India, Kate Nash, Concerts, And Miscellany. Not in that order.
So I'd been doing really good since acupuncture yesterday. Hung out with sarah last night and that was really awesome. Today it was sunny and gorgeous and I felt really good about myself. I had to go work at bodyworks for a couple hours and I wanted to stop and make sure I wasn't on the schedule for this saturday or next saturday at the bou. So I stop in a get a cup of coffee.
And larry is there. And like, he starts trying to strike up a conversation right away at the register. And then I come in to check the schedule and he comes over and starts talking. About life and doctor who and stuff. And it was a really relaxed, good conversation.
And then I went to work at bodyworks. And an hour later I had this big fucking panic attack. I felt sick the rest of the night and just so depressed. Like, mad at myself for letting it happen when I was feeling so good. Like I did it on purpose. Idk I just feel so crappy now. About myself, and about larry. I fucking miss him. And he seemed so eager to talk to me, so now there's this part of me going, hey, maybe there's a chance. And I know there isn't but I wish there was. Fuck.
Yeah. I hung out with my cousin adrienne all evening and that was really awesome. She's the closest thing to a sister I have. I can say anything to her. But now I'm home and I feel like crap again. Blah.
Oh, and my appetite has disappeared. I need to chat with the psychiatrist about that. I noticed it like yesterday. On tuesday I had lunch and dinner, but ate very little at each. Wednesday I had breakfast and that was it all day. Thursday I only ate dinner, went out with sarah and I ate, but idk I felt sick and didn't eat as much as I think I should have. Today I just ate dinner with my cousin and again, didn't eat much. I just feel sick when I eat and I'm never hungry. So. Gotta do something about that.
But yeah. Kate Nash is going on tour and she's coming to mpls. But I won't be in town because it's the day of my cousin's wedding (not adrienne). I'm pretty pissed, actually. Bah. She's in Chicago on the 2nd, a friday, and I really am very tempted to try and go... Road trip, anyone?
Um. Working on vaccinations and flight stuff for India. I keep thinking something is going to go wrong or something. Since I decided now though I'm all uptight and worried about money. Because this will use up essentially all my savings, and my parents don't really have a lot of money, either. So now every time I spend any money at all I'm like raaa.
Damnit. Stuff is shit. Blah.
And larry is there. And like, he starts trying to strike up a conversation right away at the register. And then I come in to check the schedule and he comes over and starts talking. About life and doctor who and stuff. And it was a really relaxed, good conversation.
And then I went to work at bodyworks. And an hour later I had this big fucking panic attack. I felt sick the rest of the night and just so depressed. Like, mad at myself for letting it happen when I was feeling so good. Like I did it on purpose. Idk I just feel so crappy now. About myself, and about larry. I fucking miss him. And he seemed so eager to talk to me, so now there's this part of me going, hey, maybe there's a chance. And I know there isn't but I wish there was. Fuck.
Yeah. I hung out with my cousin adrienne all evening and that was really awesome. She's the closest thing to a sister I have. I can say anything to her. But now I'm home and I feel like crap again. Blah.
Oh, and my appetite has disappeared. I need to chat with the psychiatrist about that. I noticed it like yesterday. On tuesday I had lunch and dinner, but ate very little at each. Wednesday I had breakfast and that was it all day. Thursday I only ate dinner, went out with sarah and I ate, but idk I felt sick and didn't eat as much as I think I should have. Today I just ate dinner with my cousin and again, didn't eat much. I just feel sick when I eat and I'm never hungry. So. Gotta do something about that.
But yeah. Kate Nash is going on tour and she's coming to mpls. But I won't be in town because it's the day of my cousin's wedding (not adrienne). I'm pretty pissed, actually. Bah. She's in Chicago on the 2nd, a friday, and I really am very tempted to try and go... Road trip, anyone?
Um. Working on vaccinations and flight stuff for India. I keep thinking something is going to go wrong or something. Since I decided now though I'm all uptight and worried about money. Because this will use up essentially all my savings, and my parents don't really have a lot of money, either. So now every time I spend any money at all I'm like raaa.
Damnit. Stuff is shit. Blah.