Fuck V.D.
No, not venereal disease. I'm talking about one of the most commercialized, hyped-up, bullshit days of the year that is rumored to symbolize love. I have many reasons for despising this so-called "holiday" and will share them with you now.
I don't hate it because I'm a lonely and embittered feminist. I hate it because it suggests that the key to any lasting relationship is a dozen long-stemmed red roses, a heart shaped box of shitty chocolates, and a ridiculously expensive diamond. For starters, roses are the most unoriginal flower on the planet. Which VD no doubt contributed to. If you can obtain them for $1.99 at fucking 711, it's not romantic. Secondly, not every woman loves chocolate. I happen to be indifferent to it. Not to mention the packaging. Once again another item that can be picked up at the local gas station along with that gallon of milk.
The biggest problem I have with this day is the false belief that a diamond is forever. Diamonds are frequently mined by servants, usually children, in the worst working conditions imaginable. They get paid an amount that a homeless person would scoff at and are overseen by someone who almost always plays a role in the local guerilla army. When these poor people are caught doing an unsatisfactory job, the punishment is to chop off one of their hands or feet. At least they get to keep one hand right? Thousands of people are tyrannically forced to spend 12 hour days in the dark, hunched over just so some dumb bitch can look nice two evenings a year wearing her new earrings.
I received diamond earrings once as a gift from my uncle when I was about 12. I laughed when I opened the box and have yet to wear them. If someone I love were to give me a diamond anything, my response would be uncontrollable laughter and a pink slip because obviously they had absolutely no idea who I am.
Also, I think that love should be expressed all year round. It doesn't matter how, but heaving a cheap box of candy and a plastic rose that plays the theme from the movie "Love Story" once a year is NOT the grand romantic gesture. And yes, the above did really happen to me.
I don't hate it because I'm a lonely and embittered feminist. I hate it because it suggests that the key to any lasting relationship is a dozen long-stemmed red roses, a heart shaped box of shitty chocolates, and a ridiculously expensive diamond. For starters, roses are the most unoriginal flower on the planet. Which VD no doubt contributed to. If you can obtain them for $1.99 at fucking 711, it's not romantic. Secondly, not every woman loves chocolate. I happen to be indifferent to it. Not to mention the packaging. Once again another item that can be picked up at the local gas station along with that gallon of milk.
The biggest problem I have with this day is the false belief that a diamond is forever. Diamonds are frequently mined by servants, usually children, in the worst working conditions imaginable. They get paid an amount that a homeless person would scoff at and are overseen by someone who almost always plays a role in the local guerilla army. When these poor people are caught doing an unsatisfactory job, the punishment is to chop off one of their hands or feet. At least they get to keep one hand right? Thousands of people are tyrannically forced to spend 12 hour days in the dark, hunched over just so some dumb bitch can look nice two evenings a year wearing her new earrings.
I received diamond earrings once as a gift from my uncle when I was about 12. I laughed when I opened the box and have yet to wear them. If someone I love were to give me a diamond anything, my response would be uncontrollable laughter and a pink slip because obviously they had absolutely no idea who I am.
Also, I think that love should be expressed all year round. It doesn't matter how, but heaving a cheap box of candy and a plastic rose that plays the theme from the movie "Love Story" once a year is NOT the grand romantic gesture. And yes, the above did really happen to me.