Closure
Closure: The act of closing or being closed. An end or finishing
I find that I am close to finishing to a chapter in my life that I hope someday upon rereading won't be quite so painful the second time around. I have made peace with some of the demons that have haunted me all summer long. Things haven't turned out exactly they way I wished with some of those demons, but none of them chase me through the night any longer.
It has been a long summer, one of lessons learned, losses counted, lessons learned and knowledge gained. I pray I never have another summer like the one just passed; but now, looking back, I would not change a thing.
I have learned a lot about myself this summer. I know that I can endure more than I ever thought possible and come out the other side whole, if not unscathed. I learned to trust myself and to live with and love who I am. I don't have to be happy with the outside, to like the inside. Outsides are malleable; I can and will change what I don't like about my outward appearance. Insides are more durable, yet fragile in their own right. If you don't nourish them, protect them the shrivel and die; yet feed them with love and knowledge and all you have to do is sit back and watch them soar.
I don't want to live a closed off, fearful existence anymore. I don't want to be so afraid of loss that I don't really live. I will be me, and those that don't/can't/won't except that…well, they can simply go shag themselves. I learned the truth of who I am and what I want out of life this summer. I learned that just because I love and want someone in my life I don't need them; I won't shrivel up and die without them. I may even blossom when I no longer live in their shadow. The funny thing is, I was the one that planted myself in so many shadows.
So, I learned to uproot myself and replant in a somewhat sunnier location. I know that I don't belong in the full sun. The only spotlight for me is the one on stage, but partly shaded is fine by me. I like being the backbone that holds things together, but I will no longer hold on so tight that the only thing I accomplish is getting splinters in my hands and driving away my shade. That, is a lesson I am not likely to ever forget.
I close the door on summer, on so many things, some are locked, others are simply gently shut should so they can be opened again at the right time. At the same time, I throw wide open the windows of opportunity and breath in the cool refreshing scent of autumn.
I find that I am close to finishing to a chapter in my life that I hope someday upon rereading won't be quite so painful the second time around. I have made peace with some of the demons that have haunted me all summer long. Things haven't turned out exactly they way I wished with some of those demons, but none of them chase me through the night any longer.
It has been a long summer, one of lessons learned, losses counted, lessons learned and knowledge gained. I pray I never have another summer like the one just passed; but now, looking back, I would not change a thing.
I have learned a lot about myself this summer. I know that I can endure more than I ever thought possible and come out the other side whole, if not unscathed. I learned to trust myself and to live with and love who I am. I don't have to be happy with the outside, to like the inside. Outsides are malleable; I can and will change what I don't like about my outward appearance. Insides are more durable, yet fragile in their own right. If you don't nourish them, protect them the shrivel and die; yet feed them with love and knowledge and all you have to do is sit back and watch them soar.
I don't want to live a closed off, fearful existence anymore. I don't want to be so afraid of loss that I don't really live. I will be me, and those that don't/can't/won't except that…well, they can simply go shag themselves. I learned the truth of who I am and what I want out of life this summer. I learned that just because I love and want someone in my life I don't need them; I won't shrivel up and die without them. I may even blossom when I no longer live in their shadow. The funny thing is, I was the one that planted myself in so many shadows.
So, I learned to uproot myself and replant in a somewhat sunnier location. I know that I don't belong in the full sun. The only spotlight for me is the one on stage, but partly shaded is fine by me. I like being the backbone that holds things together, but I will no longer hold on so tight that the only thing I accomplish is getting splinters in my hands and driving away my shade. That, is a lesson I am not likely to ever forget.
I close the door on summer, on so many things, some are locked, others are simply gently shut should so they can be opened again at the right time. At the same time, I throw wide open the windows of opportunity and breath in the cool refreshing scent of autumn.