Feb 08, 2012 02:34
Okay, I'm 29 years old. I REALLY would like to think that by this time that the people in my inner circle would have matured a touch, but I think that's too much to ask for some. If you guys are friends with me on Facebook, odds are that you may have seen this already.
Little background - I have cerebral palsy and epilepsy. My immune system is absolute shit and because of the epilepsy, when I do get sick, I can''t take a lot of meds because they are poisonous due to my mandatory meds. Easy enough to follow, right? Well, you know how every year, we all get slammed with some kind of sickness that puts us in bed for a few days and we all just ask for death instead? That's me right now. Basically, I just don't have the vomitting and fever, just everything else. It's totally lame, but getting better by the day. I've been sick since last Thursday. Can't talk, swallow, I sleep nearly all day, am weak, you know the drill.
So, I slept most of the day away, again. I was supposed to go to the Lenny Kravitz concert tonight and was SO excited, but just couldn't get up. That ought to tell you how bad I felt. So I slept. Well, then I woke up because no matter how sick you are, you can only sleep so long. So I get on Facebook and say that I hate being sick. This is mainly because I have a bunch of people (family, mainly my mom) asking me CONSTANTLY how I am feeling if I don't post because they all live out of town. And plus, I can still lay down and type. It's not a hard concept.
So, friends are giving me well wishes and telling me what I can take naturally and such. I go to check my Facebook before bed cuz my sister lives in Germany and I always like to check in to see if she is on cuz I never get to talk to her. What do I find? I find a reply on my last post from a girl I have considered to be a friend, who was at our wedding, and is my husband's business partner's girlfriend. I'm not going to copy and paste because I can guarantee you I will start crying again. I can't look at shit like this twice cuz it just upsets me. She basically told me that, I wasn't sick, I'm pathetic, all I ever do is complain, and sit on my ass all day and collect unemployment. THEN, she told me that every single one of my friends thinks the same but are too chicken to tell me and that I'm a cry baby. Then she unfriends me.
Okay, first off, I AM sick. Second, I started looking for a job four months before I was laid off when I first found out about what was happening and (much like thousands of other people) cannot find a damn job. It's been a year. I do not LIKE collecting unemployment. Even though I'm entitled to it, I'm one of those that feel I need to work for my money. I send out resumes every day and did three interviews just last week! I'm set up with multiple temp agencies. It sucks out there! And the thing about nothing but posting negative complaints, everyone complains on Facebook. However, I am one of those that is certainly more positive than negative because the negative stuff is really personal most of the time and has no reason to be aired. I know people who ONLY post negative stuff. Hell, my little sister does nothing but bitch, but I don't unfriend her. I simply avoid her negative posts and respond to the positive ones or those that may be negative but I feel I can help with, like help with her marriage or something.
The part that really hurt was the last part. When I was younger and was diagnosed with my epilepsy, my best friend did the same thing to me. I tried to kill myself over this because not only was I a damn lab rat living in the hospital due to to just being diagnosed, but I was being told horrible things by my best friend. We later reconciled after high school and she apologized to me repeatedly, telling me she couldn't believe she had ever been so cruel and wished she could take it back. Which I can understand, kids do stupid shit. But this isn't eighth grade!
I have to say that this is one of the main reasons I don't have many female friends. I have never had an easy time trusting women. For the most part, I believe that if a man felt this way about me, he would TELL me. He wouldn't go and post on my damn Facebook and then unnfriend me so I couldn't answer. That's just not how they communicate. At least not with me.
So now my husband is sleeping in the other room cuz he's all upset about this. He hates female drama shit and basically anything where people act like they're twelve years old. Plus he gets to go to work tomorrow and tell his business partner, which will put him in a hard spot because his partner really likes me, so now I feel like an asshole even though I didn't do anything.
real life