(no subject)
dear god, i don't want to stay here for the rest of my life.
perhaps it's partially the sudden lack of boyfriend; the being cooped up all day; the persistent sore throat and jet lag; the readjustment to living in the united states again... with my father.
but i don't want to end up one of those drab middle agers going about impasively their shopping. i dont want to work all day at an office and stop by the supermarket on the way home for cheezits, all the joy leaked out of my pores, crumpling into wrinkles and short frizzy hair.
the pertness of the wellgroomed young woman marching down the asle made me want to die. straight shoulder length brown hair, clean tight cotton clothes, minimal makeup, clear skin.
i know she'll fade. this gravel pit town doesn't have it in itself to maintain anything but monotony and generic pharmacies. saline spray (free with rebate) is exciting.
where do i fall?
i don't have it in me to mimic the bottle blond cashier's southern style friendliness and interest in pie crust. (though she had a northeastern accent, that conversation was pure south.)
in spite of the trees, i hate it here. it lacks new paltz's ecentricity and... well, culture. i would have liked nothing better today than to walk the rail trail. and come back to my boy.
i wasn't happy in new paltz either, but it's harder to remember that now.
home is always where you're not.
perhaps it's partially the sudden lack of boyfriend; the being cooped up all day; the persistent sore throat and jet lag; the readjustment to living in the united states again... with my father.
but i don't want to end up one of those drab middle agers going about impasively their shopping. i dont want to work all day at an office and stop by the supermarket on the way home for cheezits, all the joy leaked out of my pores, crumpling into wrinkles and short frizzy hair.
the pertness of the wellgroomed young woman marching down the asle made me want to die. straight shoulder length brown hair, clean tight cotton clothes, minimal makeup, clear skin.
i know she'll fade. this gravel pit town doesn't have it in itself to maintain anything but monotony and generic pharmacies. saline spray (free with rebate) is exciting.
where do i fall?
i don't have it in me to mimic the bottle blond cashier's southern style friendliness and interest in pie crust. (though she had a northeastern accent, that conversation was pure south.)
in spite of the trees, i hate it here. it lacks new paltz's ecentricity and... well, culture. i would have liked nothing better today than to walk the rail trail. and come back to my boy.
i wasn't happy in new paltz either, but it's harder to remember that now.
home is always where you're not.