[Fic-Oneshot] Glitterdammerung
Title: Glitterdammerung
Fandoms: Avengers, MCU
Rating: G
Genre: Gen, mentioned slash pairing
Details: Crack, Humor, Fluff
Characters/Pairings: background!Tony/Bruce, Thor, Steve, Natasha, Clint
Wordcount: 1962
Summary: Tony is up to something, and Bruce knows it. What he doesn't know is that it involves glitter. Prompt: http://avengerkink.livejournal.com/19994.html?thread=49279258#t49279258
Tony and Bruce took their lunch in the gym that day. It had been Tony's idea, and his smile that seemed too cheerful for the occasion, made Bruce nervous. Tony was up to something.
Steve, Natasha and Thor were using the gym, but for actual gym purposes. The room had been taking quite a beating lately. Steve was having a hard time ever since Bucky resurfaced, Natasha and Clint were having relationship issues and Thor... well Thor was much better at not letting on to what was bothering him but it probably had to do with his brother. It always did. And whenever the group got too upset, they took out their aggression on punching bags.
But with Steve and Thor's advanced strength (even Natasha could pack a punch harder than your average human), they never lasted long. Some of them were torn, or bludgeoned in half, and Bruce swore he couldn't go into the gym once without finding the remains of some ill-fated bag strewn across the glossy rubber floor like road kill. Tony had bought 20 new bags just in the last month. The billionaire didn't seem to mind, I mean, who cares if your teammates are going through expensive gym equipment like toilet paper when you have more money than God? Still, Bruce thought they could use a lesson in meditation techniques.
That day however, no punching bags were damaged. They all looked brand new, and possibly a different brand than usual. Maybe Tony found something they can't break, Bruce thought, as they sat down at a table with their food. Tony had finally gotten off his shawarma kick and they had subs.
"You seem cheerful," Bruce said, carefully peeling back the paper around half his sandwich, tucking in pieces of lettuce as they threatened to drop.
Tony had torn open the layers of paper around his sub, making a messy nest on the table as he lifted out half the sandwich. He gave Bruce an innocent smile. "Is there a reason I shouldn't be cheerful?"
"You're up to something."
Tony didn't answer, but the corners of his eyes crinkled as he took a bite from his food. His attention turned to Thor, who was currently having it out with one of the new punching bags in nothing but a pair of jeans.
Bruce squinted. Tony was watching Thor intently, lips tugged upward in his usual smirk. It was hard to tell whether he was ogling the Asgardian or not. Tony was always unrepentant about anything sexual, but it seemed a bit much even for him to bring his boyfriend with him to eat while he eyed a shirt-less Thor.
"Are you... checking him out?"
"Is that jealously I hear?"
"No, more like confusion."
Tony snorted. "The only thing I'm checking out is the new bags I bought."
So he had finally decided to invest in something super-human-proof. "Think these ones will last?"
"We'll see," Tony answered, a gleam in his eyes.
Before Bruce had a chance to further interrogate, Natasha was sitting down across from them, wiping sweat off her forehead with a white towel. "You finally decide to use the gym, Stark? You know, I think you're getting a little flabby."
Tony gasped, putting a hand over his chest. "Me, flabby? I know it looks easy to fly around in that suit all day, but its not as easy as it looks." At Natasha's scoff, he flexed. "See? If you have any other doubts, you can just ask Brucie here if any of me is flabby."
The curly-haired scientist blushed, and briefly glanced down, trying to contain a smile as he bit into wheat-bread.
"But no, Tash, I'm not here to work out. We're just enjoying lunch." Tony gestured to his mess on the table.
The red-haired spy squinted, eyes trailing from one man to the other. "What is he up to, Bruce?"
That's what Dr. Banner wanted to know. "I honestly have no idea."
"Then I'm staying put." Her eyes flash to Tony, her lips barely hinting at amusement. "It's probably the safest."
Tony rolled his eyes, leaning back with an exasperated look on his face. "Why would I be planning anything? We're just having lunch."
"Lunch in a place you never have lunch. And I'm good at reading faces."
"Well if I am planning something, I'm not gonna spoil it by telling you, am I?"
Bruce shook his head. "Surprises aren't a good idea with me, Tony..."
But the eccentric engineer wasn't paying attention. His eyes were on Steve and Thor. Steve had stopped boxing, and joined Thor to talk. The Asgardian had an intense look on his face, full of anger, and sadness, and a tinge of annoyance at the Captain.
"I do not wish to speak of it, Captain. This discussion is over."
Steve runs a hand through his hair, sighing, yet not moving away. "Talking about it will help. You can't just keep it bottled up all the time."
"I'm not keeping anything bottled! I'm taking it out on this sparring sack!"
As the two super heroes bickered, Thor starting to punch harder, Tony grinned, pulling his Stark-pad from the satchel he brought with him. He gazed over the surface with a subdued, yet gleeful expression, which made Bruce and Natasha all the more nervous.
Bruce shifted uncomfortably in his seat. "Tony, whatever you have planned, I really don't think Thor is in the mood for-"
The tell-tale whap of Thor's fist hitting the bag echoed through the room, with the slow hiss of sand pooling out on the floor. But before the god could even groan in disappointment, a powerful stream of glitter started flying from the tear, straight into Thor's face. The sparkling mess didn't stop either, it kept blowing out like snow from a snow blowing machine, and to add to the effect, the fans installed in the walls kicked on, circulating the innumerable particles around the room. No one is left unaffected, and while Thor gets the brunt of the glitter, even Bruce, Natasha, and Tony get a colorful, sparkly mess all over themselves.
At first, no one said anything, and only Thor is left coughing and spitting glitter onto the floor. Glitter still sprays out of the bag, and Thor takes cover behind it to avoid getting more in his face. "What manner of weaponry is this? Is it some sort of poison? Or more of my brother's-"
Thor couldn't even finish his rambling when Steve started laughing, holding a hand over his stomach. "This is no laughing matter, Steve," Thor exclaimed, but it was no use. The blonde super-soldier couldn't stop laughing, his cheeks burning a shiny red.
Natasha at first, looked far from amused, especially as the fans kicked on and distributed the glitter over -everyone-. Her eyes narrowed at Tony, lips twitched, but as Steve started to laugh, any hint of malice was drained from her face, and she started to chuckle.
Bruce face-palmed, thinking about how difficult it was going to be to get the glitter out of his unruly curls. "Tony..."
The engineer looked smug, and pleased, nonchalantly taking a bite of his sub, even though it was now sparkling. After swallowing he says, "Don't they have glitter in Asgard?"
Thor calmed down, but was still sufficiently confused. "What is this? Is this your doing Man of Iron?" The last of the glitter blew out of the bag, and the fans turned off, leaving the room with nothing untouched.
"It's a prank Thor," Steve managed to say, laughing as he ran his hands through his hair.
Natasha's chuckles turned to laughing, a foreign sound that acted like a catalyst, drawing Bruce and Tony into laughter, and finally even Thor.
Thor took a handful of the glitter that was left lingering in the bag and walked over to the table, Steve behind him, and threw it in Tony's face. Bruce smirked, leaning away as more of the sparkly substance landed on his arm. Tony flashed his puppy-dog eyes on him, and Bruce laughed. "You're on your own for this, Tony."
But Thor was still laughing; it had a deep, merry quality that seemed as out of time as the leather armor he often wore. "What is the meaning of this, Stark? If this is your way of telling us to stop ripping the sacks open so frequently..."
Tony waved his hand dismissively. "You got it all wrong. I was just trying to get you big lugs to stop brooding every time you came in here. Well, you can't brood with glitter on your mind. Statistically impossible."
Bruce could tell that Natasha saw through Tony's words, to the heart of it, that Tony cared. She smiled, and gave a little nod. "That's very thoughtful of you, Tony."
Steve was all aglow, both figuratively and literally, his smile all the more ridiculous because he had gotten glitter on his teeth. "Yeah. Never going to forget the look on Thor's face, that's for sure. Thanks Tony."
And it was a nice gesture, Bruce thought, even if done in the flamboyant and ostentatious way Tony did anything. Tony was socially inept sometimes, and while he avoided the strong emotions of others (probably because they awakened his own), he would be there to offer ice cream, or watch a stupid movie with you. Or apparently surprise you with glitter bombs. It made Bruce feel a warmth spreading in his chest, to see everyone smiling, to know that Tony, who even tried to avoid opening up to him, would go out of his way to make his friends happy. Maybe the billionaire wasn't so clueless as everyone thought.
Said billionaire was starting to look uncomfortable, with everyone all smiles on him. "Oh come on, don't you all get sappy on me now. For one, you guys have this room to clean up."
Or maybe not.
Before anyone could start arguing, the doors opened, and there stood Clint, baffled as he paused in the door-frame, duffel bag in hand. "Did we get attacked by pixies?"
--------------------------
It was later, much later, after everyone had pitched in to attempt cleaning the room (It was almost impossible, and after 30 minutes of trying to sweep the floor, JARVIS said that he could handle it), that Bruce found himself alone with Tony, snuggled together on the couch watching Mad Max. Tony's hand was starting to roam down his back, eventually finding its way underneath his shirt.
"I thought you said you wanted to watch a movie."
"You fell for that old trick? Women half your age see past that." Tony wiggled his eyebrows and leaned in for a kiss.
Bruce kissed back, but couldn't help but chuckle through half of it. Tony had tried to wash the glitter off of himself, as did Bruce, but still so much of it clung to his hair and beard. The sight of Tony with a glittering beard was just too difficult to take seriously. When he pulled back from the kiss, he gave Bruce one of those smoldering looks that usually made him weak in the knees. This time, however, it made Bruce burst into laughter, and he was soon cupping a hand over his face trying to silence himself.
Tony looked confused. "Well I get if your not in the mood, but is the laughing necessary?"
Bruce shook his head, and cleared his throat, trying not to giggle. "No, Tony... your beard. Your beard is glittering."
Tony rolled his eyes. "Oh come on, It can't be that bad."
Bruce really didn't want to be grinning right now. "Yes Tony, yes it is..."
Tony groaned. "JARVIS, lights off."
And as Bruce's laughter erupted once more, only then did Tony remember the glitter he had purchased was glow-in-the-dark.
Fandoms: Avengers, MCU
Rating: G
Genre: Gen, mentioned slash pairing
Details: Crack, Humor, Fluff
Characters/Pairings: background!Tony/Bruce, Thor, Steve, Natasha, Clint
Wordcount: 1962
Summary: Tony is up to something, and Bruce knows it. What he doesn't know is that it involves glitter. Prompt: http://avengerkink.livejournal.com/19994.html?thread=49279258#t49279258
Tony and Bruce took their lunch in the gym that day. It had been Tony's idea, and his smile that seemed too cheerful for the occasion, made Bruce nervous. Tony was up to something.
Steve, Natasha and Thor were using the gym, but for actual gym purposes. The room had been taking quite a beating lately. Steve was having a hard time ever since Bucky resurfaced, Natasha and Clint were having relationship issues and Thor... well Thor was much better at not letting on to what was bothering him but it probably had to do with his brother. It always did. And whenever the group got too upset, they took out their aggression on punching bags.
But with Steve and Thor's advanced strength (even Natasha could pack a punch harder than your average human), they never lasted long. Some of them were torn, or bludgeoned in half, and Bruce swore he couldn't go into the gym once without finding the remains of some ill-fated bag strewn across the glossy rubber floor like road kill. Tony had bought 20 new bags just in the last month. The billionaire didn't seem to mind, I mean, who cares if your teammates are going through expensive gym equipment like toilet paper when you have more money than God? Still, Bruce thought they could use a lesson in meditation techniques.
That day however, no punching bags were damaged. They all looked brand new, and possibly a different brand than usual. Maybe Tony found something they can't break, Bruce thought, as they sat down at a table with their food. Tony had finally gotten off his shawarma kick and they had subs.
"You seem cheerful," Bruce said, carefully peeling back the paper around half his sandwich, tucking in pieces of lettuce as they threatened to drop.
Tony had torn open the layers of paper around his sub, making a messy nest on the table as he lifted out half the sandwich. He gave Bruce an innocent smile. "Is there a reason I shouldn't be cheerful?"
"You're up to something."
Tony didn't answer, but the corners of his eyes crinkled as he took a bite from his food. His attention turned to Thor, who was currently having it out with one of the new punching bags in nothing but a pair of jeans.
Bruce squinted. Tony was watching Thor intently, lips tugged upward in his usual smirk. It was hard to tell whether he was ogling the Asgardian or not. Tony was always unrepentant about anything sexual, but it seemed a bit much even for him to bring his boyfriend with him to eat while he eyed a shirt-less Thor.
"Are you... checking him out?"
"Is that jealously I hear?"
"No, more like confusion."
Tony snorted. "The only thing I'm checking out is the new bags I bought."
So he had finally decided to invest in something super-human-proof. "Think these ones will last?"
"We'll see," Tony answered, a gleam in his eyes.
Before Bruce had a chance to further interrogate, Natasha was sitting down across from them, wiping sweat off her forehead with a white towel. "You finally decide to use the gym, Stark? You know, I think you're getting a little flabby."
Tony gasped, putting a hand over his chest. "Me, flabby? I know it looks easy to fly around in that suit all day, but its not as easy as it looks." At Natasha's scoff, he flexed. "See? If you have any other doubts, you can just ask Brucie here if any of me is flabby."
The curly-haired scientist blushed, and briefly glanced down, trying to contain a smile as he bit into wheat-bread.
"But no, Tash, I'm not here to work out. We're just enjoying lunch." Tony gestured to his mess on the table.
The red-haired spy squinted, eyes trailing from one man to the other. "What is he up to, Bruce?"
That's what Dr. Banner wanted to know. "I honestly have no idea."
"Then I'm staying put." Her eyes flash to Tony, her lips barely hinting at amusement. "It's probably the safest."
Tony rolled his eyes, leaning back with an exasperated look on his face. "Why would I be planning anything? We're just having lunch."
"Lunch in a place you never have lunch. And I'm good at reading faces."
"Well if I am planning something, I'm not gonna spoil it by telling you, am I?"
Bruce shook his head. "Surprises aren't a good idea with me, Tony..."
But the eccentric engineer wasn't paying attention. His eyes were on Steve and Thor. Steve had stopped boxing, and joined Thor to talk. The Asgardian had an intense look on his face, full of anger, and sadness, and a tinge of annoyance at the Captain.
"I do not wish to speak of it, Captain. This discussion is over."
Steve runs a hand through his hair, sighing, yet not moving away. "Talking about it will help. You can't just keep it bottled up all the time."
"I'm not keeping anything bottled! I'm taking it out on this sparring sack!"
As the two super heroes bickered, Thor starting to punch harder, Tony grinned, pulling his Stark-pad from the satchel he brought with him. He gazed over the surface with a subdued, yet gleeful expression, which made Bruce and Natasha all the more nervous.
Bruce shifted uncomfortably in his seat. "Tony, whatever you have planned, I really don't think Thor is in the mood for-"
The tell-tale whap of Thor's fist hitting the bag echoed through the room, with the slow hiss of sand pooling out on the floor. But before the god could even groan in disappointment, a powerful stream of glitter started flying from the tear, straight into Thor's face. The sparkling mess didn't stop either, it kept blowing out like snow from a snow blowing machine, and to add to the effect, the fans installed in the walls kicked on, circulating the innumerable particles around the room. No one is left unaffected, and while Thor gets the brunt of the glitter, even Bruce, Natasha, and Tony get a colorful, sparkly mess all over themselves.
At first, no one said anything, and only Thor is left coughing and spitting glitter onto the floor. Glitter still sprays out of the bag, and Thor takes cover behind it to avoid getting more in his face. "What manner of weaponry is this? Is it some sort of poison? Or more of my brother's-"
Thor couldn't even finish his rambling when Steve started laughing, holding a hand over his stomach. "This is no laughing matter, Steve," Thor exclaimed, but it was no use. The blonde super-soldier couldn't stop laughing, his cheeks burning a shiny red.
Natasha at first, looked far from amused, especially as the fans kicked on and distributed the glitter over -everyone-. Her eyes narrowed at Tony, lips twitched, but as Steve started to laugh, any hint of malice was drained from her face, and she started to chuckle.
Bruce face-palmed, thinking about how difficult it was going to be to get the glitter out of his unruly curls. "Tony..."
The engineer looked smug, and pleased, nonchalantly taking a bite of his sub, even though it was now sparkling. After swallowing he says, "Don't they have glitter in Asgard?"
Thor calmed down, but was still sufficiently confused. "What is this? Is this your doing Man of Iron?" The last of the glitter blew out of the bag, and the fans turned off, leaving the room with nothing untouched.
"It's a prank Thor," Steve managed to say, laughing as he ran his hands through his hair.
Natasha's chuckles turned to laughing, a foreign sound that acted like a catalyst, drawing Bruce and Tony into laughter, and finally even Thor.
Thor took a handful of the glitter that was left lingering in the bag and walked over to the table, Steve behind him, and threw it in Tony's face. Bruce smirked, leaning away as more of the sparkly substance landed on his arm. Tony flashed his puppy-dog eyes on him, and Bruce laughed. "You're on your own for this, Tony."
But Thor was still laughing; it had a deep, merry quality that seemed as out of time as the leather armor he often wore. "What is the meaning of this, Stark? If this is your way of telling us to stop ripping the sacks open so frequently..."
Tony waved his hand dismissively. "You got it all wrong. I was just trying to get you big lugs to stop brooding every time you came in here. Well, you can't brood with glitter on your mind. Statistically impossible."
Bruce could tell that Natasha saw through Tony's words, to the heart of it, that Tony cared. She smiled, and gave a little nod. "That's very thoughtful of you, Tony."
Steve was all aglow, both figuratively and literally, his smile all the more ridiculous because he had gotten glitter on his teeth. "Yeah. Never going to forget the look on Thor's face, that's for sure. Thanks Tony."
And it was a nice gesture, Bruce thought, even if done in the flamboyant and ostentatious way Tony did anything. Tony was socially inept sometimes, and while he avoided the strong emotions of others (probably because they awakened his own), he would be there to offer ice cream, or watch a stupid movie with you. Or apparently surprise you with glitter bombs. It made Bruce feel a warmth spreading in his chest, to see everyone smiling, to know that Tony, who even tried to avoid opening up to him, would go out of his way to make his friends happy. Maybe the billionaire wasn't so clueless as everyone thought.
Said billionaire was starting to look uncomfortable, with everyone all smiles on him. "Oh come on, don't you all get sappy on me now. For one, you guys have this room to clean up."
Or maybe not.
Before anyone could start arguing, the doors opened, and there stood Clint, baffled as he paused in the door-frame, duffel bag in hand. "Did we get attacked by pixies?"
--------------------------
It was later, much later, after everyone had pitched in to attempt cleaning the room (It was almost impossible, and after 30 minutes of trying to sweep the floor, JARVIS said that he could handle it), that Bruce found himself alone with Tony, snuggled together on the couch watching Mad Max. Tony's hand was starting to roam down his back, eventually finding its way underneath his shirt.
"I thought you said you wanted to watch a movie."
"You fell for that old trick? Women half your age see past that." Tony wiggled his eyebrows and leaned in for a kiss.
Bruce kissed back, but couldn't help but chuckle through half of it. Tony had tried to wash the glitter off of himself, as did Bruce, but still so much of it clung to his hair and beard. The sight of Tony with a glittering beard was just too difficult to take seriously. When he pulled back from the kiss, he gave Bruce one of those smoldering looks that usually made him weak in the knees. This time, however, it made Bruce burst into laughter, and he was soon cupping a hand over his face trying to silence himself.
Tony looked confused. "Well I get if your not in the mood, but is the laughing necessary?"
Bruce shook his head, and cleared his throat, trying not to giggle. "No, Tony... your beard. Your beard is glittering."
Tony rolled his eyes. "Oh come on, It can't be that bad."
Bruce really didn't want to be grinning right now. "Yes Tony, yes it is..."
Tony groaned. "JARVIS, lights off."
And as Bruce's laughter erupted once more, only then did Tony remember the glitter he had purchased was glow-in-the-dark.