
"Don't be," Feliciano whispered as he snuggled closer. Ludwig could hear the smile in his voice. "I think I would want one last chance to say goodbye...and to tell him I wasn't angry or sad because of him, even if he promised he'd come back someday. I don't want to think he died with that guilt."
He hummed in agreement and stroked Feliciano's hair, and thought about all the promises he'd made over time to the people that he loved. No more wars; no more bigotry. He had had his fill of that in the twentieth century...
With one last kiss to the top of that auburn head, he pulled the Italian closer and settled into a more comfortable position, listening as Feliciano's breaths evened out, gradually slowly, until Ludwig's mind drifted to another plane of existence...
He dreamt of an open field and a sea of flowers-and a child kneeling in the shade of a tree as she collected blossoms in the lap of her skirt. He called to her, and she turned to look, but before he could put a name to that smiling face he found himself standing in the midst of battle, blood on his hands, as a Frenchman sheathed a sword in his fragile, little body...
~*~/\\\~*~/\\\~*~/\\\~*~
If she could wish for anything, Liechtenstein would ask for the opportunity to repay her brother, in full, for all the kindness he had ever shown her. If she had more land, she would gladly give it to him; if she had more people, they would pledge their allegiance to him.
And if she had had even an ounce of power, well...she would give everything to him.
If only she were stronger.
Then she could repay him...
But all he really wanted was a simple 'goodnight'.
"Sleep well," he said before turning away, footsteps fading down the hall. She watched Switzerland's back until he disappeared around the corner, and then she closed her bedroom door, lost to her thoughts...
That night, she dreamt of 1806, the year of her birth, when a handful of threads from another's existence coiled together to weave the very fabric of her life. And then she dreamt a little farther back to a war that was not quite her own-to a people that were not quite her own-before she felt it breaking away, almost violently, as though it was never hers to begin with...
When she woke the next morning, Liechtenstein felt at a lose.
Somehow, she knew she was incomplete...
Irreparably incomplete...
~*~/\\\~*~/\\\~*~/\\\~*~
After a seemingly eternity of solitude, he stirred...
[Next chapter: chapter two]
A/N: If you have any comments, questions, or concerns, feel free to drop me a note. Regardless of whether or not you actually do, I hope you enjoyed the chapter!
Fun facts:
1) The aforementioned "Confederation" refers to the 'Confederation of the Rhine' (which would later become the 'German Confederation', and then the 'North German Federation' (to cut out Austria), and then the 'German Empire', and then... You can probably tell where I'm going with this). Likewise, the "Empire"refers to the Holy Roman Empire (or, as it was referred to by the 16th century, the 'Holy Roman Empire of the German Nation'), which was dissolved during the Napoleonic Wars when Bonaparte sufficiently squashed it to make his French, little satellite, the Confederation of the Rhine. Gosh-darnit, Francis...why couldn't you have left things well enough alone, huh?
2) The 'German Princes': Interesting story-the Holy Roman Empire wasn't really a country or state, but more of a congregation of entities that were governed by bishops, dukes, and kings (and the like) that were collectively known as the 'princes'. They later banded together to form the first 16 German states of the federation, which, in turn, would eventually lead to the beautiful Germany we know and love today!
3) I'm trying desperately to find the article again, but someone has Himaruya quoted as say something along the lines of Liechtenstein rising from the Holy Roman Empire's ashes. The Empire "ended" on the 6th of August, 1806, and Liechtenstein's "birthday" has been penned down as July 12th, 1806, when she first gained Independence through her accession to the Confederation of the Rhine. I could go on, and on, and on about our darling Lili, but you'll learn more about her over the course of the story. Even as a minor character, she plays an important part in the plot...
4) Here's one more totally random (but equally fun) fact: Even if you're a hardcore Holy Roman Empire fan, you can't hate Napoleon completely-the French Revolution is what propelled our dear, sweet Feliciano into taking matters into his own hands as far as nationhood goes, and it was through Napoleon that he became the Kingdom of Italy, with none other than Bonaparte himself as King (Eugène de Beauharnai was his viceroy). Spread the love, darlings...
Title: Clandestine
Rating: Nc-17 (or M)
Pairings: Germany/Italy (Ludwig/Feliciano), HRE/Italy, and ~in a twisted sort of way~ Germany-is-HRE/Italy...
Warnings: "angst" always deserves its own warning, because while this is a 'romance', I realize most of you would rather skip over the heartache. That being said, I'd like to include 'sex', a certain degree of 'violence', and perhaps a bit of 'language' to the list, as well as the possibility of 'dub-con' if this turns out the way I have everything planned...
Fun Facts: ...can be found at the bottom of the page. If you're not a history buff, don't sweat it-I'll explain most of the information I use at the end of every chapter.
Con-crit: I'm not a published author, and I realize that some of my commas might've migrated between sentences, so I'll accept any advice you can give me. Seriously, have at it, darlings.
Disclaimer: Hetalia belongs entirely to Hidekaz Himaruya.
Summary: The grandson of Rom and the lover of Germany, Italy doesn't know what to do when faced with the absolute power of the Holy Roman Empire-an old friend and a long lost love, the first man to ever hold his heart. Try as he might, he can't prevent the past from unraveling at his fingertips...
~*~/\\\~*~/\\\~*~/\\\~*~
By the hands of none other than Napoleon Bonaparte, 1806 bore witness to the dawning of a new Confederation and the swift cessation of a most persistent Empire. With the abdication of the Holy Roman Emperor, Francis the Second, the kingdom's liberated German Princes aspired to create what would ultimately lead to a naissance of nations. Each entity would eventually declare their own independence, yearning to stand before the world, personified, as so many of those that had come before them.
And in due course there would come another, through Empire, Republic, and Reich, until the Federal Republic of Germany could look outside his office window at the streets that were his veins and the people that were his blood, and know that he would remain for many years to come, alive in every heart, even if all that lingered of him was nothing more than a whisper. With that alone, he could survive almost anything. He was Germany, after all. He would persist.
But he was hardly the first to think that, and he certainly wouldn't be the last.
The Holy Roman Empire, after all, was much more than a meagre stretch of land...
~*~/\\\~*~/\\\~*~/\\\~*~
It was raining.
Feliciano didn't mind the rain. He even enjoyed it on days such as these, when the heat was sweltering and his sweat-damp shirt clung to his back. Sticky and hot and almost heaving in the humid air, he paused in his mopping to push the kitchen shutters open as far as they could manage and stood there for a moment to appreciate the cool breeze that had accompanied the midday storm. It reminded him of days spent dallying in the fields; of losing track of time and running home late in a light drizzle, frock hiked up around his knees with a bundle of flowers heaped in the cradle of his apron. Austria would scold him about the importance of punctuality as Hungary fussed over his wet hair, and then he would wander off to see if Holy Roma wanted to paint or chat or simply be with him, even if it was only for an hour, because tomorrow he'd be leaving again. Like he always did...
He missed the Holy Roman Empire.
More than anyone would ever know.
He left the windows open as he washed the kitchen floor until his bones began to ache from the chill and the rumble of thunder drowned out the sound of his humming. The house smelt heavenly, and his floors were clean, and maybe he still needed to change the bedspread before he was finished for the day, but that mattered little when he knew his lover would be a here tonight. So he closed the shutters and lit a few candles, and went about doing what he did best.
He'd never tried to make Gefülte Nudelnbefore, but he was familiar with Kummelweck, and by the time he had the table set, Ludwig was struggling to wiggle his key lose from the new lock on the front door. Then his eyes fell on Feliciano and the key pulled free, and he blushed the most handsome shade of red Feliciano had ever seen.
"Guten Abend, Italien," he mumbled quietly.
When he saw what the Italian had prepared for dinner, it brought a smile to his face.
Feliciano greeted him with a kiss.
~*~/\\\~*~/\\\~*~/\\\~*~
Ludwig was a proud man. He was fierce in his determination and persistent in his endeavours; a formable ally when given a chance. He was reliable in a crisis and well-known for his attention to detail, but unless he was needed for anything more than his regular duties he was content with living his life as he always had, doing whatever he wanted, whenever he wanted, and with whom. That was all.
And he couldn't have been happier.
His days consisted of meetings and phone-calls and a never-ending pile of paperwork that grew more often than it ever shrank, but he had duties here, too, in the bedroom, where Feli was the instrument of his heart's desire, and where Ludwig could pretend he was a musician, pulling gasps and moans and the most delightful little noises from those gloriously soft lips. Feliciano, with his legs wrapped around Ludwig's waist and his ankles crossed behind the German's back, was the only one that knew his every side, and was the only one that ever would. His first and only love...
Feliciano Vargas.
Here, beneath his hands, warm and slick and oh so very inviting, Ludwig could show his oldest friend the man he wanted him to see, the one that was compassionate, and loyal, and loved. Loved by Italy.
Always by Italy...
Feliciano came with a cry; Ludwig dove headfirst into the fire after him.
He would gladly burn for him.
When he could breathe again, he pulled free of the Italian and collapsed beside him, quiet and lax and entirely too satisfied with himself. Feliciano looked good post-coital-smiling, sighing, still trying to catch his breath-as he reached out for Ludwig's hand and threaded their fingers together. Then he kissed Ludwig's knuckles and closed his eyes...
It was moments like these that Ludwig wanted to last forever, where both he and Feliciano were completely at ease. So he kissed Feliciano's hand in turn before the smaller man could drift away, and asked him what he would want in if he could have one wish.
"But I'm already happy," he yawned, turning over onto his side to face his lover. Feliciano's smile was lazy as he was enveloped by the German's arms, and broadened when Ludwig kissed the crown of his head. "I don't have any more wishes."
"I understand... but even if you thought it was trivial, what would it be?"
"I suppose..." He lulled off for a moment there, breathing softly, as though surrendering to his exhaustion. Ludwig wondered if he had eventually fallen asleep, but then Feliciano shifted in his arms and continued, "You know, I had a friend once," -another yawn masked as a sigh- "He died when I was very young. Alone, I think, because I wasn't told until much later..."
"I'm sorry," Ludwig murmured, because he hadn't meant to ruin the mood.
"Don't be," Feliciano whispered as he snuggled closer. Ludwig could hear the smile in his voice. "I think I would want one last chance to say goodbye...and to tell him I wasn't angry or sad because of him, even if he promised he'd come back someday. I don't want to think he died with that guilt."
He hummed in agreement and stroked Feliciano's hair, and thought about all the promises he'd made over time to the people that he loved. No more wars; no more bigotry. He had had his fill of that in the twentieth century...
With one last kiss to the top of that auburn head, he pulled the Italian closer and settled into a more comfortable position, listening as Feliciano's breaths evened out, gradually slowly, until Ludwig's mind drifted to another plane of existence...
He dreamt of an open field and a sea of flowers-and a child kneeling in the shade of a tree as she collected blossoms in the lap of her skirt. He called to her, and she turned to look, but before he could put a name to that smiling face he found himself standing in the midst of battle, blood on his hands, as a Frenchman sheathed a sword in his fragile, little body...
~*~/\\\~*~/\\\~*~/\\\~*~
If she could wish for anything, Liechtenstein would ask for the opportunity to repay her brother, in full, for all the kindness he had ever shown her. If she had more land, she would gladly give it to him; if she had more people, they would pledge their allegiance to him.
And if she had had even an ounce of power, well...she would give everything to him.
If only she were stronger.
Then she could repay him...
But all he really wanted was a simple 'goodnight'.
"Sleep well," he said before turning away, footsteps fading down the hall. She watched Switzerland's back until he disappeared around the corner, and then she closed her bedroom door, lost to her thoughts...
That night, she dreamt of 1806, the year of her birth, when a handful of threads from another's existence coiled together to weave the very fabric of her life. And then she dreamt a little farther back to a war that was not quite her own-to a people that were not quite her own-before she felt it breaking away, almost violently, as though it was never hers to begin with...
When she woke the next morning, Liechtenstein felt at a lose.
Somehow, she knew she was incomplete...
Irreparably incomplete...
~*~/\\\~*~/\\\~*~/\\\~*~
After a seemingly eternity of solitude, he stirred...
[Next chapter: chapter two]
A/N: If you have any comments, questions, or concerns, feel free to drop me a note. Regardless of whether or not you actually do, I hope you enjoyed the chapter!
Fun facts:
1) The aforementioned "Confederation" refers to the 'Confederation of the Rhine' (which would later become the 'German Confederation', and then the 'North German Federation' (to cut out Austria), and then the 'German Empire', and then... You can probably tell where I'm going with this). Likewise, the "Empire"refers to the Holy Roman Empire (or, as it was referred to by the 16th century, the 'Holy Roman Empire of the German Nation'), which was dissolved during the Napoleonic Wars when Bonaparte sufficiently squashed it to make his French, little satellite, the Confederation of the Rhine. Gosh-darnit, Francis...why couldn't you have left things well enough alone, huh?
2) The 'German Princes': Interesting story-the Holy Roman Empire wasn't really a country or state, but more of a congregation of entities that were governed by bishops, dukes, and kings (and the like) that were collectively known as the 'princes'. They later banded together to form the first 16 German states of the federation, which, in turn, would eventually lead to the beautiful Germany we know and love today!
3) I'm trying desperately to find the article again, but someone has Himaruya quoted as say something along the lines of Liechtenstein rising from the Holy Roman Empire's ashes. The Empire "ended" on the 6th of August, 1806, and Liechtenstein's "birthday" has been penned down as July 12th, 1806, when she first gained Independence through her accession to the Confederation of the Rhine. I could go on, and on, and on about our darling Lili, but you'll learn more about her over the course of the story. Even as a minor character, she plays an important part in the plot...
4) Here's one more totally random (but equally fun) fact: Even if you're a hardcore Holy Roman Empire fan, you can't hate Napoleon completely-the French Revolution is what propelled our dear, sweet Feliciano into taking matters into his own hands as far as nationhood goes, and it was through Napoleon that he became the Kingdom of Italy, with none other than Bonaparte himself as King (Eugène de Beauharnai was his viceroy). Spread the love, darlings...