Fanfic: The Strange and Disturbing Saga of Linda Danvers, the One and Only Supergirl
Erm . . . so I didn't quite manage to come out of hibernation. I've been working on stories piecemeal, but nothing's coming en masse or in the right order, so I haven't been posting.
This thing, however, decided to blindside me and demand to be written, which I did, and then demanded to be posted. It's much farther along the canon timeline than any of the other House of El stuff I've posted, but I have fics set before and after this fic in the universe, though nothing after this has been posted yet.
Title: The Strange and Disturbing Saga of Linda Danvers, the One and Only Supergirl
Fandom: DC comics
Series: House of El
Pairing/Characters: gen; Linda Danvers/Matrix/Supergirl, Kara Zor-El, Kon-El
Rating: PG
Summary: AU. Linda reflects on her life and wonders how to decide where to go now.
Disclaimer: DC owns them, I hijack them and give them new lives.
Author's Notes: So, this series gave me a convenient outlet for my odd affinity for Peter David’s Supergirl, a title I’ve only read the first dozen or so issues of. But she’s fantastic, and one of the reasons I’m in DC, and even though her continuity is enough to give even superhero fans a headache, I decided to leap when I realized this AU gave me an opening to save her from the limbo she’s in with canon right now.
Word Count: 1,073
I have a lot of memories of things that didn’t happen. Or rather, things that didn’t happen to me. Or they didn’t happen to the me who exists now, but they happened to a me once upon a time, who isn’t me anymore but is someone else, literally.
Confused, yet? Try living it.
A lot of my life before she bonded with me is fuzzy. A lot of both lives, really. My life--or at least, the life with my name on it--is one of a messed-up girl who goes on to do messed-up things until she gets messed up herself, and the other me saves her. The life without my name on it is Mae’s, or Lana’s, and she was born in lab, or a hospital, and she loved Lex, and she tried to save the world. She was two people and nobody, at the same time. Linda was about to be nobody when she found her, and then for a while we were all one person (sort of).
For a long time, when we were one person, she had most of the control. I was there, though, whispering, being and showing her what it was to be a human like she had never been, and feeling her living my life as if I hadn’t messed everything up. We had to help each other; it took both of us to become a person.
There were a lot of other things going on, though, and we flew on wings of fire and fought evil and triumphed and saved each other. Being together made us stronger, more real, than we’d ever been before.
Then she left me. Part of her (part of me) was destined to save people, to be an Earth-born Angel, and she joined with another. Since we were one person for so long, and she (we) tries her best not to destroy that which she’s healed, she left what memories of hers I had intact.
I dream of a kind Lex, I thrash in the night against a Lex who lied to me, I fight at Superman’s side to save my small home, failing in the end. I also dream about slicing, and crafting horror with my hands, and those dreams--that they are dreams and not nightmares--terrify me upon waking. There is the nightmare of my own blood, and fire, and the pain/fright/shock/joy of joining with Supergirl.
I remember totally and completely being Supergirl. I love to fly. I love to run. I love the feel of steel bending in my hands, and the skirt (that stupid, silly, wonderfully iconic skirt) whipping against my legs. I laugh to this day at the look on Superwoman’s face when she saw the skirt. She’s such a practical animal; I don’t know why she’s a hero in the first place. The time I spent without my flight, leaping in search of Mae, is a horrible cold time, and I have nightmares about it to this day.
I have a lot of nightmares.
I have a lot of dreams, too, memories of flying beside Superwoman and being looked on as an equal, memories of trading TK tips with Superboy, memories of fighting alongside Comet and getting to know my parents again.
She left me, though. Really, I was the messed-up girl. She gave me what I needed to not be messed-up anymore, to be Linda Danvers again and not some mess of a mentally unbalanced teenager, and I don’t know what to do with it without her. She has a destiny, and without her making my life crazy, without her to deal with these powers and the consequences of having them, I’m lost. I’m still Supergirl--she gave me that much of herself--but the long blond hair and the skirt feel awkward without her. I have so many choices to make, and I’m not the guide anymore--I’m not the one who can shrug and say, Oh well, I tried to tell you. The only one in this lonely body is me.
She (I) had confidence in me, or she wouldn’t have left me with the gift of her powers. She must have known what she was doing. I might have been a person first, but she was good first.
I don’t know what to do. But . . . I think I might know where to go.
*
"Kon!"
"What?"
Kara leaned her head into his bedroom and Kon leaned back from the computer so he could see her better. Her blond hair was falling out of its bun, and her glasses had been pushed up onto her head at some point. It was as strangely between identities as she always tended to be in their home. Kon rubbed his head, raising his eyebrows at her.
"What would you think of Linda coming to live with us for a while?"
The front legs of his chair thumped back onto the ground when he started in surprise. "Linda? Supergirl? What’s wrong, is she okay?"
Kara shrugged, meeting his eyes. "I think . . . she’s okay enough to know she’s not okay, which is a step in the right direction. She’s told her parents she found a job out here, and she’s promised to look for one, but she doesn’t want to be around people who don’t understand everything that’s happened to her."
"I get not wanting the mundanes to have weird looks. She tell you all that?" Kon nodded at the phone in her hand.
Kara shook her head. "I inferred a lot of it. I don’t know what’s going on in her head, but it can’t be helping that she doesn’t have anyone she can be herself around. I think she’s just looking for sanctuary, even if she didn’t say that."
"Then who am I to protest having a hot girl around?" Kon grinned and waggled his eyebrows at Kara, who rolled her eyes and ruffled his hair.
"I’ll call her back, then, if you’re okay with it."
"Yeah, it’s cool." Kon nodded. Kara started to walk away. "Hey, Kara?"
"Hmm?" She swung back through the door.
Kon ducked his head. "Thanks for asking me."
Kara paused. "This is your home, too, Kon. And much as I want to help Linda, you come first. Always. Got it?"
"Got it."
Kara ruffled his hair again, and Kon batted at her, mockingly indignant. She laughed and went to call Linda back.
This thing, however, decided to blindside me and demand to be written, which I did, and then demanded to be posted. It's much farther along the canon timeline than any of the other House of El stuff I've posted, but I have fics set before and after this fic in the universe, though nothing after this has been posted yet.
Title: The Strange and Disturbing Saga of Linda Danvers, the One and Only Supergirl
Fandom: DC comics
Series: House of El
Pairing/Characters: gen; Linda Danvers/Matrix/Supergirl, Kara Zor-El, Kon-El
Rating: PG
Summary: AU. Linda reflects on her life and wonders how to decide where to go now.
Disclaimer: DC owns them, I hijack them and give them new lives.
Author's Notes: So, this series gave me a convenient outlet for my odd affinity for Peter David’s Supergirl, a title I’ve only read the first dozen or so issues of. But she’s fantastic, and one of the reasons I’m in DC, and even though her continuity is enough to give even superhero fans a headache, I decided to leap when I realized this AU gave me an opening to save her from the limbo she’s in with canon right now.
Word Count: 1,073
I have a lot of memories of things that didn’t happen. Or rather, things that didn’t happen to me. Or they didn’t happen to the me who exists now, but they happened to a me once upon a time, who isn’t me anymore but is someone else, literally.
Confused, yet? Try living it.
A lot of my life before she bonded with me is fuzzy. A lot of both lives, really. My life--or at least, the life with my name on it--is one of a messed-up girl who goes on to do messed-up things until she gets messed up herself, and the other me saves her. The life without my name on it is Mae’s, or Lana’s, and she was born in lab, or a hospital, and she loved Lex, and she tried to save the world. She was two people and nobody, at the same time. Linda was about to be nobody when she found her, and then for a while we were all one person (sort of).
For a long time, when we were one person, she had most of the control. I was there, though, whispering, being and showing her what it was to be a human like she had never been, and feeling her living my life as if I hadn’t messed everything up. We had to help each other; it took both of us to become a person.
There were a lot of other things going on, though, and we flew on wings of fire and fought evil and triumphed and saved each other. Being together made us stronger, more real, than we’d ever been before.
Then she left me. Part of her (part of me) was destined to save people, to be an Earth-born Angel, and she joined with another. Since we were one person for so long, and she (we) tries her best not to destroy that which she’s healed, she left what memories of hers I had intact.
I dream of a kind Lex, I thrash in the night against a Lex who lied to me, I fight at Superman’s side to save my small home, failing in the end. I also dream about slicing, and crafting horror with my hands, and those dreams--that they are dreams and not nightmares--terrify me upon waking. There is the nightmare of my own blood, and fire, and the pain/fright/shock/joy of joining with Supergirl.
I remember totally and completely being Supergirl. I love to fly. I love to run. I love the feel of steel bending in my hands, and the skirt (that stupid, silly, wonderfully iconic skirt) whipping against my legs. I laugh to this day at the look on Superwoman’s face when she saw the skirt. She’s such a practical animal; I don’t know why she’s a hero in the first place. The time I spent without my flight, leaping in search of Mae, is a horrible cold time, and I have nightmares about it to this day.
I have a lot of nightmares.
I have a lot of dreams, too, memories of flying beside Superwoman and being looked on as an equal, memories of trading TK tips with Superboy, memories of fighting alongside Comet and getting to know my parents again.
She left me, though. Really, I was the messed-up girl. She gave me what I needed to not be messed-up anymore, to be Linda Danvers again and not some mess of a mentally unbalanced teenager, and I don’t know what to do with it without her. She has a destiny, and without her making my life crazy, without her to deal with these powers and the consequences of having them, I’m lost. I’m still Supergirl--she gave me that much of herself--but the long blond hair and the skirt feel awkward without her. I have so many choices to make, and I’m not the guide anymore--I’m not the one who can shrug and say, Oh well, I tried to tell you. The only one in this lonely body is me.
She (I) had confidence in me, or she wouldn’t have left me with the gift of her powers. She must have known what she was doing. I might have been a person first, but she was good first.
I don’t know what to do. But . . . I think I might know where to go.
*
"Kon!"
"What?"
Kara leaned her head into his bedroom and Kon leaned back from the computer so he could see her better. Her blond hair was falling out of its bun, and her glasses had been pushed up onto her head at some point. It was as strangely between identities as she always tended to be in their home. Kon rubbed his head, raising his eyebrows at her.
"What would you think of Linda coming to live with us for a while?"
The front legs of his chair thumped back onto the ground when he started in surprise. "Linda? Supergirl? What’s wrong, is she okay?"
Kara shrugged, meeting his eyes. "I think . . . she’s okay enough to know she’s not okay, which is a step in the right direction. She’s told her parents she found a job out here, and she’s promised to look for one, but she doesn’t want to be around people who don’t understand everything that’s happened to her."
"I get not wanting the mundanes to have weird looks. She tell you all that?" Kon nodded at the phone in her hand.
Kara shook her head. "I inferred a lot of it. I don’t know what’s going on in her head, but it can’t be helping that she doesn’t have anyone she can be herself around. I think she’s just looking for sanctuary, even if she didn’t say that."
"Then who am I to protest having a hot girl around?" Kon grinned and waggled his eyebrows at Kara, who rolled her eyes and ruffled his hair.
"I’ll call her back, then, if you’re okay with it."
"Yeah, it’s cool." Kon nodded. Kara started to walk away. "Hey, Kara?"
"Hmm?" She swung back through the door.
Kon ducked his head. "Thanks for asking me."
Kara paused. "This is your home, too, Kon. And much as I want to help Linda, you come first. Always. Got it?"
"Got it."
Kara ruffled his hair again, and Kon batted at her, mockingly indignant. She laughed and went to call Linda back.